How to deal with Your Bad-Influence Buddies

 

Ways To Recognize Toxic Friendships

Video taken from the channel: Psych2Go


 

Jordan B Peterson How to remove toxic people from your life

Video taken from the channel: Stoic Motivation


 

What to do when your friends are a bad influence on you (FRIEND ADVICE FOR TEENS)

Video taken from the channel: Abbi Winslow


 

Hanging out with your bad influence friends

Video taken from the channel: Kam Stax


 

“WALK AWAY From BAD Friends!” Jordan B. Peterson (@jordanbpeterson) #Entspresso

Video taken from the channel: Evan Carmichael


 

Stay Away from Friends Who Are Bad Influences

Video taken from the channel: How To DIY


 

10 Differences Between Good Friends and Toxic Friends

Video taken from the channel: BRIGHT SIDE


If the answer is no, you’ll need to really think about your relationship. Friends who drink too much, eat junk food constantly, gossip about others, or focus on material things will influence you to do the same—it’s human nature to want to connect with others at their level. Again, start a conversation.

Friends who drink too much, eat junk food constantly, gossip about others, or focus on material things will influence you to do the same—it’s human nature to want to connect with others at their level. Again, start a conversation. Set boundaries Genuinely express your needs and feelings Limit the amount of time you socialize with bad influence friends Don’t force anyone to change but leave it to them Leave friendships where you feel offended or endangered Turn negative people into supporters. If your guy has been hanging out with his friends, and you feel that they are a negative influence, one way you can handle the situation is sitting down and talking to him in a mature way.

The key to doing this is making sure you don’t come across as someone who is giving him a lecture. 1. Talk to teachers. They spend nearly as much time with your kid as you do, if not more. Ask them direct questions 2. Circle the wagons every night.

Put the chores and the screens aside and spend focused time with your child every 3. Observe peer-to-peer interactions. Invite other kids to. A close friend’s downsides and occasional flip-outs, on the other hand, have a greater effect on your life.

You actually care what happens. If your friend is one of the “bad friend” types above and they sap your energy, patience and resources regularly, it’s a fair bet that you’re better off cutting this person out from your tight knit friends. Decide whether this person is even worth keeping as an acquaintance. If they accuse you of considering a friend a bad influence, instead focus on their own determination and influence. Something as simple as, “I always thought you.

My Teen’s Friend Is a Bad Influence about how to handle the Sophie situation. Sophie who has been a long-term friend. It is possible that your daughter and Sophie are experimenting with.

Invite your guy to hang out with other people. When, despite all your efforts, you can’t change your perspective on his friends, and you have concluded that they are indeed a bad influence, you can encourage your guy to hang out with other people more often. There must be other groups of friends that your guy has.

List of related literature:

I have found that by removing the blame from them and accepting it on yourself, you are not only more accepted, but you are also more effective in positively affecting their life choices by enabling people-centered empowerment, as suggested by Kronenberg & Pollard (2005, p. 71).

“Occupational Therapies without Borders Volume 2 E-Book: Towards an ecology of occupation-based practices” by Frank Kronenberg, Nick Pollard, Dikaios Sakellariou
from Occupational Therapies without Borders Volume 2 E-Book: Towards an ecology of occupation-based practices
by Frank Kronenberg, Nick Pollard, Dikaios Sakellariou
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

If you want to change your behavior, either you need to stop seeing your accomplices or turn them into friends, or you need to change your friends.

“Feel Better Fast and Make It Last: Unlock Your Brain’s Healing Potential to Overcome Negativity, Anxiety, Anger, Stress, and Trauma” by Dr. Daniel G. Amen
from Feel Better Fast and Make It Last: Unlock Your Brain’s Healing Potential to Overcome Negativity, Anxiety, Anger, Stress, and Trauma
by Dr. Daniel G. Amen
Tyndale House Publishers, Incorporated, 2018

If, however, the toxic friend draws alliances, polarizes the group, or engages in other problematic behaviors, don’t fall for it.

“
from “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
by Ramani S. Durvasula Ph.D
Post Hill Press, 2019

So if you can’t persuade them to change their ways, you’ll do better to find some new friends.

“The Book of Virtues for Boys and Girls: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories” by William J. Bennett, Doug Flutie
from The Book of Virtues for Boys and Girls: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories
by William J. Bennett, Doug Flutie
Aladdin, 2008

Sort them out without changing yourself, without allowing their dense energy to sully your own energy.

“The Book of Light: Ask and Heaven Will Answer” by Alexandra Solnado
from The Book of Light: Ask and Heaven Will Answer
by Alexandra Solnado
Atria Books, 2011

These friends should also be willing to correct and admonish you when they see that you are in the wrong (Prov.

“The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict” by Ken Sande
from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande
Baker Publishing Group, 2004

How do you think you can keep your friends who are a good influence on you?

“So You're About to Be a Teenager: Godly Advice for Preteens on Friends, Love, Sex, Faith, and Other Life Issues” by Dennis Rainey, Barbara Rainey, Rebecca Rainey, Samuel Rainey
from So You’re About to Be a Teenager: Godly Advice for Preteens on Friends, Love, Sex, Faith, and Other Life Issues
by Dennis Rainey, Barbara Rainey, et. al.
Thomas Nelson, 2003

If they’re unable to stop acting destructively, it may be time to trade them in for a better set of friends.

“When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You” by Jan Yager
from When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
by Jan Yager
Touchstone, 2010

However, if this does not work, avoid these types of ”friends” altogether.

“Instinct Based Medicine: How to Survive Your Illness and Your Doctor” by Leonard Coldwell
from Instinct Based Medicine: How to Survive Your Illness and Your Doctor
by Leonard Coldwell
Strategic Book Publishing & Rights Agency, LLC, 2008

Those you have harmed by speaking against them in court on behalf ofa friend, by all means apologize to them; tell them there was no avoiding it, lead them to expect that you would show the same zeal and energy on their behalfif they joined in friendship with you.

“Ancient Rome: An Anthology of Sources” by Christopher Francese, R. Scott Smith
from Ancient Rome: An Anthology of Sources
by Christopher Francese, R. Scott Smith
Hackett Publishing Company, Incorporated, 2014

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

[email protected]

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156 comments

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  • Yes, yes, yes. People are so stuck on themselves! Social Media plays a huge role in depravity, selfishness, and the me, me, me syndrome!

  • The last one….

    Once I told my best friend I had a crush on someone and this other person found out about it and he told her he knew who it was and she specifically told him, “I don’t need to know, I respect her too much to find something like this out.” I almost cried for how happy I was.

  • Ive made the decision to cut both of my fathers out of my life. Its weird… My father is not really abusive to me, but he isn’t supportive. He’s just… Nothing to put it bluntly. He pays the bills for my family at home, yeah, and I respect him for that, but I have no interest in his interests anymore, just so we share something… Anything between us.

    Im in a very difficult time of my life. I hate how its come to this, but he has shown zero interest in being a part of my life, and after seeing this video, I cannot allow him to take up space in my head any longer.

  • Almost all of my short friendships since I became an adult were with a “user”, either for: my car, my time, my energy, my help, my money. They knew I loved to always help a friend in need in any way possible in exchange for laughs, memories and their company, which results in me getting emotionally destroyed in the end. Only my childhood/teenagehood friends weren’t users…
    Why is it so difficult for adults to be mutually respectful with their close ones?

  • True friends will pat you on the back to praise your achievements. Toxic friends pat you on the back to find the best place to put the knife.

  • When I was little and I would just say anything I want, I was toxic, but now I have learned my mistakes and I try my best not to be a toxic friend, but now all my childhood friends are toxic to me because I am not toxic.

  • i believe i’m friends with a faker. i need help!!

    the situation is, were friends that have dated in the past, and have tried to still have a close friendship. nothing wrong there until you consider that they talk bad about me behind my back, yet say to my face that they care about me. they’re incredibly toxic and anytime i try to distance or ignore, they just demand what’s wrong and be manipulative. what do i do?

  • No!, is a great way to get rid of those toxic dorks who come along. One guy already knew that I detest having male guys stay overnight in my home. I allowed one guy to stay twice and I told him I didn’t like having anyone over night. He’s dense but I got the message over to his thick dumb skull, I ‘ve told him no on other occasions where he attempted to gain control of me. fa cough.
    Then this other guy wanted to come stay over, he put it like this…”I need to stay at your place for maybe two nights a week and sometimes just one night and so on.” I did allow him to spend a night in a detached building but told him, I’ll be awake early to take you to town. I also very clearly and without any stuttering told him. “You are not moving into my home!” fa cough

  • Ditch the creeps. You will be better off, I guarantee it. Life is too short to put up with antagonists. Ditch them. You can do it. You can thank me later.

  • I got this amazing job and my friend’s congratulations was a sarcastic ‘Well, I suppose I should say congratulations’…. I had noticed it over the years, but she always felt herself better than myself. A huge pay day made her show her real side. I just stopped that with no explination at all. Walk away.

