Steps to make Buddies like a Grown-Up

 

How to Meet New People 6 Tips for Making More Friends

Video taken from the channel: Thomas Frank


 

How to make friends as an adult

Video taken from the channel: Tali Shlafer


 

How Do Adults Make Friends?

Video taken from the channel: vlogbrothers


 

Loneliness & Finding it hard to make friends | GIRL TALK Q&A

Video taken from the channel: Samantha Maria


 

How to make friends as an adult | Ingrid Nilsen

Video taken from the channel: Ingrid Nilsen


 

How To Make Friends As A Grown-Ass Man

Video taken from the channel: Movember


 

How To Make Friends As An Adult

Video taken from the channel: Matthew Hussey


 

Making Friends As an Adult Is So Much Easier If You Do This

Video taken from the channel: Marie Forleo


 

How to Meet New People 6 Tips for Making More Friends

Video taken from the channel: Thomas Frank


 

How Do Adults Make Friends?

Video taken from the channel: vlogbrothers


 

Loneliness & Finding it hard to make friends | GIRL TALK Q&A

Video taken from the channel: Samantha Maria


 

How To Make Friends As A Grown-Ass Man

Video taken from the channel: Movember


 

How to make friends as an adult | Ingrid Nilsen

Video taken from the channel: Ingrid Nilsen


 

How To Make Friends As An Adult

Video taken from the channel: Matthew Hussey


What’s a mistake grown-ups make when trying to meet new friends? Thinking they need to look for a twin. If you’re single, say, you need another single buddy. Open your mind about whom you’re willing to be friendly with and focus on what you may have in common. Here are 7 great ways to make friends as a grown up. Host a regular neighborhood gathering.

When we lived in Seattle, my husband and I started hosting a regular Tuesday night happy hour we called “Tini Tuesday” (as in Martini Tuesday). Each week I’d come up with a fun “signature” drink to serve, and our neighbors would stop by after. Here are my common sense tips for grown-up friend-making: Stop thinking friendships “just happen” (or fall into place for everyone but you).

The best way to make real friends is to find an activity you genuinely enjoy, and pursue it. Join a club, and take a class. Heck, right now I almost have TOO MANY friends, as between my work (freelance production designer) and my writing and comedy improv classes I am constantly meeting new and exciting people all the time that I really anjoy and connect with and want to keep in touch with and.

I’m so glad you wrote about this. It is so hard to make friends as an adult, especially as an introvert. I’ve always had a hard time making friends outside of work. We just moved to Minnesota from North Carolina where I left my job to stay at home with my kids (9,5, and 6 months).

Staying at home makes it extra hard to make friends. Making Friends as a Grown Up A few years ago, I was at the rink for my daughter’s first hockey game of the season. As an introvert who’s shy and finds small talk super awkward, I always dread meeting new people, and I don’t consider making friends my forte. How to Make Friends as a Grown-Up | Nerd Fitness This is not a pity post or a cry for attention. I have been in Atlanta for almost 5 years.

I feel like I have only actually made acquaintances. I have not been able to make a new friend that I did not know in some form prior to moving here. The end of high school and college seem to be the prime time for men to make friends with other guys. This is when we start to zero in on our interests and begin finding paths for our adult lives.

The activities we choose at this time often become the centers of our social spheres. Making friends in school had been cake! But my new self-employed reality meant social interaction was limited to annual get togethers with long-distance friends. Something had to change. The moment I returned home, I opened my laptop and pulled up Google. “How to make friends in Seattle” I typed pathetically in between handfuls of Cheetos.

Making friends as a Grown-up is hard and weird. When you’re a kid and you moved schools, the teacher would just assign you to a person and they generally became your best friend. When you left school, you usually made friends with workmates by getting on the piss and indulging in debauchery that thankfully for me, was prior to mobile phones having cameras.

List of related literature:

By welcoming people personally and responding to their specific interests, you can foster an environment in which everyone will feel confident and energized about participating with your institution and with each other.

“The Participatory Museum” by Nina Simon
from The Participatory Museum
by Nina Simon
Museum 2.0, 2010

Besides cementing old social bonds, touching can also help to make friends.

“Skin: A Natural History” by Nina G. Jablonski
from Skin: A Natural History
by Nina G. Jablonski
University of California Press, 2013

One way of making friends is to join clubs or associations based on the person’s special interest.

“Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals” by Tony Attwood
from Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals
by Tony Attwood
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1998

Making new friends might seem really difficult if you are naturally shy, but if you learn how to be a good listener you can often make friends without always being the one to make the first move.

“Girls Body Book” by Kelli Dunham
from Girls Body Book
by Kelli Dunham
Cider Mill Press, 2013

When I’ve made friends as an adult, it’s always been via a common interest.

“Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life” by Cynthia Kim
from Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life
by Cynthia Kim
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2014

one way to make friends is to hang around with people who are similar to you.

“Life Skills Activities for Secondary Students with Special Needs” by Darlene Mannix
from Life Skills Activities for Secondary Students with Special Needs
by Darlene Mannix
Wiley, 2009

You can start by setting aside one otherwise busy evening a week to just hang out with a close friend who isn’t competitive and who doesn’t require a lot of conversation.

“Anger Management For Dummies” by W. Doyle Gentry
from Anger Management For Dummies
by W. Doyle Gentry
Wiley, 2011

Around you extend all of the different “kinds” of friends you have to fill all the different parts of your life.

“The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules: The Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens with Asperger Syndrome” by Brian Bojanowski, Jennifer Cook O'Toole
from The Asperkid’s (Secret) Book of Social Rules: The Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens with Asperger Syndrome
by Brian Bojanowski, Jennifer Cook O’Toole
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2012

Joining sports, drama, band, or other extra-curricular activities also are great ways to connect with others.

“Fighting Invisible Tigers: Stress Management for Teens: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition” by Earl Hipp
from Fighting Invisible Tigers: Stress Management for Teens: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition
by Earl Hipp
CREATESPACE PUB, 2009

As an adult, you establish friendships by finding common ground in an atmosphere that nurtures it.

“Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships” by Geoffrey Greif
from Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships
by Geoffrey Greif
Oxford University Press, 2008

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

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541 comments

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  • Me, 28 with no friends. Busy managing family, future, workplace and getting depressed. I’m not cool as Matthew. None pay me attention, though I go on daydreaming with my single life.

  • Living in London makes this so much harder…either people are obsessed with social status, Post codes…or are either creepy or socially awkward.
    ��
    I never expect people in London to initiate a conversation…but I have some amazing stories������.

  • Thank you for this. I have been living in London UK for over 13 years, but I do not have any friends, especially that I have recently come out of long and toxic relationship. Fingers crossed things will change for the better. Thank you for your video

  • Hi! I am Chamberlain Festus. A gospel musician from Lagos, Nigeria. I seek to connect with people from the west.. Let’s be friends.. My Facebook ID is: Chambersfestus. And my Instagram Handle is: @Chambers_Festus. Thanks friends for your candid responses.

  • That a very hard to feel you haven’t any friends I really think about it and I created a new account to maybe get it better my page is for talking and find some friends so take a look if you want ❤️

  • After being married 13 years and now alone in a complete new country and I can’t even speak the language. And only here to be near my daughter. Wow! Do I feel alone.

  • I don’t drink.. i don’t like going to movies..my girlfriend is a bitch…I like shooting guns and riding everything motorized on my mountain property…I go to public ranges..im to myself until uproached, then I’m more social and likely to leave you with a box of bullets and and nice snap-on blanket after we talk about grip/trigger control and do drills for an hour, lol�� but..that’s where it stops.. I go home n take care of my chickens and clean my guns and spend time with my daughter. It’s almost like I don’t have genuine time to put toward a genuine “relationship”. I just give. Hard to take. Does this make sense to anyone or am I just in my own boat.? I mean I guess I make friends as in the example and exchange numbers..but never initiate after that until I just see you around. To sume it up just busy all the time.

  • What when your old like me?i really dont have any friends.i had them…i think:(
    What if you dont go outside much…really dont know what to say…i take care of my kids..thats all i do.

  • Its like why Dogs always wanna make friends, they’re like ‘omg you’re a dog? Im also a dog?? Friends now’
    It’s the same with kids, as a kid you’re usually surrounded by adults so when you see another kid it’s like ‘omg??ur a kid, I’m a kid too? You like Pokemon/barbies/cartoons too???’ As adults we’re just so used to seeing other adults we don’t view everyone as a potential friend the way we used to.
    Also as a kid everything’s about play. When you’re an adult you’ve just got other things going on you’re not so focused on making friends all the time

  • Don’t know if you did as of yet.

    Think you could make a video on “how to make friends in a pandemic / quarantine” including the best app on the app store

  • I once met a friend in front of the printer:D I was new to the country and the university and didn’t no that I could not use the USB stick directly on the printer. She was standing behind me and helped me out and then we became friends:D We’re still in touch even though it’s 3 years ago and I will meet her when I’ll visit the city in a month:)

  • When you’re a kid you don’t have much expectations of a friend. A friend is just someone who’s there when you want to play or do stuff. You might not even like them but they’re your friend so meh. As an adult I find I look for people who are like me but that makes it that much harder.

  • 23, Ohio, snapchat is Hershey’s (na1ra) dropped out of college I like psychology for self growth from traumatic experiences, mbti & being stupid hit me up if you want to see if we could be friends……

    I have few friends left from high school but moved states so I feel them falling apart just cuz life idk I don’t have friends to hangout with anymore for like 7+ years. It’s difficult to make new friends as adult so Trying new shit since I’m gen z I guess. This soo embarrassing but wat the heck it’s my lack of social skills that are embarrassing. Maybe we could help each other grow social skill???

  • “Get exited when people invite you to places.” No one invites me to anything.
    “Invite them to something you set up.” I don’t have friends so who am I gonna invite? Random people on the street?

  • Hey everyone! As a young man recovering from a past of deep social anxiety (any other homeschoolers here?), I’m hoping to someday help others
    with this issue. I’m currently trying to find out how one could make the lives of people with Social Anxiety a lot easier:)

    Which is why I have two very simple questions:

    1.      
    As a person with social anxiety, what are the 2 biggest issues you’re dealing with?

    2.      
    Regarding social anxiety, what would you wish for more than anything else?

    Thanks so much in advance. As I’m aware this can be sensitive information, please feel free to DM me as well.  Looking forward to reading your answers!

  • can y help
    me finding some jewish friends?I like them and want to develop a friendship in both holland and Israel. Is that possilble, tell me how

  • What I hate the most is when I try to make plans with someone and they act busy on you 2 straight times…at that point I stop asking and we never reconnect

  • Honestly this was a good video I’m glad I came across it! I moved to America 7 years ago and it’s been difficult to make friends I only have acquaintances, but I’m moving back to the Uk soon and even so I have lost some friends, I know I’m commenting late but anyone in their 20s and lives close to London and would like to meet up in London just comment, I’ll be visiting in December ��

  • Q. How would someone who has been a lifetime teetotaler make friends? When you think how much of life is surrounded by alcohol and how much socializing does too -take for example 3 main soaps Corrie,Eastenders and Emmerdale -all based mainly around a pub.It’s not just pubs it’s a big part of most peoples lives,wedding,birthdays,meals or just at home.Of course there are many places to start that doesn’t involve alcohol but somewhere it will turn up it’s almost impossible to avoid in most situations.

  • I’ve recently moved to a big city, so I’m feeling all these feels right now!! Also a moment of deepening friendship was when a pal and I sat in a park in London and read each other’s natal charts and told each other our life stories basically. This pal has very intimate friendships, and I’m really lucky to be a part of one!

  • can anyone please give advice on small talk/ making conversation when you don’t really know the other person? how do I input to a conversation that I can’t really relate to? I really struggle with this and I’m still in school. I hang out with a group of girls but im very quiet and they seem to not want to be friends with me. if were getting lunch for example, they’ll just walk away as if im not even there. I know it sounds petty but id really appreciate any advice possible xxx

  • This video is very necessary and so true. I used to be the biggest “social butterfly,” and knew everyone, everywhere I went. Now, I’m 40, and a mom of an eight year old and don’t have many friends. I’ve realized that at this age, you tend to learn who your “true” friends are. And, it’s difficult to make friends when you’re a full time mom, employed full time, and has a husband who works 70 hours a week. I don’t go out for happy hour on Fridays with other couples, I don’t have a mommy play date group, I don’t have a mother’s group. I have two good friends who commiserate over our busy lives and enjoy the time that we have with each other!

  • I have always had troubles getting close to people. It feels like I just cant get friends. What makes it harder is that everyone I know is engaged or have families. Also arent people less social now with all of the facebook crap

  • I’m in my 40s and have a really hard time making friends. I don’t drink, so I hate bars. I’m more of an introvert and into geeky stuff like comicbooks and gaming. Women my age usually don’t share my interests, and men only seem to be looking for hookups or girlfriends, when I’m just looking for friends. I have no interest in dating. Its just hard to make new friends as a Gen Xer.

  • The problem with making friends for some people (like me) isn’t the fact that we have the wrong mentality or decline requests. It’s the fact that OTHER people always decline requests and seem uninterested in hanging out. It’s hard to do anything about other people! That doesn’t hinder them from making friends however for some weird reason, why do people want to hang with them when they always say no? I always show excitement like mentioned in the video and are always open for hanging out with people but I am still lonelier than most. My experience is that people are very picky and not only picky but very absorbed and busy all the time.
    I find it peculiar that so many people here are lonely, because if you were in my vicinity I would invite you and you would probably decline. Statistically it can’t be true that everyone here including me happens to talk to exactly those people that are uninterested and magically miss all the people open for contact. That can’t be true, I think it’s just most people saying they are lonely and open but when you invite them they still decline.

  • I don’t know where the hell to go to meet guys or girls who think like me. I only have 2 real life friends I can be mostly honest with. I don’t drink or smoke so that also really limits who I can hangout with. Not that I mind if others get shit faced or high or lung cancer around me. Well okay yeah that last one I want no part of. It’s just no one wants someone like me around unless it were a designated driver. I don’t have a lot of money so always bringing lots of refreshments isn’t an option. I don’t want to only be known for that either, “oh he’s just the guy bringing food”. Many people think I’m a loner by choice but who the hell wants that?! No one wants to be alone this much, sure there’s alone time but not all the time. Even the people I know who accept me aren’t completely like me, they’re just very tolerant.

    It’s even more depressing that I felt the need to google how to make friends as an adult again. None of what I watch or listen to ever helps, I just wake up the next morning get ready & go to work if there is any all over again. Sure I’ve made friends with my customers that I do landscaping for. Most of them are elderly though & I can’t act completely like myself around them because I know they won’t agree. I suppose you could say I’m not right in the head, that’s why I can’t be totally myself around everyone. Well isn’t this the generation where you can’t judge anyone? In a world where people can change the gender they’re born as, sometimes multiple times because they just can’t decide. Why am I a bad person who deserves to be alone just because of how I think?

  • There are so many people living a lonely life. I see my friends rarely i mean very rarely. Hardly ever do i get a call to say Hello mate this and that is happening why don’t you come. I concentrate on myself alot though and hardly ever look at Facebook. I work out alot and it does help make you feel better i must admit. I would rather be a lone wolf than a sheep hanging out with fake ass people just to be in company..

  • OK… Ombre pants? <3 damn! Thank you for all of the wicked biz advice. I'd also love to hear some insights on your personal workout routines etc since you have a dance history I think that would be super interesting:D X0X0 Sending lots of love!

  • I am entering my 30s and trying to make new friends and so far it is not going great… For example I signed up for a meetup event and when I got there, no one showed up, not even the event organizers!Another example: I started taking adult ballet lessons and everyone there is so cold and cliquey.I tried to engage with some girls but they didnt really try to keep the conversation going so I gave up. I suffer from anxiety so it’s hard for me to put myself out there but it feels like my efforts are useless.��

  • Meetup women’s groups are great! Most of the time it is just a larger group of great women who are being social, but I have occasionally made friends that went outside the group activities. Good luck �� everyone!

  • I used to be that person few years back and eventually when people only started to use my weakness to put me down, I realised, they aren’t the best person that supposed to be in my life I dont allow and no longer allow toxic negative person in my life.

  • I’ve always had a hard time understanding how much to expect from a friend, what if they never ask how I’m doing, if they never ask me out while I try to hang out with them, I wish you could answer this cause I think I might expect too much from people (not in a relationship way) ��

  • Yes Matthew is right about meeting new friends through old ones. I’m going to two parties next week and I guarantee to meet new people there. Don’t be afraid to say your name and talk to strangers, have a quick chat….and move on. Never overstay your welcome by staying for too long. If they like you they will come back to you later….

  • Thinking about our common mortality and how little difference there is between humans and colonies of bacteria makes me feel better about having almost no friends.

  • I am a 21 year old and I can totally relate to how hard it is to make friends and have genuine friendships in life. Anyone wanna be friends? Haha

  • all my old friends or acquaintances have gotten to my girlfriend, since then I have no friends, all false friends, either you should help them move, or you should give them something for their birthday, or they turn on your girlfriend, or you are only the fifth wheel on the car.

  • Your voice is beautiful! Thank you for the tips! I feel like it is important for me to connect with people from an empowered place because friendship is way too intimate for me.. That needs good conditions to be free to respect and support each other..
    First fall in love with self life and share that same love… Nothing else…

  • Hi Inggrid
    I am looking for girl friends. I would like to know them better. On this occassion, I hope I get friends from all over the world. I welcome you that I wish you are always healthy and happy. I am eddie Isa from Padang, Indonesia. Thanks.

  • I know there are some negative comments but this was a really really good video. I’ve kinda noticed my lack of friends for a couple of months and I’ve been doing some of the tips already but what you said is exactly on point

  • Thank you, Marie, you rock and such an inspirational Mentor to us! Because we are the average of the 5 people we hang around with, I decided to hang around my mentors… And I am looking for like-minded groups, even if online! Thank you! Love you!

  • Making friends and meeting women has been extremely hard as an adult. I moved to a new town and I’m always initiating with new people. It’s been like this for several years and I either get ghosted shortly later or it ends in simple small talk every time. It’s so lonely it physically hurts. I’m hoping for one day. You inspired some confidence and hope, but history has left me skeptical.

