The Numerous Advantages of Embracing Adequate Over Perfection

 

STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT

Video taken from the channel: Prince Ea


 

Overcome Perfectionism in Relationships and in Life: The Problem with Trying to be Perfect

Video taken from the channel: Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.


 

PERFECTIONISM | Why good enough is good enough

Video taken from the channel: Pooky Knightsmith Mental Health


 

Perfectionism: Will I Ever Be Good Enough? | His Grace

Video taken from the channel: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints


 

GOOD ENOUGH vs PERFECT Producing results instead of holding out for the unattainable

Video taken from the channel: Michael J Long


 

The Perfectionist Trap

Video taken from the channel: The School of Life


 

Perfectionism – The Battle of Never Feeling Quite Good Enough | Julia LeGallo | TEDxTruro

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


Instead of perfectionism and adding more pressure to your life during an already anxious time, embrace good enough. The Many Benefits of Embracing the “Good Enough” Versus Perfection — Achieve Personal Fitness Perfectionism often makes life challenging. No matter what you do, you feel you could have done better or do more.

And believe me, being a personal trainer AND a physique competitor, I have dealt with my share of this struggle. That in itself will give you encouragement and motivation to continue,” Wright explains. “When we start to be more compassionate to ourselves, we become better people and that compassion comes out onto our loved one, too. We can’t hold them to perfection, and we become more patient and loving.” And that’s good for all of us, anytime. He wrote that parents who are “good enough” leave room for their children to grow, whereas when we aim for perfection, we can intimidate and overwhelm children, interfering with their healthy. This is a hard concept to embrace, and one that I actively struggle with myself.

But this year, I have made the decision to reject perfectionism in favor of good enough. I am choosing to seek action, movement, and progress instead of a futile journey towards the elusive “perfect.”. While a commitment to greatness can seem purely positive, too much of a good thing can create a barrier to getting things done and building effective relationships.

For individuals, perfectionism. To be a good enough manager, Nurick says you must act as a teacher and mentor, help employees find their strengths, and give them the freedom to. The difference between excellence and perfection People often confuse perfectionism with excellence. and imperfections when in reality there are many benefits to embracing our imperfections.

You’ll probably have a few realistic and fair goals wrapped under the perfection umbrella—like making sure your cover letter is free of spelling mistakes and includes targeted messaging for the job. Pitfalls of Perfectionism Perfectionism may be the ultimate self-defeating behavior. It turns people into slaves of success—but keeps them focused on failure, dooming them to a lifetime of doubt.

List of related literature:

‘Perfection’ as a Term in Aesthetics.

“The Palgrave Handbook of the Philosophy of Film and Motion Pictures” by Noël Carroll, Laura T. Di Summa, Shawn Loht
from The Palgrave Handbook of the Philosophy of Film and Motion Pictures
by Noël Carroll, Laura T. Di Summa, Shawn Loht
Springer International Publishing, 2019

What is meant by perfection?

“Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda” by Swami Vivekananda
from Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda
by Swami Vivekananda
Partha Sinha, 2019

Perfection does not derive from outside of a subject; it comes from within a subject’s own potentiality.

“Contemporary Controversies in Catholic Bioethics” by Jason T. Eberl
from Contemporary Controversies in Catholic Bioethics
by Jason T. Eberl
Springer International Publishing, 2017

Perfection exists in reality, not in theory.

“Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control” by Pavel G Somov
from Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control
by Pavel G Somov
New Harbinger Publications, 2010

There is no such thing as perfection.

“Marketing: Essential Principles, New Realities” by Jon Groucutt, Peter Leadley, Patrick Forsyth
from Marketing: Essential Principles, New Realities
by Jon Groucutt, Peter Leadley, Patrick Forsyth
Kogan Page, 2004

Perfection is to serve a purpose.

“Secured Transactions: Examples and Explanations” by James Brook
from Secured Transactions: Examples and Explanations
by James Brook
Aspen Publishers, 2008

Perfection does not exist.

“Patient Safety in Surgery” by Philip F. Stahel, Cyril Mauffrey
from Patient Safety in Surgery
by Philip F. Stahel, Cyril Mauffrey
Springer London, 2014

There is no such thing as perfection in anything which is the work of man.

“Treasury of David” by Charles Haddon Spurgeon
from Treasury of David
by Charles Haddon Spurgeon
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2016

Not perfection, because that doesn’t exist.

“The Fall of Legend” by Meghan March
from The Fall of Legend
by Meghan March
Meghan March LLC, 2019

Perfection is sometimes thought of as achieving balance.

“The Skillful Teacher: On Technique, Trust, and Responsiveness in the Classroom” by Stephen D. Brookfield
from The Skillful Teacher: On Technique, Trust, and Responsiveness in the Classroom
by Stephen D. Brookfield
Wiley, 2015

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

[email protected]

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133 comments

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  • I’m wondering why more people aren’t searching for this topic. This brightened my day, and I applaud the speaker and viewers who are trying to identify and cope with this.

  • It sure is easy to forget that through His Power The Father Through Our Brother (and because He has made intercession for us as His and Our Father wanted Him to do, is a Father to Us) is holding everything together by His Priesthood Power. It is so easy to forget that not one Physical Law or Law of Physics that all of us depend on to keep living would remain in Force for us to dependably use without Him Holding it that way. This is Their work of Love for every Living Creature, including all of us, even those that Curse God! Being as We Members of This Church do not try to Curse God, or Anyone Else, Knowing that Our Father and His Son are always taking care of us, who try to do Our Best In Jesus Christ’s Name, should always give us an inner feeling of Happiness, even if we are and feel Unhappy, as Christ and Our Father must Appreciate what we are trying to do, even when it is impossible for us, as, since they are keeping the most minute Law In Force all the time, They Definitely Know what we are having trouble with while Doing Our Best, Especially, when we Thank them every time we eat something, even if we forget at all other times, especially if thanks be to the Father by Jesus Christ’s Name! So easy! Not what some others go through to get to the Supreme Light! -Because they think they need to. Our Faith in Christ puts us there! We should be Always Thankful!