  • It’s so smart to be aware of our relationships with ourself and others. You’re right, other people can definitely have an influence over how we act and the choices we make so be willing to do what’s best for you.

  • When you have to study:
    Real friend: Okay sure! Call me back if you’re free! Its fine if you don’t either ways
    Toxic friend: Oh well, I guess you dont care about me anyways (Me: What???) Her: Nothing, i was agreeing that you need to study, yeah, yeah, whatever (sarcastic) Me: what is that supposed to mean. Her: Just agreeing with you is that wrong?

  • I always wanted to spend time with my friends but it’s bc I’m always lonely not much people like me so I stay around my friends if I had any

  • Googling something to see who’s right isn’t toxic. Especially if you admit you were wrong.
    But wanting to be right is a super human trait. Almost everyone is like that in some aspect

  • Even though my friend will see this she will tell I’m toxic even though she is.. like why doesn’t she understand me.. I muted her and am not seeing her messages.. idk what to do like seriously.. pls help me

  • my “best friend” constantly talks bad about me, criticizes my body and face and is just toxic over all. the issue is she always regrets it and texts me saying sorry.
    but idk what to do anymore. i’ve tried to stop being her friend. it has never worked. whenever i tell her what she’s doing is toxic she starts making fake accusations and calls me toxic.
    help.

  • I don’t think I have a single friend who shows interest in my life or celebrates my achievements, I’m the only one doing that for them.

  • Friends who try to keep you down as you try to better yourself and your life cut them loose dont feel guilty they will be happier with people on their same level –

  • Really? If your bff is wearing something completely inappropriate, or an outift that would get them unnecessary bad attention, I would be honest. I’d tell them it looks bad and not to wear it, in order to look out for them. Not because I’m being toxic, but because I care.
    Saying the ‘nice’ stuff shouldn’t be equated to actually being nice.

  • Looking for more of my #Entspresso videos? They are now on their own channel. You can subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBZulgNQlMq2Uwxp3mnPhwg?sub_confirmation=1

  • I’m in a toxic friendship with a good friend I’ve met w years ago. We had a time where she ignored me and gossiped about me behind my back. I had no one to really fall onto. So for 5months it lasted. I even thought of self harm to get her to fix things. We still aren’t amended. But thanks to some of the best people in the world I realized how bad the friendship was.

  • I had a toxic freind in school and he made me do pathetic things and he never wanted the best for me and made my enterance even worse.

  • I’m sad that my old friend doesn’t want to have a better life… and he tries to encourage me to do their things like alcohol. For me alcohol is sometimes a reward to celebrate with people or just have a good conversation no matter what’s about. He does it habitually every day but for me problem is that my friend doesn’t work for some months. I was trying to stop it and help him but he doesn’t want. He was always stressed for his parents or other circumstances. I was telling him about getting a job, moving out and live his life.:( Every meeting with him is about drugs… we have mutual friends and people see that. I don’t want to pretend that all is good. He has these texts like “YOLO”, “computers are bad for people” (I’m programmer and I think he knows that by these sentences he tries to get me out for next drinks).:(

  • I have a negative friend who is good at manipulating others and making everyone seem to like him. But just when they think they can trust him, he brings them down. He doesn’t like how I’m trying to achieve my goals in life and accused me of being egotistical. I’m trying to cut the ropes and let go of him but it’s so hard because I’ve known him my whole life.

  • If you enjoy our work and want to help us continue creating more of these videos, could you support us by sharing any of our videos from our channel on social media? More exposure means we have more means to do more! If you did, let us know! Also, we’re giving away free stuff here: https://psych2go.shop/collections/free-stuff Grab our latest book about introversion for free!

  • I was progressing and doing well and I could feel their jealousy grow. Until he answer back to me “I could give a fuck what you do.” And that made me cut them off

  • Birds of a feather? Flock together!…… Folks do like people like themselves?? They can say differently???? Nah?? One….. two….. deep friends in a lifetime!…… is a blessing!……

  • Earning stuff, money, career, outward success is just half of what success is. Most that get these things realize how they are still empty.

  • I use to have a lot of friends but when I start to notice stuff I knew I needed to change and slim my path much more. Best decision i made.

  • My friends never take the time to message me themselves, it’s always up to me to message them. They blame me for events occurring in their life, saying that they don’t want ‘negativity’ and cutting contact with me over differences in opinions.

    It’s lead me to believe I’m a toxic person, that I deserve to be treated like this and in all honesty made me feel worthless. It’s hard to make friends, I’m a nervous wreck around new people and find it hard to feel comfortable in social situations.

  • I have fun n I be myself around this friend… but he’s been toxic lately… I told him I need a break from him because of it.. he got mad n told me he might drop me… I’m lost… I want to be friends but at the same time I dont want the energy he brings to the table.. i need help

  • thanks Mickael Today I start a new productive agenda to be sure I use my day efficiently. Thanks an many thanks again to be there!

  • my friend are toxic but I’m forced to stay with them because…

    they gossip about people if you leave them. I’d rather be depressed for the rest of my school year instead of being bullied for my whole school year ����

  • I recently lost a friend because she had organised an event that I couldn’t attend. Funny enough the event she was hosting is exactly what I had shared with her some years ago as my dream. She hosted the first event in July and didn’t even tell me about it. It came out weeks later during a conversation we were having. And I was like “wow, why didn’t you invite me”…she was dismissive about it and I just left it. In the same conversation she mentioned to me that she wants to host another event because the first was not so successful and she believed that if I spoke at the second event a lot of people would benefit. Basically she tried to run with my idea and my purpose but failed dismally and pretended that my participation would benefit her audience. But obviously she was trying to use me for her own advancement. I strongly believe that if you steal someone’s idea you’d never execute it the way they would so I was shocked but didn’t really care bcos if she felt that that was her purpose too then ��‍♀️��‍♀️. Unfortunately a couple of weeks before the event I experienced a terrible situation that affected my finances and I immediately called her and said I won’t be able to make it. She didn’t even bother to ask me how I was doing or if I was okay. The first thing she wanted to know was the price of the airfare. I was shocked. Although we had been friends for a while I would not accept any monetary help from her to get to her event bcos in the past I’ve heard her talk really bad about folk she had helped. So I explained to her that I can’t make it. She got really upset and ghosted me. I tried to reach out but she ignored me. So thanks for posting this video because now I know that my mistake was that I pursued a friendship with someone who added no value to my life and did nothing to make themselves a better person. I gave more than what I got back. Lesson learnt.

  • I’m guilty of tagging along with ‘friends’ just for the alliance, when in truth our values and ideals don’t see eye to eye. I want to walk away but do I want to throw away years of friendship? Or maybe we were friends only because we’re placed in a situation that’s convenient for us?

  • Is being a parent of young kids a reason to be a shitty friend to someone of over 10 years of friendship? I’m dealing with this now with my friend. Constant fights about her putting me last and not living up to the friendship that I’ve given to her. Heartbreaking to say the least. I’m not sure maybe I’m being the selfish one. It definitely doesn’t feel like a two way street.

  • This video was awesome and I couldn’t agree more with the things that were said. My husband and I have recently made the decision to start distancing ourselves from a woman who we considered to be our closest friend for the past almost 18 years. She is a good bit older than my husband and I (she is now in her early 60s and my husband is in his mid-40s and I’m in my late 30s). We met her back in 2002. We instantly clicked and she and her now ex-husband became very close friends of ours. We spent a great deal of time together and greatly enjoyed each other’s company over the years. It was almost like we were family. Her husband suddenly up and left her a little over 7 years ago in 2012 with no warning. He just took off one day after they had an argument and he hasn’t been seen or heard from ever since (kind of a strange situation). My husband and I now joke that maybe he saw something in her that we have only recently started to see. This “friend” has had quite a negative impact on my husband and I over the last few years and it’s only getting worse. Over the past few years, whenever we have gotten together with her, she would almost always somehow find a way to make my husband and I argue. It’s like she would subtly pin us against each other in various ways. My husband and I have been together for a total of almost 19 years and we never argue the way that she seems to make us argue when we are in her presence. It’s almost like she gets entertainment out of it. We could be having a perfectly nice day and then she would start picking out various little things that she knows my husband and I do that irritate each other and would just keep poking and prodding until we started having a full-blown argument. On top of that, she has been extremely disrespectful when she comes to our home and has made comments like, “You really need to clean this place up! Why are you such slobs?!” or “Why in the world would you choose that paint color for this room?!” or “What were you thinking when you bought that table?! It’s awful!” Also, she has been EXTREMELY disrespectful of our political views over the last several years to the point where she insults us, talks down to us, raises her voice towards us, and essentially insinuates that my husband and I are lacking intelligence simply because we don’t agree with her politically. She would even do this publicly at restaurants when we would go out. She would raise her voice to the point where people would start staring at us. We finally decided to “take a break” from her. It has now been almost 4 months since we have gotten gotten together with her, which is the longest we’ve ever gone without seeing her, and I have to admit that we don’t really miss her! In fact, she actually left quite an insulting comment on something political that I posted on Facebook the other day. It was so rude that several of my friends actually came to my defense and told her that she was wrong, to which she never responded….go figure. My husband and I have decided that it’s probably time that we move on from our friendship with her. We have started spending time with new friends from my husband’s job and have been having a great time with them. This woman may have been a great friend to us in the past, but if all she is doing now is bringing negativity into our lives, why keep her around and continue the friendship? It has clearly become toxic in recent years, so it’s probably time for us to cut ties with her.