  • I do thank you. I am really interested in listening to your powerful talk. You are such a motivational speaker. I totally agree with you that ” I should be aware when meeting people”, because not all people sharing the same character. I think this time we’re living, it is not easily to find the real friend who only cares for you and be happy by seeing you improving in all your different life status. I am very optimistic that good people and goodness in many people are still exist up to now, however precious and valuable things are usually found in clean and pure environments. Unfortunately, some men and girls want to make friends because of interests such as wealth or a luxury car and stuff like that. I would say, any friendship or relationship based on materialism (materialistic things) is vulnerable to be failed,broken and fallen. Furthermore, If we (only) build our social relations on appearances; i.e. (the external ones) such as – money, luxury life style and physical beauty – and forget the spiritual beauty, well-mannered character and sacrifice for love, in this case, we actually missing the remaining 50% of the building. (temporary) love is different from (Permanent) Love. Finally, please correct me if I’m wrong. I noticed that there’s kind of (racism) in making friends. i.e. (black people with the same color) and (white people with the same color)!!
    Do You know that (a black girl and man) are like chocolates. i.e. having chocolate skin (some are light chocolate and others dark chocolates) at the end, they are sweet
    Black girls and guys are like chocolate
    White girls and guys are like vanilla
    Both of them are sweet!!
    Thanks!
    By the way, I ‘ve visited an Islamic center recently, I’ve seen them like one body I mean Muslims regardless their nationalities or color skins
    One Muslim lady woman gave me this verse quoted from (The Noble Quran)
    Verse ( 49:13)
    “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female, and made you (different) nations and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed and verily, the most honorable of you and noblest in the sight of God is the most god-fearing (the most pious of you). Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware”
    http://www.islamhouse.com

  • This is ironic to me cuz it seems like many girls/women don’t even want friends…or they’re very selective in who they befriend. And you should be but I’ve noticed as an attractive female it’s hard to make female friends cuz they’re always threatened by u, even if you’re the nicest, most supportive person, it still doesn’t matter. Girls/women will hate u & keep u at an arms length.

  • I have no friends and have never been invited anywhere, so I probably can’t try any of these. The last one, I know for certain would not work for me. Society as determined that old men like me are “creepy” and unwanted. It was worth a shot, anyway.

  • I think the idea of “text me when you get home” can be great for romantic relationships too. Especially in this online dating era and with hook-up culture, we tend to jump right into romance but skip over building some kind of friendship first. One of the ways I knew my boyfriend and I were going to work as a couple was that we didn’t feel obligated to follow antiquated rules like 3 days before calling, and he genuinely cared that I texted him when I got home so he knew I was safe (and conversely would always text me when he got home). It also gave us a chance to talk about those things that go through your brain driving home from a date. Now we live together, so the home safe text doesn’t really exist anymore, but when we get home from doing things we still always talk about the things that have been done, whether we did them together or not

  • I’ve found that being a confident and content introvert has done me a disservice in difficult moments. I don’t need friends until I need them. Investing in people who also invest in me has been stepped up in my life as an intentional move. I even put “call X today” in my planner so that I do not let people I love slip away. And what I’ve found is that I did need them all along, because adult friendships open up a part of my heart I didn’t even know I had. The more we build genuine and inclusive communities, the better we will become. Love this video Ingrid!

  • Hey Ingrid! While watching this video I was wondering why is it so effort-ful to do friendship as an adult, whereas when we were kid it was so easy, there were no awkward moments even. Isn’t it?

  • “I think we forgot how hard we used to work at it” that’s an excellent point. I think we’re also more easily disappointed, or possibly more easily discouraged by disappointment. When I was a kid, finding out that someone didn’t like x thing wasn’t a big deal, and having an awkward moment with someone didn’t make me want to run away screaming and not talk to them anymore. But now, those things are like “guess this isn’t going to work out then.” It’s good to be able to recognise that so I can try and fix that behaviour in the future, so thanks for that.

  • Thank you for this video, for it gave me hope that I can find close friends, after I lost my old ones. It’s especially important to me because I’m quiet shy and don’t connect easily to others

  • anyone have tips for conversation starters? When in social situations, I often don’t know how to go up to someone and start a conversation. Thanks!

  • Hi, believe it or not but I am a man (of colour and muslim!) and I’m watching this video as I too am struggling to make friends as an adult. I really do feel held back (by my own mind) mostly and when I do catch up/talk with some people, I often feel like im needy/desperate messaging them. and I often fear rejection:/ wish me luck in my friend making journey. I have sporadically been on one or two meetups to try and make friends but I’ve not been able to relate/bond with anyone so far. I think is video is fantastic, I may rewatch this again and i’ll probably read “text me when you get back” (I read a lot of books anyway, mostly crime/thriller but I’ve also read “eleanor oliphant is completely fine” a good read btw). many thanks

  • Loving that this got posted after I’ve just moved to Missoula without knowing anyone, gunna use this advice to make friends in this amazing little city

  • so I travel for work so it is INCREDIBLY HARD to make friends while touring. I don’t have a lot of consistency in locations but it’s made me cling on to the friends I have back at my home and grow those connections even more.

  • I really needed this. I just moved in Chicago and making friends in hard. My advice is to be open, kind and look out for opportunities to connect with people! Thanks Ingrid! ����

  • People with no friends as adults made the wrong choices in their lives and now are gonna pay for It with loneliness for the rest of their lives, having no friends also shows lack of intelligence.On the other hand, others with friends are the ones who were smart enough,grew up the right way,they were social and talkative,they had good social skills,maybe they are also beautiful,they were good students and thats why they can enjoy their lives now.We the loners are the dumbfucks who made the wrong choices and we are bound to die from depression.Nobody is open for friendship as an adult,their friendships have already formed.One thing I know is that life and society are harsh and dont forgive past mistakes.Personally all I have to say is, fuck this life,fuck society,fuck the world,fuck the whole planet.I dont give a shit anymore, I have my job,my money,I m gonna sign up for classes,either boxing or dancing or something, I will fuck my strippers,I will travel the world with group tours and If im gonna die while travelling then I ll die.We are all gonna die, both the loners and the ones with the thousand friends.Even if the whole earth befriended you, you cant escape death,death is inevitable for everyone.As joker says in the movie we live in a system that chooses whats funny or not and whats acceptable or not.A system that feelings dont matter and real love doesnt exist.Well fuck this system.I m out…peace.

  • I made the experience that people are very surprised (in a positiv way) when I reach out to new neighbours or colleagues at work actively saying or sending a note “Hi you’re new here, welcome:) Do you want to grab a coffee some time this week?” it is kind of sad that most of the time I get the response “sure, that’s so nice. this never happend to me before”

  • What a great video and so true! I was wondering what you think about platonic female <> male friendships. You underlined female friends a few times. For me personally I love the different dynamics and insights from both my female and male friends and would’nt want to miss out on either of them

  • This video really made me reconnect with Ingrid. I grew up watching her and growing with her and I really felt the emotion and love in this video. We love you Ingrid!

  • There are also smaller subreddits too and they are a great way to make connections! Also a great place to meet friends is volunteering or activism because you have at least some of the same values!

  • I’m in my 40s and have a really hard time making friends. I don’t drink, so I hate bars. I’m more of an introvert and into geeky stuff like comicbooks and gaming. Women my age usually don’t share my interests, and men only seem to be looking for hookups or girlfriends, when I’m just looking for friends. I have no interest in dating. Its just hard to make new friends as a Gen Xer.

  • I def find it hard to maintain friends. I meet them and then after a few months of so they disappear. I try to send sweet text saying hello and let’s catch up but a lot of times it goes in replied or they don’t get back to me until days later and say no.

  • I think the best activities for friends dates are things that allow time to talk while still being active (if you are active people) or something unique. I love hiking and certain friends do as well so when we have the chance to get together it is almost always for a hike or a cookout in a state park (or even better a camping weekend!). With other friends I like getting dressed up and going to a tea house for high tea.

  • Thank you SO much for this video. I recently moved across the country and it has been three weeks since I’ve settled in. I have had difficulty finding friends I actually connect with on a deeper level but I am trying to be patient and put myself out there as much as possible!

  • I thought I was weird having no friends and only hanging out with my boyfriend lol I’m glad I’m not the only one.
    All my friends live interstate.

  • I appreciate your recommendations, I moved to a new city in the last year and struggled with finding friends and I feel like I still am. I thankfully can go back to the old city once a month usually but I realize it’s important to invest in local friendships. I find work friends are easiest to see during work but it’s hard to schedule friend dates. So instead we do favors for each other like picking up some decorations for their home project or bringing food to share to work. You can always squeeze in a friend date on lunch if your free time schedules don’t align often.:)

  • all my old friends or acquaintances have gotten to my girlfriend, since then I have no friends, all false friends, either you should help them move, or you should give them something for their birthday, or they turn on your girlfriend, or you are only the fifth wheel on the car.

  • Thanks. Thinking more in-depth about the question did help. I needed this its so much better then the quick shallow advice about joining more groups of people.

  • lonely guys? hard to make friends? me too…lots of us suffer from this problem, especially when we’re in our 30s and 40s and are in committed relationships.

    well, i’m not afraid of putting myself out there and making new friends. email me at [email protected] gmail.com, because i’d love to meet more guy friends. the fear and anxiety about making male friends has gotta stop, and someone has to get the ball rolling-i guess that’s me.

  • I just moved across the country by myself and I’ve had success using Meetup and Bumble BFF to make friends! I also do my best to say yes to new experiences. ��

  • It’s too bad I didn’t live in NY because I feel like Ingrid and I would be good friends. I share a lot of the same thoughts and interests as her!

  • a good friend date i had was checking out beyondthestreets gallery in brooklyn on a saturday and then going to smorgasburg in east river state park

  • Thank you SO much for this video. I recently moved across the country and it has been three weeks since I’ve settled in. I have had difficulty finding friends I actually connect with on a deeper level but I am trying to be patient and put myself out there as much as possible!

  • Hi Inggrid
    I am looking for girl friends. I would like to know them better. On this occassion, I hope I get friends from all over the world. I welcome you that I wish you are always healthy and happy. I am eddie Isa from Padang, Indonesia. Thanks.

  • I tried to be someone’s friend but he just didn’t wanted to well he was depressed and i watched how to make depressed friend feel better for him and told him i care about him but he didn’t want to be my friend well i an fine

  • Don’t know if you will see this or address this particular problem, but I would love if you talked about what to do if your partner doesn’t have any friends. Like, I’m his only friend. I have other friends and I think he respects and understands that. And he knows it’s an issue and ties it to being betrayed by friends in the past so he thinks—what’s the point? And also has a difficult time connecting with people. I don’t think he wants friends yet he knows he should engage in socialization. Any thoughts?

  • I’ve finally lost all of my sixth form friends (except for one shout out to her) but I still worried as she’s considering moving cities. I’m feel empty and lonely at the thought of not having friends going into my twenties

  • I just moved from CT to San Fransisco about a month ago and these tips are really helpful. I definitely recommend picking up a hobby, maybe something you did before, or something new. I joined a new dance studio when I moved out here and it is so nice to spend time with people who have similar interests. I haven’t made any lasting friends there yet but it is nice to walk in and see people I know. I would also say, don’t be afraid to wear merch/band tshirts, anything that represents your interests. I have Harry Potter earrings that have started 3 different conversations so far people like to comment on things they recognize so you know they have a shared interest with you!!

  • It was frustrating dealing with that LA mentality of “I have enough friends” and now I live in the south and though they’re friendly, they don’t let new people into their circle of friendships. This too is frustrating. What I’ve found out is that when I get involved with groups, the leaders are from out of state. I’ve lived in this state since 2005 and don’t have a single “close” female friend that is from this state and the female friends I had have moved out of state; job changes.

  • This video is very necessary and so true. I used to be the biggest “social butterfly,” and knew everyone, everywhere I went. Now, I’m 40, and a mom of an eight year old and don’t have many friends. I’ve realized that at this age, you tend to learn who your “true” friends are. And, it’s difficult to make friends when you’re a full time mom, employed full time, and has a husband who works 70 hours a week. I don’t go out for happy hour on Fridays with other couples, I don’t have a mommy play date group, I don’t have a mother’s group. I have two good friends who commiserate over our busy lives and enjoy the time that we have with each other!

  • I enjoy going to free community workout classes! They’re usually outside and pop-up workouts where a gym comes out and just hosts a free class. I made two friends just chatting to a couple of them after the workout and asking if they’d like to exchange numbers! It felt cheesy to ask, but I’m so glad I did because they’re great girls and we’re now friends.

  • Living in London makes this so much harder…either people are obsessed with social status, Post codes…or are either creepy or socially awkward.
    ��
    I never expect people in London to initiate a conversation…but I have some amazing stories������.

  • This was a great video. I so appreciate this topic, as I feel like it is intimidating/awkward to try to make new friends as an adult. Thank you for the tips and book recommendation.:) Love it!

  • I used too had friends, I used too was wealthy (because of parents), I used too was so confident and everything good… But then I moved out with boyfriend was then cut off from the money, then got depressed, and then addicted to narcotics because of the depression, so I gradually stopped hanging out with my friends because I wanted my friends to remember me as who I am not who I am now-depressed and sad. People say money doesn’t matter… That’s said by people who have never had it! At 20 years old I already had almost $200k in new cars and a 780 credit score-life was so great. After losing it, it’s like I lost myself, the money gave me confidence, it made me feel important. That probably sounds horrible-but it’s my truth. I’m trying to get my life back now, soon I’ll be starting a residential development company so I need to “find myself” and get my shi+ together. But I have no self confidence, self worth, love everything good about me for the most part has faded away-I don’t feel I have anything to bring to the table I still a good listener I guess you could say therapist vibe but I’ve became socially award. I feel like I’m a Debbie downer, and that is totally not who I want to be. I hope I can get better.

  • Eek Marie, almost 500K can’t believe I’ve been watching this since you were around 20,000, major growth these past two years! Early congrats to you and your stellar team:)

  • I don’t have trouble making friends with the people I do meet as an adult, but I legitimately meet a much smaller pool of people. Also, the worst part about adult friendships is much work has to happen on both sides to keep friendships going when people move away/on with life.

  • They call your adolescent years “formative”, and they do it for a reason. You weren’t just “friends”, you collectively developed your personalities. Later most young adults will have to work to differentiate themselves from the person they thought they were in middle school or in high school, or college. The relationships from childhood started with two (or more) pseudo-human self conscious blobs, and through years of shared experience you develop into actual people. It is hard for an adult to recreate the kind of shared experiences that young people have all the time. It is hard to compare to simultaneously going through puberty, or talking about your first date, sharing your first beer… getting caught with your first beer and getting in trouble together. I have plenty of good friends as an adult, but I think that the people asking how to make friends as an adult are hoping to recreate something from their childhood that is almost impossible.

    You should look to a partner, get married, go on vacations, have children, suffer through the death of your loved ones together. Before long you will have something very different but equally great.

  • I’ve loved connecting with other moms trough church, and then just having casual mom hangouts. I’ve also loved just starting conversations with different people on social media and becoming friends in that space as well!

  • This was a video I soooo needed!! I am a new mom and need mom friends bad! As I watched this video I downloaded a “meet mom’s near me” app and have made 2 new friends that I’m making plans with as I type this! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

  • I have recently lost my friends because of one toxic friendship that just ruined all the other ones. As a new mom, who just lost the few friends I had, it is really lonely. And I am the kind of person that just hates going anywhere alone (I live in France, and the French aren’t the most friendly to people being alone, I would just get weird stares more than anything). If anyone of you have any advice on how to feel better and how to move on and have friendships that will actually last, please do, I would really appreciate it..
    Wish everyone a great day! ��

  • Yeah I’m so tired of having no friends. I have no one to talk to it gets so lonely sometimes. I’m trying everything I can not to kill myself ��what’s the point of being alive

  • Thank you much for this well-timed video! In the next month I’ll be doing a cross-country move with my partner (she’s already at the new location). As a shy and introverted person, I have become sooo anxious that I won’t meet anyone and will feel isolated. Definitely ordering that book! And will also look at meetup groups in the area to start putting myself out there. This is one of my favorite videos from you, thank you!! ����

  • Wow, this completely describes my issue with making friends now that I’m an adult in a way that I hadn’t even consciously realized. Thank you as always, Hank, for being so thoughtful and deep with what you talk about in your videos.

  • My husband and I moved to Dallas Texas area and my husband was always a guy that could make friends easily in school and in his twenties but in his thirties all his friends have moved to a different state or died. I think he is getting lonely. He said he misses having guy friends he was a great football, baseball and basketball player but developed lung issues in his thirties and can no longer play sports at 41 years old. He also likes video gaming, Madden Sports and Final Fantasy. He recently learned chess, likes comedy shows, morning sports shows and likes to talk politics with people with different viewpoints. He is not into church and most of his past friends have been a little on the wild side although my husband is generally the quite one in the corner laughing and people watching and egging them on. Anyway, I’m just saying this so other guys out there know they are not alone. If anyone has any ideas that I can forward to him on ways to meet people that aren’t as awkward as speed dating like the extremely brave guy in this video let me know. Good luck

  • That guy just has a problem cutting through to meaningful conversation. literally what the psychologist guy told him. “be interested in people.” if you try to understand people on a deeper level, they will give you material to turn into meaningful conversation.

  • it’s almost impossible to make male friends, especially in your 40s when everyone is married and popping out children and busy with work. they just are not interested.

  • I love this video and how it put people/comments together! you and your words are so sweet and helpful, amazing you! I never had many friends, I have decided to join a course to give me a chance!

  • The easiest way to make friends as an adult is join a dating sate under false pretenses and win that person over in a non romantic way.

  • I don’t want to be friends with boring people and feel like I have to be boring with them.. I want someone who matches my personality

  • What’s the point of friendship if we’re not gonna be making each other laugh, have fun, and insult each other in good fun? Fuck a pretentious friendship bruh

  • Good advice, but implementing it is the hard part. Long ago I read a survey that noted that men tend to make very few friends after they leave school (whether high school or college). Based on my experience, that’s largely true. Why do women make friends more easily?

  • I always used to be open minded to meet new people until that one time I almost was murdered…
    Be careful with making friends folks!

  • the hardest part is that im still at school, so if the conversation fizzle out you stilll gonna meet that person for next few years

  • I am very glad to know this is an average problem to guys because I find out that I just go for friends which has been known for years, knowing new people is very challenging.

  • This is really refreshing. I’ve graduated college and moved to a new city alone and I have found it SO hard to make friends when you don’t just have peers around you all the time. Especially because I’m young working in healthcare and all my coworkers are a lot older than me. I have my dogs and I’m really active with them hiking all the time, but I’m so lonely. I miss being surrounded by friends, but I literally don’t know how to make new ones as an adult ):

  • Me and my “bff” used to hangout everyday we argued sometimes But we Got over it. But now shes hanging out with our other friend and i havent heard of them in the past 2 days. I have had this felling that I Just need a New friend for a long time now.

  • This isn’t easy as it seems and I try a lot and I ask questions but people don’t seem interested to form a friendship. I’m thinking about volunteering so does anyone know how to make a good friend as volunteering and where should I volunteer where I can meet people everyday I’m from surrey. And does anyone have tips on talking to someone to become friends and how to know if the person is interested.

  • I’m 27 and have no friends but I have severe anxiety and don’t go out alone. so my issue is I don’t get into situations where I can talk to someone

  • To all who are feeling lonely at the moment. I want to create a group on Instagram. To talk about your own personal problems, possibly to find friends etc. If anyone is interested, just ask. Don’t be shy <3

  • I’m 35 and I have no friends not even at work. They tell me I’m stupid and don’t want a person with special needs so I text myself and just lonely

  • Your voice is beautiful! Thank you for the tips! I feel like it is important for me to connect with people from an empowered place because friendship is way too intimate for me.. That needs good conditions to be free to respect and support each other..
    First fall in love with self life and share that same love… Nothing else…

  • The first advice sounds dreadful for me, I’m scared of introducing myself to ONE person most of the times, ha. The easiest way for me to start a conversation with someone is to really be interested in them and feel I’ll be safe in “their hands”.
    Like, if I see a person who I can relate to, joke about something, complement and they won’t roll their eyes.
    The last thing can leave me feeling scared for months.

