Help My Spouse Does not Would like to get Healthy

 

What to do when your partner is unsupportive | Mel Robbins

Video taken from the channel: Mel Robbins


 

What a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Episode Looks Like

Video taken from the channel: MedCircle


 

9 Ways to Handle A Cold And Distant Spouse

Video taken from the channel: Brad Browning


 

What People With Anxiety Want Their Significant Others to Know

Video taken from the channel: The Mighty


 

What To Do If Your Significant Other Doesn’t Want To Spend Time With You?

Video taken from the channel: Kristin Coaching


 

074: Help! My Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Get Healthy Part 2 by Steve Kamb of Nerd…

Video taken from the channel: Optimal Living Daily


 

073: Help! My Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Get Healthy Part 1 by Steve Kamb of Nerd…

Video taken from the channel: Optimal Living Daily


 

What a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Episode Looks Like

Video taken from the channel: MedCircle


 

9 Ways to Handle A Cold And Distant Spouse

Video taken from the channel: Brad Browning


 

What People With Anxiety Want Their Significant Others to Know

Video taken from the channel: The Mighty


 

What To Do If Your Significant Other Doesn’t Want To Spend Time With You?

Video taken from the channel: Kristin Coaching


 

074: Help! My Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Get Healthy Part 2 by Steve Kamb of Nerd…

Video taken from the channel: Optimal Living Daily


 

073: Help! My Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Get Healthy Part 1 by Steve Kamb of Nerd…

Video taken from the channel: Optimal Living Daily


 

The Truth Behind Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD)

Video taken from the channel: MedCircle


Create a reward system with each other – If you have a significant other that is already interested in getting healthier, spend an hour with each other creating a fun spreadsheet of rewards for each other, keeping it as innocent or not innocent as you want – your call ��. If your partner fails to do so, you might want to reconsider why you’re spending time with someone who doesn’t support your needs and vision. On the other hand, if your significant other isn’t being supportive because you’ve either failed to explain how their behavior makes you feel, or because you’ve failed to give clear examples of how you’d like to be supported, it’s essential that you have a.

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclaimer for more info. Steve Kamb of Nerd Fitness shares how to motivate others to exercise and get healthy. This is Part 1 of 2. Episode 73: Help!

My Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Get Healthy – Part 1 by Steve Kamb of Nerd Fitness (How [ ]. I also think that encouraging a significant other to do what’s healthy can reinforce those behaviors. For example, socializing can be very difficult for somebody going through depression. Relationships affect everything: your health, work life, career, and more. Make sure yours are healthy and help you become more successful, not less.

If these keep showing up, it’s time to get. Be honest with the other person without being vague or going into long explanations for why you no longer want to stay together. Own the breakup Listen to.

Finances are something to discuss with your significant other, but they should never spend your money that you don’t want them to spend. or health matters, your partner doesn’t. The best way to help is not to point out what your partner is doing wrong, but instead consistently and casually offer healthy options in a non-judgmental fashion. When my hubby and I met, there were many healthy foods he’d never tried, like hummus and roasted Brussels sprouts. If both of you are willing, a therapist can help you to move beyond this impasse and have a more productive conversation.

If he is unwilling to engage in therapy with you, it might be a good idea. However, if that is not the case with your relationship, yet they won’t introduce you to friends as a significant other, then consider it a red flag. If you are spending time on this relationship.

List of related literature:

Support her efforts by making healthy changes to your lifestyle as well.

“Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide” by Janet Walley, Penny Simkin, Ann Keppler, Janelle Durham, April Bolding
from Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide
by Janet Walley, Penny Simkin, et. al.
Meadowbrook, 2016

Another is staying healthy—we both struggle with this one, but we try to remind each other to take a break, exercise, go to the doctor when we’re sick, and just take care of ourselves.

“Lazy, Crazy, and Disgusting: Stigma and the Undoing of Global Health” by Alexandra Brewis, Amber Wutich
from Lazy, Crazy, and Disgusting: Stigma and the Undoing of Global Health
by Alexandra Brewis, Amber Wutich
Johns Hopkins University Press, 2019

When you really understand that getting healthy is about love, you stop saying things about getting healthy being hard, expensive, or boring, or about not wanting to deprive yourself.