  • Time to eliminate a toxic, gaslighting,negative,”friend”. Too bad since we been friends for 28 years. Sometime friends become cement boots.

  • I had a friend who happened to be a Narcissist. She was Jealous, Envious, Insecure, Spiteful, Bitter and Hateful. She would give me back handed compliments, Cut me off while I was talking and switch the topic back to herself, walk in front of me and the one time she purposely showed up to my birthday dinner a half hour late and tried to blame her boyfriend with a smirk on her face. The icing on the cake was when I became engaged she didn’t like when people would tell me my ring was beautiful, congratulate me or ask me about my wedding plans so the very next day she started wearing random rings on her ring finger even though she is not engaged all because she was Jealous, Envious and Insecure that I was engaged. Now that I am married ( June 8th 2019) She has been mimicking and copying me, Stalking me, Stalking my friends on social media who she doesn’t even know and tried to befriend them which was a fail because my friends blocked her. I cut her off and never looked back. Nothing but the Jezebel spirit!

  • I broke with my old friendgroup. Best decision I made. Then I became cocky and decided to say yes to an invite. Bad idea. It was toxic, no other way to say it. Lesson learned.

  • My words.. “get with it” this stops me from overthinking or hesitating it leaves no room for doubt or fear and if I mess up learn from the lesson and keep with it ahead. Thanks believe nation

  • A friend of mine I know for 3 years she becomes a good friend of mine she always there for me but she is a disgusting horrible girl this June month ago she made a fake account dmed me “Die Slut” I know it’s was her the way she talks she says “I don’t deserve to live” I am not going to be her friends anymore she told me “die slut” 100 times I message her friends I said “she never act like that” her friends were shocked she’s 22 I’m 18 turning 19 October she’s a horrible person this video help me I lost 3 years of friendship she became toxic since this quarantine this made me better

  • Thank you, Evan. I’ve known for a long time now my friends are not good friends for me, but I’ve been trying to hold out hope that things would change. They are good people, and they’re not the type who woulden’t want to see me do well or who i can’t talk about my successes. But I’m in that position of feeling like I’ve been trying to save them…. they don’t want help, and I think they’re thinking I’m starting to come off as judgemental and narcissistic. I tried introducing them to jbp and others and carefully trying to help them myself, but it always get’s thrown off by some mundane selfish conversation that goes nowhere. I don’t feel like I can talk to them without being interrupted about myself or what’s important to me as I’ve tried to listen and take interest in them. It’s hard to walk away. But I’m 21 and im not even through community college. I just got back in school and I’m on track to get A’s and fix my GPA if I keep it up. I’ve been living for my friends happiness before my own. I hoped we could all get our act together collectively, I’ve lost so much sleep wishing things could be different. That’s not fair to me or them. I have a difficult decision to make. It would sound easy and I know what I ought to do. I just hope we can part ways wanting the best for one another.

  • Voluntarily leaving your “tribe” of friends can feel very similar to being shunned by the tribe, which as JP has explained, we’re very hard-wired to fear. So it can be a very hard thing to do, however necessary it may be.

  • A true friend is almost impossible to find. Try to ask old people around you how many true friends they have had in their life. All the ones I have asked admitted sooner or later that the true answer to that the question is “zero”. If they don’t reply zero, then be critical and dig a little in their answers and study their body language and tone of voice.

  • This is a great video! You hit some great points about so called “friendship” social media has created major monsters and follower’s in society!!!

  • I can tell you this ever since my first year of school I’ve known what a toxic friend I have only had three real friends in my life. The other ten are just toxic people who were trying to change my mind heated self. Younger Me:Oh it’s no big deal there just friends!
    Me now after watching this video:I’M STOPING THE LINE!

  • i did bad things to the friends i had in secondary school and liked it, i hated them a lot, now in high school i told them everything, i told them the bad things ive done and did not refuse the things they said,i also asked them not to be friends with me.I know they hate me but i dont feel guilty,now my aim is not to do any harm to the new friendships i am having and the people i love

  • I try to run but she just sucks me back in with her act then hurts me with words makes me insecure makes me hate really nice people

  • Surrounding myself with people I can trust and actively searching for good friends are the two tips I will practice. Great advice, Evan! I like what you said about “thinking about ourselves not being the default” I want to be a good friend. And, I want good friends in my life.

  • I just confronted my friend about this. She was ignoring me for weeks and I didn’t want us to resent eachother so I tried to be her friend again and she said she couldn’t. I came to this video and found out she was toxic to me. Even though now I know she was no good for me I still can’t help but feel sad that we aren’t friends

  • ‘The biggest regret I have in life is letting people stay in my life longer than they deserved’-idk I just know it wasn’t me who wrote this originally

  • jordan peterson! the new personal development shooting star on youtube! ��damn, this guys is so well-spoken and sharp, i will keep trying to get there with my own content…

  • This includes family and relatives too, get rid of the irrationally negative (to disagree) people who don’t try to align with your pursuit and vision to better yourself.

    Also insecure people are the worst, they will pretend to be okay with what you do or who you is, but whenever you do or become better than these insecure people they will try to restrict, control, sabotage, or harm you! Furthermore, insecure people are so unstable internally that they will avoid being liable and responsible for whatever wrong they do cause that will make them more insecure, but will try to reap everything that is deemed right. Lastly observe how they respond to a difficult situation and listen very close to the words they say, because they may be indirectly telling you of their insecurities.

  • Although I fundamentally agree with this, i think it is not always right. Example. Your friend does not agree with you politically; but you also get on with this person in different areas (past, mutual people, sports, poker holidays… whatever). The problem is, your friend sometimes calls you a loony left or a racist in heated debate, maybe they resent your ideology, but you always connect in other areas that satisfies your social life. Shouldn’t you overlook your political differences and find the mutual net benefit?

  • One of my friend: LETS PLAY COD
    Me: no
    Him:LEAVE THE GAME
    Also him but 1 year ago: Dude wanna play Fortnite
    Me:yeah sure
    Current him:*Shouting*

  • I don’t know what to think of my friend anymore, she is nice a lot of the time, but she argues with everyone so much and gets really upset if we retaliate negatively, which makes us feel guilty. One of my close friends and I seem to be the only ones who can recognise her bullshit. She makes up excuses for certain things and always tries to make herself seem like the victim if someone else if trying to prove a point. I’ve considered confronting her multiple times but I don’t think I have the guts go do it.

  • Girl! Love these tips and the story about your dad! I had some bad friends that i wish i would have done this back in high school!

  • I come a cross with a narcissist. I need true friends who are responsible and kind and will have my back because I’m so ready to give myself to.

  • After watching this video, anytime I think of something negative to say to someone, I want to 1. Think of a positive statement to precede it by, and 2. Change the negative statement into a productive one.

    This is what I would like to he able to do in the future, so I”ll assess my progress three months from now! #BTA2

  • I don’t agree with all of these. Sometimes friends criticize because they actually want to help you or wake you up. Sometimes they only call when they need help because they are barely keeping their lives together and don’t have the headspace to call casually. But they would help you if you need it too.

  • I learnt the hard way, about the friend ‘secret saboteur’, who wants to see you below them, but pretends to be interested in how good, or bad your travelling. When you start getting ahead in life they want to see you back down again etc. Tall Poppy Syndrome…. I was naive to not identify that personality trait of “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer” mind set. It also works with family and extended family as well.

  • Thinking how my best friend of 15 years and I just belittle and roast each other daily. There’s a difference between toxic friends and a true BEST friend

  • Have any of you felt like the right video comes at the time when you’re experiencing the exact same thing??? I got this feeling now and 5 days ago when listening to #Entspresso Barack Obama’s “Take Responsibility For Your Life”. Amazing yet uncanny. Thanks Evan. #BTA2 ��

  • This is something I’m constantly working on! I’m not great at keeping close with the few positive people in my life so today I’m gonna message 2 supportive friends and say hi. #BTA2 #Dream

  • Thanks…I am just trying to be myself..so this subject is on my plate at present…and i have had these isuess most of my life with people….its a about boundries and trying to get people to respect and know mine….thanks for the podcast..its a real help…as I am going the this topic at present..