  • He actually touched my heart when he said everybody is like a tree and that’s true. There’s billions of trees all around the world and yet summer dying, being born, some look out of place but they’re still beautiful just like us.

  • Great, thanks much. I think this points to the problem of FAILING SCHOOLS, today. http://www.SavingSchools.org
    For example, I student who does so-so work, may not be given much encouragement, or much credit.
    Also, teachers may not be wiling to improve unless they expect incredible results, every time.
    MUCH THANKS Harry in Rochester NY http://www.SavingSchools.org

  • Idk but to think that many other people fail too make me become lazy and complacent. Looking at other people’s failures does not help me that much

  • So perfection is possible and you’re gonna struggle to get there, but you probably won’t. Someone else will be better than you and all your work will be for nothing anyway. Better to not try and fail without putting forth the effort.

  • Thank you for this video. I showed it to my youth Sunday School class today. I asked if anyone felt like they weren’t good enough. Everyone raised their hands. I hope this video helped. It was a powerful message for me. Thank you!

  • There is no such nothing as perfection if their is a perfect thing then that’s it nothing, people confused perfection to infatuation people thrive to do things like art and science or math it is because of infatuation not perfection anything can be better than anything that doesn’t mean it’s perfect.

  • Man, I’ve been there when you hear that heart-breaking silence from the Heavens. Thanks for sharing to help others feel less alone!

  • Who’s ever is reading this I just wanna let you know…….. You are beautiful/handsome don’t let anyone put you down nobody’s perfect God is the only perfect one and he loves you ������❤️❤️❤️

  • You can’t be perfect because nobody is perfect. God is the only one who is perfect. He might be trying to tell you that your path is wrong. You don’t need to feel that way. Repentance of your sins, asking for forgiveness and accepting that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins is all that matters. If you know this in your heart and have a personal relationship with Jesus, you have absolutely no reason to pursue anything else spiritually.

  • Thanks so much for this video. I am a recovering perfectionist. I always wanted to be perfect, in body, school in life in general. I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others and also other christians to see if I fit the mold, Unfourtunately this is still my battle. There can be such a pressure to be perfect and never feel enough. I’m hoping on this journey that God will continue to lead me to let go of my perfectionism

  • I am a perfectly imperfect perfectionist always striving for the very best… there is always room for improvement… and that is perfect… learn, improve, grow… the perfection is in the process… not in any static state of being… orient your intentions well and go for it boldly!

  • If perfectionism was obtainable you’d never have to buy a new phone, you’d never have to get a new car etc. the whole world would just be a utopia. It’s unrealistic. The world is finite. Things erode. Nothing (or very little) is perfect.

  • Not one single human being has ever been perfect. Only our Savior Jesus Christ was and is perfect. So until He receives us, all of us should try their best to find peace in doing what we are able to do having hope, faith and charity towards others and ourselves.

  • Shared this! As a hairstylist I’m so susceptible to trying to be perfect or put out a perfect product. It’s hard to not fall into perfectionism again in certain situations. However, I’m sharing this video with my colleagues because we need to stay away from that destructive cycle. Thank you ����

  • Ugh I hate to have a perfectionists illness bc if I tie my hair with a shitty hair tie and it feels uncomfortable my heart starts beating so hard that I feel like I need to cut my hair and burn the tie,and everyone who as the perfectionist thing like me have some things that if they feel uncomfortable their palms become sweaty and get very very very very very angry and they want to cut or burn the thing that doesn’t make them feel comfortable,Like if you feel the same like me!plz

  • I never thought about the “less Pain” = “pleasure”. So true. It’s also similar to the mindset of “Well, he did not call me a five letter word today, so that must be love.” Thank you for your obvious compassion and sensitivity in all of your videos.

  • This video was chock full of good points. I took tons of notes. Thanks Lisa!!!! You have helped me grow into a new me! Really. A healthy me. It is incredible to become me!

  • Everything in this video is false. There are gifted people who are able to succeed with little to no failures that makes “successful” people like you compelled to make this video to assure yourselves and stay relevant.

  • I use to be myself and put myself out there i didnt care i wasnt perfect. Then i started chasing perfection and was hiding myself from the world because i wouldnt show myself until i became perfect but guess what you will never be perfect! Go be good now.

  • No real grace is taught by the Mormon church. it is a religion of works… “after all that you can do”… Biblical grace is a free gift and has NO works added. I learned perfectionism in my Mormon upbringing. I learned true grace after leaving the Mormon church and reading the Bible.

  • What an amazing experience to cause a break fro the world. I believe that God gives us disasters to help shape us into who we most want to be. When we lean into these experiences we find ourselves, God, and others. The humble sweetness that follows is so amazing because His Spirit guides us to what we most want. I’m so thankful for my own disasters.

  • “We should not look, for example, at the masterpieces of art in a museum. We should go to the studio and there see the anguish, wrecked early versions and watermarks on the paper where the artist broke down and wept. We should focus on how ling it took the architect before they received their first proper commission (they were over 50), we need to dig out the early stories of the writer who now wins prizes and examine more closely how many failures the entrepreneur had to endure…”

  • Omg I’m such a perfectionist..
    If I see imperfection
    I’m pissed
    I’m uncomfortable
    But I mean perfection doesn’t exist..
    The only things that are perfect are the things I think they’re perfect. Perfect FOR ME.