“Feel Better Fast and Make It Last: Unlock Your Brain’s Healing Potential to Overcome Negativity, Anxiety, Anger, Stress, and Trauma” by Dr. Daniel G. Amen
from Feel Better Fast and Make It Last: Unlock Your Brain’s Healing Potential to Overcome Negativity, Anxiety, Anger, Stress, and Trauma
by Dr. Daniel G. Amen
Tyndale House Publishers, Incorporated, 2018

Her doctors tell her to exercise and make healthy food choices.

“Foundations of Interprofessional Collaborative Practice in Health Care E-Book” by Margaret Slusser, Luis I. Garcia, Carole-Rae Reed, Patricia Quinn McGinnis
from Foundations of Interprofessional Collaborative Practice in Health Care E-Book
by Margaret Slusser, Luis I. Garcia, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2018

Or maybe she sees your efforts to get healthy as an unwelcome mirror for her own unhealthy habits—and she’d rather sabotage you than make changes herself.

“The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good” by Judith S. Beck, Deborah Beck Busis
from The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good
by Judith S. Beck, Deborah Beck Busis
Hay House, 2015

If you know that she thinks and agrees that being healthy is important, start there.

“How to Get People to Do Stuff: Master the art and science of persuasion and motivation” by Susan Weinschenk
from How to Get People to Do Stuff: Master the art and science of persuasion and motivation
by Susan Weinschenk
Pearson Education, 2013

Boundaries move the relationship to health.

“Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle” by Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel
from Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle
by Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel
Harvest House Publishers, 2006

You may wonder how you can help your partner create a healthy lifestyle, especially if they are ill and have no motivation to change anything.

“Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder: Understanding & Helping Your Partner: Easyread Large Bold Edition” by Julie A. Fast
from Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder: Understanding & Helping Your Partner: Easyread Large Bold Edition
by Julie A. Fast
CREATESPACE PUB, 2009

Also, her stipulation of not having to eat healthy foods that she doesn’t like is inappropriate because the variety of healthy foods she likes is rather limited.

“Wellness and Physical Therapy” by Fair, Sharon Elayne Fair
from Wellness and Physical Therapy
by Fair, Sharon Elayne Fair
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2010

Does she need to learn more about nutrition for healthy living?

“Lifestyle Wellness Coaching” by James Gavin, Madeleine Mcbrearty
from Lifestyle Wellness Coaching
by James Gavin, Madeleine Mcbrearty
Human Kinetics, 2013

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

[email protected]

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  • Do you know anyone with symptoms of paranoid personality disorder?
    Watch the full exclusive MedCircle series on paranoid personality disorder HERE: https://bit.ly/3gFMPjz

  • God never promised an easy marriage but if you value it enough you will put whatever you need to in it. Funny how you people are quick to call him an idiot or a moroon but if that’s the case why did u all watch the video?? We are to love our spouse as God loves the church and he sent his own son to die on the cross to demonstrate his love so doesn’t seem to difficult to put some effort into your marriage. There’s no perfect relationship and i have been the distant partner before and we made it thru it I am now on the other side of things with my husband being the distant one. We have been married 17 years and it was the act of kindness and love that saved us when I was the distant one just praying it will save us again, I will be taking what I learned from this and using it.. thank you so much for this video

  • Lol everything is a disorder today. What even is classified as normal? They’ve created a “disorder” to label everyone and sell them meds and “treatment”. Get off YouTube folks.

  • if wifei is distant and dont want to talk… the posibilities of the problem having a man name are pretty higth….. well
    I aproach one time, if she dont want to talk I dont beg people soooo, take your dignity and walk your own way again

  • Paranoid people can be dangerous to interact with, I wouldnt diminish paranoia into hypersensitivity because of the above. Bulky people who claim that are being watched, monitored, by neighbours, are often violent freaks. They often come to paranoid conclusions in their sick brains, which requires them to retaliate actions of their imaginary enemies which are often next of keen, friends, neighbors etc children. Dont under estimate the violent potential of the paranoid freaks.

  • Never had these problemsuntil I dealt with narcissistic abuse. Now, I deal with all of this and it sucks so badly. I only think the people that want to hurt me are narcs or strange men (my ex-narc that is still in my life, my mother) I’ve endured a lot of abuse. I have 10 ACES and ongoing trauma as an adult. I want to get better. I know my paranoid thoughts are paranoid and I usually have power over them, but my trust is so wrecked after my narc ex.