  • I have recently lost my friends because of one toxic friendship that just ruined all the other ones. As a new mom, who just lost the few friends I had, it is really lonely. And I am the kind of person that just hates going anywhere alone (I live in France, and the French aren’t the most friendly to people being alone, I would just get weird stares more than anything). If anyone of you have any advice on how to feel better and how to move on and have friendships that will actually last, please do, I would really appreciate it..
    Wish everyone a great day! ��

  • What about those who you meet up with and then you text them to say nice to meet up perhaps we can do this again then they respond after 2 weeks I find that rude and then when they respond they expect you to get excited. It takes 2 to form a relationship and part of getting to know someone is to chat on text from time to time. I hate these types. Its exhausting saying so how have you been then after 2 weeks you get a completely different response hahahaha! Ditch the bitch!

  • ibf anyone?
    im 14 
    likes to ft 
    has tiktok,snap,insta,messges,roblox
    im just basic that all
    please be my ibf all my friends fake lol:(

  • I literally haven’t spoken to another person that’s not my family for almost 5 months. I’m so lonely and depressed, I only wish I could talk to someone, make friends, anything but being lonely:(

  • can anyone please give advice on small talk/ making conversation when you don’t really know the other person? how do I input to a conversation that I can’t really relate to? I really struggle with this and I’m still in school. I hang out with a group of girls but im very quiet and they seem to not want to be friends with me. if were getting lunch for example, they’ll just walk away as if im not even there. I know it sounds petty but id really appreciate any advice possible xxx

  • I feel This I am 21 and about to graduate form college and all my high school friends and I have our on life I have a really incredible boyfriend put i really need to put my self out there and make some girl friends.

  • I def find it hard to maintain friends. I meet them and then after a few months of so they disappear. I try to send sweet text saying hello and let’s catch up but a lot of times it goes in replied or they don’t get back to me until days later and say no.

  • I struggle with making friends. Often times I feel like I never fit in, or cant keep up a conversation. Then I would make just superficial conversations but I will never let someone get close to me in friendship. I think my biggest fear is rejection or being acknowledged as “boring”

  • I’ve never had close friends, I’m 47. I can’t bond with other women or men for that matter Am I just a horrible person??? seriously I’m so ridiculously lonely.

  • Idk I just feel so lonely sometimes. I live with my boyfriend and I love him and he loves me. But that’s basically it. My cousins where my friends before I dated my BF but I have never felt 100% comfortable with them. They all are really outgoing and active people, really beautiful and everyone loved them, while I would stand beside them smile, hoping they would somehow try to say something about me to. But they just startet joking about me, saying I just don‘t look like the girl that people would find attractive since I have a different style of clothing and I was chubby. This happened over and over again and after I started dating they just seemed to not like it. And we started distancing.
    I mean I have friends, but I got to know them from my bf. I only see the, when we’re in groups. I don‘t have like a serious person who I can trust and know that they keep secrets, stay supportive and honest. Yes I know my BF is someone i ALWAYS can talk to, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone else. Idk is it selfish? Other people have literally no one, yet here I am with a loving person wanting more.
    I also feel like I possibly could be the toxic person. And if I’m not, then I really have a special mindset.
    Also People who get to know me seem to really like me. But more then a friendship while having school or work just doesn’t work out. It‘s so weird to describe it.

  • a good friend date i had was checking out beyondthestreets gallery in brooklyn on a saturday and then going to smorgasburg in east river state park

  • Women are always against each other if they’re not against each other they’re competing against each other I’ve never been like that it starts in middle school and it only gets worse

  • Im 25
    A single mom
    Never really had true friends growing up
    Wanted to always have that certain girl group but nope never happened
    Even till this day i still wish i can connect with people out there butit always seems they’re never interested in me so idk its kinda tiring and u yourself is always the one doing the effort and u dont get the same in return I honestly just gave up
    And idk maybe im better off alone

  • What I hate the most is when I try to make plans with someone and they act busy on you 2 straight times…at that point I stop asking and we never reconnect

  • I’m very introverted. My bff got bored and left me. I have 2 other “friends” but I always feel left out. I feel so lonely��
    I went to a party about two months ago and I was alone eating my donut. The people there asked: Why don’t you go to your friends and have fun?
    I told them I was about to go to them because I was too ashamed to tell them that I actually don’t have friends.

    Sorry, english isn’t my first language��

  • It’s impossible for me to make friends since everyone in the state I live in can’t accept the fact that I don’t want kids and because no one here shares my interests. People that are ok with me not wanting kids and that share my interests always live 5 or more hours away from me so hanging out with people in nearby states isn’t an option. So I won’t have friends until I move.

  • I haven’t had one girlfriend since I was 14. I’m 21 now. I’m not sure why I can’t make friends. I have reached out. I’ve gone on Instagram hashtags and tried to build relationships with girls near me and nothing seems to work. I’m so lonely and sad. It’s breaking my heart and I feel so unliked ��

  • I am late on this video. I recently moved from NJ to TX. That is approximately 1600 miles distance. I haven’t had any luck meeting friends here. I keep contact with my mom and family and friends in NJ and spend time with my fiance because he is here with me. I am home on my own alot because my fiance works and I don’t. To keep myself occupied I write in my journal. My journal is my best friend. My advice is be your own best friend. This sounds weird but it really helps. If you love you and write letters to yourself you’re never truly alone. I am almost never lonely because I journal so much. I have never been good at making friends and have been journaling for 27 years. My journal keeps me company. Feel free to laugh at me. ��

  • This caused me to have a lot of thoughts. And I’m not sure I fully agree. Partially, I’m a little uncomfy with the word “value” applied to humans, but I get what you’re saying and I’m not sure of a better word right now. So I agree that part of the root problem is how we “value” others. If we see people we don’t know as unimportant or unneeded in our lives, then friendship is not going to happen. But I think there’s far more going on in friendship and maintaining friendships than that. Like a huge part of how I live out my faith is the core belief that every single person has the same innate value because every single person is an image-bearer of God, is reflective of God. So, though it takes work to authentically live this out, I (at least try) to value every person I encounter but don’t have a desire to forge close friendships with every person I meet.

    All that to say, I think there’s something else going on that makes adult friendships in our culture hard. I believe part of this is the hyper-individualism of western culture. I think that western culture is so focused in on the individual and what you yourself has experienced and how independent you can be, that we’ve forgotten to rely one another. We attempt to be independent and forget to be vulnerable. In my, albeit limited, experience people are deeply communal and crave not just intimacy with other individuals, but true belonging in a group or groups of other people. American culture has, for the most part, developed in a way that makes that kind of community (even communities in religious settings) hard to come by and hard to grow.

  • Hey!! Dm me if you’re lonely @onmyown372 I’m 18, girl, I love sketching (mostly dark and deep) I love kpop and I’m obsessed with psychology and mental illness

  • I too don’t have friends any close friends, no relatives. being alone everytime its so hard and painful, i use to cry a lot. ���������������� Hate this life. priya from india

  • This is ironic to me cuz it seems like many girls/women don’t even want friends…or they’re very selective in who they befriend. And you should be but I’ve noticed as an attractive female it’s hard to make female friends cuz they’re always threatened by u, even if you’re the nicest, most supportive person, it still doesn’t matter. Girls/women will hate u & keep u at an arms length.

  • I think the fact that I am researching this topic officially marks my touchdown on rock bottom of my existence. Nowhere to go but up now

  • Thank you for making this video. It’s okay to say your single and looking or date and go on dating apps. Why is it seen weird or not socially acceptable to say “looking for friends or the best friends” lol
    I have been trying to make girl friends for three years and I’m have made many virtual friendships that fade away because we never meet and hang out In Person. UGH!!
    I’m in the LA, California area (: haha

  • You find it difficult because you are more attractive than most girls….They envy your looks. Women do this a lot actually, Ive been seeing this since I was like 10 years old.

  • I’m putting myself out there…Who lives in the south Florida area & wants to be my friend dammit?! I’m a female, in my 30’s, I’m a pharmacist, I love traveling & building meaningful relationships, it’s just hard to get that reciprocated back in a consistent manner! Not only that, there is a level of chemistry you need to have in order for it all to work. sigh Who knew getting older would come with these obstacles!? Anyone interested email me! [email protected] gmail.com🙂

  • I’m a guy
    and I have friends but still feel alone��
    I don’t have a desire for my life.
    and i have never felt that i have a soul dude that i can trust him totally and share with him everything��

  • I have a theory that social media and movies today give us an unrealistic expectation of what friendships should be like, so when our own friendships with others don’t measure up it leaves us feeling inadequate.

  • I’ve recently moved to a big city, so I’m feeling all these feels right now!! Also a moment of deepening friendship was when a pal and I sat in a park in London and read each other’s natal charts and told each other our life stories basically. This pal has very intimate friendships, and I’m really lucky to be a part of one!

  • That a very hard to feel you haven’t any friends I really think about it and I created a new account to maybe get it better my page is for talking and find some friends so take a look if you want ❤️

  • Well I know this is a Girl Talk but it’s hard for me to make friends because people think I’m a bad person since I am from Afghanistan since my country is a warland

  • This video came exactly at the right time for me. I’ve been so down the past few days because I just finished my Master’s in London (originally from the states), so only a year ago I was in a position of needing to make a whole new friend group because I moved to a new city across the world. But, over the course of the year I made so many strong female friendships. Now, pretty much all of my friend group has moved all over the world for their careers after graduating, so I feel like I’m starting all over again but in a worse position because I don’t have the help of uni to meet people… Feeling so down about it, but I have downloaded Bumble BFF after watching this video and hoping to meet new girlfriends that way! Thanks Ingrid <3

  • I don’t have any friends because I was bed ridden from trauma and developed fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue problems. They all called me crazy and that I needed mental help.

  • 1. Living in a densly populated area helps vs somewhere thats spread out like houston.
    2. Try being an interesting person. Have hobbies like the gym or interests like exotic pets.. that way you can bond over people w common interests

  • It’s impossible for me to make friends since everyone in the state I live in can’t accept the fact that I don’t want kids and because no one here shares my interests. People that are ok with me not wanting kids and that share my interests always live 5 or more hours away from me so hanging out with people in nearby states isn’t an option. So I won’t have friends until I move.

  • My very very first Bumble BFF date I found one of my best friends!! We met last May and we see each other almost every week. Honestly 10/10 I was so nervous but when we couldn’t stop chatting over the app we decided it was worth it to take the risk to meet! And then we hardly stopped talking on our friend date!

  • I live abroad and literally I have no friends here… I have a girlfriend here but it still feels extremely lonely and I just don’t know why…

  • Bumble BFF has worked really really well for me!!! Everyone on that part of the app is looking for friends so they’re in the same mind set. I met a few cool girls and then I invited them all on a Wednesday (the key is to not have this on a weekend) to have a craft night at my house and now we’re all best friends!!!

  • Ive been 3 years post college with the realization that a lot of the friendships I’ve held on to were solely based on longevity and not on quality. Now that I realized this I’ve accepted that I need to distance myself from these people because they don’t value me as much as I valued them/our friendship. I feel like this has been damn near what all my relationships have been (with the exception of 2-3 friends I know I can rely on, but they’re either far or working 24/7 so I barely see them). Starting anew and trying to meet people post-college AND with the added obstacle of social anxiety has really made it difficult and makes me feel like I’m set to feel lonely or lacking in strong relationships for as long as I’m alive:/

  • I have a twin and we both feel lonely sometimes ����‍♀️ you just need other relationships, but I’m really in a drought with friends at the moment����‍♀️ it’ll get better ����‍♀️

  • Just graduated from university, having a hard time finding work and feeling really disconnected from the world outside of my family life… I just feel drained by nothing. Girls are really really difficult to connect with for me it seems. I feel like I’m a good girlfriend in romantic relationships, but friends have always been hard to sustain. I dunno, I feel like it’s just a “me” issue but odds are it’s not. I’m off Instagram and Twitter Facebook etc, because I wanted to be more grounded in the world… but it kinda of made me feel less present.

  • I’m 28 and have been feeling super sad about losing my friends over the last 5 years. I chose to break up with quite a big group of friends after sticking by their bullying ways for years but I’ve never been able to find genuine friendships ever since then.
    I’m from London in the U.K. but I’m so open to being friends with new people on here as it’s such a lonely place without friends:(

  • I started being friends with heroine addicts, because they are more human, vulnerable and they have more time than most humans. But that wasnt a good idea:-/

  • I feel like guys are so much easier to get along with, with girls I find there to be quite a bit of bitchyness. All of my friends recently fell out with me as one of them lied and now they’ve all turned there back on me so but now I’m finding it hard to find new friends.

  • Q. How would someone who has been a lifetime teetotaler make friends? When you think how much of life is surrounded by alcohol and how much socializing does too -take for example 3 main soaps Corrie,Eastenders and Emmerdale -all based mainly around a pub.It’s not just pubs it’s a big part of most peoples lives,wedding,birthdays,meals or just at home.Of course there are many places to start that doesn’t involve alcohol but somewhere it will turn up it’s almost impossible to avoid in most situations.

  • I wish I could make new friends at 37 to replace the toxic ones I made in my late teens and early 20’s who all turned out to have personality disorders and covertly made me their abuse toy. A decade of my life wasted on those animals.

  • Terrible assessment. That’s not why it’s hard to make friends as an adult. As an adult you only have so much free time that you could spend with friends, usually a few hours a week, or less. So you aren’t going to waste that time on anyone who isn’t like yourself. And on top of that you have to somehow sift through people to find someone that’s enough like you that you’re willing to give up your free time to spend with them. Kids have all the time in the world and no responsibilities, so it’s easy for them to invest their limitless time into people that aren’t like them. They can make a new crop of friends every week.

  • I am 40, back then i have 5 best friends. Now they all have children and busy working. If anyone here feels the same and wants to talk or be my friend pls chat.

  • 2:12 If thinking other people are a big deal and caring what they think about you matters is the basis of friendship, maybe that’s why I’ve never been good at friendship, even as a child. Except for when I was very insecure in middle school, I’ve never thought other people were a big deal (they are just other humans) and I don’t care what people’s opinion of me is.

  • Don’t know if you will see this or address this particular problem, but I would love if you talked about what to do if your partner doesn’t have any friends. Like, I’m his only friend. I have other friends and I think he respects and understands that. And he knows it’s an issue and ties it to being betrayed by friends in the past so he thinks—what’s the point? And also has a difficult time connecting with people. I don’t think he wants friends yet he knows he should engage in socialization. Any thoughts?

  • Its like why Dogs always wanna make friends, they’re like ‘omg you’re a dog? Im also a dog?? Friends now’
    It’s the same with kids, as a kid you’re usually surrounded by adults so when you see another kid it’s like ‘omg??ur a kid, I’m a kid too? You like Pokemon/barbies/cartoons too???’ As adults we’re just so used to seeing other adults we don’t view everyone as a potential friend the way we used to.
    Also as a kid everything’s about play. When you’re an adult you’ve just got other things going on you’re not so focused on making friends all the time

  • Trying to make friends is such a miserable experience, I find it exhausting and not very fruitful.
    But on the other hand, spending life alone is another world of pain on its own.
    Why are things this difficult…?

  • Wow, this completely describes my issue with making friends now that I’m an adult in a way that I hadn’t even consciously realized. Thank you as always, Hank, for being so thoughtful and deep with what you talk about in your videos.

  • When I moved from Utah from Arkansas for college, my mom got REALLY upset if I did not talk to her every. single. day. She’s backed off a bit since I got married, but I can agree that it made me kind of resent her because I was obviously very busy.

  • I don’t like having friends but I do like making new friends, but I don’t want them to be my friend. I don’t get myself, me myself is confused.

  • What i good video. I stayed home from church today. I told my husband to go ahead work the kids because I’m not feeling good. I was going to go kill myself in the backyard. I’m so lonely and i feel it must be because I’m such a piece of garbage that even at church i feel like an outsider. Something told me, hey go grab your best and only friend the phone and maybe you’ll find am answer. I typed how do i make friends I’m an adult. And here’s this video. I thought the guy looked friendly. The kind of guy that wouldn’t make fun of me to make others laugh. And it was so lovely and simple and gave me a new perspectiveon my situation. I feel good enough to try again.

  • I made a few good friends when I was young, but I did not make friends easily. It took a while for me to make my first female friend (who was just a friend) no I did not try to make “those kinds of friends” (f*** buddies) as a young teenage man.

  • Bumble BFF has worked really really well for me!!! Everyone on that part of the app is looking for friends so they’re in the same mind set. I met a few cool girls and then I invited them all on a Wednesday (the key is to not have this on a weekend) to have a craft night at my house and now we’re all best friends!!!

  • I also think that most adult lives are not structured to create conditions where friendship can thrive. As kids, you spend all day at school doing the same activities as your peers. You have the time needed to get to know your peers, and a mutual bond. Children share similar interests more easily, since playing games, toys, and cartoons are near universal for kids. Any kid can see any other kid and be near certain they can find common ground.

    As adults, we may spend a fair amount of time near our coworkers….but for many professions most of that time is spent socializing with customers rather than coworkers…or nose deep in the work that needs doing. Even in careers that are more team oriented, professionalism sucks genuineness out of social interactions. After work, we go right home. We don’t have the time needed to genuinely get to know people. Our interests in movies and hobbies get more specific. An adult who loves sports will have to work harder to connect with another adult that loves painting.

    My experience was that in 2 years seeing my workers at my office job, I didn’t meet anyone I was close enough to that I wanted to invite to hang out after work. In the 6 months I’ve been training kung fu in China? I’ve made dozens of deep bonds that I would travel the world to maintain. The key to making friends as an adult? Do something you’re passionate about on a regular basis in the same place, with other people who are passionate about it. In a relaxed environment where people are free to be themselves.

  • I think it really has to do with how we conceptualize community. I think that in most (capitalist) countries the nuclear family is the main unit. The emphasis we have on romantic love, coupled with a 40hr + work week, supports a structure where most people have time for their job, and less emotional energy ready to give to others (which is often taken up with their romantic partner). So people outside of this paradigm find it hard to make friends, and people inside the paradigm will be less likely to search out or try to find others. I think we gotta reconceptualize what community looks like!

  • The devaluation of friendship by adults is one of the thing that makes me saddest in my life. Got lied to by all those found families stories I read I guess.

  • Dang dude! This is a beautiful video!

    My brain works kind of like Hank’s does to so I think I follow and I just really like talking about it thoughtfully.
    Like he said, understanding it better.

  • I ditched all my childhood “friends” because they always seemed to prefer other friends over me, and would flake out when they found someone to date. But now as a 40-something heterosexual man, it’s so hard making male friends. I just want an activity or occasional travel partner that has some semblance of a moral character. I’m smart, witty, not a prude, and can talk about almost anything. The times I’ve tried, I run into: 1. Men who are broke and you have to pay their way. 2. Men who want to chase women all day and night. 3. Men who smoke 420, drink too much, or do recreational drugs. 4. Men who have gf or wives and feel like they need to be up under them every second, and act like neutered choir boys when they’re away from them. 5. Gay men who claim to be looking for just friends but fantasize about converting you (craigslist). I don’t know the last time I actually trusted a guy friend.