  • Wow!!!I’ve been following you for quite a while and you have helped me immensely and changed my life,understanding and perspective for the better.
    However you have just now turned things up a notch…this is me to a T!…I have a list every single day and if I weren’t to have a list I would feel chaotic and anxious.
    Spontaneity is not part of my day because then my list becomes chaotic….I know it’s all down to my childhood trauma.
    I will try to work on this now I understand it.
    Thankyou so much from Lisa in London ��❤️.You are a blessing and a gift to all of us in this community ❤️����

  • I googled “how to handle being a perfectionist” and all I got were articles about “getting rid of perfectionism”
    What bullshit! It is part of me and I want to live with it in a healthy, happy way. Not like curing an illness.

  • I fear we are missing the big picture. We know we all fall short of being worthy to return to Gods presence because of the demands of justice. In fact, none of us are, nor ever will be “good enough” to approach Gods throne in prayer without Jesus Christ. He is our advocate before the Father. And we are taught “verily verily what manager of men ought ye to be, even as I am”. We are not here on earth to do what we want, we are working to become like Christ so we can return to Gods presence. But that comes with conditions…keeping the commandments, learning and living obedience, and sacrifice.

  • I also got to the end of nursing school and didn’t complete it. For very similar feelings. Child of alcoholic here. The truth hurts. But overcoming is awesome. Thanks for your work.

  • Here is a perfectionist trap, y’all acting like scientists dont tell y’all that book aint what it appears to be. The subject according to a scientist way back in the 1600’s shouldn’t even come up, belief in creation amused him (Issac Newton). They still talk like that to this day neil degrase tyson, bill nye and the one that past recently. I saw all of that on that vp’s www (gore).

  • Thank you, for your voice. I was always in this ‘perfectionist trap’. I wanted to study it all and be the brightest student but it never felt ‘good enough’. I made such ambitious goals for myself but never anticipated the time and failure it would require to be there. Every time, when i didn’t quite succeed to complete my planned schedule, I found myself fallen into this guilt of never been good enough and everything felt falling apart. I have had anxiety, panic attacks and worse when you isolate yourself. You feel like no one will understand you and then it becomes toxic. For any student who is going through this phasei just want you to hang in there and trust the process. It takes failure and mediocrity to be there at your perfect place but till then just be patient and trust the process.

  • I can easily see beauty in everyone I meet but when it comes to myself, all I see is ugliness. I always told myself that I’m beautiful but I can’t feel it:(

  • Its funny though that we seem to need these kinds of (perfect) videos and essays with good stories, nice images and a sophisticated voice-over to let go of perfectionism:-)

  • in this life we can grow, and search and expand in ways we enjoy. if we search for God and his son we will be rewarded in the here after. there we will be eternal being with an eternity to grow. the bible states that we are to try each day to be like his son. in that way we we will finally be perfect. line upon line we will finally reach perfection. we can be finally like our brother Jesus Christ. for son I do not think this will be very long for others like me it will take much longer but it will eventually happen. if you are a good person you have goals it will happen. do you believe in eternal progress? pray about it. I am sure the Holy Ghost will testify that is true. God bless you on your eternal search. Love one another like Jesus has told you to do.

  • Thank you for all of your work and videos, you are a gift. This description describes my ex narc. How do you deal with people who overlap these characteristics? Peace n love.

  • “We cannot forgive ourselves the horrors of our early drafts largely because we have not seen the early drafts of those we admire” on point. thank you for this video.

  • Wow! Good explanation
    #mystruggles #rmh (Rogers memorial hospital) #imnotalone
    #endlesscycleofdoubt
    #depressionandanxiety
    #dontthinkjustdo
    #icanredeemmyselfifitry
    #mindfulnessiskey

  • I’ve been looking all over the Internet for things about perfectionist and I noticed that nothing good happen to them or comes out of it. Please help me! Just completing this space

  • Nobody is created to be perfect we are human beings of variety of size,color,shape! Be yourself! Subscribe to my YouTube channel!

  • I can relate with this philosophy. I want to become and architect and create my own style but I am never contempt with that style because I always find that everyone else’s in the real world seems better than mine. When I put a conventional architectural style to practice I find that I like it more because I have seen it being used in the real world unlike my style which I fear will never be used no matter how much I change and try to improve it. If I make it to uni, I hope I learn a thing or two about how to be more contempt with myself and improve my artistic skill so that I can create something from all the sweat and tears that ends up being marveled by others.

  • I Went to the most prestigious school in my country, where the King studied. It had a lot of good features but my inferiority complex I will never get over. Add on top of that social media (some of my classmates even paid other “peasants” to manage their instagram/facebook for them)
    There is but one rule at that school: Always Be the Best. No wonder almost everyone was on some kind of psych med or tranquilizer. So even though intellectually I know that they are not that much more happy in life than I am, I still get nervous twitches and feel nauseas whenever I’m around successful people. That might be because I’m a loser though.

  • mind trap may hv it value when go extreme, but once it fullfill it purpose…it time to let go mind trap, anymore might idiocy….dissolve….new life

  • This taught me a lesson maybe not to be so hard on myself I’m learning a instrument upright bass I wont be very good from the start but I keep getting better I have to know and believe and be patience and know I don’t have to be perfect.

  • Ether 1:26 “6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” Her story reminded me of this scripture!

  • I love this video so much it is really pretty good i love to studying out of the book of Mormon i love going out with the missionary work

  • As of today (6/9/2020) I see 3.5K thumbs up and 101 thumbs down. The thumbs down represent people alienated. Bitter alienation to the degree that they can’t even accept the eternal gospel the “good news!” This clip is such Good News!
    Yesterday the Church posted this statement titled: “Locking arms for racial harmony in America” It’s a call to action! It’s a call to do the “rigorous work of building bridges of cooperation rather than walls of segregation and alienation.” May the Lord bless us with individual inspiration and personal revelation as we work to reach out to those who have been alienated.
    Love to you all!

