Transformation Rainbow-Rose Blossom Overcomes Anorexia

 

My anorexia story; the disorder takes hold

Video taken from the channel: MerryRose Howley


 

24hrs eating MY OLD fear foods / happy NEDAW

Video taken from the channel: helena rose


 

a long ol’ eating disorder Q&A

Video taken from the channel: helena rose


 

Natalie Portman and Lily-Rose Depp in Planetarium TIFF

Video taken from the channel: Variety


 

Teen Overcomes Anorexia After Near Death Experience

Video taken from the channel: truly


 

Learning About Health from Eating Disorders | Raquel Rose | TEDxPurdueU

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


 

DIY RAINBOW ROSESColor Changing Flower Experiment! | Official AlienBuzzTV

Video taken from the channel: AlienBuzz TV


Rainbow-rose overcame anorexia with a combination of resistance training and diet, and added over 30 quality pounds. New Zealanders Involved In Global Study Showing Genetic Predisposition for Anorexia I’m proud to have taken part in this and that the research shows what those of us who live it know that anorexia is not a choice as well as what the medical field has suspected for some time that genetics play a part. When it comes to the development of mental. Hi my names Rainbow-Rose, Welcome to my blog! I created this blog as a way to spread self love and empowerment in which I’m extremely passionate about this as I have had my own personal battles with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Anorexia, through my recovery I found healing in self love and a love for weight training.

A former size 2 (UK 6) model who was told she was too big to work has overcome an eating disorder and landed a career as a successful plus-size model. Danielle Braverman, from Denver in Colorad. Targeting mTOR with MLN0128 Overcomes Rapamycin and Chemoresistant Primary Effusion Lymphoma. Blossom Damania, a,b. pathway drives endothelial cell transformation. This product overcomes the genetic problem that does not allow for the conversion of tryptophan to 5-HTP.

Pharmaceutical Medications: There are times when medications can save a person’s life. If botanical medicines do not work (in conjunction with the lifestyle, thought processing, and consideration of other causes) then medications are an. Οlive tree blossom polyphenolic extracts exert antioxidant and antimutagenic activities in vitro and in various cell lines: Link: 23/10/2019 [Corrigendum] A 19‑miRNA Support Vector Machine classifier and a 6‑miRNA risk score system designed for ovarian cancer patients: Link: 22/10/2019. Anorexia is characterised by a significant weight loss due to excessive dieting. Anorexics consider themselves fat though they can be grossly underweight.

They are green at this stage, but sometimes, if the orchid blossom is purple, the buds can show a purple tint. When the flower opens, the sepals become intensely coloured. In many orchids. It is used to halt obsessive thoughts, and relieves despondency, as well as overcomes insomnia. Lepidolite is supportive in releasing one from addictions and complains of all kinds, including anorexia.

Called a “Stone of Transformation”, it releases and reorganizes old psychological and behavioral patterns, thus inducing change. Full text of “ERIC ED442730: China: Tradition and Transformation. Curriculum Projects. Curriculum Projects.

Fulbright-Hays Summer Seminars Abroad Program 1996 (China).

List of related literature:

When Violets are confused and unhappy, they can also develop eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia.

“Life Colors: What the Colors in Your Aura Reveal” by Pamala Oslie
from Life Colors: What the Colors in Your Aura Reveal
by Pamala Oslie
New World Library, 2000

The first of the series is the poem, ‘one’ (orange butterflies & aqua sequins), which prompted the title & this is for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf.

“For colored girls who have considered suicide/When the rainbow is enuf” by Ntozake Shange
from For colored girls who have considered suicide/When the rainbow is enuf
by Ntozake Shange
Scribner, 2010

Rose’s individualized treatment plan began with encouraging her to continue her already excellent diet.

“Outside the Box Cancer Therapies: Alternative Therapies That Treat and Prevent Cancer” by Dr. Mark Stengler
from Outside the Box Cancer Therapies: Alternative Therapies That Treat and Prevent Cancer
by Dr. Mark Stengler
Hay House, 2018

Anorexia: Angelica, Christmas Spirt, Citrus Fresh, coriander, grapefruit, Purification, Melrose, Ftarragon, Valor.

“Reference Guide for Essential Oils” by Connie Higley, Alan Higley
from Reference Guide for Essential Oils
by Connie Higley, Alan Higley
Abundant Health, 1998

Her circle pattern is still there and recognizable but is now being altered by the eating disorder.

“Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder” by James Lock, Daniel Le Grange
from Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder
by James Lock, Daniel Le Grange
Guilford Publications, 2004

Zeeman used what is known as the “butterfly catastrophe” to model the anorexic’s behavior, as well as to model how the therapy might have its effects.

“The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models” by John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, Catherine C. Swanson, Rebecca Tyson, Kristin R. Swanson
from The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models
by John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, et. al.
MIT Press, 2005

Her unformed dreams started to acquire shape, color and texture, becoming ever clearer step by step and much more beautiful at each transformation.

“Quo Vadis” by Henryk Sienkiewicz, W. S. Kuniczak
from Quo Vadis
by Henryk Sienkiewicz, W. S. Kuniczak
Hippocrene Books, 1999

Her focus would then switch to changing her body, which played an important role in maintaining her eating disorder.

“Handbook of Treatment for Eating Disorders” by David M. Garner, Paul E. Garfinkel
from Handbook of Treatment for Eating Disorders
by David M. Garner, Paul E. Garfinkel
Guilford Publications, 1997

It was dirty and sick, whereas anorexia… anorexia, it’s like being a delicate flower, isn’t? and that’s it.

“Deviance and Social Control: A Sociological Perspective: A Sociological Perspective” by Michelle Inderbitzin, Kristin A. Bates, Randy R. Gainey
from Deviance and Social Control: A Sociological Perspective: A Sociological Perspective
by Michelle Inderbitzin, Kristin A. Bates, Randy R. Gainey
SAGE Publications, 2012

Hidden behind the regal, elegant, graceful beauty that shined outside, the dark shadow of her inner pain seeped through: anorexia, bulimia, self-mutilation, depression, despair and obsessive compulsive disorder.