  • i’m watching this in 2020..
    i made this group
    7 out of 9 of my best friends were toxic, then i realized they did a lot of things behind my back, a lot of negative things. and i don’t like it because their conversations always involve me, or sometimes the just don’t know how to respect others. and last month i wanted to unfriend them and gave them advice to become better, instead of apologizing to me (i was the victim of their toxic-ness), they insulted me with harsh words, they became mad. and i was thinking, ‘i was supposed to be the one who’s mad, why are you guys mad about it tho, i wanted to part away from you guys..?’, one of them insulted me with the parent-child examples, like ‘you’re not a kid who’s begging attention to their parents anymore, stop being childish’ when i was having family issues. i don’t understand why’re they mad just because i wanted to part away from them.. and the thing that i noticed that is now i’m happier and not depressed without them

    and i’ve been watching your videos since they weren’t really mean

  • Guess I was the unaware and I have been improving on that but @least for me I accepted mine unlike others who don’t oh well it shall get better….

  • Great video. Thank you. I have also recorded a video on toxic people and how to deal with them. Check it out on my channel. Peace.

  • I’ve had to do this plenty of times. It hurts but it’s worth it. 2 main ways I use to ‘judge’ toxic people are 1 whether they add or subtract from your life and 2 which is related to one, whether the relationship survives without you making the effort (eg relationships are 2 way streets. If it doesn’t survive without you investing into it then you are in an unhealthy one-sided relationship)

  • Slua Gairm is and Irish and I think Scottish (both being very similar languages, but I only speak Irish Gaeilge) Slua is a crowd or horde and gairm is a roar/statement basically a war cry by an army before battle.

  • I don’t think slogan is from welsh. May be it’s from Sanskrit. Where some kind of prayers or wishes are sung when one prays and that’s called a Slogam in sanskrit

  • Toxic family is crazy
    This BLM ANTIFA leftist war only about retribution and revenge
    Lolz any Jedi can see the federal government has been seduced by the dark side

  • What about family who mocks you and even looks down on you when you are trying to make positive life changes? For example I’ll over weight and and I’m getting healthier because I don’t wanna be on medications and die of something I can prevent. When I prepare veggies or say “no thank you I don’t eat that(anymore) they roll their eyes and sometimes ask me if I would like something they know I shouldn’t have m. They try to tempt and pressure me into the the things I’m trying to steer away from. I love them but I DO NOT like them. I want to separate but I always feel like I shouldn’t. Tips?

  • For anyone asking themselves how do they know if it’s them or the other person (similar situation here), ask yourself does that person facilitate your development? People in your circle will naturally add to your life/energy by telling the truth and aiming upwards/towards the good. Friends/loved ones like that only want the best for the best part of you. To determine if you’re the toxic one, ask yourself the same questions. Do I tell the truth (to myself and others)? Am I aiming at my ideal (self and situation)? Facing this truth is hard, but suffering is part of living a fulfilling life. A lesson I have yet to start following.

  • How can you tell if someone is toxic or essential to your growth? Wouldn’t you want to keep some people around? And what do I do if i’ve fallen in love with a toxic person?

  • My bestfriend is suicidal but toxic she has good intentions but is just so messed up I am an INFJ I dont want to let go (neither does she) and i try so hard to help her but she has anger issues when i try to tell her how we can make this work she just said this is the real me so many things are going on in her life but I care too much about her to see her go down hill she is just so stubborn please someone help me our last talk is tomorrow at 1pm she said I’m the only thing keeping her alive and if I tell the school consular it will just things worse I cant do this anymore please give me advice thank you
    And if you need more info I’ll give it to you

  • I think we should rely less on others for validation but when people are intentionally sabotaging or attacking you distance yourself and if need be retaliate. Once you have been targeted many frenemies will not just let you go give less attention to them though.

  • This goes for family who won’t respect you, and let you have your own views. Just replace the word “friends” with “family” and see where you land….

  • I have a “bad friend”, lol, which is a new term to me, I never heard of it until today, but that’s what my “friend” is, he actually gets happy if something bad happens to me, he enjoys it if I had a miserable day. We’ve been friends for almost 20 years and he used to be alright, but like most people, he changed with age, not for the better but for the worse, and it seems like deep inside, for whatever the reason, he hates my guts. I’ve even told him that “with friends like you, who needs enemies” I’ve explained to him how a friend should be. Whatever, he’s my only “friend” but now I never text him or call him unless he texts me or calls me first

  • Good morning #BelieveNation! I got rid of the negative people in my life a few years ago because I couldn’t stand the energy that surrounded them and myself when we were together. My only friends are the people I actively seek out on YouTube and Instagram who are positive, supportive and care. That’s why I’m always looking for like minded people! If anyone wants to follow me and lets support each other, I’m @1craftybeach on Instagram.
    I commit to surrounding myself with people I want to be like every day! #Believe #Focus #BTA15

  • Ive been getting up around 3:40 /4 am for years mainly for work it starts at 5 – 5:30 and now its just a habit.. so now i read and well listen to dr petersons youtube..

  • So. If you look at life as a fork in a road. One fork is decisions that take you where you want to go and the other is decisions that are unhealthy or drag you down (farther from the life that you dream for yourself).
    When you start taking the road to where you want to be, you will inevitably start walking away from the friend you have who are walking the other road. However; I believe there is a vast difference between cutting your friends and learning how to distance yourself in a healthy way. What you want is to be disconnected from there emotions. Present, but not affected by there mood swings or negative things they say or do. Strong enough to not make the choices they make that take you off the right road and drag you back down to where they are. The analogy of walking through the woods and stumbling upon someone screaming for help in a really deep pit. You being the helpful person you are, give them your hand and try to pull them out and they pull you down with them. Now you are both stuck. The next person comes along and you call for help. He walks away and comes back with a rope. He has given you a tool to get out of the pit. He can’t make you use it, but he’s helped you from a healthy distance. I believe that morally, you should be there for your friends. It is selfish to walk away entirely (smarter, sure) but then you have to live thinking about all the friends you left behind, justifying it with “well I had to. They were drowning and I could only save myself”
    I’ve certainly lived with that feeling and I don’t want other people to as well.
    So, as Jordan Peterson said. Your true friends should be those that care about you. Know what you want and consciously help you get there. For example, I have started to quit vaping. My true friend doesn’t do it in front of me anymore. My bad friend will offer me one whenever I’m around him. Does this mean I can’t be there for either of them when they decide to quit? Absolutely not. We are all conscious beings making decisions on this journey. And it’s up to you to make good ones or bad ones. To learn how to live your life without the emotional influence of others around you

  • Toxic people are difficult to identify…. I had a boyfriend… He was very difficult at the end of our relationship.. it took me two years to throw him out because I was emotionally dependent upon him… and had no other support… when you are emotionally dependent on someone u forgive them a lot… He was a psychopath… Very high on Hare list… all sweet talking… perfect mask…

  • the most toxic, vicious, nasty folks Ive dealt w in my life were/are actually the people who needed the most love….twas/its a defense mechanism…still, I keep em @ arms length & dont go outta my way to interact w em…

  • *realizes that my best friend is unaware and an user but still terrified to tell how I feel to her and the entire group of “friends” *

  • Your advice calms me down Dr. Peterson. I have a question I’d like to ask you on one of your q&a’s but idk where to go to post my question

  • I know this is totally unrelated but I couldn’t miss the opportunity
    So…..

    You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you

    1. You are to lazy to read all of the words
    2. You didn’t realise that there is a “ yoo”
    3. You just checked
    4. You feel so bad that you fell for this

    Comment down if you fell for it or not

  • Toxic means super difficult to be with. A real challenge especially when it’s about own family. Those people need extra patience and love from us. Thank you for the video. ��

  • I told the truth & now I find myself a psychological orphan, curiously enough I feel less alone now, than I did when I was trying to conduct a healthy, honest relationship with someone who couldn’t meet me there.

  • I’m very indecisive often when it comes to interacting with others. I’m in a fraternity and everyone is very much all about logical thinking and drinking but in my heart I don’t believe in just about drinking. I think I just need a girlfriend so I have some responsibilities and meaning in my life.

  • tell the truth I like telling the truth I have to say it’s not very pleasant sometimes. abuse toxic family members. I never seem to learn my lesson. you only have one mother. in the end does it really matter……

  • I work in Government and my dept has become very TOXIC
    no one and I say no one will have a conversation for fear of getting into trouble or sacked.

    Egg shells abound

  • My friend called me ugly I told them it hurt my feelings and they didn’t say sorry..I unfriended them on a a game and they said that I would because they were the coolest friend I had..I cried afterward because I have a big heart and it breaks easily..

  • “Tell the truth” is obviously a general rule, but I can imagine a scenario where there is an exception: if uou are Schindler, and some Nazi asks if you’re helping out Jews, do you help him? No, because the moral consequences in this rare instance are more positive in lying. Geneerally, though, do tell the truth.