  • Keep looking up sister, keep striving to do your best and let the Lord do the rest. Remember: “Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” Our Father in Heaven loves you, you are a precious daughter of Heavenly Parents. When you feel a bit down, sing, “I Am a Child of God” and say the Young Women’s Theme; you will feel uplifted. Also, look where you may be of service to someone, by immersing yourself in performing acts of service and kindness, you will feel strengthened. Ask yourself these simple questions:Who in my circle of influence could I help today? What time and resources do I have? In what ways can I use my talents and skills to bless others? I think you will be amazed by what the Holy Ghost will inspire you to do! God bless you sister!

  • We have forgotten to imagine the oceans of tears and sorrows that necessarily surrounds them.

    We should not look for example at the masterpieces of art at the museum.

    we should look at the studio

  • I’ve actually had long discussions with my therapist about this topic, being stuck in a loop of perfectionism and disappointment. Self compassion is what seems to be the answer, sure you failed, but that’s one step forward to our goal. Being disappointed and feeling hopeless is 2 steps backwards. My favorite quote on this is “failure is one step towards success”

  • Feelings of imperfection originate from being told that you must be perfect. The only one who ever was perfect was Jesus Christ. He knows that we cannot be perfect in this life and so He died to take away our sins at the cross. He has given us the gift of eternal life that we could never acheive on our own merit. The GRACE OF GOD ALONE is sufficient for salvation and eternal life in glory with God. Everyone Should know John 3:16! “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (KJV) The only thing you need to do to be accepted by God is believe in His son and you WILL BE SAVED! No work we could ever do can get us closer to God. Ephesians 2:8-9 says “For by grace ye are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.” A gift is something that is free, and not something we can ever pay for by being perfect. Accept the free gift of God which is salvation from sin and life eternal with Him in heaven!

  • This video comes at the right time! I will be a medical doctor at the end of the year and I am not happy about reaching the finish line. I should be proud and excited but I feel so empty and not worthy.

  • It’s the devil that whispers in your ear: “It’s not good enough. You’re not good enough. Give up”. So that you will be led to ruin. Nothing can match an impossible standard, like those airbrushed skinny models on glossy magazines that real teenager girls compare themselves to and become boulimic. Work on yourself in a free-spirited way. Run with joy. Love yourself while you learn, improve, grow. “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.”

  • I so relate! Staying busy to avoid the painful feelings under the guise of ‘working towards the goal’ The goal that will finally make me happy, approved of & whole. Except the carrot always moves!

  • From a family of raging perfectionists, this is 100% true. We hold ourselves to these extreme standards and then our counterparts has to keep us in check and say “it’s fine. It is good enough!” Otherwise no project will ever be completed. Good video and applicable in so many aspects of your life. Thanks for sharing.

  • When I was younger, my family got a divorce. After the split, we didn’t have a lot of money, and had to move into a run-down house that was so hot and broken.

    My mom was rough, and my dad had a lot of anger issues. I remember sometimes crying when I heard fighting, and sometimes my dad would get so mad he would cuss at us and make me feel even worse. My brothers were terrible to me and tormented me to the point of sickness.

    I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so I felt so sad and so un-normal all of the time.

    My grandparents and I were the only ones going to church most of the time. I was usually all alone in the chapel seat.

    I felt so jealous and angry when I saw how “perfect” all of the other young women’s lives were. They all had kind moms and dads, nice homes, great siblings, and they were so happy all the time. I always thought what I had done to deserve such a terrible life, what I had done to deserve and live with this for the rest of my life while everyone else got it so much easier.

    I was the opposite of everyone. I had terrible acne and everyone knew about my bad family life. They were kind, and tried to help me out, but it just wasn’t fair. I wanted to be equal to them. I, sadly, wanted to become perfect in their eyes to finally feel accepted.

    Every day, I’d pile on make-up, even thought I hated it, to cover up my acne. I worked my tail-end off every day to afford clothes that were “in-style”. I’d pretend to be social and funny and out-going, even when doing it made me feel sick to my stomache with my anxiety. I walked, talked, smiled, and did almost everything differently when I was outside of my home.

    I looked happy on the outside, but I felt worthless on the inside. I told myself that I was ugly every day. I told myself things would never get better, and I was sometimes so sad, I’d stay in my bed all day. I felt like I could never compare to my friend’s lives.

    All of this stress, anxiety, and anger manifested in me. It turned into hate very soon. It was horrendous. I kept trying to be better and better, that I forgot to take care of myself. I wasn’t eating to lose weight. I was still caught in the never-ending stress.

    I’ll never forget what my Grandma told me one day as I broke down crying. She told me that it doesn’t matter what your life is like, who you are, what you look like, your background, or how many possesions you own. You are equal in the eyes of God. Nothing matters but your own happiness, and trying to please everyone will make you miserable. You have struggles because God knows you need to grow stronger, and all of that has happened in my life will make me a stronger person as I grow. I just need to do what will make me happy.

    I took that advice to heart, got a counselor, and finally started to feel happy again. My acne didn’t matter to me anymore, in fact, I liked it. If anyone ever told me they loved me, I’d know it was true and not just because I was beautiful. I used my money to buy things that would help me in the real world and to use for tithing. I took off my make-up and reverted to the things that made me happy.

    I learned that my friends also had a lot of problems. And I definitely didn’t have a bad a life as some other people in the world. And after some decoration and re-painting, my house started to look like home.

    Please don’t try to be perfect. It will ruin
    your life like it did mine. God loves you. Jesus loves you. The Church is true and you will find answers within it. You are beautiful, strong, amazing, talented, and you will move on to great things.