  • In my mind everyone is out to get me i dont wanna go outside because im scared for my life what can i do please help me it destroys my life completely

  • I used to constantly change my name or I would never tell people my real name. I shut my windows because I feel like I’m being recorded by neighbours or watched. I cannot develop close bonds to people because if they make a hurtful comment I cannot trust them ever again no matter how hard I try. It’s very lonely and tiring existence.

  • It seems like there are a lot of gullible people out there. I’m intelligent because I don’t believe everything. I take my medicine every day so that I see reality. I believe that people want to harm me because no one trusts people with my diagnosis. I hate aggressive drivers and people who shout out insults. I hate people who call themselves, they call themselves angels that can’t trust me because of my damn diagnosis. This lady seems like she’s adding to the stigma. She doesn’t know me. This is the year of Corona virus. What do you call a schizophrenic who has to deal with an overreaction? I’m anxious as hell. People stereotype middle aged people as Karen’s. It seems like the word is a word that is used by many
    paranoid people. I have been around psychotic people. I have been screamed at. I have been ignored. I feel like a scapegoat. The stigma is for me than many. Insecure people love to talk about how scared they are without evidence that someone who has mental illness is harmful. A woman said that I can’t work with knives because of my diagnosis. If you don’t respect me, why should I respect you? I had a psychiatrist who talked about my private parts. This lady seems like she has grandiose delusions that she is an expert on whatever. She is so sure of herself

  • I don’t know about you, but I have been bullied in high school. I listened to three kids sing, “Go down Moses. Go down into the gas chambers.” I went to a Quacker school where I found myself complimenting the students. I didn’t have one. One day, I caught a girl say that I am f—— up to other students. My diagnosis is schizo affective. I’m not a narcissist. I guess that I have this diagnosis because my spastic is dark.

  • I oftent feel ashamed and will keep my anxiety to myself. it’s not that i don’t trust u. it’s that i don’t like feeling weak and helpless in front of u

  • It’s so disappointing when the person you married has changed so much that they are no longer really alive but something has taken over their body. They are just a shell, it’s so sad to miss the old person and that is ok just a memory in time, a time in history that has now passed and they are no longer on earth. So disappointing they could come back only if they believed in good but they don’t and nothing can be done to snap them out of it, it’s over.

  • I think it’s over kill to attach ppd to belief in “conspiracy theory”. Although some conspiracies are clearly not based in reality, other theories are actually a clearer picture of our world (for instance the US government was complicit in murdering MLK which was a “conspiracy theory” until 30 years later when it was proven in a court of law). By saying that paranoid conspiracy believers will look for evidence to support their “paranoia”, she’s being dismissive. She also said that persons with ppd will look for any little shred of information (she called it gossip) to support their beliefs. A great way for well established people in a given field to discredit supporters of less popular (but potentially more valid and correct) beliefs is to question the outsider’s mental state. I think its important to allow new theories, new perspectives, and new possibilities to have it’s fair share of a person’s mental space. To be sure, I don’t disagree with her insight about a person who suffers from ppd having hypersensitivity and paranoid distrust. I just think it’s a bit unfair to keep attempting to connect ppd to “conspiracy theory”.

  • My ex girlfriend had this and I can say I feel so bad for her be carful anyone who thinks you can have a meaningful relationship they will dissapear without a trace and have no concept of your feelings she bought into the targeted individual theory and acusused me of trying to poison and murder her and thinks that a 2 and a half year relationship my job was to keep electronic symptoms upon her it’s a no hope situation

  • I often feel like someone is out to get me wanting to hurt me I offen try to learn way to protect myself, it’s hard to sleep at night because I feel like someone is outside ready to kill me and my family at any second if I could I’d make myself a room with no door no windows just unbreakable walls. I’m constantly scared I cant even sleep without a constant noise like a fan to keep me feeling safe because quietness is terrifying! I got so scared my mom would die that I’d never leave her side I’d always go shopping or go on 10 hour road trips just to calm my nerves I keep sacrificing my happiness and time doing anything to be around her, and that’s what I’m like around all my friends people have even called me a slave to my friends because I would stand up to them even though I knew it was none of my business and I’d get hurt for them I’d let them stab me without stopping them, I’m rambling sorry, I use to think this was all just anxiety but I think its something more I never feel safe unless I’m distracted that’s why I love YouTube so much its distracting it make me feel correct not worrying about everything. Wow writing this all out made me feel better wow

  • Hi there I think that I have this disorder plus avoidant personality and maybe more. Can I ask what effects will intensify if you called your partner on unfaithfulness and were correct. Instead of how you said they accuse them but they aren’t cheating.