“Sexual Trauma: A Challenge Not Insanity” by K. Elan Jung
from Sexual Trauma: A Challenge Not Insanity
by K. Elan Jung
Hudson Press, 2010

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

[email protected]

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156 comments

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  • currently struggling with an ed and i really hope that one day i can recover. it’s so exhausting having these thoughts replay in my mind 24/7 and i’m just so tired. thank you so much for making this video xx

  • Hey merry rose my name is Alicia fenner and I just watched your eating disorder story and I can so relate to everything that you are talking about because I have struggled with anorexia, self harm, bulimia, and exercise addiction and I am struggling now and my treatment team wants me to get more help and I am scared because I have been to so many hospitals and they have all been scary:( I just wanted to tell you that you are so brave to tell your story and your such an inspiration to me like a lot because I have struggled with the same issues as you and I am struggling now! I just wanted to tell you that you inspire me to keep going and never give up!!! I know I need help but I am scared:( much love <3

  • I loved this! And I definitely think these videos are so amazing and are amazing at letting people know how real this is… And completely agree with you only sweet and salty ����

  • To be honest I struggled with bulimia on and off during highschool. I know I don’t come from the same place as most people here, but I was over 260lbs when I started highschool, and got made fun of because of it. I never understood why I was bigger then more than half of my peers. There were times where I wouldn’t eat for days, too much exercise (running was also my choice of exercising, now I know better, i’ll do it sometimes, but lift now), and I puked up entire meals, until the point where I would see blood. Now i’ve been out of highschool for 6 years now, and thought about doing something like this again, i’m an adult, I choose what I eat. I keep hovering in the 202lbs 210lbs zone and I can’t seem to fall below it no matter what I do. The smallest I’ve ever been in my adult life was 192lbs. I know that its a horrible mindset, but I don’t think I would of lost all that weight, if I never did what I did back then.

  • am i the only one who could never have a eating disorder bc my mom wouldn’t let me skip a meal even if i was having an anxiety attack from hating my body

  • I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and they motivate me so much to start my own recovery as well. I really want to be healthy again, want the hair loss to stop and my period to come back, but it’s hard to let go of the mindset that I’ve had for the past year. There are days, when I eat a lot and feel very good about it too, but as soon as I start gaining just a little weight, my mind immediately slips back to restricting, because I struggle so much with my body image. I hope I will get to where I wanna be sooner or later, but just so you know, you are a big part of my recovery and I want to thank you for that!

  • Seeing the squash dunking was a sad few seconds lol, a few years back seeing vids like this would have helped immensely. keep doing what you’re doing girl:). Lotsa love x

  • I remember this time where my friend (who doesn’t know about my ed) said “I could never have anorexia I love food” and I was just like

    K D E N

  • Finally found someone whose fear food was/ (is) also porridge! Thank you so much for this video, and your channel, it has helped me so much in my recovery❤️❤️❤️

  • I love being thin but still I don’t want to be skeleton if u know what I mean
    I had weight loss pills �� and did exercises and lost 23 kg
    I am now happy but not a skeleton

  • If you guys search for Christie swaddling here in YouTube you’ll see that she now looks pretty normal. Healthy. Has a YouTube channel.

  • She is going to look 90 years old by the time she’s 30 if she doesn’t stay out of the sun and doesn’t start eating. That tan Hass to go. She looks awful. Pale and interesting is better than Tan and cheap looking.

  • I never got diagnosed with anorexia but I think I had/have a disorder. I mean I lost a little bit of weight (only 3-4 kilos in a one and a half years) and people of my family or my coaches (my friends do not even notice ) said that I should eat more because I got skinny (I look normal in my opinion). I also lost my period at the beginning of this year. I am on a normal weight (BMI) but I’m struggling with food a lot. I used to compare myself with anorexic people on the internet and developed my disorder more and more. What I wanted to say ist that you helped me to think better about food/ have a better relationship with it. That it is okay to eat higher calorie food or to snack a muffin. I’m still struggling but I am getting better I think. This video helped me a lot. So I just wanted to say thank you so much.��
    Sorry for this long text but I think I just needed to talk to somebody/ share my thoughts with somebody

  • I’m glad I found this video in time for me to do the right thing for me as well anyone else who is going through the same thing I hope this influences you as well as it has me.

  • Now I cry for myself when I remember the moment that I ate chocolate wafer for the first time in 3-4 years, that I was like very pleased and happy while eating it but not allowing myself for not eating pretty much anything

  • I know that many people watch these videos as triggers in bad times but trust me its going to be fine. I have tried my best to help many of my friends through the deepest days of depression and i just want to let anyone who is reading this know that if you need help you can message me. My instagram is: @_soph.l_
    Dont be afraid to message me if you need help and if tou need to vent as everyone needs to at some point. Everything will be okay!

  • omg this is so cringe!! why did they make her run in the shot? why did they give her that magazine? and why is she online “helping” others when there is clearly so much more work to do for herself? I feel she is on the right path and making huge steps but its not an overnight thing.

  • The nostalgia I get from your vids, Arthur, Rugrats, the way you make your porridge (I used to call it ‘grandpa’s’ porridge and eat it the exact same way haha) love your content so much ��

  • Good afternoon,

    I would like to share with you a therapeutic book I wrote which is also available for free in electronic format.
    Please see the enclosed You Tube presentation of the book:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5BhH_m2WtY

  • Wow.. these model things on media is actually deadly for people in the outside world..
    Disapointing.
    People focus way to much on body, look what it’s doing to our society

  • Ok, can someone tell me if this makes sense or if I’m delusional? I believe that some people are biologically more likely to develop an eating disorder because of their brain structure. I know that I’m not one of these people, however, for maybe three years now, I have forced disordered behavior on myself. (It’s been an up and down road with only a few days worth of genuine starvation) So my logic is that I won’t get addicted and that I can use an eating disorder to get what I want and then stop. That makes sense right? I’m not crazy…right?