  • I’m so happy that you’re talking about this. When I first moved to Manhattan, I also didn’t know anyone and my first six months in New York were painful, lonely, and full of missed connections. It was only when I made close friends that the city opened up for me and I stopped debating whether I should just move back home. I started a company called More to make it so that no-one needs to go through half a year of wanting to leave the city before they can begin taking advantage of the amazing people and moments it has to offer so that anyone can begin making meaningful connections and memories as soon as their feet touch down on NY ground <3

  • I really appreciate the alternate to sending Christmas cards that Esther Day provides: a day in summer to snail-mail expressions of platonic love to friends & family when it is unexpected and can really be taken in by the receiver. I think I’ve said before: I can’t really say I love Hank or John or Nerdfighters in general (except my fellow Nerdfightin’ husband:) ) but I surely do appreciate, like, respect and care about you guys. Thank you for all you do.

  • IMO, it’s easier to make friends when you’re a kid because you’re stuck in a box all day every weekday with people who have (approximately) the same amount of power as you. As soon as either 1) you’re not forced to see each other constantly or 2) there is a power imbalance, friendships become almost impossible to form. I was super awkward and weird but I made friends in school just by dint of seeing them everyday. I was able to make friends at work for the same reason. Now that I work from home, I have… one friend?

    I do understand the idea of not valuing people as much, though. When you’re still in the box, you have to make do with what you’ve got (and you’d better not make enemies or you’re stuck with them for 4-12 years). Once you’re out of the ‘box’, and you can theoretically make friends with anyone, it’s easy to discard people and be discarded and pretend that’s okay.

  • Okay but how do you find friends to value? My biggest issue is figuring out how to say “I really want to be your friend” without being weird.

  • This VOX article is exactly on how to prioritize your friends and agrees with you Hank! “None of my closest friendships were forged solely because we had so much in common or it was convenient. It was because we prioritized each other. When we had options — and there are always, always options — we chose each other more often than we didn’t. There have been times when people I didn’t think were close friends showed up for me when I didn’t expect it, and that’s what deepened our friendships.”
    https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/8/16/17694356/how-to-make-friends-adulthood

  • I’m 20, currently my 3rd year at University and haven’t made any close friends. Probably just a couple distant aquitsnces, I say yes to every invite and try to go to every event but never any luck… I find myself alone most of the time, what makes it worse I go to a huge party school every parties except I’m not much of a party person. Been there a few times but I just stood there like an idiot. Ahhhhhh regardless, great video Hank!

  • Meeting new male friends outside of the workplace and building a meaningful relationship with them I find to be the single most difficult thing in life. When you have a gf, your options are generally just to make male friends. When you are the boss at work, that knocks out the prospects of developing a relationship within the workplace. So, being a male boss with a gf and someone who couldn’t care less about sports (other than MMA at times) has resulted in genuine loneliness. The few things I have found to be helpful is discussing things like personal investment, politics, and physical fitness at the gym. When discussing personal finance, this usually isolates the recipient because of an implied class difference. Today more than ever discussing politics (my version of sports) outside of joining a political party within the community is more divisive than not. Anyone have an suggestions?

  • Earlier this year my best friend of 20 years decided that she no longer valued me. It has been tough. It’s made me hesitant in the friendships that I have remaining. She laid out for me all of the reasons why our friendship no longer worked. The thing is, all of those things have been things for many years. So, how long has she wanted to abandon our friendship? Do my current friends want to abandon our friendship? Are they only remaining friends with me because they feel like they have to? These are the questions that invade my brain even more so now. My friend decided she did not value me enough to make time for me. And all of the things I value about myself were road blocks for her. So, how do I get over that insecurity & push myself to work on the friendships that I have remaining & also make new ones?

  • I’m late, but I don’t care, I’m gonna say it anyway, Happy Esther Day. And thank you, Hank, for this kind of video on the channel. I am 25, and I work hard to value people around me, yet it’s been so hard to get the value from them like they don’t take time to know me well. DFTBA, as usual.

  • I just moved to a small city and there is nothing going on here… how am I supposed to make friends…. I also have different work times everyday so I can’t join anything like clubs etc

  • I printed out the Compare-schalger and put it on my vision board, now looks like I’ll be adding “Interesting” perfume to that board now too haha

  • I really needed this. I just moved in Chicago and making friends in hard. My advice is to be open, kind and look out for opportunities to connect with people! Thanks Ingrid! ����

  • Pretty much. I occasionally find people I think would be awesome, true friends. I make them a priority in a similar way as when I was growing up-like seeing each other more than a few times a year, and actually talking about what we care about-but so often the problem I’ve had since people hit puberty is that dating relations come first, and everyone else slowly becomes an acquaintance. Often family is up there with the romantic partner. Basically, I hit the wall between acquaintance and a proper friend, or I was a friend and I got pushed out. The relationship stays or becomes superficial. They lose interest in the interests we had in common, or if I met them as an adult with a common interest the interest is limited to work or a hobby that’s below their family and romantic interest priorities (so I still end up on the fringe of their life), and if I hang out with them they just talk about and do generic things. There’s no effort to connect. After a while I stop trying, and without my initiatives the interactions we were having dies. I’m asexual, so I can’t really do what everyone else does and make a romantic partner my priority and stable relationship in life. It’s gotten to point that I’m actually happier focusing on other things and be okay with casually socializing on occasion instead of failed attempts at something natural and meaningful.

  • Great video. I think another challenge to make friends as an adult is not having endless hours of unstructured time to just hang out like we did when we were kids. Being bored, laying in our rooms talking, were the times when those early friendships were formed. Finding or making hang-out time is harder as an adult, especially after becoming a parent.

  • Everyone I’ve ever known who’s had lots of friends as an adult has gone out of their way to work hard at it. They remember birthdays, random things you told them about your lives, and reach out to make plans. I think that it takes a lot more effort as an adult sometimes and often we’re waiting for someone to do this work. Just do it, you have nothing to lose.

  • Hello Hank. I’m currently attending uni (short for university; I think that’s an Aussie thing (sort for Australian… (moving on))) as a mature aged student and this has been on my mind a lot too. Thanks for making this video. From Christina.

  • Thanks. Thinking more in-depth about the question did help. I needed this its so much better then the quick shallow advice about joining more groups of people.

  • This caused me to have a lot of thoughts. And I’m not sure I fully agree. Partially, I’m a little uncomfy with the word “value” applied to humans, but I get what you’re saying and I’m not sure of a better word right now. So I agree that part of the root problem is how we “value” others. If we see people we don’t know as unimportant or unneeded in our lives, then friendship is not going to happen. But I think there’s far more going on in friendship and maintaining friendships than that. Like a huge part of how I live out my faith is the core belief that every single person has the same innate value because every single person is an image-bearer of God, is reflective of God. So, though it takes work to authentically live this out, I (at least try) to value every person I encounter but don’t have a desire to forge close friendships with every person I meet.

    All that to say, I think there’s something else going on that makes adult friendships in our culture hard. I believe part of this is the hyper-individualism of western culture. I think that western culture is so focused in on the individual and what you yourself has experienced and how independent you can be, that we’ve forgotten to rely one another. We attempt to be independent and forget to be vulnerable. In my, albeit limited, experience people are deeply communal and crave not just intimacy with other individuals, but true belonging in a group or groups of other people. American culture has, for the most part, developed in a way that makes that kind of community (even communities in religious settings) hard to come by and hard to grow.

  • I have friends it’s just I found myself feeling awkward around them and when they do talk to me I get uncomfortable and look away from there face to not make eye contact but still talk to them. I use to be comfortable with them and have fun with them but not anymore and I don’t know why.

  • Wow, that’s so funny, told a good friend that too without even knowing the context of the day (last week now). Hope it made their day better!

  • How about, as we go along in life, we see and are amongst so may folks that we needn’t interact with. We get used to not interacting with. If we try to have relationships with so many folks, we’d go mad. So default becomes ignore. And we get used to tending to our own needs in a crowd

  • Great examples and helpful to get started, thought I might be the only one who would want to see a friend at least once a week if not more.

  • Thank you so much for making this! I moved to NYC 8 years ago for college, and unfortunately, after college, most of my friends left the city and I also was working at a new company. For a couple years, my girlfriend was truly one of my only friends (as well as one of her close friends but we didn’t see her much). I started a book club in January and have since made some new friends and have found the tips you mentioned to be really helpful. One of the things I’m nervous about is wondering when it will get to the point that some of us are really comfortable with each other and truly are best friends. Also, going to use some of these tips to continue meeting people and finding other friends. I think especially in longer-term relationships, it’s important to have platonic relationships as well and I’ve seen in just the past months how healthy this has been for us to meet new people!

  • They call your adolescent years “formative”, and they do it for a reason. You weren’t just “friends”, you collectively developed your personalities. Later most young adults will have to work to differentiate themselves from the person they thought they were in middle school or in high school, or college. The relationships from childhood started with two (or more) pseudo-human self conscious blobs, and through years of shared experience you develop into actual people. It is hard for an adult to recreate the kind of shared experiences that young people have all the time. It is hard to compare to simultaneously going through puberty, or talking about your first date, sharing your first beer… getting caught with your first beer and getting in trouble together. I have plenty of good friends as an adult, but I think that the people asking how to make friends as an adult are hoping to recreate something from their childhood that is almost impossible.

    You should look to a partner, get married, go on vacations, have children, suffer through the death of your loved ones together. Before long you will have something very different but equally great.

  • Staying connected with family far away isn’t always hard. Just share your life, randomly, share what your thinking about and what is going on with the rest of your family. We use messenger a lot sending pictures, articles, virtual hugs and everything else. Yep it’s easy when you know you’re valued.

  • How can you make friends when you’ve got a bad reputation and a gullible community and a corrupt workforce and corrupt armed forces?

  • Wow. This is great. I just watched the video now, but i makes me understand myself so much better.
    I always had trouble creating a deep friendship with someone, of course you would talk about stuff but not feelings or yourself personally.

    Just a few days ago i met this awesome girl and from the first hour or two we talked it was different, and i think it is because I changed over the course of the last weeks and months. I appreciate other people and their lives more and i have a deeper desire to talk about more than just stuff.

    This helped me understand what was different this time. Thank you, i really like content like this, keep doing it, you are awesome.

  • This makes so much sense to me! Ive always found it fairly easy to make friends as an adult and thats because when i meet a person (usually a cool person because people are neet) im like “oh wow this person is really awesome and i value them and i want them to be my friend!” maybe thats why its never been hard for me???

  • It’s also hard to make friends in a healthy way as an adult diverging off of what you said about the intrinsic value that young kids have in each other when your own self talk devalues you, because then you come to the table thinking that you have little/less to offer to a friend-relation-ship, and then may compensate by trying to continuously make excessive contributions or fear saying “no” to the other person even when it’s a perfectly acceptable response based on your time and resources, and then may become concerned as to why the other person in the friendship doesn’t respond in-kind even if they are contributing a good amount to the friendship and it’s only by comparison that the relationship is imbalanced. You may become anxious or start to burn out, and all the while the other person may want to help, but has absolutely no idea when/how this all got started.
    Or maybe that’s just me, but its something I have actively had to work on in adult friendships.

  • Pretty much. I occasionally find people I think would be awesome, true friends. I make them a priority in a similar way as when I was growing up-like seeing each other more than a few times a year, and actually talking about what we care about-but so often the problem I’ve had since people hit puberty is that dating relations come first, and everyone else slowly becomes an acquaintance. Often family is up there with the romantic partner. Basically, I hit the wall between acquaintance and a proper friend, or I was a friend and I got pushed out. The relationship stays or becomes superficial. They lose interest in the interests we had in common, or if I met them as an adult with a common interest the interest is limited to work or a hobby that’s below their family and romantic interest priorities (so I still end up on the fringe of their life), and if I hang out with them they just talk about and do generic things. There’s no effort to connect. After a while I stop trying, and without my initiatives the interactions we were having dies. I’m asexual, so I can’t really do what everyone else does and make a romantic partner my priority and stable relationship in life. It’s gotten to point that I’m actually happier focusing on other things and be okay with casually socializing on occasion instead of failed attempts at something natural and meaningful.

  • i’m only in college but it feels like everyone i try to befriend seems to have better things to do and existing friends they’d rather be with. i don’t know how to market myself as a friend:(

  • I’m not sure I agree with Hank for the reason people have difficulty make friends in adulthood. I don’t think it is difficulty in valuing other people, but simply a lack of repeated social activities with others other than work, and co-workers often don’t share your recreational social preferences.

    My advice for making friends as an adult: join some Meetup groups (or similar) centered around activities you are interested in and attend a few of their events. Scheduled events around a pre-specified activity not only assure you have at least some common interest in other participants, but also provides a structure for initial interactions, which can ease the awkwardness of meeting new people. Become a regular at one or two you enjoy most. You will likely develop friendships naturally out of these situations.

  • It’s very easy to make new friends as a guy.
    All you have to do is tell a hot girl that you love her, and then she’ll say “oh, let’s just be friends…”

  • Oh gosh, I feel like I so agree with Hank. Scheduling to talk on Skype with my parents is the best thing I did since I went to college. A hell lot less nagging from my mum and less resentment from me.

  • Do people really find making friends harder as an adult? I didn’t have any friends at all for the first ten years of my life, and hardly any until college, then in my first year of college I gained like 20 friends.

  • I always found it strange that they only say they love each other once a year… I tell my brother I love him pretty much every time I speak to him.

  • Maintaining genuine interest in people? Like, you don’t have to be super hyped about idk, skeet shooting, Irish fiddle music, or textile weaving, but being able to listen to a person discuss things they are passionate about really helps with the investment in the other person’s life. Plus, who knows, you might secretly be an Ace Tin Whistle player, and suddenly you are in a celtic folk band.

  • I think you forgot a really important point, it’s to be friend with yourself first (like Tyler Durden lol jk); if you go out and address people while being uneasy with yourself they’ll look at you as if you were desperate for company… unfortunately they will not riposte positively in a way of helping you but they’ll see you as a lonely nerd who has never experienced friendship before (90% of the time because there are still decent folks out there).

  • I used to be like that…Just go ahead and start a conversation with people…Over the years, I’ve swayed away from that practice, as people are sometimes mean and have unpredictable responses. I just can’t!

  • After struggling finding friends as an adult, I started connecting to people via my dog. I’m in dog walking fb groups and it’s so easy to meet up with people because they have to go on walks anyways and you have something to talk about, so it isn’t awkward at all.

  • I don’t like having friends but I do like making new friends, but I don’t want them to be my friend. I don’t get myself, me myself is confused.

  • Great tips:) I’m an extrovert and I don’t have a problem talking about what I do (and everything else). But I am isolated because of my health and the distance to like-minded people. For someone as social as me, that sucks at times

  • Thinking about our common mortality and how little difference there is between humans and colonies of bacteria makes me feel better about having almost no friends.

  • I find it hard to make friends. I love gaming, horror movies and action movies and art. It seems like where I live most girls aren’t interested in those topics. They look down on me because I love gaming. I wish I had a real gamer girl friend or even an art friend to draw with. It’s really difficult, I always end up being friends with guys more than girls.

  • You guys living in your own countries are so lucky lol
    Just talk to people, It’s hard for the first 2 seconds but once the other person starts talking back it’s like talking to people you already now (mom, friends, etc..)
    Now, I live in a foreign country where i don’t speak the local language and not everyone speaks English. That’s HARD hahaha

  • My life is so messed up none of my friends text me or ask me if i wanna go out with them, and with my social anxiety its not easy to meet new ppl…

  • any one wanna b my friend?
    quote: club penguin 2006
    forreal? anyone?
    oh wait sorry, didnt c the quote of the vid:
    anyone need a friend?

  • lol my friends dont hangout with me because I’ve made my image too untouchable kinda guy who jokes around but dont take jokes on him, i hope y’all relate

  • Hello, I am moving from a big City to a small town. In the city it is pretty easy to make new friends just by going to the the local park or bar or even talking to people online but I find small towns to be more reserved and close knit. What are some things I can do to make new friends there and how should I go about it? Im a pretty forward friendly guy but im thinking that maybe I should not seek out people and just let people come to me if they want to but im not sure. Any advice?

  • The problem is that I have really good friends at school, but I’m too shy to text them because I find myself annoying sometimes. Like, I want to hang out with them, chat with them all day long, but I feel that they are with me just because I’m pity person being.

    I don’t have low self-esteem, but this thoughts just chasing me all the time when I see their reactions while I’m talking.

  • In the country i am living in, we are not allowed to leave the house and everything is closed. I am in a new city and will be trying to get to know people to talk to online.. Hope there are some other weirdos like me, looking for the same haha. This pandemia has brought up my loneliness problem

  • Im 25
    A single mom
    Never really had true friends growing up
    Wanted to always have that certain girl group but nope never happened
    Even till this day i still wish i can connect with people out there butit always seems they’re never interested in me so idk its kinda tiring and u yourself is always the one doing the effort and u dont get the same in return I honestly just gave up
    And idk maybe im better off alone

  • Honestly this was a good video I’m glad I came across it! I moved to America 7 years ago and it’s been difficult to make friends I only have acquaintances, but I’m moving back to the Uk soon and even so I have lost some friends, I know I’m commenting late but anyone in their 20s and lives close to London and would like to meet up in London just comment, I’ll be visiting in December ��

  • Hey everyone! As a young man recovering from a past of deep social anxiety (any other homeschoolers here?), I’m hoping to someday help others
    with this issue. I’m currently trying to find out how one could make the lives of people with Social Anxiety a lot easier:)

    Which is why I have two very simple questions:

    1.      
    As a person with social anxiety, what are the 2 biggest issues you’re dealing with?

    2.      
    Regarding social anxiety, what would you wish for more than anything else?

    Thanks so much in advance. As I’m aware this can be sensitive information, please feel free to DM me as well.  Looking forward to reading your answers!

  • For me, every person treats me like their psychologist.
    I have people come up and share their whole lifestories and issues and I want to help, so I try the best I can but it’s very onesided and I don’t know why people literally see me as their emotional problem dumpster.
    My friends talk to me about their lives but when I feel down, nobody’s around, and I hate even bothering people with it. It’s like I only have friends when I can do something for them.
    And lately my best friend, the only friend that actually listens to me as well got into a drug addiction and now I never see him anymore and he has new friends.
    It hit me yesterday when lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, how awfully lonely I feel and how I haven’t met any friends in about a month, I’ve been at home. All the time.
    It makes my whole stomach ache and I feel so anxious.
    And when I have thought I had a true friend it turns out they really wanted to have sex or something.
    I’m so lonely that I pour my feelings out on youtube, great.
    And I have Aspergers. Done deal for a social life.����

  • I think friendship as children also has the benefit that children are allowed to be candid when they don’t like each other’s behavior: “Quit being a jerk! That’s mine let go! If you can’t share, then go home! If you can’t respect boundaries, then you’re not invited!” As we get older, we are expected to not be so open about our disapproval of the behavior of others it can actually be dangerous to be candid, if the other guy is big, angry, and has a weapon or has a say in your job security so people just do a much more cautious dance of getting to know each other.