  • This is my dad 100%. He seems so high functioning because he works and lives by himself and takes care of himself but his extreme distrust of everyone has negatively affected his life so much and has pushed everyone away from him. I’m the only person he’s got because the rest of his family just doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. I’ve been trying to convince him to get help for years and the worst part is that he is so deeply in denial that he doesnt believe there is anything wrong with him. All of his delusions are so real to him. They all sound completely logical to him. One time for example, there was a dead bird on his patio. I had automatically assumed the bird flew into the window, because that was just the logical conclusion most people would make. But my dad, he had actually thought that one of his neighbours had thrown a dead bird on his patio because he got a sense that they didn’t like him. He moves from job to job and place to place with a pattern of distrust everywhere he goes. He claims that every single person he has ever lived with has been stealing from him (he always rents out a room in someone’s house). Also, he always thinks that his coworkers are sabotaging his work (he is a welder). He dated a couple of women back when I was a teenager and in both of those relationships, he was constantly accusing them of cheating on him. But here’s the catch. With me. His teenage son. The only “evidence” was that I was up all night talking in the living room. I was actually always up all night playing Call of Duty and chatting with my friends because that’s what teenagers do. But no, he thought I was trying to steal his middle aged Filipino girlfriend. Another time he couldn’t find a salad in his fridge and accused me of stealing his keys, giving them to my mother (who he has had a 23 year grudge against) so my mother could copy the keys to his house, then returned his own keys so he wouldn’t notice they were missing. Then he thought that my mom must have been in the house and took the salad. Because that was the only logical explanation.

  • Well well…I don’t know what happened to the good ol’ days.
    Some people have to remember some things kill romance and some bring romance back.

    Some folks cut the partner off and spent the rest of their lives on the TV and social media. Households have no privacy anymore with friends and family who are always present through the door or social media. It’s bad enough if the partner is stuck in some weird situation they have no control over and don’t want the other partner to know or help. That’s some weird stuff in there hey. Sometimes it’s hard to appeal to your partner if you ignore your personal hygiene or sense of fashion…let alone bad diet and some personal habits.

    What happened to old good days when a woman’s way to a man was through his stomach… beautiful delicious and nutritious food. And your partner would help with cutting vegetables and doing dish and all that. And a good glass of your favorite drink also that would lead to other activities of the evening.

    Beautiful movies and TV shows or drama. You know…keep the fun and love in the family. Pull the house phone off the wall or switch the wi-fi off. And those in-laws keep them away for a few weeks and do ya thang! Good old music and stuff like that.

    Couples used to go on cheap get-aways… breath freshness of nature and being away from home. Damn…how did we all go wrong.

    People needs to do what works only for them. We can’t always be looking for textbook on marriage.

  • Yeah i have impulsive type bpd and was binge drinking over a period of time which basically made me feel like a total Ahole and lost me the woman i love as she couldn’t cope anymore with it. Have felt completely worthless ever since

  • I feel awful after i have an episode
    I feel like
    How could ihave just acted like this!!!
    But
    One really cant understand y or how
    Its alot

  • Now I know what my mother in law has…OCPD. White couches, white carpets, white sheets, white towels, no grandchildren allowed to visit.

  • To anyone who might be diagnosed with PPD or have loved ones with PPD, I just my love and prayers goes out to all of yall, it is really hard to live with such people but God has a plan for all of us, stay positive.

  • I have this IV realised…. Have been told by my g.p it’s bi pola but I’m sure it’s this.. seems very clear. Scary hard disorder

  • The more EMF pollution we have, the worse people seem to be acting. The more paranoid and sensitive people are getting. Ironic? Cohen-cidence?

  • I have always thought my ex was a narcissist, but it might be PPD. He always thinks I am talking behind his back and everything I do or say is some how to hurt him. I ask him to show me facts on why he thinks what he thinks and he wont. He makes up crazy stories and acts like he knows they are facts. He tells everyone he knows stuff about me and they believe his stories bc they only hear his side. No matter what I say or what evidence I show he still thinks I’m “playing games”. We have a child together and he tells her I am brainwashing her and turning her against him and talks about me very negative constantly. She tells him that what he thinks is not true but he doesnt believe it. This is the worst situation and there is nothing I can do about it and now my daughter is dealing with it also.