  • Why has this even been posted! This has already been posted as a personal video by her using the same pictures but put her own bits in! She obviously stole the images from this show and is combing in views and likes for it?… geeeze

  • No entiendo cómo puwden obsesionarse así, les gusta verse piel y hueso! Yo estoy luchando por conservar mi peso porque toda mi vida fui un fideo, y logré subir los kg que necesitaba, y lucho para no perderlos!!

  • wow something very similar happened to me as I went into my senior year and used that early dismissal to workout excessively. it’s so great you’re sharing your story. keep changing lives:)

  • Uh hello, I’m so confused and scared and I’m not sure if I even have an ed I’m not underweight that’s something and I do not think I over exercise and it hasn’t even been long enough to be to be recovered I mean it’s been this way for about 2 month and I guess this all started because I was fat and I needed to lose weight thing is I have lost weight but I can’t really see anything or think of any thing towards my body except that it’s fat and all this and I feel like if I recovered or whatever I’ll go back to the way I was and I won’t be able to control my portion or any of this but alot of things are wrong I’ve already lost my period and it used to be frequent and just normal my family is telling me I should help myself and I sometimes feel like I should I should get out of this constant anxiety and fear and critiquing and confusion and hate and dread and I guess control but I don’t know if I’m even sick enough to say I am in need of recovering and it’s not even been long sorry thank you please help me I’m very very tired and confused

  • I hate how it’s the BMI of 17.5 for anorexia, you can be anorexic at any weight, it’s about the rapid weight loss and the mental torture.

  • This is so lovely wtf
    I’m 99% recovered and really want to do more public stuffdo u have any tips for not beign scared of irl friends finding ed recovery content? honestly love u you’re such a big reason ive got so far xxxx

  • Poor girl… some1 should’ve told her from the very beginning that she will never b a VS model b/c she’s female!

    That’s right….Wake up people! They’re all MALES

  • Why are people talking about Lily’s weight? She is such a talented and knowledgable actress yet people still find the need to bring her down. Anorexia is a MENTAL ILLNESS not something to shame her about.

  • hi Helena!
    I know u have a disclaimer about ed but I am getting better so I just thought I will watch u while recovering. I got diagnosed with anemia about a week ago and I got rly scared. Now as I was watching your video I am very proudly saying that I ate a very filling meal with greens, veggies ect. ☺️

  • I hated getting larger tiddies and ass. It still sucks. But hey I can focus on school, play guitar, and hang out with people even if I feel like the fattest person in the room and cry on the way home; I don’t want to go back to that place I was in when I was dieting

  • These vids help me so much, I’ve been diagnosed with body dismorphia and I obsess over eating ‘healthy foods’ because of this, but your videos really are helping me see that a healthy balanced diet is the way forward!! <3

  • I have not even started my period and am going through recovery so do you think part of the reason I haven’t got it is because I am underweight?

  • Eu tô vendo esse vídeo comendo pão com carne mas no meu caso metabolismo acelerado não consigo engorda nem comendo um boi o jeito é academia e aumenta as calorias 2.000 ou mais

  • The lighting is annoying, my dog is annoying, I’m annoying, here are the time stamps x

    01:12 How did you deal with the fear of weight gain during recovery?

    02:28 Can I recover at a healthy weight? And how/when should I start?

    04:28 How to deal with bad body image

    06:05 How long did it take you to weight restore

    06:27 Is it okay to overshoot if I believe that is what I need to do to get the healthy mindset back

    07:43 Can you talk about weight redistribution? 

    08:41 If I hate my body at a low weight how will I love it gaining weight

    09:39 What did you eat to gain weightdid you follow a meal plan or not?

    10:02 How did you tackle fear foods

    10:42 Is it normal to binge sometimes? Why? How to stop

    12:23 How much do you recommend eating to recover yet not feel awfully full?

    12:45 knowing the difference between disordered eating and being mindful of your food

    14:08 Did you go all in or gradually increase your calories?

    15:03  you eat unhealthy foods in recovery?

    17:00 Is it normal to be constantly bloated when you start eating more/Tips for IBS after an eating disorder

    18:55 How did you ED affect your relationships?

    20:32 Were you open to your friends about your struggles? Tips?

    21:37 how to know you are ready to recover?

    22:38 How to really know if you’re fully recovered 

    23:21 When did you start going to the gym again?

    24:30 How to get your period back?

    27:36 When do your ED start and what was the cause 

    28:09 What was the proudest moment in recovery that made you think ‘I’ve got this’

    28:40 Was there a moment you wanted to go back if so what made you keep going

    29:51 Whats the best thing you’ve gotten out of recovery

  • Never thought I had an eating disorder because I always managed to be able to eat more and get out of a “restriction mindset” without help from anyone. But I never realized a BMI of 17.5 or under was considered to be anorexia. At my lowest weight I had a BMI of 16.8.

  • It’s really difficult to go through it. Currently I’m feeling like I’m relapsing but I’m inspired to stay vegan and keep my weight up! Thanks ��

  • the only reason i never purged was because of my emetophobia. at the time i thought that absolutely sucked and i hated myself for it, but looking back, honestly glad that i couldn’t. it could’ve made it a lot worse

  • you have no idea how good it is to see someone who doesn’t define themselves as their ed or previous ed. I know I have come a long way but I am still not at a similar point as you at all…. it gives me hope though that its worth it so thank you xxx

  • Being skinny isn’t the problem.
    It is thinking, having the mindset of, this is who I NEED to be this is WHO I need to be.
    There is no problem with anyone’s weight or shape as long as they are healthy. Stay strong ladies. DL

  • Yeeesss I was waiting for your new video!! Hope you’re alright and thank you so much for getting braver and stronger day by day by inspiring me

  • I’m 12 years old rn and I have been watching anorexia videos for like 30 min and every single video I watch, has the same things that I do memorize calories in foods, go on diets, watch what victoria secret models eat in a day and I feel confident when I’m starving but, this has been going on for a while now and I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, I eat fish and chicken a lot too and I want to lose weight but, I still love food and I’m not under or overweight.

