How Emily Learned to beat Improper Habits and set Herself First


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The SIMPLE WAY To Break BAD HABITS Today! | Dr. Jud Brewer & Lewis Howes

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The 3 Science-Backed Steps to Break Your Bad Habits for Good

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Neuroscientist explains why bad habits are hard to break

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A simple way to break a bad habit | Judson Brewer

Video taken from the channel: TED

Emily Abbate is hobbling the week after the Boston Marathon — her sixth full marathon. “I can hardly walk,” she laughs. How Emily Learned to Overcome Bad Habits and Put Herself First. Learn to forgive yourself and others, and never discriminate. Learn to be a good listener, and a good conversationalist.

Remain calm, humble, presentable, and relaxed in everything you do. Know your limitations and boundaries, and never impose pressure. A perfect woman is also a woman with great power that energizes the perfect woman within her. Breaking bad habits isn’t about stopping, but substituting.

The key to breaking bad habits is not white-knuckled willpower, but being aware of what holds the habit in place and mapping out. “The habits we groove become who we are, one minute at a time. A small thing, repeated, is not a small thing.” Being first in the office also allows Cullen to work through her own to-do list instead of being “responsive to other people’s claims on my time”, and this tactic is adopted by most leaders we spoke to. A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit.

When I was first learning to meditate the instruction was to simply pay attention to my breath, and when my mind wandered, to bring it back. Sounded simple enough, yet I’d sit on these silent retreats sweating through t-shirts in the middle of winter. I take naps every chance I got because it was really hard.

The key to overcoming bad habits is, first, to develop some insight into their origins. you may be surprised to learn about psychotherapy’s proven track record. Be specific in identifying the habit to be altered Write down the habit you’d like to change. Writing it down solidifies the idea when it’s fresh in your mind, and a written note is tangible and makes the whole process more real.

It’s hard to change. I know it. I battle against my bad habits all the time, just like you do everyday. But each day I also make an effort to overcome the bad habits, just as you should have a plan in place to overcome your bad weight loss habits. Don’t let insecurity, fear of failure, or the fear of the unknown hold you back from making.

Habits can be good (like exercise, healthy eating, and regular Bible-reading) or bad (think of unhealthy tendencies that make us feel stuck). Whether it’s the bad habit of turning to the cupboard for satisfaction, falling into a trance in front of the television, or a deeper, more shameful habit that we dare not mention in the circle at the. Here’s a simple way to start: just track how many times per day your bad habit happens. Put a piece of paper in your pocket and a pen.

Each time your bad habit happens, mark it down on your paper. At the end of the day, count up all of the tally marks and see what your total is.

List of related literature:

Over time, she became less self-critical not only about eating mistakes but also about mistakes in other parts of her life.

“The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good” by Judith S. Beck, Deborah Beck Busis
from The Diet Trap Solution: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good
by Judith S. Beck, Deborah Beck Busis
Hay House, 2015

She first created a handful of positive habits—journaling and reaching out to friends through social media—which helped her mourn her mother in a way that processed the grief instead of suppressing it.

“Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” by B. J. Fogg
from Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything
by B. J. Fogg
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2019

Emily was told that she would be taught to identify triggers for picking and develop strategies to reduce her urges to pick.

“Clinical Handbook of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders: A Case-Based Approach to Treating Pediatric and Adult Populations” by Eric A. Storch, Adam B. Lewin
from Clinical Handbook of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders: A Case-Based Approach to Treating Pediatric and Adult Populations
by Eric A. Storch, Adam B. Lewin
Springer International Publishing, 2015

Similarly, Hannah was able to abstain from binge eating as soon as she had learned to cope with emotional stress using alternative strategies.

“Emotion Regulation and Well-Being” by Ivan Nyklíček, Ad Vingerhoets, Marcel Zeelenberg
from Emotion Regulation and Well-Being
by Ivan Nyklíček, Ad Vingerhoets, Marcel Zeelenberg
Springer New York, 2010

She found the mindfulness skills extremely helpful in allowing her to observe and describe urges to binge, which gave her increasing control over her eating behaviors.

“The American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook of Personality Disorders” by John M. Oldham, Andrew E. Skodol, Donna S. Bender
from The American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook of Personality Disorders
by John M. Oldham, Andrew E. Skodol, Donna S. Bender
American Psychiatric Publishing, 2007

Over time she learned to use mindfulness, and especially yoga, to help her develop tolerance of her emotions and to learn to stay with them rather than immediately dismissing them.