  • Can you talk about people who try to trigger or intentionally cause these kinds of disorders? Kind of like the movie gaslight. The character in the movie had an agenda to purposefully cause a mental breakdown or confusion which as a result the victim will be less trusting, paranoid or suffer from PTSD.

  • Can you still have the disorder if you’re aware sometimes that it’s abnormal but can’t stop worrying about it? Because I do all of these things, but you seemed to make it very clear that people who have the disorder aren’t aware that they’re doing it.

  • my ex consistently paranoid me cheating. Check my bed sheet and duvet everyday, questioned any stain he could find on it, accused me had a side partner; I have multiple life; suspected me that I am sex worker; accused someone spam on his underwear, t shirt, pillowcase which all from his mind. when I had a black eyebag after argument with him without good sleep, he suspected that I was dating a gang member. When the painting dropped down to the floor left some white paint stain, he suspected I dated a tradie at home after he went to work. When I ate KFC answering his phone, he fantacied I was sucking someone’s dk. When I drove back on the way home, he questioned my background noise, suspected I was dating someone at beach.even try to meet me on the middle of the way let me pull over, then question me that your mate just jump off? but there’s no one else expect myself. Every stranger turned up in our drive way, he question me, acting like I knew them, they all come for me to have sex. When I had a new job and checked my phone msg from my boss, he accused me I may get my job under table and had crash with my boss, even follow my boss’s facebook threaten me he will contact his wife to reveal our relationship. after consistently argument about this kind of issue everyday,,my immune system unbalance, so bottom has some hash and had some creamy discharge, he suspected I had too much sex with someone else, he checked my neck, my face, smell my hair…..When I wanted to end the relationship, he always blame me I just want a casual relationship and he knew it I had meet someone already. He called my slut, cunt…He never will understand how heartbreaking by his suspicious and paranoid. He never feel tried to continue his “evidence finding ” game on my life. The worse attitude I gave to him, the more worse he played on his game. He doesn’t has a normal logic and analyse, he even don’t feel any wrong of what he thought and spoke. I almost used my life energy to fight back in argument to guard my dignity. at the end I feel so worthless and hopeless after this kind of long time mind abuse. I called the police to end this relationship. I do think he got paranoid disorder, the only thing I want from him is to admit his illness and sick mind, and give me an apologize, but I understand I never will get it. It’s really an heartbreaking, as I gave him 100% faithful and love in that relationship….it’s a nightmare.

  • I lived in a housing building and my neighbor hates me / she gets men to follow me on foot and in cars to the point it has given me extreme anxiety. She sends different people all the time and and it has made me so paranoid but I feel like I have reasons to believe this. My counselor lately think that it’s all I’m my head and unfortunately that’s not true it’s just so sad cause I live alone and it’s like they don’t believe me and there’s no one there to tell them otherwise. I hate my neighbors and I hope god handles them for the trauma they caused

  • Glad the lady isn’t perfect herself considering the restless feet shot in the beginning of this video. But hey, they just might have shot this little scene on purpuse, in order to show that she is just a little like us.

  • All mental health problems are caused by severe calcium deficiency. This begins in the womb or in infancy. The human body can assimilate calcium only from fresh, natural, uncooked foods especially leafy greens and grasses, wheatgrass. Artificial supplements do not work. The best way to get the calcium from greens is through green smoothies.

    Brain chemical imbalances have never been proved.

    One of the reasons why mental health problems generally develop or manifest in late adolescence is because of the body’s need for tremendous amounts of calcium due to the sudden spurt in physical growth.

    Calcium is needed for proper neurotransmitter function.

    It is also important to minimise chronic cellular inflammation by avoiding white sugar, refined carbs and oils and fats that increase cellular inflammation.

    Cellular inflammation prevents the absorption of nutrients vitamins and minerals.