  • Okay so this frustrates me. I love Psychology like this so much, but Psychology in university is closer to learning brain biology and how chemicals affect it. Like, that’s not what I want to learn, I want to learn why people feel certain ways and do certain things, not why they were born with a brain deformity.
    I want to go back to school and do psych, but not like that.

  • In my childhood days I used to get compliment all the time, for various reasons. I was talented at drawing, I was very confident and well spoken, I’m decent looking, and I believe I’m quite intelligent as well. But all that made me a mess, with the combination of a very verbally abusive and critical father. In other words, even though I was talented in many ways, because of my father’s constant criticism of me and my sister, I felt like nothing I did was good enough. So I grew up with a fear of not being good enough and because of it I avoided doing a lot of things. This shows that how you are raised dictates pretty much the outcome of the rest of your life. Now in my 40s, I feel like I wasted all that intelligence and talents because of that fear of failing and not being good enough. I don’t resent my father but I wish my life could have been more stable.

  • This is a great topic and a great series. His Grace needs to be a much more talked about topic among The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

  • You also become a perfectionist trying to hold up to your old legacies
    Which happened merely by chance
    Thus being tortured if cannot reach that height again

  • This is great – thank you for sharing. The 2nd great commandment is to love thy neighbor as thyself. Sometimes I think we forget the “thyself” part, or we think loving ourselves is bad and can be misconstrued as pride or being self-centered. The reality is, just like that mirror exercise, we can be pretty brutal to ourselves and devoid of self-compassion to the point that it is hard to love ourselves the way we are. I know for me, recognizing that we are here to learn and grow and develop, and yes, make mistakes, allows me to still strive to be better, but to be caring to myself in the process, and to remember that we are progressing.

  • We only achieve and accomplish the things that god wants.

    Years ago, I wanted to summit Mt. Rainier more than anything. The opportunity came, and I trained hard. I worked my butt off, and I and my parents prayed fervently for both my safety and success. The second day into the excursion, I succumbed to altitude sickness, and could not go with the group to the top. I was devastated. My brother and friend would go on to the top while I waited at Camp Muir feeling miserable, both physically and spiritually.

    It was years ago, but I have never really gotten over that failure. Maybe I would have died had I insisted on going against the guide’s mandate, but I wish I had died rather than experience every failure, disappointment and heartbreak that I have had since. A supposedly loving and powerful being that created the universe, parted oceans and split mountains couldn’t have waved his arm, or snapped his fingers or wiggled his nose to keep something so trivial to him but life altering to me from happening? Did he care more about my brother’s success and happiness than mine? Were his efforts and desires more meaningful to him than mine?

    What about where I’ll spend eternity? I honestly don’t care anymore. I worked my butt off and did a lot of praying in that regard, too. He only blesses those that he loves and cares about. The rest of us have to work. He only “makes up for the rest” if that’s what he wants. What about our wants? I worked and sacrificed and gave it my all in two great careers, and he took it away. I wanted to provide for my family, and get my wife the medical help she needs. What does it matter what I want if it isn’t what god wants, whether it be providing for my family or eternal life? Trying is only for people that god wants to succeed. These are facts, and I feel so stupid for believing otherwise for all theee years.

  • A rational Perfectionism necessarily would preclude a Perfectionist’s own irrational acceptance of an exclusively unsatisfying substitute for an ideal.

    If I as a Perfectionist were to suddenly lose most of my hair, how should I respond?

    By way of accepting a hairpiece?

    OR

    By way of rejecting a hairpiece precisely for the reason that it’s an exclusively unsatisfying substitute for my own hair?

    If all would-be substitutes for a given ideal are no better than exclusively unsatisfying substitutes, the Perfectionist is irrational if he does not reject all of them.

  • ” I say never be complete, i say stop being perfect, i say, let the chips fall wherever they may” Tyler Durden for you ladies and gentlemen.

  • I love my perfectionism. I have gone through my life thinking everyone was like me and is going through the same thing I am. I guess not everyone thinks the way I do. But this video says it exactly, He makes it full. He picks me up and carries me the rest of the way. I love my perfectionism because it makes me look at everything I can improve. And I tell myself, “Why not try?” I am constantly improving and doing all that I can to better myself. But the thing is… I love myself. I absolutely adore myself, not in a prideful way. When the world is yelling at me, and telling me about all my imperfections, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You are a child of God… And he loves you. I love you.” Nothing of what others say can affect me because God is the same as he was yesterday. Jesus Christ died FOR ME. He DIED for me. I am loved. I am blessed. All of my prayers have been answered. I love learning new things, because I try my best, and the Lord knows my efforts, and awards me with the goal. And that is how I feel about life. I will continue my journey onward towards perfection in Christ, for I know that if I try my best, I will be blessed with my efforts, and accomplish my goal. <3

  • Vwry true. The beother of jared shows us that we are sinners and anly the graxe of god can help us after we come to him and accept that wea have weaknesses. That’s the key

  • Know one who is perfect or good enough. But what know is that. We should try the best we can to do the Right Thing, at the Right Time and at the Right Place. And by so doing, The Holy Ghost will lead and guide us to do what God wants. I testify in the name of JESUS CHRIST. Amen.

  • I am perfect because I learned to love and embrace the many faces this world and this life gave birth to. I am the face of Anger and Hostility. I am the face of Peace and Calm. I am the face of Ignorance and Intelligence. I am the face of Hatred and Love. Depending on who I interact with and vice versa, any face of mine can show up on arrival. The many faces I have developed has ensured my survival.

  • Hi Julia, I thought this talk was invaluable! So much so, that this is the first time I bothered to write a comment on a Youtube tedx talk. There is much confusion surrounding the word ‘perfectionist’. Society strives to develop perfect skills at the same time those who have reached that point suffer as a result of it. Thank you for this talk. Hope we all find that point of balance in life.