  • Nathalie Portman insulte les français d’antisemites mais par contre sa la dérange pas d’être et de vivre dans le pays où il y a encore la ségrégation raciales et où il y a le plus de meurtriers o monde ������

  • Absolutely love the hairstyle!������ I love doing little space buns, but don’t have any matching scrunchies, don’t know why I never thought of just using two different ones�� Also love the message you’re spreading, I’ve been recovered from orthorexia for a few months now, and watching this just makes me happy, when it would previously make me think “that’s a fear food for her, it should be one for me, better stop eating that!”����

  • Someone should give this girl some ENSURE, ‘coz she’s literary in her bones. That’s probably just her contexture, but a bit more muscle would make her look a lot more healthy.

  • i cant help but to address the elephant in the room… is it me or does Natalie Portman look fat? (I bet you didn’t see that coming huh? lol)

  • The end of the video actually really spooked me. I’m a senior in highschool about to go to college, and I’ve been in recovery since probably around 6th grade. I’ve DEFINITELY heard that voice inside my head that’s excited for all this “freedom” so it can do what it wants again. Just proves that no matter how far into recovery you are, you need to be conscious and check what your head voice is saying!

  • I‘m so sorry this is a very serious video but when she said ‚anorexia nerviosaa‘ it sounded like shecame straight from hogwards and was trying to put a spell on something

  • I’m really shocked that after that first crisis your parents let you be in control of your food. I get y’all we’re going in blind but sheesh lol. I’d be like a nazi parent and my kid would prob hate me. Proud of you for recovering.

  • Hallo Helena!
    First off thank you for this video it’s very helpful. I am glad that you’re doing good now!!��

    Do you have any tips to lose weight in a healthy way?

  • Although being in movies from a very young age I am glad that Natalie Portman kept her sanity. And especially now that we know how many predators are in Hollywood.

  • I use to have bulimia and I would restrict mon-fri and I would eat normally on weekends but I would throw it up but here I am still trying to restrict and am bulimic but never had anorexia

  • My breakfast-one egg or nothing or green tea
    My lunch -ok i admitt i have to eat that because the fucking quarantine,so i eat as small as i can
    Then exercise 300-500calorie
    Evening i used free myself to eat,,,,, but i bing,so i eat a small i mean SMALL bowl of cereal, or same as breakfast
    Dinner nothing
    I do it till now,i can stop… Help me….

  • And there goes Natalie Portman spouting off about lack of opportunities for women yet here she is “A Successful World Famous Actress”

  • Another question…what is if your recovery is over? Still recovering and I’m on a really good path but I’m often eating snacks bc I think ‘yea I still need to gain’. What is if I’m at a healthy weight and starting to overeat at this point? Idk if this sounds logical ��

  • Thanks for this video, I was starting to have an eating disorder. But now I’m fighting against those habits and eat healthy but not too little. All those fad diets were really affecting my mental health and making me question myself/feel bad but this video helped me realize it is better to lose weight the healthy way and not the unhealthy way. First video I have watched of you and I will continue watching. Thanks again��

  • To all y’all saying that “she’s still too skinny, she probably is still ill”… ANOREXIA IS A MENTAL ILLNESS! It doesn’t just go away, some sufferers deal with it for their whole lifetime.

  • I hope she continues to gain weight and gain confidence. When I was younger, I teetered on the edge of anorexia. My ex husband and his friend made a comment that I was getting a bit tubby and after that I was happy if i could see my hip bones.
    I look back now and realise how beautiful i was

  • Hey fatty, not tryna be mean or anything but if you lose some weight i might subscribe to you. Reason: i dont subscribe to fat people

  • HELENA!! This was AMAZING!! I mean a lot of the things you said were things that affected me as well!! I feel so much more connected to you, but i AM ALSO SOO EXCITED to see what other content you bring to youtube now as well!! love ya!!:) <3

  • I’m glad she’s recovering. To me though, it sounded like she considers herself recovered… like, fully. And I think that’s a very dangerous way for her to be thinking, especially when it’s pretty clear, even from such a short video, that she’s still not at a healthy weight yet, and that she’s still very concerned with her appearance/weight… basically, it’s obvious that she’s not recovered.

  • this is so helpful thank you! i’ve been asking myself so many of these questions but did not know who to ask, and here you are aswering all of them… recovery is honestly a lot easier now i found your channel and started watching your videos:)

  • Love the vid. I’ve been in recovery for 15 months, I am currently’overweight’ & I was extremely underweight before I started recovery. I am going through some tough times & I keep having slip ups, my last 1 set me right back mentally & I still haven’t been able to pick it up fully & now I’m starting to have another slip because I just can’t handle the changes & I haven’t even really challenged my thoughts when it comes to recovery. I do eat very ‘healthy’ & not give in to my hunger, with my weight where it is it’s very difficult to eat more ‘unhealthy’ foods & eat more in general �� x

  • could you make a video about all the things that have been made possible because of recovery? Like filming the top 10 things in life that bring you joy

  • Thank you so much for this, I have no words to describe how much you’ve transformed me and my recovery, all I can say is thank you

  • oh gosh, you made me so emotional with this and your other ed recovery q&a. I went through a time in my life where I think I might have experienced some sort of disordered eating, but it was only for like 3-4 months. I kinda went into recovery when my mum noticed I’d lost weight (I lost about 7 kg/15 lbs), but I managed to make everyone believe it wasn’t intentional… which I guess it technically wasn’t, I was delusional and thought I was being “healthy”, but I definitely had a problem. Now I’m still hurting because while I managed to recover physically, I don’t really feel like I ever got real closure. I held on to a lot of my old negative thoughts for a long time and had to deal with them on my own since literally no one knew I had/have them. I also went through periods of wanting to go back to my old ways because I wanted to prove my sickness, be noticed, helped. Everyone ended up believing I’d lost the weight because I’d wanted to go vegan and had tried to do it in secret (I am vegan now and love it��). It wasn’t I decided I wanted to go vegan while I was unwell, but that wasn’t how it started and I didn’t want to go vegan for weight loss purposes. anyway, what I really wanted to say is something about your videos has made me want to open up about my past to my mum. I want her to know the truth because I honestly think that even though I am in a much better place now with food and my body, a part of me is still broken from that time and the fact that I never got to heal properly mentally. I just don’t know how to do it. this stuff is rough.��

  • weight gain often initially goes to the stomach in order to protect your organs when your body believes a famine may come again, after your body trusts you again it WILL redistribute properly xx

  • Everyone talking about her weight and saying she doesnt look healthy. If she was overweight though, many would be applauding her for being brave and “living her best life.”