  • I left my friends because one of them was very agitating and everyone always sided with him, so I decided it was best for my mental state to leave them because I had been put through lots of stress, even after telling them this he didn’t stop.

  • I have 2 actual friends, its really hard for me to find friends because I’m not like everyone, all the girls at my school are vsco girls who are all popular, I like roblox and flamingo ( I’m really weird ) and most of my “friends” are just my friends out of pity and I never talk to them

  • I realized that making friends these days really isn’t as easy as you think. Most people nowadays only like and accept you for materialistic things, (good looks, slender and built body, 6ft height or higher, money, influence, a huge lifetime supply of drugs, weed, hookah, heavy alcohol, etc). It’s like the phrase, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts” doesn’t mean anything to people anymore, and if you don’t have any of those things, everyone will just treat you like you cease to exist no matter how much you try to socialize with them, also people today are very selfish, they’re not interested in wanting to be your friend, all they care about is themselves, making money, and trying to make it big in the world. I’ve tried countless times in my almost 30 years of life to make friends, but since I don’t have any of the materialistic stuff that I listed above, everyone just sees me as a burden or an irritating insignificant pest…

  • What if people do not like you or make you feel like you are competing for resources and to network around you. Even when you care?

    Very funny. You should be on ” SNL”.

  • How to Win Friends and Influence People: by dale carnigie… just do the hardwork instead of asking questions… about simple things

  • Young, rich, attractive women are not people who should be giving advice to young, middle/lower class, men (who are at the highest risk of loneliness, depression, suicide).

  • 1.Step outside your comfort zone and meet people.
    2. Be interested, not interesting.
    3. Have a party line like going to introducing yourself at a social event.
    You’re welcome.

  • You got me on the perfume AD ������������ your shirt is LIT and this is the most creative business channel I ever came across!! You deserve an international TV channel because I am from Kuwait but I still related heavily to everything you always say!

  • Thanks for making this video:) just rewatched it! I’m moving to LA myself at the end of the month and arming myself with all the tools to make some new friends!

  • it’s a little impossible to make friends when your a teen now. we don’t have “get friends” apps. like tinder or anything like that. it’s just difficult now.

  • i have like no friends and when i try to hang out with anyone it drains me and i think it’s because i put too much pressure on there being a connection or like enjoying their company. but it’s easier with guys i don’t know why. it’s really hard to make friends without it feeling forced

  • Sometimes I feel like I give a lot in my friendships but rarely receive anything in return so I kind of stopped making an effort as time passed by.

  • #2 really resonated with me! I’ve been doing my best to focus on talking with others about their interests and life, instead of having the focus on me. This introvert love these kind of conversations. Who doesn’t love talking about themselves? Haha. Love your videos Marie!

  • Hi Marie �� i love your videos! Your style and humor are so enjoyable!
    1.set a strech goal
    2.be intrested,not interesting
    3.the best connections rarely come from you talking,they come from you listening
    4.have a party line

  • These are all great when you are at a party or bar or something. But what when you don’t really like to go out, but do want to make new great friends?

  • I just moved across the country by myself and I’ve had success using Meetup and Bumble BFF to make friends! I also do my best to say yes to new experiences. ��

  • Hi Marie ��

    I love your posts and valuable input. Thank you for that ��

    At the end of this one I thought “did I miss something in what she said?” I checked… no.

    For me this question was about “how to make yourself going outside, away from your pc, to meet people and then talk about what you do; how you get yourself so far to go outside”
    It would have been perfect if you had added that step.

    Your tips here are perfect if you are already outside to meet people.

    For me it’s a question of knowing where to start, where to go to and then what to say there, when nothing happend lately and you stayed too long at home at your pc.
    (Btw: I am rather an extrovert �� )

    Would be great if you would have an answer about that first step ��

    Have a great day!

  • Thanks for making this video:) just rewatched it! I’m moving to LA myself at the end of the month and arming myself with all the tools to make some new friends!

  • I love to mountain bike so when I moved to a new town, I found a local trail building meet up and I went to it! It was a great way to meet new people with similar interests while building something awesome to bike down!

  • Making friends and meeting women has been extremely hard as an adult. I moved to a new town and I’m always initiating with new people. It’s been like this for several years and I either get ghosted shortly later or it ends in simple small talk every time. It’s so lonely it physically hurts. I’m hoping for one day. You inspired some confidence and hope, but history has left me skeptical.

  • Great video Marie, as usual! It’s true that us entrepreneurs do need to connect with people, get around people, engage etc! Isolation is definitely real in the lives of entrepreneurs ��

  • I have a gag reflex on the words i want to say. I litterally feel like I’m suffocating when i have to listen instead of talking about myself. I avoid people so i won’t talk about myself. Litterally hired a coach and therapist and i want to talk so much more.

  • Hank, by chance I traveled to visit family half the US away on Esther Day this year. It was for a funeral for a departed grandparent, but it was a good reunion. I hadn’t seen any blood relatives in years. It ended up being the best trip to see family I’ve ever had. My closest family has always had severe problems with drugs and abuse. It was an incredible treat when I flew in and was told my sister had been clean of substances for ten months. I hadn’t talked to her for five or six years. She apologized for her misdeeds, the stealing and lying and general bad sisterhood. I was receptive, which was a challenge for me. We have a relationship that has been blessed by Esther, I feel like. Just good timing ��

  • Making friends is an organic thing and what helps it become a long lasting beautiful relationship is the energy exchanged between the people. People come in and out of your lives for a reason and it could forever or for just a season. and to note, not everyone has a personality to have healthy relationships i.e. narcissists (half of the Youtubers who vlog their lives or beauty gurus). So you need to look at yourself and ask yourself are you in a good place emotionally to have healthy friendships/relationships and can you put yourself out there to find people who have the same energy and common interests as you.

  • I have extreme Social Anxiety and basically don’t leave the house unless I have to, so these tips are (as I expected) far beyond anything I would want to do. But I love the fake perfume ad. Marie always manages to bring fun to her videos in good balance with her honest answers. <3

  • This VOX article is exactly on how to prioritize your friends and agrees with you Hank! “None of my closest friendships were forged solely because we had so much in common or it was convenient. It was because we prioritized each other. When we had options — and there are always, always options — we chose each other more often than we didn’t. There have been times when people I didn’t think were close friends showed up for me when I didn’t expect it, and that’s what deepened our friendships.”
    https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/8/16/17694356/how-to-make-friends-adulthood

  • Hello, thank you Thomas for another great video on how to make friends. One of my major interests in life is to learn how to develop good friends, and have good quality relationships with them. One thing that I got out of your video was that if you want people to be your friend, then you must be a friend to people from the start. Take care and stay healthy under these life circumstances!

  • LOL the most unique way,
    I good friend of mine gave a cheese burger to a random girl cause he didn’t wanted to eat it, then they talked for a while…. next week he invites her at his party, get her drunk. 8 years later, they are still together HAHA
    I’m honestly kind of jealous, wish it was that easy

  • I’ve finally lost all of my sixth form friends (except for one shout out to her) but I still worried as she’s considering moving cities. I’m feel empty and lonely at the thought of not having friends going into my twenties

  • This is an incredible topic that is evermore becoming a challenge with more home based businesses and people generally wanting to get out there and meet new people.
    I’ve spent the past 3 years in the networking circuit attending a range of events and certainly learnt a lot. Marie covers it beautifully here and in the videos she has done before. So do check it out.
    Take it one event at a time and understand that you are really enough, quality people want to find out more when they sense authenticity. Don’t compare and it’s not about numbers.

  • i always feel so embarrassed to say that i have only a few friends. or that i don’t text or snapchat other people that often �� plus the few friends i have i consider to be my best friends, but tbh i don’t think they see me that way. i think to them i’m just a friend, not even close to their best friend. i also feel like everyone i meet already has tons of friends, so they’re not that interested in befriending me. everyone i talk to just seems sort of bored or uninterested, so my anxiety goes through the roof trying to chat with them �� idk sorry i needed to rant. been a rough day lmao

  • Marie you are so great, and this video was funny too. Great tips as always. I also add a suggestion for Wendy: You may like to join workshops, groups, and classes that are in line with your passion and interests. This way, you will meet more people who share your values and hobbies. Group support helps too such as in meditation classes if you are interested.

  • Actually my excitement and my vulnerability is what put people away because they’re robots who don’t care about actually making friends they’re just here for entertainment

  • Me, 28 with no friends. Busy managing family, future, workplace and getting depressed. I’m not cool as Matthew. None pay me attention, though I go on daydreaming with my single life.

  • This video came exactly at the right time for me. I’ve been so down the past few days because I just finished my Master’s in London (originally from the states), so only a year ago I was in a position of needing to make a whole new friend group because I moved to a new city across the world. But, over the course of the year I made so many strong female friendships. Now, pretty much all of my friend group has moved all over the world for their careers after graduating, so I feel like I’m starting all over again but in a worse position because I don’t have the help of uni to meet people… Feeling so down about it, but I have downloaded Bumble BFF after watching this video and hoping to meet new girlfriends that way! Thanks Ingrid <3

  • Thank you for this. I have been living in London UK for over 13 years, but I do not have any friends, especially that I have recently come out of long and toxic relationship. Fingers crossed things will change for the better. Thank you for your video

  • Hi! I am Chamberlain Festus. A gospel musician from Lagos, Nigeria. I seek to connect with people from the west.. Let’s be friends.. My Facebook ID is: Chambersfestus. And my Instagram Handle is: @Chambers_Festus. Thanks friends for your candid responses.

  • People with no friends as adults made the wrong choices in their lives and now are gonna pay for It with loneliness for the rest of their lives, having no friends also shows lack of intelligence.On the other hand, others with friends are the ones who were smart enough,grew up the right way,they were social and talkative,they had good social skills,maybe they are also beautiful,they were good students and thats why they can enjoy their lives now.We the loners are the dumbfucks who made the wrong choices and we are bound to die from depression.Nobody is open for friendship as an adult,their friendships have already formed.One thing I know is that life and society are harsh and dont forgive past mistakes.Personally all I have to say is, fuck this life,fuck society,fuck the world,fuck the whole planet.I dont give a shit anymore, I have my job,my money,I m gonna sign up for classes,either boxing or dancing or something, I will fuck my strippers,I will travel the world with group tours and If im gonna die while travelling then I ll die.We are all gonna die, both the loners and the ones with the thousand friends.Even if the whole earth befriended you, you cant escape death,death is inevitable for everyone.As joker says in the movie we live in a system that chooses whats funny or not and whats acceptable or not.A system that feelings dont matter and real love doesnt exist.Well fuck this system.I m out…peace.

  • After being married 13 years and now alone in a complete new country and I can’t even speak the language. And only here to be near my daughter. Wow! Do I feel alone.

  • I don’t drink.. i don’t like going to movies..my girlfriend is a bitch…I like shooting guns and riding everything motorized on my mountain property…I go to public ranges..im to myself until uproached, then I’m more social and likely to leave you with a box of bullets and and nice snap-on blanket after we talk about grip/trigger control and do drills for an hour, lol�� but..that’s where it stops.. I go home n take care of my chickens and clean my guns and spend time with my daughter. It’s almost like I don’t have genuine time to put toward a genuine “relationship”. I just give. Hard to take. Does this make sense to anyone or am I just in my own boat.? I mean I guess I make friends as in the example and exchange numbers..but never initiate after that until I just see you around. To sume it up just busy all the time.

  • What when your old like me?i really dont have any friends.i had them…i think:(
    What if you dont go outside much…really dont know what to say…i take care of my kids..thats all i do.

  • I used too had friends, I used too was wealthy (because of parents), I used too was so confident and everything good… But then I moved out with boyfriend was then cut off from the money, then got depressed, and then addicted to narcotics because of the depression, so I gradually stopped hanging out with my friends because I wanted my friends to remember me as who I am not who I am now-depressed and sad. People say money doesn’t matter… That’s said by people who have never had it! At 20 years old I already had almost $200k in new cars and a 780 credit score-life was so great. After losing it, it’s like I lost myself, the money gave me confidence, it made me feel important. That probably sounds horrible-but it’s my truth. I’m trying to get my life back now, soon I’ll be starting a residential development company so I need to “find myself” and get my shi+ together. But I have no self confidence, self worth, love everything good about me for the most part has faded away-I don’t feel I have anything to bring to the table I still a good listener I guess you could say therapist vibe but I’ve became socially award. I feel like I’m a Debbie downer, and that is totally not who I want to be. I hope I can get better.

  • I was in love with a girl, we went out for a few months then she wanted us to be friend instead. After over a year of this I feel I was just getting myself hurt. It seems ironic now since I cut ties with her on the 3rd August. At least it ended on good terms

  • You reaally don’t know how inspiring is this video for me. Thank you, just thank you, I will put everything you said into practice. I’m always feeling insecure, depressed and vulnerable around this topic. I think you described my deficiencies to perfection. Greetings from Spain!

  • When you’re a kid you don’t have much expectations of a friend. A friend is just someone who’s there when you want to play or do stuff. You might not even like them but they’re your friend so meh. As an adult I find I look for people who are like me but that makes it that much harder.

  • 23, Ohio, snapchat is Hershey’s (na1ra) dropped out of college I like psychology for self growth from traumatic experiences, mbti & being stupid hit me up if you want to see if we could be friends……

    I have few friends left from high school but moved states so I feel them falling apart just cuz life idk I don’t have friends to hangout with anymore for like 7+ years. It’s difficult to make new friends as adult so Trying new shit since I’m gen z I guess. This soo embarrassing but wat the heck it’s my lack of social skills that are embarrassing. Maybe we could help each other grow social skill???

  • (314) 384-6714

    My google voice number. I really, really want some good people in my life. I really appreciate someone who is into animation and video games, YouTube videos obviously, and I love other artists. If you draw, write, play music, design, take photos, cook, ect., I love to share that kind of stuff with people.
    I go to therapy, I have goals, I like to hang out and play video games, I like to party, I like to work with my friends— I try to be a well-rounded individual, I tend to give a lot in all my relationships. It’s important to me that my friends give me support, and hold me accountable.
    Text me your name, and a greeting, maybe include an interest of yours. I’m really good at carrying conversations.

  • Hey everyone! As a young man recovering from a past of deep social anxiety (any other homeschoolers here?), I’m hoping to someday help others
    with this issue. I’m currently trying to find out how one could make the lives of people with Social Anxiety a lot easier:)

    Which is why I have two very simple questions:

    1.      
    As a person with social anxiety, what are the 2 biggest issues you’re dealing with?

    2.      
    Regarding social anxiety, what would you wish for more than anything else?

    Thanks so much in advance. As I’m aware this can be sensitive information, please feel free to DM me as well.  Looking forward to reading your answers!

  • can y help
    me finding some jewish friends?I like them and want to develop a friendship in both holland and Israel. Is that possilble, tell me how

  • Actually talk and respond to randoms on the street…this type of stuff is important, i moved to a major city and no one did this, the ones who actually did were friendly, networking is an important part and one we must all play a role of.

  • Somehow I become salty, listing to a young attractive outgoing man with an accent tell me about how he met all his friends going to parties and clubs.

  • Q. How would someone who has been a lifetime teetotaler make friends? When you think how much of life is surrounded by alcohol and how much socializing does too -take for example 3 main soaps Corrie,Eastenders and Emmerdale -all based mainly around a pub.It’s not just pubs it’s a big part of most peoples lives,wedding,birthdays,meals or just at home.Of course there are many places to start that doesn’t involve alcohol but somewhere it will turn up it’s almost impossible to avoid in most situations.

  • (314) 384-6714

    My google voice number. I really, really want some good people in my life. I really appreciate someone who is into animation and video games, YouTube videos obviously, and I love other artists. If you draw, write, play music, design, take photos, cook, ect., I love to share that kind of stuff with people.
    I go to therapy, I have goals, I like to hang out and play video games, I like to party, I like to work with my friends— I try to be a well-rounded individual, I tend to give a lot in all my relationships. It’s important to me that my friends give me support, and hold me accountable.
    Text me your name, and a greeting, maybe include an interest of yours. I’m really good at carrying conversations.

  • Yeah I’m so tired of having no friends. I have no one to talk to it gets so lonely sometimes. I’m trying everything I can not to kill myself ��what’s the point of being alive

  • What if that crack head/drug addict is recovering and trying to make friends but, now since you said don’t hang out with that person no one wants to hang out with the recovering addict because of the bad stigma tied to that person? Is it just better for that person to go use drugs until death takes out that person?

  • I have always had troubles getting close to people. It feels like I just cant get friends. What makes it harder is that everyone I know is engaged or have families. Also arent people less social now with all of the facebook crap

  • I am very glad to know this is an average problem to guys because I find out that I just go for friends which has been known for years, knowing new people is very challenging.

  • It’s very easy to make new friends as a guy.
    All you have to do is tell a hot girl that you love her, and then she’ll say “oh, let’s just be friends…”

  • I don’t know where the hell to go to meet guys or girls who think like me. I only have 2 real life friends I can be mostly honest with. I don’t drink or smoke so that also really limits who I can hangout with. Not that I mind if others get shit faced or high or lung cancer around me. Well okay yeah that last one I want no part of. It’s just no one wants someone like me around unless it were a designated driver. I don’t have a lot of money so always bringing lots of refreshments isn’t an option. I don’t want to only be known for that either, “oh he’s just the guy bringing food”. Many people think I’m a loner by choice but who the hell wants that?! No one wants to be alone this much, sure there’s alone time but not all the time. Even the people I know who accept me aren’t completely like me, they’re just very tolerant.

    It’s even more depressing that I felt the need to google how to make friends as an adult again. None of what I watch or listen to ever helps, I just wake up the next morning get ready & go to work if there is any all over again. Sure I’ve made friends with my customers that I do landscaping for. Most of them are elderly though & I can’t act completely like myself around them because I know they won’t agree. I suppose you could say I’m not right in the head, that’s why I can’t be totally myself around everyone. Well isn’t this the generation where you can’t judge anyone? In a world where people can change the gender they’re born as, sometimes multiple times because they just can’t decide. Why am I a bad person who deserves to be alone just because of how I think?

  • There are so many people living a lonely life. I see my friends rarely i mean very rarely. Hardly ever do i get a call to say Hello mate this and that is happening why don’t you come. I concentrate on myself alot though and hardly ever look at Facebook. I work out alot and it does help make you feel better i must admit. I would rather be a lone wolf than a sheep hanging out with fake ass people just to be in company..

  • I’m 28 and have been feeling super sad about losing my friends over the last 5 years. I chose to break up with quite a big group of friends after sticking by their bullying ways for years but I’ve never been able to find genuine friendships ever since then.
    I’m from London in the U.K. but I’m so open to being friends with new people on here as it’s such a lonely place without friends:(

  • I am entering my 30s and trying to make new friends and so far it is not going great… For example I signed up for a meetup event and when I got there, no one showed up, not even the event organizers!Another example: I started taking adult ballet lessons and everyone there is so cold and cliquey.I tried to engage with some girls but they didnt really try to keep the conversation going so I gave up. I suffer from anxiety so it’s hard for me to put myself out there but it feels like my efforts are useless.��

  • I started being friends with heroine addicts, because they are more human, vulnerable and they have more time than most humans. But that wasnt a good idea:-/

  • I used to be that person few years back and eventually when people only started to use my weakness to put me down, I realised, they aren’t the best person that supposed to be in my life I dont allow and no longer allow toxic negative person in my life.

