How Emily Learned to beat Improper Habits and set Herself First

 

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Emily Abbate is hobbling the week after the Boston Marathon — her sixth full marathon. “I can hardly walk,” she laughs. How Emily Learned to Overcome Bad Habits and Put Herself First. Learn to forgive yourself and others, and never discriminate. Learn to be a good listener, and a good conversationalist.

Remain calm, humble, presentable, and relaxed in everything you do. Know your limitations and boundaries, and never impose pressure. A perfect woman is also a woman with great power that energizes the perfect woman within her. Breaking bad habits isn’t about stopping, but substituting.

The key to breaking bad habits is not white-knuckled willpower, but being aware of what holds the habit in place and mapping out. “The habits we groove become who we are, one minute at a time. A small thing, repeated, is not a small thing.” Being first in the office also allows Cullen to work through her own to-do list instead of being “responsive to other people’s claims on my time”, and this tactic is adopted by most leaders we spoke to. A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit.

When I was first learning to meditate the instruction was to simply pay attention to my breath, and when my mind wandered, to bring it back. Sounded simple enough, yet I’d sit on these silent retreats sweating through t-shirts in the middle of winter. I take naps every chance I got because it was really hard.

The key to overcoming bad habits is, first, to develop some insight into their origins. you may be surprised to learn about psychotherapy’s proven track record. Be specific in identifying the habit to be altered Write down the habit you’d like to change. Writing it down solidifies the idea when it’s fresh in your mind, and a written note is tangible and makes the whole process more real.

It’s hard to change. I know it. I battle against my bad habits all the time, just like you do everyday. But each day I also make an effort to overcome the bad habits, just as you should have a plan in place to overcome your bad weight loss habits. Don’t let insecurity, fear of failure, or the fear of the unknown hold you back from making.

Habits can be good (like exercise, healthy eating, and regular Bible-reading) or bad (think of unhealthy tendencies that make us feel stuck). Whether it’s the bad habit of turning to the cupboard for satisfaction, falling into a trance in front of the television, or a deeper, more shameful habit that we dare not mention in the circle at the. Here’s a simple way to start: just track how many times per day your bad habit happens. Put a piece of paper in your pocket and a pen.

Each time your bad habit happens, mark it down on your paper. At the end of the day, count up all of the tally marks and see what your total is.

List of related literature:

Over time, she became less self-critical not only about eating mistakes but also about mistakes in other parts of her life.

“The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good” by Judith S. Beck, Deborah Beck Busis
from The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good
by Judith S. Beck, Deborah Beck Busis
Hay House, 2015

She first created a handful of positive habits—journaling and reaching out to friends through social media—which helped her mourn her mother in a way that processed the grief instead of suppressing it.

“Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” by B. J. Fogg
from Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything
by B. J. Fogg
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2019

Emily was told that she would be taught to identify triggers for picking and develop strategies to reduce her urges to pick.

“Clinical Handbook of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders: A Case-Based Approach to Treating Pediatric and Adult Populations” by Eric A. Storch, Adam B. Lewin
from Clinical Handbook of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders: A Case-Based Approach to Treating Pediatric and Adult Populations
by Eric A. Storch, Adam B. Lewin
Springer International Publishing, 2015

Similarly, Hannah was able to abstain from binge eating as soon as she had learned to cope with emotional stress using alternative strategies.

“Emotion Regulation and Well-Being” by Ivan Nyklíček, Ad Vingerhoets, Marcel Zeelenberg
from Emotion Regulation and Well-Being
by Ivan Nyklíček, Ad Vingerhoets, Marcel Zeelenberg
Springer New York, 2010

She found the mindfulness skills extremely helpful in allowing her to observe and describe urges to binge, which gave her increasing control over her eating behaviors.