  • Well to be honest friendship is a two-way street. If you’ve got that one friendship where neither of you is perfect all of the time…I guess you call them out on their sh**, and if it still doesn’t work minimize contact….

  • We may not understand why some people are toxic in our life, but the reasons are definitely there when we really meditate on them.

  • Title has nothing to do with video content for god;s sake who is entitling these videos, ZERO info on HOW TO REMOVE TOXIC PEOPLE FROM YOUR LIFE

  • i used to be the unaware toxic friend as a kid, right now I’m a teen. I have toxic parents so I suppose that was where it came from. I look back and I am shocked as to how I treated my friends. I recently had some flashbacks remembering things from my childhood I had forgotten for years as to the different ways I hurt people. I recently became a lot more self aware with meditation and mindfulness and have had many insights. I lately have had toxic friends who have hurt me so it hurts to know that as a child and teen I hurt people like that.

  • I ended a friendship with my friend of a decade when she started slapping me and spreading rumours + telling my secrets to my whole school and guess what there’s an element of the above that is illegal in Canada (Hitting/Starting a fight)

  • My ex friend kinda all of these, if I didnt say thank you to my parents she would give me long lecture on how bad and evil a person I am and I cried and she just continued to moan about how if she was my mum she would be depressed becuase of me:( then she would get angry at me for the smallest things for example I sent her a tik tok and she didn’t like the music or something in the tik tok so she called me stupid and shouted at me and this happened multiple times the insults I rememeber than came in often were “weirdo” “stupid” “didapoimtnet” “I can’t believe you” “you have ruined my life” and I promise I have done nothing to ruin her life like that. I have always tried my hardest to be the best friend for her. The hardest insult was “you don’t care about me” she would say that if I talked to another person. Even if I was only talking for about a minute even though she never cared aboutt if I was upset she would just say “oh it will be fine” or something but if she was upset I would right a full page about how everything will be fine and how amazing a person she is. That’s what I kept telling myself, that’s she’s amazing. I was lieing to myself cause I didn’t want to relize she is a bad friend. and also I introduced her to my friends and she became close to them and I didn’t mind that but then she would start only wanting to hang out with them and she would plan it on the gc that has them me and her so I though she was asking all of us but no when I said “could I come? x” and my other friends said yes she would privately text me saying “omg I don’t want you to come” “you ruined it for me” “I’m not going if your going” and I just sat there crying reading all those messages. At the end I did come because I gained a little confidence that quickly went away after she yelled and bullied me again. Anyway a few days ago she cut me of saying “I don’t like being around you but I love being around *my other friends*” then she said “and I also feel unsafe around you so we’re taking a long break yiu can only talk to me in class if the teacher says to” but I gained confidence that day I just said “OK” and made new friends I’m so happy now, btw there was nothing I done for her to feel unsafe if we were together and a creepy guy was walking down I was always the one to walk nearest to the guy or whatever anyway sorry if this seems rushed I was trying to get all my feelings out.

  • My best girlfriend who seem to constantly warned me about this meth head around the corner… Warn me two and a half weeks ago to stay away from thiswell I did but when I walked around the corner last week what do you think I found there was my girlfriend worrying and my ex-friend Liz! I could have shit a brick. a bother me so much that I cried so hard my neighbor upstairs heard me and had to come downstairs �� some people say how can I take it so hard it was just a friendship with a woman.well in a way there right because women will put a knife in each other’s back especially when it comes to a man faster than men could ever think possible. I couldn’t believe after this woman borrowed $1,800 from her and only paid back four hundred that she would be around there kissing her ass and getting involved in her brother’s defense because he was accused of shooting and killing someone recently in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania.

    it bothered me because we had made a pact to stay away from this individual I believe she’s been going over there more than once I believe she’s been going over there a lot especially running this woman on her drug runs so she could buy meth at night. But even if I’m wrong on that I know she’s been there more thanonce and to lie to me about it just doesn’t make any sense I’m not her mother although it did hurt me and I am very very disappointed that she would lie to me.when you lie to people you not only disrespect yourself but you’re disrespecting them and then she spun it….. She started to gaslight me. I couldn’t believe itshe picked me up in the car not five minutes after I saw her there and the first thing that came out of her mouth when I was looking at her like I wanted to shake or harrow forehead she looked at me and said raven you’re not yourself today. How intuitive. I just caught my best friend with sumbitch that we had decided we were never going to go around and this is not the first time she’s going back to this woman’s company. So I decided not to answer herthree texts and I decided not to answer her phone call where she says that best friends just don’t stop speaking to one and other. well apparently if she lied to me about going over there she wasn’t speaking to me about it says she’s the one that stopped speaking to me first right?? we’re trying to tell me that somehow I was to blame I took it wrong I wasn’t myself I misinterpreted it all this bullshit that they do when they gaslight, it’s something I’m not going to allow it to happen to me.

    I miss her very very much but apparently I wasn’t put in the four most of her mind and thoughts the last six months that we knew each other maybe the relationship went as far as he could and I got what I was supposed to get out of it. But I will not say I’m sorry ��for taking it the wrong way I saw what I saw and it was a betrayal of me and she knows it.

  • What if you are in a toxic relationship with a friend, but your her last resort before suicide and you don’t wanna be the reason she ends it?

  • I went to my friends graduation art show a week ago. I’m proud of her, but at some point I felt so behind. I think it was at the beginning when walking by the tables because there were a lot of artists there. It wasn’t a feeling that lasted long and I enjoyed looking at all the different creators. Hers, in particular, had a warmth to it that made me smile. Does that make me a bad friend? Maybe if I held on to that thought and treated everyone there horribly even if only in my own mind.

  • My roblox friend Ihaveafunnyjokeforu3 is saying my other are liers idk what to do should I unfriend him please tell me he’s done this before saying some of my best friends did things to him but didn’t

  • My friends never take the time to message me themselves, it’s always up to me to message them. They blame me for events occurring in their life, saying that they don’t want ‘negativity’ and cutting contact with me over differences in opinions.

    It’s lead me to believe I’m a toxic person, that I deserve to be treated like this and in all honesty made me feel worthless. It’s hard to make friends, I’m a nervous wreck around new people and find it hard to feel comfortable in social situations.

  • My entire life I was surrounded by friends who hurt me and I thought it was normal, I wasn’t perfect but they hurt me so bad.
    I came from a toxic house and had low self-esteem so I just let them hurt me, I had one friend who manged to turn my grandfather’s passing to her whining to me about how she misses her neighbor who died year ago, and another one who abandoned me once she got a boyfriend.
    Thank god I got lost touch with them when I finished high school, because my best friend now encourages me to speak up, she supports me and always listens to me, she’s the first friend who made me actually open up and talk about the things that bother me.
    Relationships are great and all but my best friend is the one who’s gonna stay with me for the rest of my life and I’m so thankful for her.

  • my best friend is toxic. I cannot get away from her but she always disrespect me. Whenever I am happy she says something that makes me sad, like really sad. but when she is loving she is really good at it. I keep going back to her ��������

  • Can you tell me if my friend is toxic when ever we play video games we play Minecraft and she always like I have never played in this world and I already have more exp then you just saying. And then when I gave her a room makeover she sad are you kidding me you made me wait for this I mean it’s good but…. so is she toxic?

  • I know that this video was posted along time ago, but I kind of want some advice, so basically iv had somone who I consider to be my bestfriend for about 2 years and we basically talk all the time, iv stayed at her house, we’ve gone on trips together etc and she for some reason hasn’t texted or contacted me in over a month ( she didn’t even wish me happy b day on my birthday) and I just….idk, maybe shes just going through something? But I rlly miss her and idk what to do about it…….

  • I had a friend for 2 years and now I realized he is the worst friend ever he controls me like he is my dad I decided to remove him it’s the best decision I have ever made

  • My best friend is jealous of my accomplishments, never encourages me and always changes the topic when I am down. I’m the complete opposite to this, however, but I don’t have many friends so I’m just going to take what I can get. Thanks for the advice though. (please don’t judge me, making friends as an adult is hard)

  • I honestly do not really know if my best friend is toxic, so I’ll just type this comment.

    I had this best friend of mine, we were friends since kindergarten. Let’s call her Bitch. She wasn’t as toxic since kindergarten, but primary school and middle school is a different story. Everytime I went to her house and we sang to a song, she told me to shut up and stop singing cause i’m trash. When we danced, she called me a flat bitch and told me to stop dancing cause i’ll just embarass myself. When I moved to a different city, she missed me and told me I betrayed her because I moved. I had other friends like this girl, lets call her Hannah. And another friend that I will call Sally. Hannah was pretty sensitive, Bitch told her to stop singing and she will never succeed as a singer. She threw rocks at Sally, (Bitch did) and Sally started bleeding after Bitch threw a sharp thorn and it made Sally bleed, Bitch called her a crybaby, and told her she should stop crying cause it makes her seem weak. They went through this for months, while Bitch was acting all nice and stuff. Sally had enough and moved to a different country, but Hannah is still in the same school as Bitch. Bitch was my friend for years, and I’m trying to cut her off. She really hurt my self esteem, and almost made me commit suicide. Sally told me to not listen to her, Bitch also compares me to Sally and tells me i’m useless and Sally is much better than me. I told her she was toxic and needs to stop being so rude to her friends, she called me a bitch and fake cried, so all my classmates can say that i’m fake. I moved as I stated before, but my friend Hannah hasn’t. I wanna try and help my friend Hannah cut her off, and I want advice on how to cut off Bitch. What should I do?