  • when you’re minding your damn business and youtube suggests a video with natalie portman and lily-rose depp

    I really do be ugly…

  • After trying to recover for around four months I couldn’t get my period back and I am tired of feeling guilty from eating all the time. I recently went back to the gym because I enjoy lifting and working out even though I know I shouldn’t, but I just want everything to go back to normal and I’m kind of accepting the fact that I’m never getting my period back:(

  • BOYS HAVE EATING DISORDERS TOO.
    AND ITS WORSE FOR THEM BECAUSE NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT
    NOBODY TELLS THEM HOW TO GET HELP BECAUSE ITS A “GIRL” THING..

  • You are a very beautiful young lady! Media makes us all feel like we are less than because we dont look like that. Stay strong sister, I have faith in you!

  • Please go to Change.org and sign the petition for stimulus payments under browse.They still need about signatures 200,000 for it to pass.It is still an open petition.

  • Wait, I know this girl!!! I used to follow her for a while last year when I was still vegan, and I really liked her personality. I am SO PROUD OF HER for making the change and THRIVING now! Recovery is possible. There are many of us, survivors living a happy healthy life after going through hell. Stay strong, take care xx

  • I’m really alone in my recovery, because I’ve never been diagnosed and not many people know about my struggles, and those who know don’t understand how eating disorders work at all. So thank you very much, I needed this ❤️

  • I needed this so much. Thank you beyond words for your honesty and courage with sharing your ED experience to help others going through similar struggles. It does not go unappreciated and again, thank you. On a more positive note, I love all your videos and keep up the amazing content ��❤️

  • I always thought it was like a perfect storm of events that started me on my personal ED road. I was a quiet kid, happiest sitting back and watching everyone else go through life. I was a perfectionist, at everything. It was my sister’s death that catapulted me into an ED though, I felt guilty for living when Deb had everything going for her and I had not a clue about anything. The ED was a personal and physical attack on myself, only I didn’t know it at the time. I just knew I hated myself and wanted to just give up. EDs stole the next 12 years from me before I finally let go of the controlling reins for good. I had a short-lived hiccup in 2014 when my mom was diagnosed with Cancer, but she fought hard and I was there for it all with her. 3 months after she was given the “All Clear”, I went into intense therapy and kicked ED’s ass again:)

  • When facing fear foods, even if not in irl, does anyone else just get paralyzed with fear??? And then you have other people telling you to “just eat” and it’s not that easy. I literally feel like eating that food is going to do the equivalent of killing me or actually kill me, it feels like a life or death situation. My brain is literally screaming at me not to eat the same way it would tell me to run as if I were being chased by a tiger. Can anyone relate? And a side note: I am looking to recover, and I’m watching videos like this as a way to give me the shove I need to do so.

  • She is right. Every body is different and has different requirements when it comes food. Why punishing ourselves just to look good for the world

  • Please do not that to yourself of comparing yourself to models. I am not judging you. At all. It just makes me sad knowing you went anorexic.:( It is extremely easy to compare ourselves to anyone, to anything. Their talents, their looks, etc. But please know that many models have also starved themselves. For a long time, the modeling industry required it. So, you are just as much a victim as those models were. Modeling is not all it is cracked up to be. It’s not worth hurting yourself.

  • i’m 5’0” and 74.6 pounds. i’m 11 and my birthday is in 6 days. yesterday, i decided that, bc of the birthday calories, i would only hit a certain calorie number everyday until then. yesterday i was 75.8, i lost 1.2 in a day. today i’ll i’ve eaten is half a price of toast with 1/2 a tablespoon of hummus, and the other half of the toast is hidden under my bed. i’m scared of gaining weight but i’m also scared my parents will find out.

  • Your videos are honestly the highlight of my week:) I always look so forward to seeing a new upload from you!! I hope you’re having a great day ❤️❤️❤️

  • I had pasta today and I paired it with broccoli to make it “safer” I guess but I still feel so terrible about the pasta. Whenever I try a fear food I tend to restrict for the rest of the day to make up for the calories which contradicts the purpose of it being a challenge. The portion of pasta I had was tiny in comparison to the broccoli so logically I shouldn’t gain weight or have to fear anything. I just wish my brain could listen to my logics instead of getting hung up on worry and staying anxious. Like wtf is wrong with me.

  • I’m so glad you mentioned the eating when alone thing, cos I do that to and it scares me so much because I’m not as in control as I am when I don’t eat

  • I’ve struggled with anorexia for 16 years (now considered severe and enduring) and I’m terrified I’ll never fully recover. You’re such an inspiration to me ❤️

  • Porridge was such a fear food for me as well!! I’ve been able to eat it for about 6 months now and it’s my absolute favourite thing x❤️

  • I’m currently recovering from anorexia, and sometimes I feel like I have no problem eating my fear foods, but I don’t want other people to see that I’m eating them??

  • I’m a silent viewer and for me it’s different as I’ve always tried to lose weight. Went on so many restrictive diet. Now that I’m turning 30, I’m more into a balanced approach, don’t want to call it diet. And I do loads of workout. But sometimes I’m still scared of portions size, don’t want to overeat. For example on days I allow myself some cake or sweet, I enjoy it but right after start feeling bad. I like to tell myself I’m changing with each day but it’s still difficult to stare at the mirror and feel good about what I see. I love your videos, even if my journey might now be the same I love your positive and weird vibes. That’s a compliment, as I love to think I’m weird and I’m proud of it <3

  • So glad for this video. Been inpatient for a week today and just had my weight taken today morning and I was freaking out so much.