“The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice” by Michiel van Vreeswijk, Jenny Broersen, Marjon Nadort
from The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice
by Michiel van Vreeswijk, Jenny Broersen, Marjon Nadort
Wiley, 2015

off some of the steam” so that Emily’s cognitive strengths could be capitalized on to begin the process of observing her own behavior and tracking the triggers.

“Inside Out and Outside In: Psychodynamic Clinical Theory and Psychopathology in Contemporary Multicultural Contexts” by Joan Berzoff, Laura Melano Flanagan, Patricia Hertz, Kathryn Basham, Nina Heller, Lourdes Mattei, Teresa Méndez, Terry Northcut, Gerald Schamess, Cynthia Shilkret, Robert Shilkret
from Inside Out and Outside In: Psychodynamic Clinical Theory and Psychopathology in Contemporary Multicultural Contexts
by Joan Berzoff, Laura Melano Flanagan, et. al.
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2011

Brenda’s therapist had taught her to use the DBT skill of radical acceptance of events in her life (see Chapter 9).

“Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for PTSD: A Case Formulation Approach” by Claudia Zayfert, Carolyn Black Becker
from Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for PTSD: A Case Formulation Approach
by Claudia Zayfert, Carolyn Black Becker
Guilford Publications, 2006

Kathryn’s daily mindfulness meditation practice made it possible for her to unravel this established behavior bundle.

“The Mindful Vegan: A 30-Day Plan for Finding Health, Balance, Peace, and Happiness” by Lani Muelrath, Neal Barnard
from The Mindful Vegan: A 30-Day Plan for Finding Health, Balance, Peace, and Happiness
by Lani Muelrath, Neal Barnard
BenBella Books, Incorporated, 2017

She has coped with this by avoiding making mistakes, so she never tries new things and her life is very narrow.

“Group Schema Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Step-by-Step Treatment Manual with Patient Workbook” by Joan M. Farrell, Ida A. Shaw
from Group Schema Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Step-by-Step Treatment Manual with Patient Workbook
by Joan M. Farrell, Ida A. Shaw
Wiley, 2012

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

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  • Ok but like, this channel is CRITICALLY underrated. For the editing and quality you’d think they’d have like 500,000 subs at LEAST

  • My addiction was/is self harm (I don’t think addictions ever really go away because you always have to deal with the urges, but I’ve been sober for a while). And this literally is it too. It reminds me of “Ride the Wave” (DBT skill), where you acknowledge and remain curious about your urge, but you don’t act on it. So yes, you can do it! I believe in you ����

  • my habit is smoking, i’ve quit in the past but i just can’t seem to escape it. even the constant health anxiety and knowledge of my declining health and constant reliance on smoking to escape any stress is just, aaa it’s killing me.

  • im 15 and i really think i need to talk to a therapist, im bisexual and i have a million different things that i suffer from and like a 1000 of those things i think suicide is the only option,i try to tell my family or loved ones to get all of that off of my chest but i always have an anxiety attack even when i try to tell my gf or my closest friend.smh

  • Your new film studio is great!  Simple, bright and clean.  Love your topics and guests and I think I’m addicted to your channel.  Do I need to break that addiction? I say no!

  • i have a habit of playing multiplayer games and using instagram excessively, the mind and body feels very relaxed and unlike cigarettes they don’t have a bad taste. the only thing bad associated with them is that they’re quite exhausting and time killing. Now i’ll try to stay mindful about that, Thankyou!

  • My parntes right a lot and last week They did t again I ran to my room calling my older sister crying so much that I got a fever and she SIAD to be clam but I couldn’t breath cuz of how freaked out I was my brother tired to stop them after they did Now my mom won’t talk to me cuz I talked t my dad before I talked to her so he took care f me for the rest of the weeek till today moring when he left to work he would have slept with me in the living room when I got scared and now He’s not home till Friday my birthday……I’ve been crying ever since he left I could use one please to help with aniexty and maybe couples therapy…..? I’ve also thought of killing my self but I haven’t hurt or abused yet….. all I do is cry a lot I don’t even wanna eat anymore this s my story Jackie wood

  • Cool, I gave up smoking (after about 50 attempts) by realising that I was craving comfort each time I had the urge to smoke, the actual cigarettes were nasty. So each time I had the urge, I thought ‘why do I need comfort right now?’ and it took away the urge.

  • I used to need a cup of milk tea atleast once a day. But then I saw if i missed that i would suffer from terrible headache. So I wanted to change it and totally cut of milk tea from my diet and replaced that with green tea. But now I became addicted to green tea as well. How can I fix this?