  • My friends being shady, and I feel lile shes doing shit behind my back. She talks shit about her friends to me, so I feel like she does

  • I have a internet friend. We have been friends for 5 years. She was quite deppressed and I had always be beside her and helped her. Our mutual hobby was drawing. A few years ago we had opened an instagram page for our art. Since I had just started leaning drawing I used to suck at it but I still did my best. She mostly published her own art and even delete one of mine cause it was not good enough. Needless to say I had become really insecure about that. I had hold a grudge about that for a long time. Then I started seriously studying about art in my free time and in 2 years I had so long passed her.

    Now here is when the problem started. We still send us eachothers arts. Since my art was better than her she had started showing jealousy and the worst part is I liked it. I liked how better I was from her. And this had started to my ego to grow. A few months ago I noticed what was happening and I hated it. I didnt wanted to become someone toxic! So I stopped sending her my art. It was kinda hard. I wanted attention and feel her jealousy but I really did my best. Then I had list the positive and negative parts about our friendship.

    Positive: Someone to talk about art, a friend
    Negative: Makes my inner ego grow, makes her feel jealous, makes both of us feel insecure.

    In the end I thought of ending our friendship. If it was hurting both of us why continue? Of course I didnt tell her this. She doesnt have much friends, I am sure that would cause just more trust issues for her. So I had started to slowly grow away from her. I didnt started converstaions, I didnt seem to eager to text her and gave short replies. Then yesterday she send me another text and said ‘if I die would you be sad’. I had recieved these kinda text from her quite a lot of time. I knew she wouldnt do anything to herself. She just needed atteniton. But I couldnt just ignore that message so I had talk to her and tell her things like she is amazing and ‘please dont do anything’. What should I do?

  • I”m fine with this idea, but how can I find worthy people to deal with when all of the people around me are fuckwits and are like what Peterson says to stay away from?
    I want to be with people that are drug free, smart enough to have an intellectual conversation and all, but I just can’t find those people in my area.
    Why do you people want to impose those ideas on me when I just can’t do it?

  • Unfortunately high functioning bpd/vulnerable covert npd mothers don’t understand boundaries and drawing lines in the sand! You will ALWAYS be in the wrong no matter what you do! Running for your life and never turning back is the only way you will have peace.

  • My best friend who lives a long way away from me(we’ve been best friends since we were in diapers)is the only person that I’ve ever been friends with that isn’t toxic I got rid of all my friends at school because I gave have gave but received nothing I recently relapsed my suicidal thoughts and had to go to the hospital and that’s when I made the decision to get rid of all of them it was tough but necessary.I’ve had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was in 4th grade(caused by not only a toxic friendship but an abusive one too)and got help in 7th but relapsed this year (8th)but since quarantine I’ve been getting back on track.I don’t know what you’re going through but I hope you can get to a place where you feel happy about yourself.

  • My best friend is the unaware type…she always makes descisions for me and if i refuse to listen, she guilt trips me into making me listen to her and make descisions that she feels are right. I don’t want 2 lose her and idk how to set boundaries without hurting her.

  • so i had this friend who i felt like they were a fake friend so i decided to tell them that i tihnk they might be a fake friend and that im letting them go then they say that im a fake friend when they say that without proof, i need an answer who is the fake friend here.

  • I have a fake freind

    Well im a user type freind…

    But before i was a user freind.
    My fake freind hates it when i tell her whats wrong she did but always argue that saids that her idea is right

    Or

    Point what my ideas wrong

    Now I only had one thing to say to her

    [BRUH]

  • I’ve had bad experiences with this one guy that I felt was just using me and treated me like trash. This was a toxic relationship, he ultimately left me behind and didn’t care to talk face to face. He didn’t appreciate our friendship anymore. It tore me apart.

  • This is good advice and hard to do, but also too many people who do this coz “only good vibes” shit who are just shitty people. My friends group I was always there for them what ever they needed help with, course work, pc troubles, or simply somone to vent to i was there with a beer and a joint ready if its bad. What friends do right? Then when life took a turn for me and I was looking for help everyone was too busy, but then would post on social media otherwise.

  • I realized it wasn’t mean’t to be because first of all when we first met eachother we were already toxic. Then started liking eachother then we started getting toxic again and they blocked me.

  • Marlon my sons so called friend I will use the following energies to keep him away from my son for the next ten years death panic the. Lake fire and hell paranoia 30 miles this energy will be in full effect by 9 am

  • If a person does not add any value to your life whatsoever OR WORSE, then why the hell do you even associate with the person? Do you feel somehow obligated? Unless you are some kind of therapist. This is exactly why I don”t want to be a therapist and why I love being an introvert. It is the only way to have a peace of mind. The clients would ruin my own happiness in the process. This goes for both men and women out there: learn to have some standards!!!

  • I dropped a toxic friend about a week ago. Did it over text. It felt liberating at first, but then worry started to creep in as I reflected over all the terrible memories we made together, and the fact that I have to see him for another school year. I’m going to try and build the courage to tell him to never speak to me again. (he says he is understanding of how he made me feel)

    He also said the way he treated me was unintentional. Unintentional or not, this friend brought me pain throughout the 9 years we have known each other. And I cant take it anymore.

  • TBH I’m kinda the unaware except I don’t plan out the future of others. If ur wondering the reason….

    It’s simple my whole childhood I used to hide under blankets cuz of fights. That’s pretty much all u know.
    Another thing is I cried everyday after returning from school cuz I had no friends. Still in school lost my BFF who was the faker and competes with me.

    Yep this is my life

  • https://www.facebook.com/100048443602105/posts/145376203753832/?d=n

    I couldn’t spot one, until it was too late

    I had an evil friend for real

    She used her kids to manipulate hundreds of dollars from me, when j was in hospital with kidney failure

  • Bold of you to assume that I have friends. I aready know i have no friends. Im that one that is a nerd and everyone asks for h.w:(

  • I got rid of fake friends 2 years ago because they were not a real friend. They complain about nothing. I found people on Youtube and instagram that really inspired me. Crafty B in Believe Nation is a #focus and a good person to be friend with. Go follow her on instagram @1craftbeach. She is awesome!!! #BTA247

  • Beautiful video, it’s explained extremely well and all needed details are there! It’s very well structured and very pleasant and motivating. Thank you for making it!

  • Users try to get things from you by pretending as though they are doing you some sought of favour for you, so you are pressured to feel guilty that you need to give them, borrow them money etc. They come and pick you up to do something that you were fine doing without, then they act like they are your taxi, they have done you a favour so you owe them, and they will be in a shitty mood when you don’t. It’s like, seriously!!! Don’t pick me up next time then, I would rather not have your friendship if you’re like that.

  • This is why God is my best friend. He helps me sort out the riffraff and brings the right friends closer while exposing the harmful ones. I really believe it is important to pray for the right friends who will build you up and not tear you down, and also hold you accountable. God gives me wisdom in my spirit and in his Word. If you need wisdom about life, read The Book of Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes.

  • #BTA80 Fortunately, I’ve always done this. I don’t hang out with people who aren’t true friends or who don’t really care about me. I’m thinking of applying this concept to work now: surround yourself with like-minded people.

  • What toxic nonsense! I say its okay to walk away and move on from people who want the best for you and just don’t bother making friends.

  • I swear I play a online game and I’m a high lvl (max is 200) after I’m friends for a couple days they will ask to help lvl up and I say yes the next day same and then after that it’s on repeat and I lost so many friends with this issue to the point I hardly trust anyone

  • It’s been 11 years that me and my best friend are friends. I feel like our friendship is force because ours parents are best friends. I did a lot of things with her like traveling, ect. She has a lot of problems in her family. I think that’s why she started being mean to me. She call me selfish, a person that just wants attention and a perfect girl. She often says that my life is perfect and that I don’t have any problems. I might think that she is the first type of friends.(I don’t remember the name) I’m kinda scared to lose her.

  • Jealosy is a million times worse and sneakier than Temper atleast someone who lose their temper you can see it as they ate acting out their emotions and after a while they cool down they are still genuine if you see a jealous friend run to the other side of the world from them

  • Just unfriended one of my friends without saying anything because if i do something she will try and make me feel bad about doing so..