  • For the first few seconds of this video I thought you had actually nailed the intro first time, but would this even be your video if you didn’t need to start again? 😉 love you, love this video, love the sponsor!

  • The fact that this is a video discussing their new movie and perspective as actresses and almost every comment I see is about Lily’s weight is why I have body image issues. Why, just why

  • No hate intended here at all because anorexia is a serious condition and my sister suffered with it for many years. Lily’s mother has always been painfully thin too. The one thing I don’t understand is why people who are anorexic show their body off if they think they are fat, which is what anorexia is, thinking you are bigger than what you are. My sister spent most of the time trying to hide her body and her condition with loose clothing not skimpy tops so I don’t really understand her choice of clothing. She may just be that thin like her mother is?

  • I just had a square of my favourite chocolate and felt so guilty but after watching this video I realise how ridiculous that is because hello!! you ate 2 cookies as an afternoon snack and didn’t die so i won’t die too hahaha. thanks Helena, you’re the bomb <33

  • she has a tanning obsession as well as an eating disorder. She’s going to look like she’s 75 when she’s 35. There’s more to being a human than looks. She’s way too vain

  • Thank you a lot for sharing

    I have a huge fear of ‘lack of portion’, like I have no idea what is enough for me and what is not as I cannot feel whenever I am full so I am always scared to overeat (I used to, a lot). Now I avoi all kinds of all you can eat restaurant and literally panic when I have to go to “drinks and snack” kinds of dinners as I am not able to stop eating if there is food on the table. Feels really exhausting, but I am no longer restricting as much on carbs and not counting calories everyday anymore so that’s a step.

  • Helena can you do eating a small jar of a nut butter a day for a week? Its really hard in my recovery because i always finish a jar of nut butter or tahini in 2 or 3 days. I feel abnormal and disgusted for doing that but i can’t stop even if i eat adequate amount of carbs with it:*(

  • I’m really struggling right now because I’m kinda going through recovery on my own, and I have been doing really well but it’s so discouraging because I have always wanted children but I can’t get my period back no matter how hard I try. I don’t know what to do. It’s been like 4-5 months and I am so lost.

  • The consept of this type of vids is so Nice and this is probs my favorite one because of your explanation, love your chanel and you❤️✨��

  • wait so the pink liquid was squash? I thought it was some sort vine lol.
    Anyway fear food are so hard to handle but as you said, the only way to fight them is to keep eating them no matter how hard it is. Sadly I still have a couple of tengo I fear even to these days but I’m working on it!!

  • Shes probably the most beatifull girl i´ve ever seen. I hope she continues her recovery and keeps getting better. Wish her the best

  • You’re such an inspiration to me seeing someone have such a healthy relationship with food, but more importantly with exercise as well. Thank you for showing us how it’s done! ❤️

  • never normally leave comments but i’ve genuinely made more progress in my recovery in the past few months from watching your channel than i have since i’ve started around a year ago. thank you for being so real about food and body image i never thought i’d be this free and have even close to a healthy relationship with food. seems exaggerative but these videos have literally allowed me to feel at peace with myself and like i said i never leave comments but this channel has left the biggest impact on me i couldn’t thank you enough x

  • These girls get so much sympathy for not eating and losing weight it’s ridiculous they do it for looks but if you are overweight it’s your fault because your couch potato ect paying more airline seats ect over eating is also a disorder just bulimia or anaorix both come from a place of emotion what bugs me is picking on the overweight and babying these girls just because they are often younger and pretty

  • So angry because this video is to help people with eating disorders and the advert before this video was one promoting weight loss (literally the first thing the guy said in the advert was “hey fatty stop eating” like wth besides from this love your content Helena, keep doing what your doing!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

  • m i the only one that fears the portions and time and weird food combinations more than the type of food itself? Like I don’t mind eating pizza but can’t eat them for dinner if I had proper meals before and would restrict portion size!! ����

  • Let’s not judge Lilly’s body here, please. Neither her body nor any women’s body. Whether she has anorexia or not. Simply because it’s the judgment one receives from the society that creates the distorted perception one has over your own body. Now, if you care or sympathize, how about trying something different here instead? As a mass of collective consciousness, how about we say here “Lilly, I love you for who you are. I love your body and I love your soul. And I’m grateful for the awareness you brought me here today. That no matter how beautiful and talented one can be, they will always be judged. Because of you, I am aware I should be more kind to myself and love myself more. Therefore, I love you and I’m thankful.”

  • Hey girl.
    I am so glad you are doing so well. Is it true that you are in recovery for the rest of your life? Do you struggle time to time?

  • Do any of y’all have a food avoidance type of thing? Like you’re hungry and then you make food then you’re not hungry looking at it? Or you won’t eat for days because you’re ” not hungry” but then also like binge eat afterward

  • In high school i used have big chest big butty, kinda small waist, but my face was round so everyone say me i am fat,then i stared losing weight and lose and l ose….lose…..los…..

  • I have a friend that has anorexia. She is sickly thin, but thinks she’s fat. It’s sad. She did used to be really overweight and then started dieting and exercising. She got to the point she couldn’t eat food. Her body would reject it where she had damaged herself so much. She has had to go to the hospital and be put on a feeding tube a few times. I feel really bad for her. She knows it’s bad and wrong to do what she does, she just can’t stop herself.

  • I do a lot of these things but am at a healthy weight. I don’t know how to stop, and it’s been such a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around.

  • I want to recover, I currently stick to mostly only eating nut butters but I really can’t wait for pizza to be a thing in my life that doesn’t freak me out

  • I am really so blessed I can now support my family thanks to, search in Google excluding spaces M y E a s y O n l i n e J o b s.c o m

  • So my twin sister had anorexia not the BMI but she was anorexic and she watches your videos (and is much better now and says that you helped her a lot so thanks!)and introduced me to your channel

  • Are you really called Helena, or is it just your ‘stage name’ because you look so much like Helena Bonham Carter? Love your channel!