“The American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook of Personality Disorders” by John M. Oldham, Andrew E. Skodol, Donna S. Bender
from The American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook of Personality Disorders
by John M. Oldham, Andrew E. Skodol, Donna S. Bender
American Psychiatric Publishing, 2007

Over time she learned to use mindfulness, and especially yoga, to help her develop tolerance of her emotions and to learn to stay with them rather than immediately dismissing them.

“The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice” by Michiel van Vreeswijk, Jenny Broersen, Marjon Nadort
from The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice
by Michiel van Vreeswijk, Jenny Broersen, Marjon Nadort
Wiley, 2015

off some of the steam” so that Emily’s cognitive strengths could be capitalized on to begin the process of observing her own behavior and tracking the triggers.

“Inside Out and Outside In: Psychodynamic Clinical Theory and Psychopathology in Contemporary Multicultural Contexts” by Joan Berzoff, Laura Melano Flanagan, Patricia Hertz, Kathryn Basham, Nina Heller, Lourdes Mattei, Teresa Méndez, Terry Northcut, Gerald Schamess, Cynthia Shilkret, Robert Shilkret
from Inside Out and Outside In: Psychodynamic Clinical Theory and Psychopathology in Contemporary Multicultural Contexts
by Joan Berzoff, Laura Melano Flanagan, et. al.
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2011

Brenda’s therapist had taught her to use the DBT skill of radical acceptance of events in her life (see Chapter 9).

“Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for PTSD: A Case Formulation Approach” by Claudia Zayfert, Carolyn Black Becker
from Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for PTSD: A Case Formulation Approach
by Claudia Zayfert, Carolyn Black Becker
Guilford Publications, 2006

Kathryn’s daily mindfulness meditation practice made it possible for her to unravel this established behavior bundle.

“The Mindful Vegan: A 30-Day Plan for Finding Health, Balance, Peace, and Happiness” by Lani Muelrath, Neal Barnard
from The Mindful Vegan: A 30-Day Plan for Finding Health, Balance, Peace, and Happiness
by Lani Muelrath, Neal Barnard
BenBella Books, Incorporated, 2017

She has coped with this by avoiding making mistakes, so she never tries new things and her life is very narrow.

“Group Schema Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Step-by-Step Treatment Manual with Patient Workbook” by Joan M. Farrell, Ida A. Shaw
from Group Schema Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Step-by-Step Treatment Manual with Patient Workbook
by Joan M. Farrell, Ida A. Shaw
Wiley, 2012

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

[email protected]

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39 comments

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  • Ok but like, this channel is CRITICALLY underrated. For the editing and quality you’d think they’d have like 500,000 subs at LEAST

  • My addiction was/is self harm (I don’t think addictions ever really go away because you always have to deal with the urges, but I’ve been sober for a while). And this literally is it too. It reminds me of “Ride the Wave” (DBT skill), where you acknowledge and remain curious about your urge, but you don’t act on it. So yes, you can do it! I believe in you ����

  • my habit is smoking, i’ve quit in the past but i just can’t seem to escape it. even the constant health anxiety and knowledge of my declining health and constant reliance on smoking to escape any stress is just, aaa it’s killing me.

  • im 15 and i really think i need to talk to a therapist, im bisexual and i have a million different things that i suffer from and like a 1000 of those things i think suicide is the only option,i try to tell my family or loved ones to get all of that off of my chest but i always have an anxiety attack even when i try to tell my gf or my closest friend.smh

  • Your new film studio is great!  Simple, bright and clean.  Love your topics and guests and I think I’m addicted to your channel.  Do I need to break that addiction? I say no!

  • i have a habit of playing multiplayer games and using instagram excessively, the mind and body feels very relaxed and unlike cigarettes they don’t have a bad taste. the only thing bad associated with them is that they’re quite exhausting and time killing. Now i’ll try to stay mindful about that, Thankyou!