  • Sorry for the rant mainly just getting out my feelings here lol
    Don’t mind me �� A long term friend of mine was most definitely the unaware. They were homeschooled and only had two other friendships in their lives one ending poorly because of very intense issues. Now we had another friend who’s a faker, abuser, and most definitely a user. This girl would straight up insult my unaware friend and make her feel horrible when I was around because she was jealous that she wasn’t getting my unaware friends full attention. But I tried to be nice and maybe if all three of us were friends she’d cool down. It worked for a little while. Then the abuser started lying and sneaking around after being a tight three group for years. The week of Halloween I had lost a family member which took a lot out of me. Then Halloween day my supposed two best friends lied that they were hanging out that day as I was trying to get together with them. The reason why I found out was that my family bumped into them at the store looking at costumes. At a time I really needed friends on a holiday where friends get together they lied and ditched me. After telling them how I felt the abuser manipulated the entire situation saying that I was being overly jealous even though it’s completely valid to want to hangout out with people I did feel comfortable with after something like that. After which they said they didn’t feel the need to speak to me and said they had no idea what they did wrong. Then the abuser stated lies about me and completely ruined my friendship with the unaware. I tried everything I could to salvage the friendship but they wouldn’t even answer me for six months straight. Finally their parents stepped in and told them they were wrong. Honestly just a terrible experience and an awful way to end a friendship especially with one person I thought was genuinely my friend. It’s definitely hard but it’s just one stepping stone in life and there’s plenty of people out there.

  • Yesterday was my bday and many of my friends wished me happy bday some posted stories on Instagram some texted me etc one of my closest friends didn’t say nothing to me we didn’t talk at all I had posted him for his bday a year ago but he didn’t say anything for me this year and we used to hang out before quarantine and the whole year. He has helped me a lot but idk I was expecting something from him. One more I posted him too for his bday twice for 2 years and he just told me happy b’day he didn’t post anything we are pretty close but I feel like he cares more about his girls and less about me. Tomorrow gonna hang out with both of them completely random and idk if I should be mad at them or something:/

  • I have a user toxic friend.Her name is Mia.She only calls me when we are about to start school so that the whole year my grandma gives her free rides to school.And yes her family has a car plus there is a bus stop right in the corner of her house.I think she just comes with me and my grandma because we go an hour later than the bus but we still get to school on time.She is also my friend because sometimes I help her with her homework.(since I’m pre-ap not showing off) Wait there is more she has a pre-ap boyfriend only for him to do her work since she isn’t pre-ap.yeahh thats what I call TOXIC.

  • I used to do whatever possible to make my friends happy; I tried not to buy nice things to avoid making them jealous, I gave them compliments and support when they needed it. In the end, they just took it for granted and began using me as a means to feel better. I stopped doing it and they quickly became cold. If you have to go out of your way to make your friends happy, then they aren’t really friends and should be dropped.

  • They aren’t particularly mean to me. But I often feel ignored and unwanted. Like in our groupchat when I send something, someone will send another message after and they will just respond to that person, every.friggen.time. Not to mention what I sent them was literally me appreciating them. (This was yesterday btw). We all tease each other but I’m often who they gang up on. Like when my one friend for 5 years kicked me and hit me in front of the school because I didn’t wait for her outside the bathroom because I thought she had already left. Anger issues ugh. And I’ve always struggled with friends and they’re the best I’ve ever had. Now this is gonna sound like fishing for compliments or something. But on insta when one of us would post EVERYONE in the group would hype each other up and make eachother feel good about themselves. Like everyone would get compliments. Guess who never got hyped up. Meeeee. Never really received compliments except “you’re getting more aesthetic!” Or “what a beautiful boy! Jk ily” like I don’t need a ton of compliments but if everyone is being so sweet to each other I’d like to be treated kindly as well. Which is why I stopped posting coz it’s just there to make me feel bad. Bro, strangers on ig groups be nicer to me than them. At one point I thought I was that funny one in the group that just never got taken seriously. Until one of my friends made it very clear that she didn’t think I was funny like “haha ur jokes are funny” kind of funny. She thought I was just like a “your clumsy and stupid haha” kind of funny.

  • I just dont understand… my friends are like sometimes can be very good to me but then sometimes they go toxic and says its a joke.. if i try to comfront it.. like i say “is this really what friends are like?” And i say it like politely and like they shut me off immediately… like with words that make me feel bad and points that im just making accusations… i just domt know what is friends anymore

  • For these past 2 months some of my “friends” have been very hypocritical. Like she can say dark humor and it’s okay, but I cant?? Have some “sympathy” is what she always says. She makes me the bad person in the arguements. And switches my words and makes them sound negative. I want to break away, but the rest of my friends love her, and I just don’t know how to break away when either way I’m gonna have to talk to her..:(

  • My “friend” is a faker and I want to tell them that I don’t want to be friends anymore, but they’re the snobby type. I’m afraid that if I tell them they’ll find some way to destroy my reputation for the rest of my school life.

    Help.

  • How do you end a friendship? I have a very toxic friend (a faker to be specific) and for some reason I still love her. I find it very hard to end a friendship, especially with her. Any advice?

  • Via this video, I discovered that I have this unaware friend. I thought she is that person you can tell whatever you want but she’s always on your business and act as if she knows everything about life.

  • So, I need help (this will be long, please bare with me) I think I have a toxic friend. This girl we will call her Olivia (not real name) has been my best friend since I was 14, we met at youth group church, we were best friends since. first girl I had a crush on (cliché I know, sue me) I also had a guy best friend we shall call (mark) (this starts July 2019) Backstory: I am Gay, I came out when I was 15ish and have been out ever since, I have questioned it to just Bi in the beginning but ultimately was a fully certified gay. Mark and I have been best friend since I was in 4th grade, the cliché boy down the road, my brothers best friend. We went on drives together, played guitar in a band together, went camping, ect…So, I struggled with my relationship with him for years, battling my sexuality to try and be with him but it always felt wrong. So, I just decided I wasnt going to date him or pursue men. He got extremely depressed. He ended up blocking me on everything for months on end, then would re-add me, apologize, we’d go for a drive and talk about the depression, but it would start again, and then a third time. And by the forth I gave up. Here is why. My best friend a Olivia knew about him for years, help me talk it through. We came to the conclusion I don’t love him like that, but there has always been something up until a last year or so, (I found my fiancé) (Fast forward June) I have been trying to get my two best friends to hang out for months/years they never could get the timing correct. I specifically wanted to go camping and hiking. I noticed one day at an open mic night they were texting, I said “oh I didn’t know you both were talking to each other, just be careful he falls in love easily.” She said “dont worry, I dont like him that way. He’s like my brother” (He isn’t her type at all) I continue to hang with him like we usually do and her occasionally. He would ask about her, if she was single, do you think she’d like me? I was honest, “you could try I wouldn’t be against it at all, shes a good person, but I promise you she doesn’t like you that way and you aren’t her type” he is 5’5 slighty muscle type man, she likesaa tall…bigger.. men. Now here we are, the moment everything went down hill. The last night I saw Mark. We all love sushi, I wanted to make some and pot stickers. So, I got everything needed with the help of Mark. It was a blast just shopping with him and dancing in the aisles at 11pm after one of our night drives. It took me about half an hour maybe an hour, for everything to finish. The exact second we sat down he got a text from his drunk boss he was always helping, she needed help at her property in the mountains, he was up and out of his chair in seconds and was gone, without his guitar he brought. I didn’t hear from him for a week, (it wasn’t unusual) I was waiting on a text asking me to come pick up his guitar and then go for a drive like we always do. Absolutely nothing. The day I was going to text him, my sister walked through the door, he lives in the apartment below her and he asked her to swing by and grab his guitar. I asked her “why didn’t he just text me?” She replied “he blocked you on everything” I jumped to my phone and pulled up his account. Sure enough I was blocked. I asked her if she knew why? She said “because he’s in love with you.” (I don’t think that was the whole reason, just part) And she showed me the texts that he texted her, but I saw something else. He slept with my other best friend, Olivia, a week prior. I. was. pissed. I wasn’t pissed that they did it. I was pissed they went behind my back and lied that they were hanging out, I knew she didn’t like him that way, I was 1000% positive and still to this day don’t know why she did it if she didn’t like him. They went out camping together (something I’d been trying to arrange for two years for us) and had sex, and then she told him she doesn’t like him that way and they were only going to stay friends. He blocked her and then me. I didn’t let her know I knew for three weeks. I hung with her a couple of times and by the third she asked “how’s Mark?” I replied “I don’t know, he blocked me on everything” she said “oh me too, he’s just depressed and needs space, he’ll come around in a few days” I said “well, you know if you guys didn’t sleep together then this probably wouldn’t have happened” it became dead silent. Finally she scrambled and blurted out “we didn’t want to tell you, we thought you’d be mad” I looked straight at her and said “I’m mad that you lied about it, not that you did it. Neither one of you handled this well you know when liked you more and you still messed around with him.” From that moment I never saw her the same way. He tried re-adding me few months ago, I reblocked him. He’s over with. I’ve made my piece with that, but lately Olivia has been ignoring me, leaving me on read, when I ask her to hang out, to talk, to do literally anything, and it’s not because she busy. We model, I get it can get busy, but she’s stopped doing it for a bit, she quit her job, has no GED or Diploma, so she’s not in school, she’s literally doing nothing. Should I text her and tell her how I feel or just ignore her? I’ve already muted her on everything. I posted a FB where it said if you’re a bad friend I will distance myself from you, and randomly she’s starting to text me out of thin air. What should I do? It’s been a week or so, and honestly it just annoys me to see her face at this point..help?