  • I thought the story was going to be that her arm ended up getting amputated����‍♀️it look like she doesnt have a left arm when she’s sat talking

  • I watched ‘to the bone’ on Netflix a few months before my ed started and I remember thinking that the girl was crazy and self-centered because she wanted to give up everything to be skinny, little did I know that was my future.

  • As someone who currently has BED I was trying to get the view point of someone with a different eating disorder but when she said 50 calorie dinner and 35 calorie muffins I actually said “oooh that’s a good idea” and well SHIT looks like I’m not finishing this video

  • I’ve started to become obsessed with exercising too and it’s scary. Like I actually feel anxious to the point of crying if I haven’t worked out and I’ll have to do atleast 1000 jumping jacks, then also do my hard workout every single day and then if I have time I’ll do more exercise

  • I am glad that you overcomed anorexia and now you enjoy delicious food:)
    By the way, what brand is your jumper?? Where could I get it??:)

  • You are my long lost little vegan sister! Your story is almost a mirror of mine! I have seen a lot of them. We have the same personality quirks. We like all the same things and the same food. Your ED is my ED’s twin too. Same exercise regime and diet tendencies. I have been in recovery with no relapse for almost three years now! It wasn’t until I purged my social media and my unhealthy photos that I really started getting better. I have been wanting to start a channel, but keep making excuses for myself!

  • I wouldnt say I have an eating disorder, im just not eating because im not hungry. I might be avoiding it, but I do eat I just wanna stay his weight.

    Anyways, i do self harm and am depressed and attempted suicide almost two years ago, which sent me to therapy. I didnt self harm before I attempted, I had turned 16 and it was summer holiday also, and idk why but afterwards I just did because I was so desperate that night that I just looked through the whole house and found dads razor bladens and took them. Couldnt cut deep, or anything. But since I havent been able to stop, its my little secret that I can do to release this shit in my hesd.

    Anyways I got on a tangent, just havent said this, weird, considering I get so much help. I just dont feel like I deserve the help, others need it. Cant talk about myself, but to strangers I can lol.

    Anyyyyywaysssm I was going to say I thought the “same”: I literally remember thinking, when I was depressed myself, that id neve self harm. I mistve been like 14. Oh and I also remember watching onision when I was like 13 too lol, and him looking at skinny girls. Ive always been small, and have a thigh gap, aleays had. Im tall too, 170cm. 48kg currently. I remember back then I didnt eant thr thigh gap bcs I thought it was gross and was literally afraid people would think I was ill. But now I am afraid of gaining weight so much that it goes away lol, because I have it probably because of my weird thighs, my knees bend ineards when I sit and stand a bit weirder and my hips are wide lol.

    Aint no one gonna reas this or care. Just nice to get out somewhere. Maybe not the right place. Inspiring story, got mr scared of getting into anorexia.

  • i would purge to punish myself… but then sometimes i didn’t purge, to punish myself. i sat with a huge bloated belly, so full i felt like being sick just by moving an inch. but i wouldn’t purge, because sometimes it was more punishing

  • I feel like I made myself get an ED cause i want to lose weight fast but i also feel like i dont have an ED cause im fat and I acknowledge that what im doing is bad but i dont want to stop and i looked up ana ways to lose weight and im now following them a lot and now ive convinced myself that i have to lose weight, so i dont think im worthy to be able to get help.

  • Good morning, I would like to suggest a
    therapeutic book I wrote which is also available for free in electronic format  Please see the enclosed You Tube presentation
    of the book: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5BhH_m2WtY

  • I love how honest you are about your story, inpatient treatment and recovery. You’re so mature when talking about it, very articulate. Honestly you’re amazing.

  • The concerning fact is that a BMI of 16 is regarded as desirable and pretty under Chinese mainstream beauty standards
    literally, all the internet famous, pretty girls (Chinese equivalent of Instagram models ) are clearly anorexic yet no one acknowledges it. As these perturbingly skinny girls continue to be showered with praise and approval, the majority of Chinese society (especially young women) is just turning into a big pro-ana community without even realizing their subject of admiration, that is, a serious eating disorder that can and have destroyed the health of many.

  • I was anorexic for like two months and lost a lot of kilos everyone was worried i then i ate normal but now i so wanna return to the days i ate nothing cz that’s when i lost weight and was confident but i just can’t. My stomach always says eat. I always loved food tho. I can’t eat under 1000 cal anymore it’s mental

  • I found your channel recently and I’m OBSESSED! So thank you for your amazing content. So nice to see someone vegan who has a good relationship with food! Keep doing you girl xoxoxo

  • Best wishes for good health and recovery for anyone suffering from anorexia. In 1970, I lost from 200 pounds to 125 pounds at a height then of six feet, one and a half inches tall. Obsessed with thinness. Then I became a compulsive weightlifter. Now, at 68, I’m mildly obese. 222 pounds but am adamant about good nutrition and Fitbit exercising. Today I have walked 17,380 steps, 8.18 miles. I eat good food and lots of it. Had a former girlfriend, a beauty, die at age 56 of low potassium level caused by laxative abuse, anorexia nervosa. It’s very serious. If you have it, I wish you a full recovery.

  • You are so right that society is fucked with the body image stuff. I get compliments on my weight but am underweight it is the higher end (17.6bmi) but still. Back when I was a bmi of like 22 I felt like a whale because of how skinny it’s kinda of optimal to be these days

  • I also thought ” I could never have an eating disorder, I love food too much, I love chewing even” and now I’m in an endless cycle of hell that seems to go on forever

  • My therapist dismissed the fact that i think i have an eating disorder, just because I’m still eating everyday and not vomiting but I want to lose weight, i eat under 900cals each day and already am underweight before my thoughts kicked in

  • i absolutely refuse to go to treatmwnt im 5’8 100lbs =bmi 15.2, im also tube feed because of gastroparisis from my ehlers danlos syndrom, and cystic fibrosis. so i dont see it being anorexia thats making my weight so low i cannot eat solid food so, am i in the wrong????