  • I have Paranoid Personality Disorder. I just cried for an hour because someone canceled on plans with me and I think they hate me. And a few years I convinced myself that someone sneaks in my room at night to watch me sleep or kill me while I’m sleeping. I always think people hate me and are happy when not talking to me. I don’t trust people around me there’s very few I trust. I always think the worst but I have too much anxiety to talk to people about it. every comment I make on social media or in person I’m scared they’re going to delete it or get mad at my comment even if it was a nice one. I hate having this disorder it really messes with my head, life, and relationships with people. I also think that I’m alone in this struggle and no one understands and actions of others in my life effects my paranoia and how I communicate with others about it which is little to none anymore. I’m actually paranoid about posting this but I have to work through it…Please don’t judge me..please don’t judge us. We, the people who have this, need support, reassurance, proof, understanding, patience, and to be able to communicate at least thats what I need I can’t speak for everyone so please don’t think I am. This is super real and sometimes super scary.

  • I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am paranoid all the time about my boyfriend “cheating” on me. And I’m also paranoid that people are talking about me negatively. I’m paranoid at my workplace too, I think everyone’s talking or thinking negatively of me and it’s making me respond in an angry manner when it’s confronted. And when people take a glimpse of me, I automatically think that they “know” me and will tell others about me and waiting for me to screw up on anything. They’re just waiting for me to mess up, whatever the issue may be. People keep telling me “really, they’re not even looking at you” but I just KNOW it somehow that they’re talking about me. Sounds really self-absorbed. But I can’t help but be suspicious of people.

  • Oh really? Cold & distant in my first marriage meant he was with someone else, which is why he was suddenly no longer interested, although it’s not that simple. I was with him for 18 years. Then he leaves at the worst time of my life: right after my brother was sent to Iraq, which was 18 months after watching someone I know died in the World Trade Center and on top of all that, counselors ruin my entire life by stabbing me with a label of “Depression: Clinical presentation.”
    Acting as if none of THEM would be depressed under the same conditions. Depression isn’t a diagnosis. It’s a label that ruins your ability to find employment if potential employers learn of it.
    Watch while someone you know dies in Tower 1 and leaves behind no remains at all; then watch your brother be sent to Iraq on March 24, 2003; then watch your husband of 18 yrs. drive away on June 1, 2003, never to return; and tell me you don’t feel even a little depressed & devastated by it.

  • She speaks very very well I learn from ppl like that who speaks well and who wisdom like here I thank you for sharing ppd & others stuff I loved this video ❤️ I love �� you all

  • Through out this whole video I literally would finish this womans sentences… I never understood why I think he way I do and I called myself crazy but it makes sense now.. I have ppd it comfort me knowing I’m not alone and I’m not crazy now I hope with this knowledge I can learn and better myself.

  • Super women. Love her. I want to be her slave for rest of my life and die serving her, washing her cloths, cleaning her house, feeding her dog. I am Dr ramani servant and slave.

  • So what should I do if I’ve tried all of this and she still doesn’t want to talk to me? She doesn’t open up, she doesn’t have anything nice to say to me, she doesn’t show affection, she’s cold if not regularly yelling at me for something. I don’t know what else to do. I give space, I try taking things out, I take her to nice places, nothing works…

  • My husband is emotionally distant and cold (possibly because he was a victim of child abuse) It was hard for me and I am almost at the edge. He is a narcissist and he cant love truly. Im so tired of putting more effort and I realized that man should lead the relationship and all leaders have heavier responsibility. If the CEO fails, the company fails. If the head of the family fails, the marriage fails. When a guy loves the woman more than she loves him, it was more likely to last because women are most likely to stay loyal and respond with love. What if the woman loves the guy more than he loves her? Well, it was more likely to be an abusive marriage. So teach your child to love truly and choose a man wisely/ Dont be naive, marriage is the biggest decision you will ever have.

  • Everything he said was pretty much on point, I’ve been doing a lot of this before watching the vid, we are on lock down and we both need some space

  • “I need to know you have my back at every moment.”
    I’m sorry, but that sounds incredibly immature. Even for a relationship of two people without anxiety, it’s an unrealistic ideal that sounds reminiscent of how high schoolers overly romanticize things.
    As a person suffering from GAD, I know I rely on my s/o more than others, but I also TRY to take responsibility of myself and my illness.

    My heart goes out to every s/o of people with anxiety if y’all are anything like my s/o, be sure to speak up when you feel unheard/overloaded. We need a lil’ extra compassion, but your feelings are equally important too.

  • The one that I think of the most is the one that says “it means a lot to me when you read or learn about anxiety “ most people think that they know what it is

  • I oftent feel ashamed and will keep my anxiety to myself. it’s not that i don’t trust u. it’s that i don’t like feeling weak and helpless in front of u

  • So what happens when your girlfriend still doesn’t understand and pushes you to everything that you can’t do? She doesn’t care anymore and I don’t care either.