  • My parntes right a lot and last week They did t again I ran to my room calling my older sister crying so much that I got a fever and she SIAD to be clam but I couldn’t breath cuz of how freaked out I was my brother tired to stop them after they did Now my mom won’t talk to me cuz I talked t my dad before I talked to her so he took care f me for the rest of the weeek till today moring when he left to work he would have slept with me in the living room when I got scared and now He’s not home till Friday my birthday……I’ve been crying ever since he left I could use one please to help with aniexty and maybe couples therapy…..? I’ve also thought of killing my self but I haven’t hurt or abused yet….. all I do is cry a lot I don’t even wanna eat anymore this s my story Jackie wood

  • Cool, I gave up smoking (after about 50 attempts) by realising that I was craving comfort each time I had the urge to smoke, the actual cigarettes were nasty. So each time I had the urge, I thought ‘why do I need comfort right now?’ and it took away the urge.

  • I used to need a cup of milk tea atleast once a day. But then I saw if i missed that i would suffer from terrible headache. So I wanted to change it and totally cut of milk tea from my diet and replaced that with green tea. But now I became addicted to green tea as well. How can I fix this?

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  • I think I need a therapist and I’m trying to find out how to tell my parents I know I have to tell them bc for the past years I have just been wondering why they won’t just take me and it’s finally hitting me that they aren’t mind readers and that I have to do something and I honestly have every one of these parents siblings check on your kids quarantine is literally killing me

  • I swear. This video started a chain reaction in my brain making me see all my bad habits and now I want to apply cognitive control and rid them for good.

  • I watched it because I have bad habits. Not sure if it will work, but I will give it a try, cheaper then going to a doc. Thank you for the video

  • Go back I don’t even remember even going to a therapist My mom has three kids with mental issues including me never once have I been to therapy the other two have but I haven’t

  • Oh, I accidentally started doing this!
    In december I wanted to drink with family and friends with events (Christmas and such), but not too much. I decided to stop drinking during the week, and stop eating junk food (aka chips and choclates) at the same time. First step was to stop buying it. With the sweets I promised myself I first had to finish whatever I had in the house, before I bough new things. For the beer, I also bought soda instead of alcohol, because I knew I wanted to drink something during dinner.
    The interesting thing was that I missed it for one day, and then didn’t missed it at all.
    Slowly I also stopped drinking soda, I now trained myself to associate tea with comfort, so whenever I want to drink or eat something to comfort myself, I make a cup of tea.
    Another thing was that I started doing this before new year. It’s still a resolution, mostly to keep doing this. I think one of the problems is that people associate it with one time of the year, “now I have to”, instead of routinely changing their habits. Also goal oriented doesn’t always help, because a lot of people stop when they reached their goal.

    I also want to start exercising, which is harder, because I have nothing to substitute it for. I have to start, if I want to or not.

  • There are many components to stopping smoking including eg motivation and support from peers.

    One plan I discovered that succeeds in merging these is the Quit Smoking Crusher (see the website QuitSmokingCrusher.com) definately the most useful plan i’ve seen.

    look at the site and awesome testimonials.

  • I hit “Watch Later” on this video like a month ago, now watching it, and realizing I’m even procrastinating watchin vids about procrastination��‍♂️��‍♂️

  • Clicked on this because I’m overweight and need to change my bad eating habits. Burger King ad comes on before he even starts talking…fml

  • The Bible has taught this for years. It says in Galatians 6:8… a man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.I’m glad I get to see this point from a scientific perspective. Thank you for this video.

  • As a doctor I would like to say thank you for giving me an insight into what people who are intersex go through.. And that I admire your courage for standing in front of the world and expressing your true nature.

  • So how can i do this with frontal damage. Actually i recently just figered out i have damage. I need to see a doctor that knows whats up buy im poor so on my own. It happened when i was around 7 yrs old i triped and smashed my head on a river rock and got a severe concussions n huge knot on my forehead and never went to docs wish i would have. Ive never felt the same. I felt myself change quickly after iy happened…

  • Imma be brutally honest, my way I’d get over me biting my nails for example, is a just stopped? I almost but my nails, to which I though “hey do something else lol” and I’d watch YouTube to distract me.