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  • I think I need a therapist and I’m trying to find out how to tell my parents I know I have to tell them bc for the past years I have just been wondering why they won’t just take me and it’s finally hitting me that they aren’t mind readers and that I have to do something and I honestly have every one of these parents siblings check on your kids quarantine is literally killing me

  • I swear. This video started a chain reaction in my brain making me see all my bad habits and now I want to apply cognitive control and rid them for good.

  • I watched it because I have bad habits. Not sure if it will work, but I will give it a try, cheaper then going to a doc. Thank you for the video

  • Go back I don’t even remember even going to a therapist My mom has three kids with mental issues including me never once have I been to therapy the other two have but I haven’t

  • Oh, I accidentally started doing this!
    In december I wanted to drink with family and friends with events (Christmas and such), but not too much. I decided to stop drinking during the week, and stop eating junk food (aka chips and choclates) at the same time. First step was to stop buying it. With the sweets I promised myself I first had to finish whatever I had in the house, before I bough new things. For the beer, I also bought soda instead of alcohol, because I knew I wanted to drink something during dinner.
    The interesting thing was that I missed it for one day, and then didn’t missed it at all.
    Slowly I also stopped drinking soda, I now trained myself to associate tea with comfort, so whenever I want to drink or eat something to comfort myself, I make a cup of tea.
    Another thing was that I started doing this before new year. It’s still a resolution, mostly to keep doing this. I think one of the problems is that people associate it with one time of the year, “now I have to”, instead of routinely changing their habits. Also goal oriented doesn’t always help, because a lot of people stop when they reached their goal.

    I also want to start exercising, which is harder, because I have nothing to substitute it for. I have to start, if I want to or not.

  • There are many components to stopping smoking including eg motivation and support from peers.

    One plan I discovered that succeeds in merging these is the Quit Smoking Crusher (see the website definately the most useful plan i’ve seen.

    look at the site and awesome testimonials.

  • I hit “Watch Later” on this video like a month ago, now watching it, and realizing I’m even procrastinating watchin vids about procrastination��‍♂️��‍♂️

  • Clicked on this because I’m overweight and need to change my bad eating habits. Burger King ad comes on before he even starts talking…fml

  • The Bible has taught this for years. It says in Galatians 6:8… a man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.I’m glad I get to see this point from a scientific perspective. Thank you for this video.

  • As a doctor I would like to say thank you for giving me an insight into what people who are intersex go through.. And that I admire your courage for standing in front of the world and expressing your true nature.

  • So how can i do this with frontal damage. Actually i recently just figered out i have damage. I need to see a doctor that knows whats up buy im poor so on my own. It happened when i was around 7 yrs old i triped and smashed my head on a river rock and got a severe concussions n huge knot on my forehead and never went to docs wish i would have. Ive never felt the same. I felt myself change quickly after iy happened…

  • Imma be brutally honest, my way I’d get over me biting my nails for example, is a just stopped? I almost but my nails, to which I though “hey do something else lol” and I’d watch YouTube to distract me.

    So, in conclusion.

    Distract urself from this issue. Doing it without noticing? It’s OK. Calm down. Take a brwtber and keep going. It’s OK to not be perfect. Just keep trying. You’ll get there eventually.

  • the fact that there are so many forms of intersex people there are just goes to show how delicate of a recipe hormones, genes, and all that stuff really is…

  • That’s cool don’t try to overcome your bad habit just be mindful and curious about what’s happening in body and mind right when we repeat the bad habit is wonderful ❣️

  • They call this Drifting in some Spiritual Books.
    And in these books the only ones that DRIFT,
    are the ones that havent made a decision on what they want.
    Its easy to drift from a path that doesnt exist.

  • This is Vipassana Meditation. to see centres near you for doing the 10 day free course.

    P.S: the course is tough yet immensely rewarding

  • Quite a useless talk…the only example we get is about smoking…why didn’t he do the same with chocolate? It would go something like this: “bite the chocolate, be mindful, pay attention, chocolate is yummy, no reason to quit”…

  • My habit is to eat something sweet I now have a fruit instead but than again fruit may be bad sugar too
    If your reading this please share your bad haibit or if not a bad habit your gooid habit
    Thank you for sharing

  • I’m very pleased with myself that I actually chose this video (among others) 5 DAYS AGO and planned that I would watch this today this Saturday. I’m creating a new habit succesfully. The reason I’m sharing this are these: 1) I think seeing positive examples/role models/model actions help others. 2) To remind myself I’m not only capable of discipline and self-conduct, I in fact am right now proving myself I am a disciplined person who keeps her own promises to her self 3) That particular method of choosing as many of the videos I can beforehand using Session Buddy has been very useful for me, and I wanted to give this tip for anyone who wants to solve the problem of Youtube, which is that even though it is useful, it is also time consuming and time is the only thing we truly possess (well, some say love never dies, so that too).