  • The Lord’s perfection was being COMPLETED—-SUFFICIENTLY PURE.
    For His Grace Is Sufficient for Us!!
    I am so Grateful for Mortal Angels that brought these verses to me and made them live!

  • Something Elder Bednar said that really hit home in dealing with my perfectionism is ‘your steadiness chases away the dark’. I love that quote and the concept that not doing your 100% is still really good, it’s a game-change

  • Perfect people don’t need a Savior. His grace is sufficient because He knows we aren’t perfect and He is okay with that, so we should be too. God will always provide a way for those who want to do better and be better, and He will always provide comfort for if and when we feel we can’t hit the imaginary mark. I struggle with perfectionism, the worst of it is never feeling enough for those who I love most, including the Savior. But all I can do is try and stay positive. I always say seek potential through progress instead of perfection.

  • Thanks, Olivia for sharing your story. I have experienced many of the same thoughts and feelings in my life. Thanks for reminding me of God’s love and the mercy and grace that come from our saviour, Jesus Christ. He will continue to bless you, I know.

  • If Jesus needed us to be parfect he woulda never died he died for us because he now’s we can’t be perfect he only wants you to be good as you can he now’s theres stumbling blocks that’s y he said call in my name he your savore amen

  • I have a talent for art and music. So when I was young I used to draw and create artwork with any material I saw in the house. Made pieces of art with milk cartons, drew dinosaurs that seemed to come to life. My teachers and fellow students used to compliment me of my work. One day I started becoming anxious little by little. Anxious at the thought of not being able to create what I really wanted. Stopped drawing dinosaurs and creating art. Stopped playing the piano even though I knew I had a talent for it. All due to this crippling anxiety of not being able to meet my own standards. I do some volunteer translating from Korean to Spanish but it takes me literally hours to get it started; because I have to go through this ritual of eating tons of stuff and watching youtube videos to try to calm down because my anxiety level has gone up really high. This perfectionist crap is really really crippling and I wish I never had it. I could have continued drawing art, making art, playing the piano and by now current age I would have been playing my favorite Chopin compositions.

  • Elder Holland gave a talk addressing this subject: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/10/be-ye-therefore-perfect-eventually

    We aren’t perfect and we won’t be in this life, and that’s okay. But, guess what we are enough! Many people don’t belive it (and I don’t sometimes) but we are enough.
    I often pray that God will help me to see myself as he sees me. I pray for the gift to like myself. Slowly i’ve been seeing it more and more.

  • Something I’ve learned, is that when there is silence it sort of means “You’re already doing and being what you need to be, go on”, and it’s a sort of trusting gesture from our Heavenly Fatheralthough at times it hurts because all you want is a more tangible assurance.

    Thank you for the video!

  • very interesting! I’m a perfectionist person, and that’s not normal. I’m trying hard to change because perfectionnism didn’t help to do anything in life.

  • We don’t ever have to use the term I’m not perfect. Strike it out. Change our language to ourselves.

    We can say I am continually growing towards completion. The grace offered to me allows me to make course corrections as needed and allows me to feel of the love from a loving Heavenly Father. I celebrate the love offered to me and the opportunity given to always keep practicing to be like him.

    I am improving, growing, becoming something more all of the time, because of Jesus Christ and the Grace offered me. It’s exciting! I am enough!!:-). You…. are… enough! Already… Take a deep breathe. Just keep practicing. Enjoy the hundreds of times you act so like the Savior:-)

  • I missed the premiere but i am so glad I watched this!!! This video resonated with me! I think I am a perfectionist now. I thought i was a procrastinator! I am the person that sabotages herself right before reaching the finish line! Worrying about what will happen after I “succeed”, not having the life skills for dealing with tomatoes being thrown at me. I have so much fear about not being capable after I succeed Impostor syndrome before I even succeedI even journalled all these “what if” type fearsI have so many of them! I cried when you talked about imposter syndrome. I feel so guilty and ashamed for how I have been sabotaging myself!! I feel so disappointed in myself! I have cried so much thinking how I have failed my younger self!

    I am also the person that gets so uncomfortable doing nothing, not having a to do list! Like you said I will practice being in the moment remind myself that this moment is enough! No matter what emotion I am experiencing! Such a powerful takeaway!
    I am enough! No one has the power to define my worth!
    Fifty stars for this video!

    Also love the funny ending!! ������

  • Galatians 1:8 “But though we, or an angel from heaven (Moroni), preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.”

  • We’re here to learn about where happiness comes from. It doesn’t come from competition or comparison in what we can do, talents, skills, achievements. All of us already have what we need, we just need to recognize that and put it to practice. We all care about how we feel, and we can care about how others feel, and we can share with each other what we think, what is important to us. We can support each other by making little places in our minds for those around us, where they can feel known and cared about.

  • Never give up strive to be your best heavenly father allows us to falter to be what we are and to learn its called being human. We all falter, heavenly father remains steadfast and faithful to us and will always speak with to point the way in the dark

  • The only thing missing here is the history of “lengthening your stride” and how the church taught those of us growing up in the 1970s and 1980s how we really needed to be perfect. Spencer W. Kimball and Bruce R. McConkie had plenty to teach us in this regard. The attitude which she presents was largely the result of the LDS teachings and culture. Can we talk about this?

  • Thank you for sharing this; I can relate to her in so many ways on so many levels. She’s a beautiful woman and deserves the best in her life for being so open about her struggles and concerns.

  • Gospel topics essays are good.