    So, in conclusion.

    Distract urself from this issue. Doing it without noticing? It’s OK. Calm down. Take a brwtber and keep going. It’s OK to not be perfect. Just keep trying. You’ll get there eventually.

  • the fact that there are so many forms of intersex people there are just goes to show how delicate of a recipe hormones, genes, and all that stuff really is…

  • That’s cool don’t try to overcome your bad habit just be mindful and curious about what’s happening in body and mind right when we repeat the bad habit is wonderful ❣️
    FEELING BEAUTIFUL❣️

  • They call this Drifting in some Spiritual Books.
    And in these books the only ones that DRIFT,
    are the ones that havent made a decision on what they want.
    Its easy to drift from a path that doesnt exist.

  • This is Vipassana Meditation. Dhamma.org to see centres near you for doing the 10 day free course.

    P.S: the course is tough yet immensely rewarding

  • Quite a useless talk…the only example we get is about smoking…why didn’t he do the same with chocolate? It would go something like this: “bite the chocolate, be mindful, pay attention, chocolate is yummy, no reason to quit”…

  • My habit is to eat something sweet I now have a fruit instead but than again fruit may be bad sugar too
    If your reading this please share your bad haibit or if not a bad habit your gooid habit
    Thank you for sharing

  • I’m very pleased with myself that I actually chose this video (among others) 5 DAYS AGO and planned that I would watch this today this Saturday. I’m creating a new habit succesfully. The reason I’m sharing this are these: 1) I think seeing positive examples/role models/model actions help others. 2) To remind myself I’m not only capable of discipline and self-conduct, I in fact am right now proving myself I am a disciplined person who keeps her own promises to her self 3) That particular method of choosing as many of the videos I can beforehand using Session Buddy has been very useful for me, and I wanted to give this tip for anyone who wants to solve the problem of Youtube, which is that even though it is useful, it is also time consuming and time is the only thing we truly possess (well, some say love never dies, so that too).

  • How to break a bad habit so you dont have to watch the whole video
    1. Feel the urge: to watch youtube, smoke, whatever it is.
    2. Think about what you are going to do.
    3. Break the cycle and realise how good it feels to say ‘NO’
    4. Just skip to 8:35 in the video

  • So I made it to 28 seconds of the video and noticed a single frame change. Something yellow. Is this subliminal messaging that you’re incorporating into the video?

    Not sure if I should watch it further

  • This just demonizes the profession of medicine. It also trivializes the form of shame and bullying “healthy” people face. Maybe if she wasn’t as narrow minded as the people she’s pointing her fingers too, she’d recognise the bigger problem. But nah, she just boiled everything down to intersex vs cisgender. There’s a lot more nuance than just that.

  • Transgenders sometimes further reinforce the views on two separate definite “gender identities” it’s ok to be your own gender, others’ assumptions are their own. You don’t need to fit to an “opposite gender”, just because tou feel some inadequacy with the gender you were born with. That’s just you, nothing else. Don’t ever conform to others’ prejudices. That just makes you prejudiced yourself.

  • It’s a lot easier for me to start good behaviors in a new environment, f.e. starting sports on vacation, or starting good habits around the household after I moved into a new house.

  • I knew it! There is some reinforced cookie neural connection in my head. Thanks for the video it was cool! Hope you have a great 2020!

  • Greatness is achieved in this present moment, Not in the distant future. If you don’t see your great now then you’ll never will. Thank you for living your truths Lewis! I am grateful for the wonderful service you provide our beautiful universe. ����☝️����☝️��

  • I understand what you are saying, but it has to be understood that our knowledge of people like yourself is about 0% compared to those who are not like yourself. It is hard, and changes need to made. It will take some time. Understand that we are trying to learn and understand.