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Platitudes like “Everything happens for a reason” aren’t helpful when you’re trying to comfort a friend. Resorting to clichés can make it feel like you’re minimizing the friend’s pain. And stay. The actual, correct, scientifically-supported way to lend words of comfort to a depressed friend is to employ “negative validation.” Basically, you should deliver words that communicate an understanding of the person’s emotions, so they feel their reaction to the situation is. It’s not easy to know what to say to a friend who tells us they’re struggling with infertility.
It can be pretty uncomfortable to see our friend so vulnerable and in pain. So what do we do? We love our friend so, naturally, we make light of the situation, recoil, and try to fix our friend’s problem pronto!Your friend will appreciate any effort you put into helping them feel better.
Just remember not to sacrifice your own mental wellbeing while trying to help. It’s ok if nothing works; just expressing your concern and willingness to help can make a world of difference. And by helping a friend who’s struggling, you might feel a little happier. “Try not to say something that’s supposed to take away the pain, because nothing is going to,” Doka says. Just like “Time heals” or “It’ll be alright,” you’re not acknowledging how truly painful.
“Often, people don’t have the capacity to say ‘I don’t know how to help you with this’ or ‘you crying in front of me makes me uncomfortable,’ but your behavior and words reflect that through saying what you think you’re supposed to say in the situation. My job. When I asked our Facebook group what they needed from friends when they were struggling, Tara from Nutrition Guru and the Chef shared, “ Don’t just say ‘make sure you look after yourself’ or ‘make sure you get some time to yourself to rest’.
The group members’ amount of say in their treatment is not common in reality, the basic building blocks are there. The patients are monitored by a physician, psychologist, dietician, nutritionist, and a home advisor.
p>As far as building relationships go, Ellen and her housemates are able to build a nice family dynamic and support system. S weet friends and family sometimes have no idea how to handle us, what to say to us, or how to behave around us. Having lived in the super awesome sorority that is infertility for just over a decade, I have had SO MUCH experience in what to say and what not to say when communicating with a friend that is struggling with infertility.
A friend who can stand by your side and say, “you will make through this phase”, is the one you need. A friend in need is a friend indeed, but we seldom get such friends who are there with us during the not-so-happy times. I believe that, even if you don’t have a friend like that, it shouldn’t stop you from being a caring friend to others.
List of related literature:
|from Spirituality For Dummies|
|from Readings for Diversity and Social Justice|
|from I Don’t Have to Make Everything All Better|
|from How Women Decide|
|from Fundamentals of Game Design: Fundamentals of Game Design_2|
|from Marcus Garvey Life and Lessons: A Centennial Companion to the Marcus Garvey and Universal Negro Improvement Association Papers|
|from Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions|
|from The First Promise|
|from Natural Health After Birth: The Complete Guide to Postpartum Wellness|
|from Black Women’s Mental Health: Balancing Strength and Vulnerability|