    Jesus saves. Nothing done by humans has God’s power. Salvation was bought by Jesus Christ not by man

  • It’s a pity this lady went through all that.
    pretty lady with a great swimming career.
    As with a lot of these stories, the story goes from ended career and mental illness to bring best friends with Jesus, but no detail about how they put food on the table etc or where or how they live?
    It would just help to hear the detail of the steps and progress.

  • The real key or secret to this life is to submit our will, our desires, everything we are or want to that which God is. That is the only way to true Joy! To lasting peace, happiness, etc. And the crowing attribute is Charity, the pure love of Christ. When we learn this, we begin to forget ourselves learn we will never be “enough” compared to God, but that’s ok as long as we strive daily to improve ourselves, work to gain Knowledge and be diligent and humble in learning and living the gospel of Christ.
    Search the holy scriptures, study all the titles of Christ and this principle will become plain to you. God Bless!

  • “Perfection is an artificial concept created by unpleased people.” I was recognized the best essey writer in my class only by this sentence.

  • Opening your heart to God (repenting/changing) is exactly what he wants. Loving him, his ways, and doing what you can to be close to him and to have faith that he is in control is exactly it!! That inner peace and approval that comes from him is worth everything. Thanks for sharing!!

  • This short statement has helped me. I knew it all along but the talk given in conference was like a key. “Be Ye Therefore Perfect…Eventually”.

  • Good message, thank you for sharing your story young lady. Much love for all brothers and sisters In Christ! God bless all who watch, and or read this comment.

  • My classmate: I WANNA BE PERFECT

    Me: Perfect is a prison

    Also me: btw plz dont go near me WE NEED TO SOCIAL DISTANCING I WANT NO CORONA

  • I used to go to the office from 6 am to 6pm added weight was unhappy. Now sometimes I start work sometimes at 12pm at times at 5 am I know i am worthy with or without certain goals. I am really healing thank you for great teacher. I stopped cleaning my house it was bringing anxiety I bring two people to help me stopped the guilt.

  • So good Pooky and particularly apt for today for me. I’ve just had a great chat about kids not doing art after they leave school because they’ve ‘got the exam’ and how they need to do it for it’s own sake. Also apt because I’m guilty of what I do not being good enough far too often and finally, and I do mean finally�� a great idea for a toon Meme popped straight into my head, I love when you do that for me.
    This is a lovely video gentle, honest and full of straightforward information relevant to all of us. Sorry I did say finally a few lines back but…..what the heck. ����

  • Great ideas Pooky, I especially agree that we should see mistakes as learning opportunities. I think it was George Bernard Shaw who said “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing”. ��

  • The most important quote on my intervention room wall is from Yoda… “The greatest teacher, failure is.” I see so many of my students have their days blighted by perfectionism.

  • Just what I needed today!!
    I’ve also watched your EMDR video. Would you say EMDR helped you with your perfectionism?
    I am currently doing EMDR to help me…

  • Thank you sweet dear Sister. I do believe at one time or another we all feel that way. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It let’s me know that I’m Ok. Your exceptional Smart and beautiful. I hear God’s spirit speaking through you. So Thank you. ��������

  • Many blessings to you. Law of attraction brings me to your videos to help me in difficult times. You are so on target to explain human behavior. Words are not enough to express my feelings.

  • Thank you for clearly discuss the issues we don’t have the words to discuss. Yeap, pleasure is less pain for those with trauma. Goals and validation.

  • I was so young I didn’t even realize there was a RN board to even have to take. Once this happened in 1987 somehow made it through yet after I was done with everything to be a nurse I couldn’t believe how anticlimactic how alk this work led to ” Work”. Which I never really fit into this mold especially considering I had been a Home Birth Midwife for 9 years after becoming a nurse to be considered I suppose Licensed. It never really took instead years later a nursing job which led to saving a suicidal girls life led to a broken neck and autoimmune disorder which has made me chronically sick for 14 years. Seems everything I ever tried to protect say nursing license was lost anyway. One day hasn’t shown up yet and manifestation of health is long forgotten. Wayne Dyer said one time ” would I rather have peace of mind or money sufficient for the rest of my life”. I chose Peace of Mind. I’ve been so physically sick and fatigued that quite honestly I become much more depressed making a goals list because for years I never even get started as a result of the stress of goals I can’t make. Therefore my goal is basically waking up at all.

  • Another amazing video Lisa! Thank you so much!
    You mentioned the Imposter Syndrome… I actually just heard this term the other day on Terri Cole’s channel. She referred to the difference between what she likes to call the Imposter Effect and the Imposter Syndrome the Syndrome referring to when it only happens when you’re about to achieve a goal, whereas she feels it’s worth the distinction to call it by another name (Imposter Effect) when this is generally the way that we go about life I never really had a word for it… But I’ve been meaning for a loooonggg time to actually comment on one of your videos to see if you could make a video just on this. I have often felt throughout my life and even (maybe even especially) on my Healing Journey that I don’t deserve to be feeling “good enough” or maybe a better word is “righteous” enough to think that I can become an even better person… I’m sure a lot of it has to do with my upbringing as, well, let’s just say growing oneself wasn’t really a big theme, and furthermore it would probably have be ridiculed had I had the emotion vulnerability to present it as such. It’s just funny that I just listen to her video two days ago, where I heard the term for the first time (been on my Journey two years now) and I really resonated with it as it put a term to the underlying feeling which is always so validating, and now you’ve put this one out and talked about that same phenomenon. ����������
    But again, wondering if you could do a video just on that? Just shedding more light on it for our validation and growth would be amazing! I’ve even at times nearly convinced myself that what I’m doing doesn’t really matter and is just a way for me to try to make myself feel good almost in a selfish way. Like who am I to think I’m worthy of being enlightened and to be a light worker for others. But deep down I do know that I really am a good person and want to become a better one and the more I go on, the more comfortable I am really embracing my gifts as an empath.