  • My friends are very bad for me…The only way to surround yourself with great people is to be great yourself…Here is the problem…I’m by no means a great person so I just stay alone without any friends…

  • This is very helpful. But maybe sometime in the future can you make a video of how to help a friend get out of a toxic friendship. My friend is in one right now and I am trying to help her step by step because the toxic friend and very sensitive

  • i have two toxic friends. One i talk to way more and we are closer, and ill call her Sherry. The other one i barely talk to, we’ve known each other for a long time but for a few months we just texted way less often and ill call her Bella. so me and her fight a lot, like what ever i do she gets mad. for example, one time i said that i wanted to talk to this girl that was my old friend and we havent talked to each other for a long time. keep in mind this girl was bella, and the thing is she and sherry are like BFF’s. So yea i suggested i talk to her more often and we just become closer friends. You see sherry for some reason REALLY didnt want me to text her at all. She got very angry when i said that and of course it started a fight. She just wouldnt tell me why that made her so angry and she just said she didnt want me to be friends with her. I told her she shouldnt choose who i get to be friends with, she said i wa choosing her friends like wat. I ended up talking to bella anyway, and then after the fight i apologized (keep in mind she never did) and she made a joke so i thought we were all good. the next day i sent her a tiktok video and stuff and she just said “dont talk to me right now, shut tf up”. So asked why she said “cause you piss me off. it has nothing to do with bella you just piss me off” and of course you guessed that caused another fight. so basically this time i tried to confront her about how she always gets mad for anything i do and she acts like i start the fights and she thinks she never did anything wrong, but she just got really angry about it. she called me a rude and ungrateful narcissist. I told her that sometimes i feel like thats what she is. she says if i really think that then im not a good friend and i should just leave her. I reminded her that she is the one who said that about me first and then the fight continues.

    so this is just a side story thats important, about two fucking years ago two of my other friends told me that sherry was talking shit about me behind my back which this was NOT true, they just said that to cause drama. So like the dumb person i am i believed those two because i mean if two people heard it then it must be true. I told sherry that thats not okay and we are no longer friends. That started drama and when i realized it was a lie all i did was apologize. it took her three days to forgive me for something i did that was only like 10% my fault, but the thing is she didnt really forgive me which is why i brought this up… also i forgot to mention that bella was one of the friends who lied about what amiyah was saying about me too.

    Also another thing that happened back then, a group of friends that included bella bullied sherry and just neglected her, and sherry played along like it was a joke. I didnt really wanna get involved because it was mostly just annoying and i didnt care. Somehow i was the only one sherry was mad at because i didnt crae about what was happening. And the reason i didnt cause i also thought it was a joke and didnt see that they were actually hurting her. Im the only one she never forgave. Im the only one she stayed mad at for two years and im the only one she still calls out for these things and causes fights with me cause it. I still dont understand why.

    Sherry brings this up like all the time. and of course she kept bringing it up in the fights, too. She said that im a toxic friend for betraying her like that and when ever she brings that shit up i just tell her i apologized so man times i apologized months after it happened cause i still felt guilty and it just hurts that i know you’ll never forgive me. I tell her that if she just forgave me this relationship wouldnt be like this, and she says im just pushing her. it makes her mad. she said im just pushing her to forgive me and she says she really doesnt need to forgive me. not only that she says im pushing her about everything heck i admitted that i felt the relationship is toxic, and i wanted to solve the problem she said i was pushing her to solve the toxicity. She calms down a bit after a while so i wrote a really long paragraph lol about how we should do this, she just responds with “idk”. I told her she is not even trying and if she really doesnt care then these fights will keep happening as she wants them to. She yells in all caps that she is trying so hard and im the one putting no effort in this relationship. She says things like “UGHHH WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME THIS IS JUST TORTURE WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT” or “I JUST WANNA DIE I WANT YOU TO DIE” and stuff. then that fight magically stopped. I said a few more things and then she just stopped responding so i did too.

    So uh fast forward to the next day AGAIN lol sorry but we didnt have a fight that day, but she was still mad at me and she recited our entire fight on text and said she told bella every single text we sent (which i doubt thats true lmao she probably only told her what i said) and according to her bella said to just drop me and never talk to me again. Bella also said she was gonna block me in a few days too. i was wondering to myself “why are neither of them on my side? why cant they see what i do?” so i figured maybe if i just shut it and let them say those things to me then we wouldn’t have all these fights. So thats what i did, and it kinda worked because we didnt have another fight, so basically she would just say a bunch of shit about the fights we had and what i did two years ago. She tried to mock me by saying the things i said along with a reason that what i said was stupid, but of course i didn’t say anything. I just thought to myself about how i think i did the right thing, because her reasons of how what i said was stupid just reflected back on her. She brought up about how (ahem) IM the one who called her an ungrateful and rude narcissist, and i said she said that about me she still said that im the one who actually meant it and she wanted to kill me cause of it. She said a lot of threats like how she wanted me to die and she’ll kill me and my family, she’ll make me pay for doing that, blah blah blah. I dont know if she as joking or not which i damn hope she was, is she just angry or is she jus joking. So obviously she is still mad and she REALLY doesnt know how to forgive, and i cant just tell her she need to learn to forgive and forget because its a huge problem. She just never listens and takes all that out on me.

    Im quite the opposite. I have had many friends who betrayed me that included bella and this girls who ill call taliyah and another girl ill call jordyn, jordyn is the other of the two friends who told me amiyah was talking shit about me. They have done so many things to me like when we first befriended taliyah she spreaded rumors about me and one day she stopped and we became friends. About two weeks later we were best friends but one day she and bella started gossiping about me and one day i found out and called them out for it, they just started saying a bunch of shit about me and basically just bullied me until i shut up. And literaly like a few seconds later they apologuzed and i fogave them and we are friends again. That just continued and continued and it was a rather bad things. Both me and sherry never knew when it is right to forgive. But at the same time i knew if i never forgave them it would just cause more shit and lead up to more bullying. We were both bad at forgiveness because on her side she never forgave me for anything at all and was just fine with everyone else, and its been twow fucking years and she still wont. So i guess i just never really understood that. I’ve always trusted people too easily which caused me to be trapped in so many situations where i dont know who to trust.

    And that is the kinda situation i feel likw im in right now. I dont know if this toxic relationship is just because of me and i really am a narcissist, is it because of her and i really should just confront her in one big text and block her, is it bella just trying to manipulate us and make us hate each other more, or is it just all three of us hating and hating each other but staying friends? I really dont know, and sorry for this being so long, its not like anyone will ever see this but if you doo just please give me some adivce cause ive never been in this stressful of a situation lol im sorry.

    And “sherry” yea lol that was the only fake name i put there but if you are reading this for some reason idk lol then well you know how i feel about this situation now, yay. but at the same time just shut up.

    In summary i got beef with my own two best friends and im really gay.

  • I’m not sure if I have toxic friends.. I have 2 BFFs let’s call them BFF1 and BFF2. So let’s imagine we’re having a sleepover or something. And we’re playing a game

    Then BFF1 had to go to the bathroom so we wait for them. Suddenly I had to go somewhere too so I did. When I came back I saw them playing without me.. I didn’t know what to do. If I said “why did you guys started without me?” I’ll just seem like a bad friend that wants to be involved with everything. If I just go in and said “I’m back” will they even notice me? Cus usually whenever I do that, they never respond back except for BFF2. So I just stayed in the other room, listening to them.. Waiting for them to mention me.. But they never did.. When they go to the bedroom to sleep.. I also go to bed and hope that they won’t do the same thing the other day.

    They might seem like a bad friend but wait.. When they play games together, ofc I’ll feel left out. I talked to BFF1 about my feeling of left out and they said they were sorry and they seemed very caring and they care about me a lot and cares about my feelings. But I also added “but don’t let me ruin your fun with BFF2.” they replied with “I don’t wanna just have fun with BFF2, I want you to have fun too. Thats you’re in our group in the first place.” but it never stopped.. I still feel left out and they still start things without me.. I just hide and listen if they will ever mention me..

    I’m not sure if I’m the bad friend or them cus when we talk I’m also a boring person to talk to. I always just reply with “lol/ok/wow/oof” cus idk what to reply with. Whenever one of them are depressed I also just replied with that. So it kinda seemed like I didnt care. But I did, I just didn’t know how to reply.