  • How to break a bad habit so you dont have to watch the whole video
    1. Feel the urge: to watch youtube, smoke, whatever it is.
    2. Think about what you are going to do.
    3. Break the cycle and realise how good it feels to say ‘NO’
    4. Just skip to 8:35 in the video

  • So I made it to 28 seconds of the video and noticed a single frame change. Something yellow. Is this subliminal messaging that you’re incorporating into the video?

    Not sure if I should watch it further

  • This just demonizes the profession of medicine. It also trivializes the form of shame and bullying “healthy” people face. Maybe if she wasn’t as narrow minded as the people she’s pointing her fingers too, she’d recognise the bigger problem. But nah, she just boiled everything down to intersex vs cisgender. There’s a lot more nuance than just that.

  • Transgenders sometimes further reinforce the views on two separate definite “gender identities” it’s ok to be your own gender, others’ assumptions are their own. You don’t need to fit to an “opposite gender”, just because tou feel some inadequacy with the gender you were born with. That’s just you, nothing else. Don’t ever conform to others’ prejudices. That just makes you prejudiced yourself.

  • It’s a lot easier for me to start good behaviors in a new environment, f.e. starting sports on vacation, or starting good habits around the household after I moved into a new house.

  • I knew it! There is some reinforced cookie neural connection in my head. Thanks for the video it was cool! Hope you have a great 2020!

  • Greatness is achieved in this present moment, Not in the distant future. If you don’t see your great now then you’ll never will. Thank you for living your truths Lewis! I am grateful for the wonderful service you provide our beautiful universe. ����☝️����☝️��

  • I understand what you are saying, but it has to be understood that our knowledge of people like yourself is about 0% compared to those who are not like yourself. It is hard, and changes need to made. It will take some time. Understand that we are trying to learn and understand.

  • This was great! I have to stop the habit of Sudoku. It’s destroying my life, stopping me from getting on with my daily responsibilities and my studies. It’s just a stupid game of 9 numbers. It’s not a language nor biochemistry, nor maths. I’m doing exactly what the smoker did: become really curious about it and see the negative part. The disenchantment part is so true!!!

  • I am a recovering drug addict, and I have now been binge eating (which is kinda scary cause I also used to be bullimic) very late at night because that’s when I would get high. I’m gonna try to use this stuff, thank you as always guys��

  • I self isolate and since I was 14 I had a habit of pinching my throat. I am trying to use these techniques and I believe It worked. In fact I applied it right now when I was feeling low and was thinking of ordering something rather than cooking but I knew I needed to eat something soda free and I almost half cooked my meal while watching this Video and I believe it works

  • I’ve been suggested but

    I don’t have the guts to ask my parents cause I’m sure they’re gonna say I don’t need it because I’m “fine”

  • I’m not being funny but why not just get them removed and then get on with your life, there’s no need to shape your life around it people get things removed all the time. Don’t get it.

  • This is why McDonald’s give away toys with the children’s meal. They are priming children to associate pleasure with their food and trap them subconsciously. Wonder why we have an obesity epidemic!!

  • Have recently become addicted to Jud Brewer videos and podcasts so I’ve seen many! But enjoyed this one the most because of you Lewis. Your practical and to the point questions made Jud’s information even more meaningful. Thank you, truly delightful listening.

  • Being addicted implies psychological dependency, like drugs. Something you need rehabilitation for.
    You can’t use the “addicted” word for behavioural conditions. That word contradicts recovery. We can break bad habits. They just die hard and therefore need a long time sometimes. I promise though, once they’re gone, they’re gone. Other than a mere memory in your life book, it won’t be part of your life unless you let your guard down. One thing I know from experience, “don’t celebrate too early”. That’s when you fall hard and the cycle is born. A very nasty place indeed. I, myself, have been in that recurring nightmare and hated life altogether.

  • super great talk!
    It’s so important to be aware of the things you do.
    And changing habits is uper important for the brain.
    I think good friends can also help a lot, if they are honest and tell you if they realize bad behaviours:)

  • Thanks for this interview Lewis. i haven’t listened to any of your interviews for a while now Been working on a project. The quality of your interviews is still as high as ever. Thanks bro. One day i will be the interviewed.I promise it will be a good one.