  • I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but a lot of us are burnt out. We are humans with flaws too and you can’t put all of these expectations on us:/ Speaking from the other sides perspective I feel like all this can be summed up into one note. “You need to be Superman/woman Therapist every time I have anxiety so that I can be mr/miss helpless. And if you are not, you’re not a good partner.” This “victim” of anxiety mindset makes people who suffer from it the most double standard and hardest people to deal with. They expect everyone else to be okay with their anxiety and expect everyone to act like so perfect towards them when they have anxiety, but they don’t hold themselves to nearly the same standards of behavior. Does anyone ever think that it’s extremely hard being the other person and that we get burnt out and anxiety ourselves from feeling like doormats all the time, walking on eggshells constantly and feeling like we have to be your perfect therapist at any given moment? I’m tired of feeling like I have to be Superman all the time and be okey dokey with everything all the time, but if I ask even a small portion of the same from my partner I’m the bad guy who “doesn’t understand anything”. Does anybody have any other advise other than “be the perfect partner”? Because I’m stuck, relationships are a two way street like it or not, and IT’S EXTREMELY HARD being the other person all the time:( Some more advice would be much appreciated:)

  • “I am not my anxiety” that one hit home. It’s so hard to really believe that, because sometimes I feel my anxiety and I are so close it’s suffocating.

  • God never promised an easy marriage but if you value it enough you will put whatever you need to in it. Funny how you people are quick to call him an idiot or a moroon but if that’s the case why did u all watch the video?? We are to love our spouse as God loves the church and he sent his own son to die on the cross to demonstrate his love so doesn’t seem to difficult to put some effort into your marriage. There’s no perfect relationship and i have been the distant partner before and we made it thru it I am now on the other side of things with my husband being the distant one. We have been married 17 years and it was the act of kindness and love that saved us when I was the distant one just praying it will save us again, I will be taking what I learned from this and using it.. thank you so much for this video

  • How do I get her to be more affectionate? It seems I’m always the one who is initiating any form of intimacy. She’s become soo distant lately and I know it’s bc she has a lot going on right now coupled with us having five children but it seems before we were married she was soo flirty and affectionate and showed the love versus just saying it… I just really miss her and want us to be back to normal she’s my everything and best friend. Thank you for the video it was very helpful.

  • That moment when you think you are watching this for the first time & notice you liked the video..I’m still hoping that my husband will learn to have more empathy & that I can better understand him.

  • I having a same situation my my marriage.Silent treatment is most painful pain that a man can do to his wife.Emotionally damaging.I wish man can realise what they do when they act like that.

  • Commitment matters so staying on.But if there is a chance to rewind the clock, i would happily stay single…!! Its too much effort compared to the happiness it offers

  • For me, its physically painful. I just cant stop crying. I can’t. Doesnt matter how much I try. It’s exhausting. My head hurts, some parts of my body become numb. I get depressed. It happens mainly when I feel humiliated.

  • Your advice is crap….basically just live with a robot…tone down your natural charisma? You are speaking to woman because men are far more emotionally unavailable than woman….Ladies…I’m been doing just what this toxic man for 8 years….and he still does nothing!!!! So I will kindly and respectfully tell him to hit the curb….loneliness is far better than living with a robot!!!

  • Reminds me of Stephen A. Smith from NBA once said about a player that he had ‘rabbit ears’. Out of the 25.000 spectators he hears and reacts on the one person out of the crowd that is saying unpleasant things.

  • I need help I have all 9 treats everything you have said on each video I am just like that what do I do how do I bring it up to a doctor what kind of doctor do i even go to i cant handle this….

  • My husband is antisocial, he doesn’t have any friends, I can’t talk to him unless he initiates the conversation. I respected his differences at first but after 25 years, he calls me names, he calls me a f-head, tells me to shut the eff up and shows no affection anymore. If there’s a conversation that he’s initiated, he’ll talk over anything I have to say. It’s like living alone. I suggested doing things he likes to do, but he doesn’t like to do anything anymore. I’m constantly tiptoeing around him, wondering if I’m allowed to talk to him. I make sure the house is clean, his dinner is ready, his clothes are washed. I feel like I’m living alone the last 10 years. I didn’t hear anything to help. I’m tired of being kind, considerate of his feelings. I just can’t bear living this way anymore.