  • I’ve always had a hard time understanding how much to expect from a friend, what if they never ask how I’m doing, if they never ask me out while I try to hang out with them, I wish you could answer this cause I think I might expect too much from people (not in a relationship way) ��

  • Yes Matthew is right about meeting new friends through old ones. I’m going to two parties next week and I guarantee to meet new people there. Don’t be afraid to say your name and talk to strangers, have a quick chat….and move on. Never overstay your welcome by staying for too long. If they like you they will come back to you later….

  • Ive been 3 years post college with the realization that a lot of the friendships I’ve held on to were solely based on longevity and not on quality. Now that I realized this I’ve accepted that I need to distance myself from these people because they don’t value me as much as I valued them/our friendship. I feel like this has been damn near what all my relationships have been (with the exception of 2-3 friends I know I can rely on, but they’re either far or working 24/7 so I barely see them). Starting anew and trying to meet people post-college AND with the added obstacle of social anxiety has really made it difficult and makes me feel like I’m set to feel lonely or lacking in strong relationships for as long as I’m alive:/

  • I ditched all my childhood “friends” because they always seemed to prefer other friends over me, and would flake out when they found someone to date. But now as a 40-something heterosexual man, it’s so hard making male friends. I just want an activity or occasional travel partner that has some semblance of a moral character. I’m smart, witty, not a prude, and can talk about almost anything. The times I’ve tried, I run into: 1. Men who are broke and you have to pay their way. 2. Men who want to chase women all day and night. 3. Men who smoke 420, drink too much, or do recreational drugs. 4. Men who have gf or wives and feel like they need to be up under them every second, and act like neutered choir boys when they’re away from them. 5. Gay men who claim to be looking for just friends but fantasize about converting you (craigslist). I don’t know the last time I actually trusted a guy friend.

  • Thanks for this! I moved to a different country and have been struggling to meet people & make friends. I’m also an introvert:/
    I finally decided to join a few Meetup communities for expats and have been to a few events. I had some good conversations with a few people, so I’m off to a good start! ��

  • That guy just has a problem cutting through to meaningful conversation. literally what the psychologist guy told him. “be interested in people.” if you try to understand people on a deeper level, they will give you material to turn into meaningful conversation.

  • it’s almost impossible to make male friends, especially in your 40s when everyone is married and popping out children and busy with work. they just are not interested.

  • lonely guys? hard to make friends? me too…lots of us suffer from this problem, especially when we’re in our 30s and 40s and are in committed relationships.

    well, i’m not afraid of putting myself out there and making new friends. email me at [email protected] gmail.com, because i’d love to meet more guy friends. the fear and anxiety about making male friends has gotta stop, and someone has to get the ball rolling-i guess that’s me.

  • The easiest way to make friends as an adult is join a dating sate under false pretenses and win that person over in a non romantic way.

  • I’ve loved connecting with other moms trough church, and then just having casual mom hangouts. I’ve also loved just starting conversations with different people on social media and becoming friends in that space as well!

  • What’s the point of friendship if we’re not gonna be making each other laugh, have fun, and insult each other in good fun? Fuck a pretentious friendship bruh

  • Meeting new male friends outside of the workplace and building a meaningful relationship with them I find to be the single most difficult thing in life. When you have a gf, your options are generally just to make male friends. When you are the boss at work, that knocks out the prospects of developing a relationship within the workplace. So, being a male boss with a gf and someone who couldn’t care less about sports (other than MMA at times) has resulted in genuine loneliness. The few things I have found to be helpful is discussing things like personal investment, politics, and physical fitness at the gym. When discussing personal finance, this usually isolates the recipient because of an implied class difference. Today more than ever discussing politics (my version of sports) outside of joining a political party within the community is more divisive than not. Anyone have an suggestions?

  • Kudos for the effort and perseverance of this guy, I thought he had a nice friendly personality and would have made male friends easily, I think it is important not to try too hard and just be awesome and let others want to be “your” friend, then when they call you up just say you are busy because people always want what they can’t have, or an easy way is to organise events, advertise it locally or on facebay etc, also it’s human nature to want to help people, so join a club doing something that you are crap at and ask for help, bingo instant pity friend haha

  • Trying to make friends is such a miserable experience, I find it exhausting and not very fruitful.
    But on the other hand, spending life alone is another world of pain on its own.
    Why are things this difficult…?

  • it’s so easy to make friends when youre seeing the same people 5 days a week for most of your school years. what if you don’t have a job working with other people? where do you meet anyone?

  • I enjoy going to free community workout classes! They’re usually outside and pop-up workouts where a gym comes out and just hosts a free class. I made two friends just chatting to a couple of them after the workout and asking if they’d like to exchange numbers! It felt cheesy to ask, but I’m so glad I did because they’re great girls and we’re now friends.

  • “Get exited when people invite you to places.” No one invites me to anything.
    “Invite them to something you set up.” I don’t have friends so who am I gonna invite? Random people on the street?

  • I was just listening to your podcast One Step and your talk about the importance of female friendships, and you mentioned this youtube video, can’t believe I’m so late to the game (at least in this one respect, ’cause I check in with you monthly) annnd that there may be a show based off the book “Text me when you get home,” one terrific show I just finished watching on Crave TV is “Dollface” w/ Kat Dennings (along w/ High Fidelity so good!! and Divorce, also highly recommend!!) and all of these shows really touch on the basis on having intimate female friendships, healthy, platonic, adult relationships. You are so wonderful Ingrid, and you truly have felt like a friend that I can turn to in this virtual world… since 2013 so thank you so much, for continuing to show up, no matter the topic, or no matter your mood. I love you for being your unapologetic, authentic self!! <3

  • Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! Making friends as an adult women is very challenging-I discuss this with my close friends all the time. I’ve found a lot of comfort in knowing that when you go into a situation knowing that the other person is probably as nervous as you are about making friends it’s really not so scary! Bought the book you recommended and can not wait to read <3

  • Hey Marie! You’re such a big inspiration to me! You’re my role model! Even if I get to be even 10% of what you are in this entire lifestyle, I would consider myself blessed! Please keep creating more of such wonderful videos!

  • i live in a town where everyone is married or the wrong age for me. Bible belt isn’t conducive for meeting a lot of people. I have found that the family or clics in this area are a closed society. What you say go to a bar or church or what? Been there. I honestly think I will be looking outside of the area I live in which Marie TV techniques are just worthless….

  • Oh no I’m nyc and have few friends this video is soooooo true! I love libraries but haven’t made friends there but just in case anyone needs a friend my email is [email protected]��

  • Most unique way I made a friend was by trying to chat to the now friends girls in the group. Just joking around and they were not into my humour but these two guys also in their group pulled me aside and said you’re funny lets hang out. Now I have a place to stay in Amsterdam and they have a place here ����

  • Oh no I’m nyc and have few friends this video is soooooo true! I love libraries but haven’t made friends there but just in case anyone needs a friend my email is [email protected]��

  • This is really refreshing. I’ve graduated college and moved to a new city alone and I have found it SO hard to make friends when you don’t just have peers around you all the time. Especially because I’m young working in healthcare and all my coworkers are a lot older than me. I have my dogs and I’m really active with them hiking all the time, but I’m so lonely. I miss being surrounded by friends, but I literally don’t know how to make new ones as an adult ):

  • I think the idea of “text me when you get home” can be great for romantic relationships too. Especially in this online dating era and with hook-up culture, we tend to jump right into romance but skip over building some kind of friendship first. One of the ways I knew my boyfriend and I were going to work as a couple was that we didn’t feel obligated to follow antiquated rules like 3 days before calling, and he genuinely cared that I texted him when I got home so he knew I was safe (and conversely would always text me when he got home). It also gave us a chance to talk about those things that go through your brain driving home from a date. Now we live together, so the home safe text doesn’t really exist anymore, but when we get home from doing things we still always talk about the things that have been done, whether we did them together or not

  • I’ve found that being a confident and content introvert has done me a disservice in difficult moments. I don’t need friends until I need them. Investing in people who also invest in me has been stepped up in my life as an intentional move. I even put “call X today” in my planner so that I do not let people I love slip away. And what I’ve found is that I did need them all along, because adult friendships open up a part of my heart I didn’t even know I had. The more we build genuine and inclusive communities, the better we will become. Love this video Ingrid!

  • Hey Ingrid! While watching this video I was wondering why is it so effort-ful to do friendship as an adult, whereas when we were kid it was so easy, there were no awkward moments even. Isn’t it?

  • I just moved to a small city and there is nothing going on here… how am I supposed to make friends…. I also have different work times everyday so I can’t join anything like clubs etc

  • Thank you for this video, for it gave me hope that I can find close friends, after I lost my old ones. It’s especially important to me because I’m quiet shy and don’t connect easily to others

  • anyone have tips for conversation starters? When in social situations, I often don’t know how to go up to someone and start a conversation. Thanks!

  • Hi, believe it or not but I am a man (of colour and muslim!) and I’m watching this video as I too am struggling to make friends as an adult. I really do feel held back (by my own mind) mostly and when I do catch up/talk with some people, I often feel like im needy/desperate messaging them. and I often fear rejection:/ wish me luck in my friend making journey. I have sporadically been on one or two meetups to try and make friends but I’ve not been able to relate/bond with anyone so far. I think is video is fantastic, I may rewatch this again and i’ll probably read “text me when you get back” (I read a lot of books anyway, mostly crime/thriller but I’ve also read “eleanor oliphant is completely fine” a good read btw). many thanks

  • I met my friend through my husband. My husband knew a guy working at an office next door and they scheduled to go on a double date. I met his wife and we instantly clicked.:)

  • The problem is that I have really good friends at school, but I’m too shy to text them because I find myself annoying sometimes. Like, I want to hang out with them, chat with them all day long, but I feel that they are with me just because I’m pity person being.

    I don’t have low self-esteem, but this thoughts just chasing me all the time when I see their reactions while I’m talking.

  • Loving that this got posted after I’ve just moved to Missoula without knowing anyone, gunna use this advice to make friends in this amazing little city

  • I have a RBF & when I smile it looks fake AF… I will try to strike up conversation at the gym, barnes & noble, park etc. (going to gym now):)

  • I made the experience that people are very surprised (in a positiv way) when I reach out to new neighbours or colleagues at work actively saying or sending a note “Hi you’re new here, welcome:) Do you want to grab a coffee some time this week?” it is kind of sad that most of the time I get the response “sure, that’s so nice. this never happend to me before”

  • What a great video and so true! I was wondering what you think about platonic female <> male friendships. You underlined female friends a few times. For me personally I love the different dynamics and insights from both my female and male friends and would’nt want to miss out on either of them

  • This video really made me reconnect with Ingrid. I grew up watching her and growing with her and I really felt the emotion and love in this video. We love you Ingrid!

  • There are also smaller subreddits too and they are a great way to make connections! Also a great place to meet friends is volunteering or activism because you have at least some of the same values!

  • I’m so happy that you’re talking about this. When I first moved to Manhattan, I also didn’t know anyone and my first six months in New York were painful, lonely, and full of missed connections. It was only when I made close friends that the city opened up for me and I stopped debating whether I should just move back home. I started a company called More to make it so that no-one needs to go through half a year of wanting to leave the city before they can begin taking advantage of the amazing people and moments it has to offer so that anyone can begin making meaningful connections and memories as soon as their feet touch down on NY ground <3

  • Go to a gym? Go rock climbing? Not everyone is into sports. Also, not for older people who may be lonely. Loneliness takes in a large spectrum of people, usually larger than the young population.

  • I think the best activities for friends dates are things that allow time to talk while still being active (if you are active people) or something unique. I love hiking and certain friends do as well so when we have the chance to get together it is almost always for a hike or a cookout in a state park (or even better a camping weekend!). With other friends I like getting dressed up and going to a tea house for high tea.

  • Love, love, love this!!!
    Moved to a new city without knowing anyone, and it really is about “saying yes” and putting yourself out there!!
    So excited you have a new podcast!!

  • thank you for posting this! as an introverted 30 yr old, it has been difficult branching out and trying to meet new people, although it is something I deeply crave! these are all helpful tips on how to meet new friends and I will definitely be getting that book!

  • ibf anyone?
    im 14 
    likes to ft 
    has tiktok,snap,insta,messges,roblox
    im just basic that all
    please be my ibf all my friends fake lol:(

  • I find it hard to make friends. I love gaming, horror movies and action movies and art. It seems like where I live most girls aren’t interested in those topics. They look down on me because I love gaming. I wish I had a real gamer girl friend or even an art friend to draw with. It’s really difficult, I always end up being friends with guys more than girls.

  • I found I had to turn my fear/anxiety into being cautious not living in fear-also, hearing is the physical act of your ears to hear sounds While Listening is the selfless act of focusing in on someone’s words and being patient-I have yet to meet another human who doesn’t want to be genuinely “listened” to-Look new potential friends in their eyes and Focus on Them then you will develop new relationships in time-All of Us deserve at least one good friend-

  • This isn’t easy as it seems and I try a lot and I ask questions but people don’t seem interested to form a friendship. I’m thinking about volunteering so does anyone know how to make a good friend as volunteering and where should I volunteer where I can meet people everyday I’m from surrey. And does anyone have tips on talking to someone to become friends and how to know if the person is interested.

  • Don’t know if you did as of yet.

    Think you could make a video on “how to make friends in a pandemic / quarantine” including the best app on the app store

  • It’s too bad I didn’t live in NY because I feel like Ingrid and I would be good friends. I share a lot of the same thoughts and interests as her!

  • I think there is so much pressure to be friends with who you grew up with and the reality is that doesn’t work for anyone. I’m 25 and I’ve never felt more pressure to have more friends, when you don’t have a necessarily social or younger crowd at work it’s incredibly difficult, I think especially as you get older. X

  • Love, love, love this!!!
    Moved to a new city without knowing anyone, and it really is about “saying yes” and putting yourself out there!!
    So excited you have a new podcast!!

  • Thank you so much for this video, Ingrid! Making friends as an adult women is very challenging-I discuss this with my close friends all the time. I’ve found a lot of comfort in knowing that when you go into a situation knowing that the other person is probably as nervous as you are about making friends it’s really not so scary! Bought the book you recommended and can not wait to read <3

  • Meetup women’s groups are great! Most of the time it is just a larger group of great women who are being social, but I have occasionally made friends that went outside the group activities. Good luck �� everyone!

  • I used to be best friends with this girl. Let’s call her girl x. We really understand each other and we also went to same Kindergarten und school. But the thing is she treated me horribly! You’d have such good moments with her but she just kept being soo mean but just to me. She kept telling me what’s wrong with me and how I should Change. Kept saying it all the time. “this is why you don’t have friends” this is why you don’t have a boyfriend” “this is why [name of crush] doesn’t like you”
    And you couldn’t tell her things like that cause she’d get mad, she’d get mad all the time… So one day I just were sick of it I told her on a night when she was with her other friends cause I knew she would get a mental breakdown or sth.
    Its so wierd going to school and hardly seeing eyecontact. A person who one was soo familiar was now a stranger and the thing is she is in a friend group were I am in too, amaizing people(I thought, I tried listining to friend x to change myself so I won’t loose those friends then) but friend x is one that’s twist a story and makes herself kind of the victim. I don’t have contact with any of those people of that friend group anymore. I lost all my friends due to toxic friend x. My crush was also in that friend group and when she took videos in her insta story with my crush and made out and stuff when I was still following her
    This is way to long sry
    I lost all my friends so I’m searching”how to make friends” on YouTube

  • hi, Ingrid!
    Thank you so much!!!
    This is the video that I really wanted so baddly. Few months ago I quit my Job and decided to move on to new chapter in my life. Recently I just moved to Singapore and I’m living here alone.

    For me, I feel like this subject is awkward and shame when you have zero friends around you.
    Me being adults here, It’s also feels wierd to let anyone knows that I’m not good at socializing.

    BUT, to hearing you saying that it’s ok to express that feelings to other people was kind of amazing things that I learn from you.

    Huge thanks to you.

  • I just moved from CT to San Fransisco about a month ago and these tips are really helpful. I definitely recommend picking up a hobby, maybe something you did before, or something new. I joined a new dance studio when I moved out here and it is so nice to spend time with people who have similar interests. I haven’t made any lasting friends there yet but it is nice to walk in and see people I know. I would also say, don’t be afraid to wear merch/band tshirts, anything that represents your interests. I have Harry Potter earrings that have started 3 different conversations so far people like to comment on things they recognize so you know they have a shared interest with you!!

  • I’ve found awesome adult friends through running groups, such as Florida Striders and the Jacksonville Track Club (JTC). Particularly JTC because they provide members with a Half Marathon Training class in the fall and a Gate Training Class in the winter. The same group of runners, plus some new who discover the classes, sign up for both classes and it’s a great way to find other runners who run your pace as well as develop lasting relationships with other adults. Most runners love to talk and socialize, big extroverts, and it’s great to meet up with other adults who enjoy running as much as I do in my spare time. I’m usually the youngest, even among other runners in my group who are in their 30s, so it’s great to soak up their advice and encouragement because they’ve been running longer than I have. It’s also great to have a group of runners to hold you accountable to your running schedule, especially when you have a race that you’re training for on the horizon.

  • Im 27yrs old and i dont have a boyfriend or any friends. Im very lonely but i dont get along with many people. So i just stick to being happy alone.

  • I am a 21 year old and I can totally relate to how hard it is to make friends and have genuine friendships in life. Anyone wanna be friends? Haha

  • After I got engaged last year, all my close friends ive known for 10 years stopped talking to me except for my bff. I’ve reached out many times and never got an answer. It is a little heartbreaking.

  • This was a great video. I so appreciate this topic, as I feel like it is intimidating/awkward to try to make new friends as an adult. Thank you for the tips and book recommendation.:) Love it!

  • Sometimes I feel like I give a lot in my friendships but rarely receive anything in return so I kind of stopped making an effort as time passed by.

  • Making friends is an organic thing and what helps it become a long lasting beautiful relationship is the energy exchanged between the people. People come in and out of your lives for a reason and it could forever or for just a season. and to note, not everyone has a personality to have healthy relationships i.e. narcissists (half of the Youtubers who vlog their lives or beauty gurus). So you need to look at yourself and ask yourself are you in a good place emotionally to have healthy friendships/relationships and can you put yourself out there to find people who have the same energy and common interests as you.