  • This story relates to me a lot except my parents don’t know and ya know what ima admit it I throw up my food wow that was easier than expected

  • I‘m scared I might have an eating disorder. I weigh myself several times a day, trying to predict how much I can eat and still lose a bit of weight until the next day. But I still eat quite normally, I usually dont have issues eating in front of people and eat sweets and stuff like that. But Just the thought of being tiny makes me feel so happy and I‘m really confused because I feel like whatever I have is not bad enough to call an eating disorder and I‘m probably just overreacting and it’s normal idk

  • I’ve struggled with anorexia for 13 years now. My most recent relapse really messed my body up. The last couple months I’ve been working on allowing myself to eat my fear foods. It’s hard with all the little triggers that swarm, next thing I know I’m telling myself I don’t deserve to eat or I have to earn my food. It feels like an exhausting never ending battle but I will keep fighting. Because I want to live my life again. We all deserve to eat and enjoy life. To anyone who is struggling, hang in there. Don’t give up. Your life is worth living.

  • When you talked about lying your ass off about what you ate, I did that the one time I had a chance at therapy (for depression) and now I regret doing that

  • I think it’s unethical to cast anorexic or bulimic actresses because being in the spotlight is a HUGE risk factor for the illness and contributor to the cyclical thinking behind eating disorders and encourages it. Every psychologist keeps saying people should just stop watching Eugenia Cooney’s channel because it makes you complicit in her behavior, because the attention and fame she gets on the channel exacerbates her mental illness. It also promotes the idea that we should all be little and waif-like and gives other girls eating disorder mentality, when you see an actress promoted as beautiful and fragile when they are actually dying. It’s best to hire people who are healthier mentally than a person with an active eating disorder because fame is no joke to someone who has this particular disorder especially. Would you want to hire someone with a life or death drug addiction to represent your product? Of course not. Why is an eating disorder any different? It’s because of the fetishization of young women’s bodies and the pressure to look fragile and waif like for a striking look. It’s sick.

  • Hi, I am a fan from China and I shared this video to my Chinese friends. They all love the video
    and wondering if I could add Chinese subtitles to your videos and upload it to Chinese social media so they can keep watching them and understand them.

  • Yes! At school I use to only eat a small tub of fruit which consisted of literally 4 grapes and two apple slices. And when I got help I was told I don’t have anorexia because I was three pounds too heavy, even though I was getting help, my brain felt disgusted in myself for not being skinny enough to be labelled as “Anorexic” thinking back to that, It’s makes me so sad.

  • It always bugs be when people think only skinny people have anorexia. Heavier people can, and it is dangerous, because it goes unnoticed.

  • I am recovering from an eating disorder with which I’ve struggled during the last two and a half years before getting better slowly since last autumn. I lost more than a fourth of my original body weight and I think it only kind of stopped at that is because I didn’t throw up at all, although only because I just physically couldn’t. I have always had almost non existent reflexes in my limbs and apparently also lack a gag reflex Tabak works, so although I tried time and again I couldn’t make myself throw up. But that actually made me hate myself even more than I already did, because at the time I looked up to people with what I thought of as “better” eating disorders like Anorexia and bulimia, so myself failing to accomplish getting to that state made me so angry at myself. And one of the worst things I then did was to start self harming to get rid of that hate I felt towards myself, which ultimately made getting better so much harder as I then had to obsessive behaviors that I needed to stop doing.

  • I never forced myself to spew but every morning after breakfast I would spew and I think it was a mental thing because I never once tried or wanted to spew.. and that’s when I realised I did have a problem..

  • Wow she’s still way too thin! I hope she doesn’t think that she’s in a healthy weight now ’cause this isn’t the weight to tell girls is normal

  • I didn’t realize I get the same thing for lunch (at school) everyday until you said you could remember what you ate because it was the same… everyday ;-; and I’m now realizing the more I eat the same thing everyday I eat less and less of it everyday? The same with breakfast. But I don’t think I have an ed?? I hate not eating if that makes sense. It “scares” me if people hear I’m hungry (like my stomach making noises if I don’t eat) so I force myself to eat? Does that make sense�� but like I feel over weight and I’m always thinking about ways I could loose weight while still eating the way I do because I don’t want people to notice if I stop eating? I’m always conscience of my body and what I would look like to other people..

  • victorias secret models look healthy,their rib cage doesnt stick out,they also have meat on their legs.You got way too thin,it looks really bad.You look dead

  • Lily is excellent and deserves her place in the film.
    No matter the weight, the size and the origin of an artist.
    We have to judge on her talent and she is full of it. And she was only 17!
    How many children of stars can’t do it?

  • I regret anorexia so fucking much. Im in recovery and have extreme hunger really bad. Im now fatter than i was before anorexia and also completely out of shape

  • my sister died when she was 15 from diabetes and i swore off high fructose corn syrup, so i swore it off, im a 200 pound man and very healthy, that’s all you need to do… avoid HFCS, nothing wrong with 6 pack abs, nothing wrong with no HFCS. recently i havent been eating at all. im trying, but isnt a danger to my health yet

  • Kinda funny but also horryfing how much people with ed and anorexia have in common… and I’ve just realized that without the throwing up part your history goes basically in the same way for me…

  • I’m actually worried I might be developing an eating disorder… I skip at least one meal everyday so I don’t gain weight and eat maybe up to 900 calories.

  • Yes this sounds like my competition days!!! could you talk more about how your stomach didn’t digest foods?! I had that after my third prep

  • I do think that the victoria fashion show and other things alike are very dangerous. A lot of man say they are really hot and as a (young) woman this can really influence you

  • Omg at lunch you ate the same things I eat like almost everyday!! But instead of a carrot I eat a zucchini or a pepper (plus celery and hummus)
    Btw I can relate to many things you said wow…
    I hope I’ll be able to leave this bad cycle too:(

  • I suffered from purging disorder for a brief period of time and managed to hide it from my family and friends and to this day nobody knows. Thankfully I didn’t get out of hand, although the main reason I stopped the behaviour was because my country was going through an economic crisis and food was becoming more scarce and thus I felt ashamed about throwing it up.