  • I have a similar problem with thinking. I will sit for hours thinking of ideas but never doing any of them because I always want to think about it a bit more.

  • So much value here!!! Thank you Lewis and dr Jud just the microphone is pretty low is hard for me to hear all of it properly –

  • Dr. Jud is a very beautiful soul. His degree of depth and aptitude is something that you don’t find in many people. Thank you for featuring his scientific perspective on addictions. Outstanding interview!

  • Epic video but how do you turn down your own birthday cake?!!�� ��
    For those who need help building healthy new habits, but don’t know where to start? Be kind to yourself and start out with the,
    One Minute Rule ��

    The One Minute Rule-

    What if you spent just ONE minute every day doing something that you seem to never have time for? All I hear at work is “I don’t have time to workout, I don’t have time to make dinner, I don’t have time for vacation, I don’t time for this or that.” Maybe you need to start new healthy habits, but have a hard time starting?

    There are 1,440 minutes in one day. I don’t care who you are, we all have one minute to do anything. Anyone can do anything in one minute. If you spend one minute every day you will be astonished with what new healthy habits you create. You will be excited about your days again. You will be looking forward to your one minute rule every day. Eventually the one minute will turn into one hour, one week, one month, but for now let’s just start with the One Minute Rule!

    It’s so simple! Here’s how it goes:

    1)What’s your one thing that you never have time for or you DON’T want to make time for? Do you want to start a new healthy habit?? For me that’s simple: Studying

    2)Set your phone alarm to one minute.

    3)Study for one minute

    4)You did it!

    After a week or so of doing this you might find yourself spending more time on these tough tasks:)

    Can’t think of anything to do in a minute?
    Here’s some suggestions:

    In one minute you can:

    Close your eyes and breath
    Push ups/plank/squat
    Rub your loved ones feet
    Hold hands
    Pet your doggies!
    Write down your goals/dreams
    Call your mom or dad and tell them you love them:)
    Drink H20
    Say hi to random people
    Set a doctors appointment
    Take the trash out
    Clean your car
    Sauté vegetables
    Start your website
    Read a book

    Now it’s time to start the One Minute Rule now! One Minute To Win It!

    (Let me know what you pick!)

    Then pass it on to 3 people!

  • My mind, u need a dictionary to exactly know what he is saying, write down words and meaning it can help in future, try to pronounce it helps you to understand subtitles, oh am listening to something I guess I missed a lot should I play it again? Uff

  • Thanks so much for the awesome video Lewis �� This will definitely help me improve my Mindset, Business, and Life!! Keep it up! ������

  • I’ve just missed a phone call from my therapist because I was to scared to answer the phone and felt like I didn’t deserve it enough. I don’t know what to do ��

  • Wasn’t born intersexed but I think the doctors and I mean even I would want to be a certain gender. Perhaps they feel hey this is still a part of me and you dont want to lose a part of yourself. But dating will always be difficult or nearly impossible. I can be friends with a woman with balls but I’m not going to bed with her.

  • thot and golden vagina addiction, ruining men one simpanzee at a time. you have to go through it yourself to get the message. the 12-step method works well if one is willing to do a little introspection

  • My moms making me go to therapy… I think I have problems. I have fun sure. But I can’t control my emotions. I don’t talk to people. I’m always mad or arguing. Sometimes crying over 1 little thing.

  • Shame to the medical professionals who made her feel uncomfortable and violated!!! THE MEDICAL FIELD NEEDS MORE EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING!!!

  • Even though the content was good, I think the tone, pace, maybe body language to some extent and usage of some complex words made it a little boring to watch till the end.

  • I am 77 years old, and have yet to meet another intersex person. I don’t know if anybody knew that i was intersex, because anybody who could tell me was gone already. I found out about myself a bout 10 years ago. All the years before, when asked as a kid, why i was the way I was, the answer was that some people are just different. I was forced to live a life as a male person, a guy with a female looking body! About 10 years ago, I changed into my real gender, I am a happy woman now.
    I am like you, I never had acne or body hair, or oily skin, and I am happy about this, because I still do not have to shave.
    I hope that your work will help that kids are allowed to grow up free from any societal pressure. I missed out on a life as a female, because some doctor though my genitals look male. I hope no other kid has to experience this!
    Good luck for you!