  • I have a RBF & when I smile it looks fake AF… I will try to strike up conversation at the gym, barnes & noble, park etc. (going to gym now):)

  • Thanks so much for posting this!! �� I’m in my early 30s and i feel like friends are moving away or going to their next life stage that i cant quite relate to yet. I have definitely wondered how to meet new friends now that i’m done with school and outside of work haha, and its reassuring to hear i’m not the only one.:)

  • I don’t want to be friends with boring people and feel like I have to be boring with them.. I want someone who matches my personality

  • This was a video I soooo needed!! I am a new mom and need mom friends bad! As I watched this video I downloaded a “meet mom’s near me” app and have made 2 new friends that I’m making plans with as I type this! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

  • It was frustrating dealing with that LA mentality of “I have enough friends” and now I live in the south and though they’re friendly, they don’t let new people into their circle of friendships. This too is frustrating. What I’ve found out is that when I get involved with groups, the leaders are from out of state. I’ve lived in this state since 2005 and don’t have a single “close” female friend that is from this state and the female friends I had have moved out of state; job changes.

  • Thanks so much for this Ingrid!! Its like the comment below…….you knew I needed this right now! I live in Staten Island NY and all my friends are either married or have live in partners or kids. Im the single one out and I feel like I live on a deserted island with nobody other than myself! This helped and I will take your advice on your tips because lonliness is horrible! xoxo

  • Thank you much for this well-timed video! In the next month I’ll be doing a cross-country move with my partner (she’s already at the new location). As a shy and introverted person, I have become sooo anxious that I won’t meet anyone and will feel isolated. Definitely ordering that book! And will also look at meetup groups in the area to start putting myself out there. This is one of my favorite videos from you, thank you!! ����

  • it’s a little impossible to make friends when your a teen now. we don’t have “get friends” apps. like tinder or anything like that. it’s just difficult now.

  • Me and my “bff” used to hangout everyday we argued sometimes But we Got over it. But now shes hanging out with our other friend and i havent heard of them in the past 2 days. I have had this felling that I Just need a New friend for a long time now.

  • I love this video and how it put people/comments together! you and your words are so sweet and helpful, amazing you! I never had many friends, I have decided to join a course to give me a chance!

  • my problem is that i want to try making friends but i find it really hard to put myself out there since im scared that if i make a bumble or tinder account and start swipin’ then maybe family or people from my school will notice me and make fun of me and scold me

  • To all who are feeling lonely at the moment. I want to create a group on Instagram. To talk about your own personal problems, possibly to find friends etc. If anyone is interested, just ask. Don’t be shy <3

  • I’m 35 and I have no friends not even at work. They tell me I’m stupid and don’t want a person with special needs so I text myself and just lonely

  • I feel like guys are so much easier to get along with, with girls I find there to be quite a bit of bitchyness. All of my friends recently fell out with me as one of them lied and now they’ve all turned there back on me so but now I’m finding it hard to find new friends.

  • I don’t have any friends because I was bed ridden from trauma and developed fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue problems. They all called me crazy and that I needed mental help.

  • I was just listening to your podcast One Step and your talk about the importance of female friendships, and you mentioned this youtube video, can’t believe I’m so late to the game (at least in this one respect, ’cause I check in with you monthly) annnd that there may be a show based off the book “Text me when you get home,” one terrific show I just finished watching on Crave TV is “Dollface” w/ Kat Dennings (along w/ High Fidelity so good!! and Divorce, also highly recommend!!) and all of these shows really touch on the basis on having intimate female friendships, healthy, platonic, adult relationships. You are so wonderful Ingrid, and you truly have felt like a friend that I can turn to in this virtual world… since 2013 so thank you so much, for continuing to show up, no matter the topic, or no matter your mood. I love you for being your unapologetic, authentic self!! <3

  • What about those who you meet up with and then you text them to say nice to meet up perhaps we can do this again then they respond after 2 weeks I find that rude and then when they respond they expect you to get excited. It takes 2 to form a relationship and part of getting to know someone is to chat on text from time to time. I hate these types. Its exhausting saying so how have you been then after 2 weeks you get a completely different response hahahaha! Ditch the bitch!

  • I appreciate your recommendations, I moved to a new city in the last year and struggled with finding friends and I feel like I still am. I thankfully can go back to the old city once a month usually but I realize it’s important to invest in local friendships. I find work friends are easiest to see during work but it’s hard to schedule friend dates. So instead we do favors for each other like picking up some decorations for their home project or bringing food to share to work. You can always squeeze in a friend date on lunch if your free time schedules don’t align often.:)

  • I literally haven’t spoken to another person that’s not my family for almost 5 months. I’m so lonely and depressed, I only wish I could talk to someone, make friends, anything but being lonely:(

  • Thanks so much for this Ingrid!! Its like the comment below…….you knew I needed this right now! I live in Staten Island NY and all my friends are either married or have live in partners or kids. Im the single one out and I feel like I live on a deserted island with nobody other than myself! This helped and I will take your advice on your tips because lonliness is horrible! xoxo

  • I feel This I am 21 and about to graduate form college and all my high school friends and I have our on life I have a really incredible boyfriend put i really need to put my self out there and make some girl friends.

  • After struggling finding friends as an adult, I started connecting to people via my dog. I’m in dog walking fb groups and it’s so easy to meet up with people because they have to go on walks anyways and you have something to talk about, so it isn’t awkward at all.

  • I struggle with making friends. Often times I feel like I never fit in, or cant keep up a conversation. Then I would make just superficial conversations but I will never let someone get close to me in friendship. I think my biggest fear is rejection or being acknowledged as “boring”

  • I’ve never had close friends, I’m 47. I can’t bond with other women or men for that matter Am I just a horrible person??? seriously I’m so ridiculously lonely.

  • Idk I just feel so lonely sometimes. I live with my boyfriend and I love him and he loves me. But that’s basically it. My cousins where my friends before I dated my BF but I have never felt 100% comfortable with them. They all are really outgoing and active people, really beautiful and everyone loved them, while I would stand beside them smile, hoping they would somehow try to say something about me to. But they just startet joking about me, saying I just don‘t look like the girl that people would find attractive since I have a different style of clothing and I was chubby. This happened over and over again and after I started dating they just seemed to not like it. And we started distancing.
    I mean I have friends, but I got to know them from my bf. I only see the, when we’re in groups. I don‘t have like a serious person who I can trust and know that they keep secrets, stay supportive and honest. Yes I know my BF is someone i ALWAYS can talk to, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone else. Idk is it selfish? Other people have literally no one, yet here I am with a loving person wanting more.
    I also feel like I possibly could be the toxic person. And if I’m not, then I really have a special mindset.
    Also People who get to know me seem to really like me. But more then a friendship while having school or work just doesn’t work out. It‘s so weird to describe it.

  • I think there is so much pressure to be friends with who you grew up with and the reality is that doesn’t work for anyone. I’m 25 and I’ve never felt more pressure to have more friends, when you don’t have a necessarily social or younger crowd at work it’s incredibly difficult, I think especially as you get older. X

  • Women are always against each other if they’re not against each other they’re competing against each other I’ve never been like that it starts in middle school and it only gets worse

  • I just moved to Phoenix, AZ and have been down here for 2 months. I will be starting a new job on Monday and I will try your advice and be open to people with whom I meet. This is my very first time writing a comment to anyone. But your advice on the matter compelled me. I want to meet new people and have great friendships in the future.

  • I have friends it’s just I found myself feeling awkward around them and when they do talk to me I get uncomfortable and look away from there face to not make eye contact but still talk to them. I use to be comfortable with them and have fun with them but not anymore and I don’t know why.

  • I’m very introverted. My bff got bored and left me. I have 2 other “friends” but I always feel left out. I feel so lonely��
    I went to a party about two months ago and I was alone eating my donut. The people there asked: Why don’t you go to your friends and have fun?
    I told them I was about to go to them because I was too ashamed to tell them that I actually don’t have friends.

    Sorry, english isn’t my first language��

  • I relate to so much of this video. Thanks so much for this really important discussion, it has helped relieve some of my anxiety to know that I’m not the only person feeling this way. X

  • I haven’t had one girlfriend since I was 14. I’m 21 now. I’m not sure why I can’t make friends. I have reached out. I’ve gone on Instagram hashtags and tried to build relationships with girls near me and nothing seems to work. I’m so lonely and sad. It’s breaking my heart and I feel so unliked ��

  • I am late on this video. I recently moved from NJ to TX. That is approximately 1600 miles distance. I haven’t had any luck meeting friends here. I keep contact with my mom and family and friends in NJ and spend time with my fiance because he is here with me. I am home on my own alot because my fiance works and I don’t. To keep myself occupied I write in my journal. My journal is my best friend. My advice is be your own best friend. This sounds weird but it really helps. If you love you and write letters to yourself you’re never truly alone. I am almost never lonely because I journal so much. I have never been good at making friends and have been journaling for 27 years. My journal keeps me company. Feel free to laugh at me. ��

  • I used to be best friends with this girl. Let’s call her girl x. We really understand each other and we also went to same Kindergarten und school. But the thing is she treated me horribly! You’d have such good moments with her but she just kept being soo mean but just to me. She kept telling me what’s wrong with me and how I should Change. Kept saying it all the time. “this is why you don’t have friends” this is why you don’t have a boyfriend” “this is why [name of crush] doesn’t like you”
    And you couldn’t tell her things like that cause she’d get mad, she’d get mad all the time… So one day I just were sick of it I told her on a night when she was with her other friends cause I knew she would get a mental breakdown or sth.
    Its so wierd going to school and hardly seeing eyecontact. A person who one was soo familiar was now a stranger and the thing is she is in a friend group were I am in too, amaizing people(I thought, I tried listining to friend x to change myself so I won’t loose those friends then) but friend x is one that’s twist a story and makes herself kind of the victim. I don’t have contact with any of those people of that friend group anymore. I lost all my friends due to toxic friend x. My crush was also in that friend group and when she took videos in her insta story with my crush and made out and stuff when I was still following her
    This is way to long sry
    I lost all my friends so I’m searching”how to make friends” on YouTube

  • Hey!! Dm me if you’re lonely @onmyown372 I’m 18, girl, I love sketching (mostly dark and deep) I love kpop and I’m obsessed with psychology and mental illness

  • I too don’t have friends any close friends, no relatives. being alone everytime its so hard and painful, i use to cry a lot. ���������������� Hate this life. priya from india

  • Visually impared made friends or thought i did usually i’d be left out never actually got included. I hate being lonely but I don’t understand how to connect with people

  • Yes I think I need to be more patient with becoming friends. And I go places alone all the time. I go stay at the beach for days ALoNE lol but everyone is paired with others and. It looking for any new friends… “No new friends” bullshit lol

  • Thank you for making this video. It’s okay to say your single and looking or date and go on dating apps. Why is it seen weird or not socially acceptable to say “looking for friends or the best friends” lol
    I have been trying to make girl friends for three years and I’m have made many virtual friendships that fade away because we never meet and hang out In Person. UGH!!
    I’m in the LA, California area (: haha

  • You find it difficult because you are more attractive than most girls….They envy your looks. Women do this a lot actually, Ive been seeing this since I was like 10 years old.

  • I’m putting myself out there…Who lives in the south Florida area & wants to be my friend dammit?! I’m a female, in my 30’s, I’m a pharmacist, I love traveling & building meaningful relationships, it’s just hard to get that reciprocated back in a consistent manner! Not only that, there is a level of chemistry you need to have in order for it all to work. sigh Who knew getting older would come with these obstacles!? Anyone interested email me! [email protected] gmail.com🙂

  • I’m a guy
    and I have friends but still feel alone��
    I don’t have a desire for my life.
    and i have never felt that i have a soul dude that i can trust him totally and share with him everything��

  • I have a theory that social media and movies today give us an unrealistic expectation of what friendships should be like, so when our own friendships with others don’t measure up it leaves us feeling inadequate.

  • i always feel so embarrassed to say that i have only a few friends. or that i don’t text or snapchat other people that often �� plus the few friends i have i consider to be my best friends, but tbh i don’t think they see me that way. i think to them i’m just a friend, not even close to their best friend. i also feel like everyone i meet already has tons of friends, so they’re not that interested in befriending me. everyone i talk to just seems sort of bored or uninterested, so my anxiety goes through the roof trying to chat with them �� idk sorry i needed to rant. been a rough day lmao

  • Thank you so much for making this! I moved to NYC 8 years ago for college, and unfortunately, after college, most of my friends left the city and I also was working at a new company. For a couple years, my girlfriend was truly one of my only friends (as well as one of her close friends but we didn’t see her much). I started a book club in January and have since made some new friends and have found the tips you mentioned to be really helpful. One of the things I’m nervous about is wondering when it will get to the point that some of us are really comfortable with each other and truly are best friends. Also, going to use some of these tips to continue meeting people and finding other friends. I think especially in longer-term relationships, it’s important to have platonic relationships as well and I’ve seen in just the past months how healthy this has been for us to meet new people!

  • Well I know this is a Girl Talk but it’s hard for me to make friends because people think I’m a bad person since I am from Afghanistan since my country is a warland

  • After I got engaged last year, all my close friends ive known for 10 years stopped talking to me except for my bff. I’ve reached out many times and never got an answer. It is a little heartbreaking.

  • i have like no friends and when i try to hang out with anyone it drains me and i think it’s because i put too much pressure on there being a connection or like enjoying their company. but it’s easier with guys i don’t know why. it’s really hard to make friends without it feeling forced

  • 1. Living in a densly populated area helps vs somewhere thats spread out like houston.
    2. Try being an interesting person. Have hobbies like the gym or interests like exotic pets.. that way you can bond over people w common interests

  • Hey, I don’t think we met before, I’m Brian (this works great but what you didn’t hear is me stuttering on the B in my own name. I hate speaking to speaking to people in person because I stutter on giving my own name, that just makes everyone uncomfortable.)

  • I wish I could make new friends at 37 to replace the toxic ones I made in my late teens and early 20’s who all turned out to have personality disorders and covertly made me their abuse toy. A decade of my life wasted on those animals.

  • I thought kids make friends easily because they are all forced to live in the same environment full of similar aged ppl 5 times a week.. if i try to spend time with someone now, we have to schedule two weeks in advance

  • hi, Ingrid!
    Thank you so much!!!
    This is the video that I really wanted so baddly. Few months ago I quit my Job and decided to move on to new chapter in my life. Recently I just moved to Singapore and I’m living here alone.

    For me, I feel like this subject is awkward and shame when you have zero friends around you.
    Me being adults here, It’s also feels wierd to let anyone knows that I’m not good at socializing.

    BUT, to hearing you saying that it’s ok to express that feelings to other people was kind of amazing things that I learn from you.

    Huge thanks to you.

  • Dang dude! This is a beautiful video!

    My brain works kind of like Hank’s does to so I think I follow and I just really like talking about it thoughtfully.
    Like he said, understanding it better.

  • I have a twin and we both feel lonely sometimes ����‍♀️ you just need other relationships, but I’m really in a drought with friends at the moment����‍♀️ it’ll get better ����‍♀️

  • Just graduated from university, having a hard time finding work and feeling really disconnected from the world outside of my family life… I just feel drained by nothing. Girls are really really difficult to connect with for me it seems. I feel like I’m a good girlfriend in romantic relationships, but friends have always been hard to sustain. I dunno, I feel like it’s just a “me” issue but odds are it’s not. I’m off Instagram and Twitter Facebook etc, because I wanted to be more grounded in the world… but it kinda of made me feel less present.

  • i’m only in college but it feels like everyone i try to befriend seems to have better things to do and existing friends they’d rather be with. i don’t know how to market myself as a friend:(

  • Somehow I become salty, listing to a young attractive outgoing man with an accent tell me about how he met all his friends going to parties and clubs.

  • What if that crack head/drug addict is recovering and trying to make friends but, now since you said don’t hang out with that person no one wants to hang out with the recovering addict because of the bad stigma tied to that person? Is it just better for that person to go use drugs until death takes out that person?

  • Q. How would someone who has been a lifetime teetotaler make friends? When you think how much of life is surrounded by alcohol and how much socializing does too -take for example 3 main soaps Corrie,Eastenders and Emmerdale -all based mainly around a pub.It’s not just pubs it’s a big part of most peoples lives,wedding,birthdays,meals or just at home.Of course there are many places to start that doesn’t involve alcohol but somewhere it will turn up it’s almost impossible to avoid in most situations.

  • This is so crazy and has nothing to do with this video but I’ve been watching you since I was like 13 years old and I’m 22 now. What the hell!! It’s so insane!

  • Terrible assessment. That’s not why it’s hard to make friends as an adult. As an adult you only have so much free time that you could spend with friends, usually a few hours a week, or less. So you aren’t going to waste that time on anyone who isn’t like yourself. And on top of that you have to somehow sift through people to find someone that’s enough like you that you’re willing to give up your free time to spend with them. Kids have all the time in the world and no responsibilities, so it’s easy for them to invest their limitless time into people that aren’t like them. They can make a new crop of friends every week.

  • I am 40, back then i have 5 best friends. Now they all have children and busy working. If anyone here feels the same and wants to talk or be my friend pls chat.

  • 2:12 If thinking other people are a big deal and caring what they think about you matters is the basis of friendship, maybe that’s why I’ve never been good at friendship, even as a child. Except for when I was very insecure in middle school, I’ve never thought other people were a big deal (they are just other humans) and I don’t care what people’s opinion of me is.

  • 3:21
    That happened with a former friend of mine. This past month I did that, but even though we ere friends before, this time sround I didn’t get anything back from him. So I just moved on from him.

  • Based on a comment below (@Cerise Nébuleuse) it would be great to have little minigroups based in our local areas. So for example, I’m in Dublin Ireland any other viewers? I’d say there are tons of MarieTV viewers NYC. Maybe they could get together for coffee!

  • I think friendship as children also has the benefit that children are allowed to be candid when they don’t like each other’s behavior: “Quit being a jerk! That’s mine let go! If you can’t share, then go home! If you can’t respect boundaries, then you’re not invited!” As we get older, we are expected to not be so open about our disapproval of the behavior of others it can actually be dangerous to be candid, if the other guy is big, angry, and has a weapon or has a say in your job security so people just do a much more cautious dance of getting to know each other.

  • I thought kids make friends easily because they are all forced to live in the same environment full of similar aged ppl 5 times a week.. if i try to spend time with someone now, we have to schedule two weeks in advance

  • When I moved from Utah from Arkansas for college, my mom got REALLY upset if I did not talk to her every. single. day. She’s backed off a bit since I got married, but I can agree that it made me kind of resent her because I was obviously very busy.

  • Hank, you must do a follow-up video on this because you’ve hit the heart of the problem on the head here. How do we draw our eyes away from distraction and start valuing/prioritizing (and being valued/prioritized) actual people in our lives again? Adults in past eras didn’t have this problem, did they? It must be linked to our digital age of overstimulation/information saturation, right?

  • What i good video. I stayed home from church today. I told my husband to go ahead work the kids because I’m not feeling good. I was going to go kill myself in the backyard. I’m so lonely and i feel it must be because I’m such a piece of garbage that even at church i feel like an outsider. Something told me, hey go grab your best and only friend the phone and maybe you’ll find am answer. I typed how do i make friends I’m an adult. And here’s this video. I thought the guy looked friendly. The kind of guy that wouldn’t make fun of me to make others laugh. And it was so lovely and simple and gave me a new perspectiveon my situation. I feel good enough to try again.

  • I made a few good friends when I was young, but I did not make friends easily. It took a while for me to make my first female friend (who was just a friend) no I did not try to make “those kinds of friends” (f*** buddies) as a young teenage man.