  • My husband is doing this and am exactly reacting the wrong way..for 18years of wedlock
    I will try to do what you mentioned and see if it works. I honestly don’t want to yell at my husband to get his attention. God will help me

  • This feels selfish the spouse is emotionally manipulating you already then is not sharing any emotions with you then told you you’re not compatible anymore you’re giving them time to think what about your feelings you’re already in pain from not getting any emotions in the first place then to get extra distance by them saying they don’t feel the same way like they used to just a joke you’re worth more than that sometimes it’s just best to walk away one person can’t put so much in and give them the time to think when they’re the one that is hurting you

  • My husband is a BITCH. but we have four kids together so I guess I’m waiting til they grow up. Probably will regret that but at this point I don’t see anything else to do.

  • I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar II in my mid-30s and BPD in my early 40s. My BPD diagnosis also includes narcissistic and asocial manifestations. I was really messed up for a long time. From age 16-24, I had more than 10 jobs, often with long periods of unemployment in between. I have destroyed some of my favorite clothing because I flew into a rage after it wouldn’t come off the hanger just right. In a different youtube video, I heard it described best as “I hate you, don’t ever leave me.” I’ve lost jobs because I would panic at the thought of going to work. I would call off for several days in a row, panicking more every time I did because I didn’t want to lose the job. I’m now 49 and can’t wait until our Heavenly Father calls me home. I won’t rush it with self-harm, but I can’t wait to finally be rid of this illness and see what “normality” looks/feels like.

  • i am only recently discovering that this is for sure what i have. all 9 traist to look for as described bydr ramani are a descriotion of my life since my latest traumatic eveent of my moms suicude which followed my sisters murder. added to childhood shit leads me to now. but an “episode ” for m is wen something, usually not a big deal to others, like my husband havong a conversation with most any female even though i know hes not going to cheat ever, i will hear conversations that dont happen, i will imagine things that arent there and to me i am losing him i go into panic mode i will cry rock grab him like hes leaving m when everyone aroundis like wtf is going on

  • Sounds like a lot of men are distant and attentive but I have a wife who doesn’t want to be touched or to touch me. She admits she is not affectionate at all and isn’t interested in sex or romance…go figure. I have a love language of physical touch up in the 10’s she is around 1. It is very difficult to live with a spouse who doesn’t like affection or touch. Intimacy is the glue that holds us together. So do I have to bury my feelings?

  • I have recently been diagnosed with BPD and I completely agree with Dr.Ramani that there is no specific episode of BPD.
    THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL INTERVIEWS.ITS BEEN REALLY HELPFUL ON MY PART.

  • I understand that there are 3 type of relating. One of the 3 types is called “avoidant” and it’s very common. What can you do if you are married with an avoidant partner? What you recommend will not work at all. They enjoy being independent and distant.

  • This sounds more like how to simply continue to exist in the same house with someone who probably doesn’t even like you. If you are with someone who genuinely loves you and enjoys being your partner overall, if they seem withdrawn and down choosing to not reach out and instead letting them “have space” and work through it on their own will likely leave them feeling unimportant and unseen. However, if your partner is irritated by your presence, doesn’t enjoy your company, and doesn’t want your love and reassurance then this all sounds like a great plan to make sure your existence bothers them as little as possible and that your relationship doesn’t further impose on them.

  • Opposites attract is one giant myth. I fyou look at the research (and general common sense), most of the time people are more attracted to partners like themselves, especially in times of stress or as they age (which tends to come with extra stress anyway). You may find differences ‘exotic’ or ‘interesting’ to begin with, but once the novelty wears off they generally become irritating and an extra point of contention. I wish I’d realised this when I was younger and avoid all the drama of learning it the hard way!

  • Beautiful advice. I wish I knew this 2 years ago. I was with a Russian guy who used to joke around just because I told him I didn’t want to have anal sex. He used to joke about that all the time (which it seemed he didn’t respect my boundaries) I told him I was going to leave him so he stopped. He then told me I needed a career instead of my own business otherwise I’d be a janitor. He said ‘once you come to Russia you’ll go to the university’ basically he wanted me to pursue his dreams not mine. After one year I realized I want someone who accepts me the way I am and respect when I say no and supports me in life.