  • Yikes. Listen I feel for you but why have a Ted Talk about it? Listen I had a cyst on my skull and I had it removed, done. Obviously, that is the same way you feel about your ‘extra parts’. You present and feel like a woman (as far as I can tell from your clip). No need to try to make yourself into a martyr by going on NPR and blabbing about “balls, balls, balls” because one dude broke up with you when he found out. You are trying to shock everyone and make a cash grab. Maybe you should have more consideration for people who actually have the wrong genitalia for the person they actually are.

  • Great speech and wise to not make any decisions at a young age because she is fine the way she is. People pushing puberty blockers should watch this!

  • I eat my emotions big time. I also am a horrible procrastinator. How about trying to establish a habit that will help you or that you want to create?

  • Thank you for your continued bravery and effort in presenting your story. Education is the only way increase awareness that people can be different and that there are A LOT of people that are different. That being different, not average, doesn’t mean broken, doesn’t mean that something needs to be “fixed” to bring someone back to the average. ��

  • I prefer to masturbate when I’m bored… back hand.. like I’m thrown dice at a casino on a Tuesday night down 5k and out of cigarettes.

  • I’ve found out the hard way, nearly fatal, that there’s a lot of fraud and incompetence in modern medicine. And pushing of unneeded pills and procedures.

  • I stopped as soon as I heard her trying to convince me that having balls at birth as a female wasn’t a disorder. You can call yourself whatever but when you want to normalize birth defects like that then you’re crazy.

  • I mean to be fair, maybe it required all of that “unnecessary” procedure to actually figure it out. You think that medical knowledge is just beamed into our heads? How great was it that you could go to a doctor? If you had gone to a doctor 100 years ago about this, who knows what they would’ve done with you?

    We’re not perfect. We have to figure this stuff out.

  • You are a beautiful girl, I appreciate you. I as well experienced adversity as a child pertaining to differences. To hear your story is very helpful

  • Damn, I want there to be a woman born with testicles so she can see what it is like to be driven by a chemical to breed, and then after it is relieved, the need to be free of the baggage clinging on. Testosterone is like being schizophrenic-like being two people, before and after. And no one wants to be neutered!-what kind of solution is that? You can’t win.

  • Thank you so very much for giving this talk. I have always believed that gender is a sort of continuum from one gender to the other. Each of us exists somewhere along that line. So in my little bit of reality we are all intersexed as I do not believe there exists a 100% male or female. Some are closer to one end or the other, but there is a lot going on in the middle of that line.

  • Thank you Lewis������
    I think the world of you and pray my daughter when she grows into her adult years, finds a lifelong Love, just like you.
    What am amazing Man you are��
    Happy New Year��

  • Please believe in Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour❤️❤️❤️ and you can be saved Jesus died for our sins on the cross ✝️ got buried and rose and he will Judge the world �� repent toward God

  • Honestly i never would shame anyone for being weird because even tho im an atheist i believe there is purpose to every thing even people born with disabilities they were born to fulfil some role in the world. other people just fail to understand that, they think there is something wrong with the unnormal so it must be eradicated how foolish we humans are

  • You’re such a sweet lady, person I’m so sorry you had to go through what you went through. hold your head up high be proud of Who You Are! God made you the way you are for a reason, and who am I or anybody else to know God’s reason for doing anything. But the obvious pain emotionally and physically should not be put on anybody. I will tell you what I tell everybody I mentor or teach, including my own children and grandchildren you are who you are be proud of it you are no better or no worse than anybody else and if they can’t see that then you don’t need them in your life you have everything you need to succeed within you. So take a deep breath relax and enjoy life it is a gift! One of my main joys in life is the vast differences the variety, this would be a pretty depressing world if we were all the same. Stay safe, be well and God bless.

  • This is exactly what I did to quit my bad habits such as smoking and eating terrible food, I now have a lot of videos on my channel about this same topic surrounding fitness and healthy choices understanding my brain was the key to my fitness journey success:)

  • Long story short, kids are mean and insensitive and tactless, people have a hard time being intimate with someone with physical abnormalities and doctors arent magical angels detached from typical human oddness. She seems cool, though.

  • Wow! Fascinating, awe inspiring, wonderful and beautiful! Your story is beautiful! You are a beautiful person! Thank you for helping me to understand something I didn’t before.

  • For those who are intersex, I want to make sure that you know that support can be found among LGBTQIA groups and centers. The “I” stands for intersex. I am sure that meeting other intersex people at gatherings that are exclusively for you is ideal, but might be rare and hard to arrange.