  • You guys living in your own countries are so lucky lol
    Just talk to people, It’s hard for the first 2 seconds but once the other person starts talking back it’s like talking to people you already now (mom, friends, etc..)
    Now, I live in a foreign country where i don’t speak the local language and not everyone speaks English. That’s HARD hahaha

  • I also think that most adult lives are not structured to create conditions where friendship can thrive. As kids, you spend all day at school doing the same activities as your peers. You have the time needed to get to know your peers, and a mutual bond. Children share similar interests more easily, since playing games, toys, and cartoons are near universal for kids. Any kid can see any other kid and be near certain they can find common ground.

    As adults, we may spend a fair amount of time near our coworkers….but for many professions most of that time is spent socializing with customers rather than coworkers…or nose deep in the work that needs doing. Even in careers that are more team oriented, professionalism sucks genuineness out of social interactions. After work, we go right home. We don’t have the time needed to genuinely get to know people. Our interests in movies and hobbies get more specific. An adult who loves sports will have to work harder to connect with another adult that loves painting.

    My experience was that in 2 years seeing my workers at my office job, I didn’t meet anyone I was close enough to that I wanted to invite to hang out after work. In the 6 months I’ve been training kung fu in China? I’ve made dozens of deep bonds that I would travel the world to maintain. The key to making friends as an adult? Do something you’re passionate about on a regular basis in the same place, with other people who are passionate about it. In a relaxed environment where people are free to be themselves.

  • I think it really has to do with how we conceptualize community. I think that in most (capitalist) countries the nuclear family is the main unit. The emphasis we have on romantic love, coupled with a 40hr + work week, supports a structure where most people have time for their job, and less emotional energy ready to give to others (which is often taken up with their romantic partner). So people outside of this paradigm find it hard to make friends, and people inside the paradigm will be less likely to search out or try to find others. I think we gotta reconceptualize what community looks like!

  • My husband and I moved to Dallas Texas area and my husband was always a guy that could make friends easily in school and in his twenties but in his thirties all his friends have moved to a different state or died. I think he is getting lonely. He said he misses having guy friends he was a great football, baseball and basketball player but developed lung issues in his thirties and can no longer play sports at 41 years old. He also likes video gaming, Madden Sports and Final Fantasy. He recently learned chess, likes comedy shows, morning sports shows and likes to talk politics with people with different viewpoints. He is not into church and most of his past friends have been a little on the wild side although my husband is generally the quite one in the corner laughing and people watching and egging them on. Anyway, I’m just saying this so other guys out there know they are not alone. If anyone has any ideas that I can forward to him on ways to meet people that aren’t as awkward as speed dating like the extremely brave guy in this video let me know. Good luck

  • Thanks for this! I moved to a different country and have been struggling to meet people & make friends. I’m also an introvert:/
    I finally decided to join a few Meetup communities for expats and have been to a few events. I had some good conversations with a few people, so I’m off to a good start! ��

  • I live abroad and literally I have no friends here… I have a girlfriend here but it still feels extremely lonely and I just don’t know why…

  • it’s so easy to make friends when youre seeing the same people 5 days a week for most of your school years. what if you don’t have a job working with other people? where do you meet anyone?

  • This is gonna sound bad but I think that the core root of my problems with making friends as an adult is that I feel like I’ve outgrown a lot of the expectations I used to put on my friends and myself as a child. I want to be liked but I’m not willing to change too much about myself because that would be inauthentic and in many ways a detriment both to me and to the person I’m trying to be friends with.
    Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) along with outgrowing “people pleasing” mentalities, I’ve also outgrown many people who expect to be pleased…
    Leaving me in a difficult place to make new friends in a new town as an adult who doesn’t play sports, have children, hobbies or much of a life to begin with…
    I sound super lame.
    …I AM super lame.

  • IMO, it’s easier to make friends when you’re a kid because you’re stuck in a box all day every weekday with people who have (approximately) the same amount of power as you. As soon as either 1) you’re not forced to see each other constantly or 2) there is a power imbalance, friendships become almost impossible to form. I was super awkward and weird but I made friends in school just by dint of seeing them everyday. I was able to make friends at work for the same reason. Now that I work from home, I have… one friend?

    I do understand the idea of not valuing people as much, though. When you’re still in the box, you have to make do with what you’ve got (and you’d better not make enemies or you’re stuck with them for 4-12 years). Once you’re out of the ‘box’, and you can theoretically make friends with anyone, it’s easy to discard people and be discarded and pretend that’s okay.

  • Okay but how do you find friends to value? My biggest issue is figuring out how to say “I really want to be your friend” without being weird.

  • The problem with making friends for some people (like me) isn’t the fact that we have the wrong mentality or decline requests. It’s the fact that OTHER people always decline requests and seem uninterested in hanging out. It’s hard to do anything about other people! That doesn’t hinder them from making friends however for some weird reason, why do people want to hang with them when they always say no? I always show excitement like mentioned in the video and are always open for hanging out with people but I am still lonelier than most. My experience is that people are very picky and not only picky but very absorbed and busy all the time.
    I find it peculiar that so many people here are lonely, because if you were in my vicinity I would invite you and you would probably decline. Statistically it can’t be true that everyone here including me happens to talk to exactly those people that are uninterested and magically miss all the people open for contact. That can’t be true, I think it’s just most people saying they are lonely and open but when you invite them they still decline.

  • I’m 20, currently my 3rd year at University and haven’t made any close friends. Probably just a couple distant aquitsnces, I say yes to every invite and try to go to every event but never any luck… I find myself alone most of the time, what makes it worse I go to a huge party school every parties except I’m not much of a party person. Been there a few times but I just stood there like an idiot. Ahhhhhh regardless, great video Hank!

  • Good advice, but implementing it is the hard part. Long ago I read a survey that noted that men tend to make very few friends after they leave school (whether high school or college). Based on my experience, that’s largely true. Why do women make friends more easily?

  • Earlier this year my best friend of 20 years decided that she no longer valued me. It has been tough. It’s made me hesitant in the friendships that I have remaining. She laid out for me all of the reasons why our friendship no longer worked. The thing is, all of those things have been things for many years. So, how long has she wanted to abandon our friendship? Do my current friends want to abandon our friendship? Are they only remaining friends with me because they feel like they have to? These are the questions that invade my brain even more so now. My friend decided she did not value me enough to make time for me. And all of the things I value about myself were road blocks for her. So, how do I get over that insecurity & push myself to work on the friendships that I have remaining & also make new ones?

  • I’m late, but I don’t care, I’m gonna say it anyway, Happy Esther Day. And thank you, Hank, for this kind of video on the channel. I am 25, and I work hard to value people around me, yet it’s been so hard to get the value from them like they don’t take time to know me well. DFTBA, as usual.

  • “I think we forgot how hard we used to work at it” that’s an excellent point. I think we’re also more easily disappointed, or possibly more easily discouraged by disappointment. When I was a kid, finding out that someone didn’t like x thing wasn’t a big deal, and having an awkward moment with someone didn’t make me want to run away screaming and not talk to them anymore. But now, those things are like “guess this isn’t going to work out then.” It’s good to be able to recognise that so I can try and fix that behaviour in the future, so thanks for that.

  • Hank, by chance I traveled to visit family half the US away on Esther Day this year. It was for a funeral for a departed grandparent, but it was a good reunion. I hadn’t seen any blood relatives in years. It ended up being the best trip to see family I’ve ever had. My closest family has always had severe problems with drugs and abuse. It was an incredible treat when I flew in and was told my sister had been clean of substances for ten months. I hadn’t talked to her for five or six years. She apologized for her misdeeds, the stealing and lying and general bad sisterhood. I was receptive, which was a challenge for me. We have a relationship that has been blessed by Esther, I feel like. Just good timing ��

  • I think you forgot a really important point, it’s to be friend with yourself first (like Tyler Durden lol jk); if you go out and address people while being uneasy with yourself they’ll look at you as if you were desperate for company… unfortunately they will not riposte positively in a way of helping you but they’ll see you as a lonely nerd who has never experienced friendship before (90% of the time because there are still decent folks out there).

  • What I usually do is follow people around until they notice me. Then they’ll say something like; “ARE YOU STALKING ME?!?!?!”..Or, “WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU, CREEP?!!!”….Something to that effect….Those are usually ice-breakers..Get’s all of the formalities of the usual uncomfortable introduction process out of the way.

  • Great video. I think another challenge to make friends as an adult is not having endless hours of unstructured time to just hang out like we did when we were kids. Being bored, laying in our rooms talking, were the times when those early friendships were formed. Finding or making hang-out time is harder as an adult, especially after becoming a parent.

  • Everyone I’ve ever known who’s had lots of friends as an adult has gone out of their way to work hard at it. They remember birthdays, random things you told them about your lives, and reach out to make plans. I think that it takes a lot more effort as an adult sometimes and often we’re waiting for someone to do this work. Just do it, you have nothing to lose.

  • Hello Hank. I’m currently attending uni (short for university; I think that’s an Aussie thing (sort for Australian… (moving on))) as a mature aged student and this has been on my mind a lot too. Thanks for making this video. From Christina.

  • The devaluation of friendship by adults is one of the thing that makes me saddest in my life. Got lied to by all those found families stories I read I guess.

  • 3:21
    That happened with a former friend of mine. This past month I did that, but even though we ere friends before, this time sround I didn’t get anything back from him. So I just moved on from him.

  • Actually talk and respond to randoms on the street…this type of stuff is important, i moved to a major city and no one did this, the ones who actually did were friendly, networking is an important part and one we must all play a role of.

  • Wow, that’s so funny, told a good friend that too without even knowing the context of the day (last week now). Hope it made their day better!

  • How about, as we go along in life, we see and are amongst so may folks that we needn’t interact with. We get used to not interacting with. If we try to have relationships with so many folks, we’d go mad. So default becomes ignore. And we get used to tending to our own needs in a crowd

  • I really appreciate the alternate to sending Christmas cards that Esther Day provides: a day in summer to snail-mail expressions of platonic love to friends & family when it is unexpected and can really be taken in by the receiver. I think I’ve said before: I can’t really say I love Hank or John or Nerdfighters in general (except my fellow Nerdfightin’ husband:) ) but I surely do appreciate, like, respect and care about you guys. Thank you for all you do.

  • I don’t have trouble making friends with the people I do meet as an adult, but I legitimately meet a much smaller pool of people. Also, the worst part about adult friendships is much work has to happen on both sides to keep friendships going when people move away/on with life.

  • Thanks so much for posting this!! �� I’m in my early 30s and i feel like friends are moving away or going to their next life stage that i cant quite relate to yet. I have definitely wondered how to meet new friends now that i’m done with school and outside of work haha, and its reassuring to hear i’m not the only one.:)

  • I was in love with a girl, we went out for a few months then she wanted us to be friend instead. After over a year of this I feel I was just getting myself hurt. It seems ironic now since I cut ties with her on the 3rd August. At least it ended on good terms

  • Staying connected with family far away isn’t always hard. Just share your life, randomly, share what your thinking about and what is going on with the rest of your family. We use messenger a lot sending pictures, articles, virtual hugs and everything else. Yep it’s easy when you know you’re valued.

  • Wow. This is great. I just watched the video now, but i makes me understand myself so much better.
    I always had trouble creating a deep friendship with someone, of course you would talk about stuff but not feelings or yourself personally.

    Just a few days ago i met this awesome girl and from the first hour or two we talked it was different, and i think it is because I changed over the course of the last weeks and months. I appreciate other people and their lives more and i have a deeper desire to talk about more than just stuff.

    This helped me understand what was different this time. Thank you, i really like content like this, keep doing it, you are awesome.

  • This makes so much sense to me! Ive always found it fairly easy to make friends as an adult and thats because when i meet a person (usually a cool person because people are neet) im like “oh wow this person is really awesome and i value them and i want them to be my friend!” maybe thats why its never been hard for me???

  • It’s also hard to make friends in a healthy way as an adult diverging off of what you said about the intrinsic value that young kids have in each other when your own self talk devalues you, because then you come to the table thinking that you have little/less to offer to a friend-relation-ship, and then may compensate by trying to continuously make excessive contributions or fear saying “no” to the other person even when it’s a perfectly acceptable response based on your time and resources, and then may become concerned as to why the other person in the friendship doesn’t respond in-kind even if they are contributing a good amount to the friendship and it’s only by comparison that the relationship is imbalanced. You may become anxious or start to burn out, and all the while the other person may want to help, but has absolutely no idea when/how this all got started.
    Or maybe that’s just me, but its something I have actively had to work on in adult friendships.

  • Great video and advice. It is SO HARD to make friends as an adult. Especially if you move around. I am 31 and am trying to meet new people and have friends other then my boyfriend. Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Visually impared made friends or thought i did usually i’d be left out never actually got included. I hate being lonely but I don’t understand how to connect with people

  • I’m not sure I agree with Hank for the reason people have difficulty make friends in adulthood. I don’t think it is difficulty in valuing other people, but simply a lack of repeated social activities with others other than work, and co-workers often don’t share your recreational social preferences.

    My advice for making friends as an adult: join some Meetup groups (or similar) centered around activities you are interested in and attend a few of their events. Scheduled events around a pre-specified activity not only assure you have at least some common interest in other participants, but also provides a structure for initial interactions, which can ease the awkwardness of meeting new people. Become a regular at one or two you enjoy most. You will likely develop friendships naturally out of these situations.

  • In the 21st century, humans are incapable of true friendship and true love. It is best to only interact with humans in a manner as a client would interact with a service provider or a merchant. Being social served humanity very well in the very early 20th century and before that. However, the structure of society has changed very drastically since 2000. Today, true friends and true mate are impossible. Those that will try to pass themselves as your friend will be the first to use betray and painfully abandon you. They are false friends or enemies in disguise. We are no longer sharing hunting grounds with bears, wolves, wildcats and rival hunting groups. Herding together is no longer necessary. Of course the instinct to herd will still be there. However, humans can function beyound their instinctual programming. The benefits of being alone, without friends and a mate, far outweigh the negatives of being lonely. I recommend all try it.

  • Oh gosh, I feel like I so agree with Hank. Scheduling to talk on Skype with my parents is the best thing I did since I went to college. A hell lot less nagging from my mum and less resentment from me.

  • Do people really find making friends harder as an adult? I didn’t have any friends at all for the first ten years of my life, and hardly any until college, then in my first year of college I gained like 20 friends.

  • I always found it strange that they only say they love each other once a year… I tell my brother I love him pretty much every time I speak to him.

  • Maintaining genuine interest in people? Like, you don’t have to be super hyped about idk, skeet shooting, Irish fiddle music, or textile weaving, but being able to listen to a person discuss things they are passionate about really helps with the investment in the other person’s life. Plus, who knows, you might secretly be an Ace Tin Whistle player, and suddenly you are in a celtic folk band.

  • comment…

    Preet Ghuman
    This isn’t easy as it seems and I try a lot and I ask questions but people don’t seem interested to form a friendship. I’m thinking about volunteering so does anyone know how to make a good friend as volunteering and where should I volunteer where I can meet people everyday I’m from surrey

  • Hello guys and girls, I «help people to develop social skills and make more friends». If you are interested in know more, just reach out to me: https://www.facebook.com/groups/484755922435569/

  • A dude came over to buy a snow plow on a Jeep and we hit it off so naturally, it was like being in elementary school or something. Then he had to move 3 years later. It was cool bc he was a stay at home dad and I was too after retiring so we had lots of time to hangout and help each other do projects, work in cars, drink beer and talk politics and works affairs.

    I’m married with kids, mid 40s now. Retired from Air Force at 39 and moved to Western Colorado in a rural area where we knew no one. 7 years later and still we know no one beyond superficial level. People are closed off or too busy, or both in our band of small communities. What’s hard for 30s+ people is finding people they connect with where both spouses like to be around each other also. Otherwise it’s just a weird thing or makes one choose times to be apart. Come back when you’re 45, kids, and no working environment and tell me how it works out then! Lol

  • I end up only making friends abroad on holiday. When I go back home, I get sucked into school and work and I never have time or energy to go out or even nourish the friendships I make there.

  • The most unique way I ever made a friend was in a mental hospital. I had been there for almost a week at that point after a suicide attempt. There was a new girl who was brought in after her own suicide attempt. She was just standing in the corner. I could empathize with how scared she was. So i got her a cup of ice water and introduced myself. Then i walked away. We ended up being roommates and even keeping contact after we were discharged.

  • My very very first Bumble BFF date I found one of my best friends!! We met last May and we see each other almost every week. Honestly 10/10 I was so nervous but when we couldn’t stop chatting over the app we decided it was worth it to take the risk to meet! And then we hardly stopped talking on our friend date!

  • This is so crazy and has nothing to do with this video but I’ve been watching you since I was like 13 years old and I’m 22 now. What the hell!! It’s so insane!

  • Social media is fine for attractive 20-somethings but ageism is alive and well when you pass 30. Bumble asks for your age right up front so if you’re over 30 you’ll be swipped past before they even look at your picture. Meetup doesn’t ask for age but a good number of the groups are age restricted. (One wonders what happens with the organizers of a 20-30 group turn 31?). Age is fine for dating apps but shouldn’t be a deal breaker for casual friendships.

  • You can easily make friends if your a young,attractive, outgoing female such as Tali. If she would don a fat suit or had a disability, she would learn very quickly how incredibly hard it would be to make good friends.Over time, being ignored, left out will take a toll on anyone even if you had a great personality, and had a positive attitude. You will be worn down and face reality. People are very judgmental and your face represents 90% oh how people will react to you especially good looking men. Life is not fair. Even females judge others females on how she looks. Being born pretty is like winning life lottery. You have a completely different life than a girl born with disability or overweight. Pretty girls get their hearts broken and not invited to party’s but there are tons of other men willing to date her at the very second she is single and will always be invited to party’s and be well liked.It is the same a guy born rich has a completely different life than a poor guy.

  • I had given up for a while but I will keep trying. Even when you put yourself out there it’s difficult to meet people. Speaking to someone doesn’t mean they will speak back. I signed up for some meet new friends apps, put another ad on Craigslist and tonight I’m going to another meetup group. Wish me luck!

  • It’s easyer for a good looking person to make friends than ugly ass people like me. I know for a fact that the good looking person such as the girl speaking here in the video will get attention from every direction and angle without even having to say a word.

  • My daughter just told me I need to reach out and put myself out there. Thx so much for this video! And the site/ app suggestions��

  • Young people who feel bad for watching this….
    Don’t feel bad!
    The older you get it’s more complicated finding and keeping friends

  • I just met a girl on bumble and we have our first brunch next week. I’m super nervous ����‍♀️����‍♀️����‍♀️. Mainly because she is not like other women here. She has her shit all the way together. Oddly enough this is 10x harder than going on a date for me. I wouldn’t be as hurt if someone didnt want to date me as I would be if someone didn’t want to be my friend. That cuts deep lol.

  • thank you for posting this! as an introverted 30 yr old, it has been difficult branching out and trying to meet new people, although it is something I deeply crave! these are all helpful tips on how to meet new friends and I will definitely be getting that book!

  • How can you make friends when you’ve got a bad reputation and a gullible community and a corrupt workforce and corrupt armed forces?