  • Nice story, but lost me when she started acting like a victim of doctors just doing their job with limited information. Moral of the story, people can’t keep secrets, most guys want a healthy normal woman, it’s not just a social thing, but a biological imperative, one doctor isn’t enough, don’t jump into invasive procedures till you’ve expended other options, if you’re alone, find people like you, and don’t expect acceptance from anyone but yourself. There you go, just a lot of common sense wrapped up in an unusual story.

  • People don’t deserve to be disclosed to. Just take care of yourself. She is courageous and generous for the sake of others like her.

  • Don’t be so sure those doctors were automatically perverts… they were trying to do their best when facing a problem they never met. Not everyone wants to be an expert… some are just employees

  • Hi this is doctor Abhijit sayamber md physician ex consultant Dhirubhai ambani hospital mumbai professor of MBBS and MD students stay safe and take care of yourself

  • Developing daily healthy, productive & hubitual HABITS about The greatest version of Ourr Higher Selves, automatically Empowers a greater AWARENESS of sense of Self….. This sets Our Ego mind Free, Free to more Self discoveries of tapping into “CREATION”, tapping into Our Unlimited Godley Human POTENTIALITIES that We didn’t know were there. We must learn to FREE OUR EGOIC MIND from mental noise & outside distractions.

  • When I mindfully eat all the cupcakes, or an entire bag of bite sized Snickers, all I become curiously aware of is bliss. The shame comes afterwards, but by then it’s too late.

  • I am not sure where this obsession to do surgery comes from. seems quite a crude and permanent solution for an issue that they do not understand properly. I not sure why doctors seem so sure this is the solution and I do not even agree with trans people using surgery to address their issue. I guess I always oppose or cautious to do something that seems irreversible

  • I feel like I never got the chance to have a childhood I always worried about the future and my body.I feel like I’m in a cycle of this feeling.

  • @Kati Morton, but what do we do if we’re too young to go ourselves, but we already know our parents won’t take us? My parents don’t even care, they say they do, but then completely ignore the subject until I bring it back up.

  • Hi this is doctor Abhijit sayamber md physician ex consultant Dhirubhai ambani hospital mumbai professor of MBBS and MD students stay safe and take care of yourself and society

  • I was tearful for no reason since my childhood, I remember maybe I was about 4 or 5 yo, I was crying while watching a pub on TV or any other stupid things

  • One of the lowest points in my life that proved I needed therapy was when it got to the point where I wasn’t able to smile or fake smile its like my body didn’t want to. Also I was underweight and either eat once or twice a day staying up late and smoking cigarettes. Still haven’t gotten therapy yet and I feel like my habits are starting to come back now right now I feel the urge to just snap.

  • Dear Kyle, The problem is that you are using crochet hooks instead of knitting needles. Crocheting is fun, and I think easier than knitting.

    Good luck with whichever you choose:)

  • The first one got me because I think crying a lot at the TV etc is normalised for women. It’s not healthy to feel emotionally drained every time you watch a touching ad. It is healthy to cry every time you watch Up. There’s a big difference.

  • i don’t trust they won’t tell someone about what i feel, especially because i’m young. that’s why i’m afraid of therapy, and i don’t think my problems are big enough XD

  • my mom wants to put me in but i struggle from really bad trust issues and anxiety so i don’t think i can do it and i don’t trust they don’t tell parents everything cause a thereipest even said she tells parents

  • Me just chilling cause I’m not allowed to go to therapy, because my parents can’t afford it, and that I have to learn to deal with things on my own…even though Im really struggling to do so…

  • To stop certain habit use this method this worked for me this is mine own method I hope it help others

    1) never force your brain to stop (it doesn’t like restriction) just scold yourself and say just do

    2) give it a reason why you need to do certain things

    3) reverse psychology never say I have to stop say I have stopped

    4) make yourself less interested

    5) or make a complex symbol just like I did and make your mind believe that symbol is sign of you conquering your brain and whenever your feel urge just try to remember that symbol I ensure you it will work it worked for my friends too.

    I had problem of repeating words and each and every syllable of it

  • every night i cry myself to sleep. it’s literally become a daily routine. i cry out know where sometimes i just feel so full of emotions that i just let them out. i have no one to explain my emotions to. i hate having so much on my mind but no one to talk to. i usually feel like i’m not worth anything and that no one cares abt how i feel. i feel like i’m being annoying or a burden to ppl if i try to mention my feelings or even as little to my day. i really just want someone to talk to and someone to help me. i don’t think i have depression but i struggle a lot.

  • I have depression, im not even in middle school yet.. my parents wouldnt believe me if i told them.. i would go to a school therapist but they would tell my parents and i would get in trouble for lying! I just want to feel happy with myself. I want to feel good, i want to feel like im not an ugly, worthless, spoiled brat.

  • Having an hard times about your direction in life,I recommend mirahealings on Instagram,he has a gift of fortune telling,creating bond and healing people
    He is very reliable and will definitely solve your problems

  • Retired medical professional here, also having to deal with personal health issues big time! Conclusion > educate yourself FIRST, surgeries/procedures as life saving necessitates only. The medical industry, say “industry”, is populated with narcissistic arrogant out for a buck only assholes mixed with a few brilliant heroic saints! Learn how to heal yourself first.

  • Awwww! Cally said “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a great knitter!” That or, “Can you lower your voice please. You startled me out of my beauty nap.” ����

  • I really feel like I need therapy especially cause I’ve had suicidal thoughts bbuut I’m scared to tell my parents cause they judge me on my feelings(I’m also 12 so I can’t afford anything )

  • I really want a therapist but my mom and dad keep saying that I can talk to them instead of a therapist when I don’t feel comfortable talking to them about my dysphoria or my depression and anxiety I just feel scared that their going to judge me and say that it’s a phase so I’d rather talk to a person other than my parents about this stuff…. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point….

  • I need therapy for sure my parents broke up when I was 6 and a half and apparently my dads new gf was texting my dA about sex when my mum was pregnant with me

  • Does the first one count for me? I want to cry but I keep on resisting.
    And the others are pretty true. And one of my unhealthy habits really wants to get back. I haven’t been to therapy before but my parents are thinking about making me go to therapy.

  • I’ve tried to go to therapy but my mom thinks she’s a prefesional therapist. She literally denied that I had some signs of depression and I wanted to check it out with a therapist. She literally said it’s ok I remembered when I cried for no reason when I was your age I just had to agree that was what was happening with me even though I know it wasn’t true because my mom would guilt trip me or say that she knows what’s best for me and she forces her viewpoint on people she may not notice that she does this but it’s still frustrating. I also got gradually got Anxious, stressed, and sadder (not saying depressed cause one not diagnosed with it) because I felt like I couldn’t tell her my emotions so I just bottled them up.

  • 1.i am tearful and sensitive
    2.i don’t really care about health or happiness
    3.i think about death sometimes
    4.i get angry when I’m actually sad
    5.i think about darkness and I’m lonely all the time,Plus I’m a homebody
    6.i’m just a kid.

  • One thing I want to talk about his Mini Steve Jobs don’t tell any answer actually how to help to break these habits and I don’t know just start and it ends

  • I am living in South India…..I regularly listen to your YouTube videos…..You are a therapist with a better understanding of psychology…..I will definitely buy your book “ Are U OK?” from one of the online shopping malls……I regularly meditate and I sleep well…..I read the books of Dr Norman Rosenthal…..

  • I need a therapy because I’m 14 and I’m scared of dying(non existence) I feel hopeless because this could’ve be the worst fear anyone could have

  • I need therapy but my parents don’t know the extent of how bad my mental health is. They keep insisting that nothing is wrong with me. Even today she told me that. I can’t even cry. I can’t remember the last time I’ve cried because of my emotions (the short few minutes of crying when I found out my brother died doesn’t count for obvious reasons). Sigh.

  • I’m 13 and I’ve been through a lot apparently. I just feel kinda numb. In the past year my parents got divorced, I got a stepdad, I moved house 2 hours away while my sister stayed with my nan and grandad. My nans an alcoholic. My dad stopped speaking to me for no reason, when my parents were together they fought and shouted a lot but I got used to it. My mum asked me if she thinks i would like therapy but I didn’t really know tbh

  • I don’t like to show my sadness or tell anyone,I keep it in myself and start crying for no reason from time to time.I don’t like to tell anyone about it or they’ll think I’m a failure and leave me.Or think I’m doing it for attention,I also had some times when my suicide wasn’t successful.

  • I’ve been to therapy many times, but it hasn’t been able to help me. I’m still having very bad depressive episodes, and my mental health is getting worse as days go by. I’m not sure if I should go though, but if I ever wanted to, my mom would put me back in….I don’t know whether I should go back or not…

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  • when your a therapist and your watching if you need a therapist

    just saying im not a therapist i just thought of it since shes a therapist and she said she needed therapy