    Anybody else out there deal with the same? If so, how have you dealt with it personally?

    Sending you all so much love!
    -J

  • What a beautiful testimony! We know we will be good enough as long as we keep working on keeping the commandments and following our church leaders, and endure to the end. Joseph Smith taught that God was once as we were and we one day can become just like him. Imagine creating worlds without end! I love the gospel and the prophet Joseph Smith and his teachings and example.

  • There is a flip side to perfection and that is when others reject our work, because they think it does not measure up.
    Perhaps we can warn our critics that if they are too critical of our work, they may wind up with nothing… THANKS much
    http://www.SavingSchools.org

  • Thank you for being vulnerable and willing to share something so personal with so many. Your story will help so many. Thank you and best wishes to you always.

  • Accepting the fact that we’re all imperfect is what we need. It’s okay to fail. Just proves that you’re human. Your failure is preparing you for success. Like the rain before the sun. It’s preparing you for its shine. Being real isn’t the same as being “perfect”. Perfect is the most unreal you can get. To be real, be you. And don’t let anything change you. Especially not that 7 letter word.

  • Advice I shared at my son’s wedding:

    “I often reminded you that your parents have been grossly imperfect people. I even joked after stressful moments in our marriage that our imperfection is there so “you children can realize that you can do better in your future families (and not be discouraged when experiencing similar challenging circumstances.”)

    But today, let me note, our marriage feels perfect as a result of who you and your sisters are and will still become.

    Perfection is a result, NOT a destination.

    Like the atonement and the grace of Christ, perfection (or, a perfect marriage) is not measured, mapped or earned, but rather a gift. Perfection comes from doing our best to travel life’s choices and circumstances with determination, faith, hope, integrity and forgiveness, so that we can find joy and gratitude in the result regardless of our imperfections.”

  • OMG that last bit scared the bejeebers out of me! LOL
    I was listening to this while doing something else. And then all of a sudden that music came on! XD
    Love your insight and help Lisa, just don’t scare me like that hahahaha J/K

  • Hi guys! I’m super passionate about self-understanding and mental wellness, and have recently created a channel to explore these themes. If these things interest you I would really appreciate your support, as I’m just starting out. If you checked out my videos and subscribed it would be help heaps.

    I also just uploaded a vid about perfectionism (which, as a perfectionist myself, was extremely challenging but rewarding)

    Thanks!

  • The goal isn’t to be perfect but to get as close to perfect as possible…sadly this misguided YouTuber thinks only by the standards of society meaning he’s a small thinker and who only sees things from “Americas perspective” not one that accounts for the rest of the planet and while he thinks slightly deeper than most the advice is more teaching others to be lazy and self-indulgent…hes not misleading others on purpose but he stopped trying and just “settled” for where he is right now and decided to convince everyone else to stop trying to…just sad how people can mislead others like this

  • Lisa thank you so much for sharing your story about the dispute with your nursing professor. I had a very similar experience with one of my senior capstones for my accounting degree. The class entailed dealing with real clients and their businesses. I made a mistake on one of the financial equations and didn’t realize it until the day of the presentation. I admitted my error as I was presenting, and man oh man did the client grill me in front of the whole class! Luckily the teacher had my back because even she thought that the client was being obnoxious. And thank goodness with your work, it has helped me to not be traumatized by this like I was up until a year ago. You took the words right out of my mouth, I didn’t have the life skills yet at the time to recognize my codependency and learn how to deal with a narcissist.
    Much love to ya.

  • The hard thing about being a perfectionist it’s it has a lot of hard work but the end it’s actually a masterpiece for what you made.

  • Lisa, I love the ending! I am a creative person who makes most of my income in the summer mnths. I was just sitting here making a list of how much to save weekly to pull me through the winter mnths. Instead of fretting…I am going to go take a nice walk in the woods.

  • For three years I have rewritten the same words over. I experience Dissociating, Ruminating, Compulsion and Obsession daily. Trying to avoid criticism, I wrote my book than corrected it into point form. I have self isolated for the same amount of time.
    Fear of failure or fear of success? With over 700 Grammarly files and nothing to show for myself. I feel envy for those with Dunning Kruger effect, for maybe just once I could feel good enough.

  • This is something I still struggle with hugely. I am making progress with it but I really have to consciously say to myself, “it’s good enough” or “done is better than perfect.”

  • #perfectionism #perfectionisme #perfectionismsucks #perfectionismrecovery #perfectionismadness #perfectionismyenemy #perfectionismdesigns #perfectionismisstupid #perfectionismygoal #perfectionismisoverrated #perfectionismeloslaten #perfectionismnomore #perfectionismkills #perfectionismyth #perfectionismisacurse #perfectionismystandard #perfectionismypassion #perfectionismecoach #perfectionismyright #perfectionismproblems

  • What I heard when meditating on this is if you stop performing you will become worthless. Then I heard my dad’s voice telling me I was lazy and worthless.

  • I felt like this, Lisa, my whole life. I,finally, learned to have my own time, I breathe, I meditate, I exercise. Of course, I still have goals but I ‘m more in the now and I’m enjoying what I’m doing, feeling what I’m feeling.

  • Hi Lisa, Can’t brag on you enough as I did this a.m. Spent most of afternoon reading and reviewing Codependent Now What? I see my growth from my consistent daily practices and yes, also see daily ongoing healing which brings me much joy. These childhood messages can indeed be examined and rewritten as they should have been given, all without malice. Self-correction is willingness to continue to address head on the pain and panic as it presents and conquer with new true, loving, nurturing messaging as meant to be. I am so grateful my word search on YouTube over a month ago, led me to you. So many things to be thankful for in my life, you being one of them. My new calm and courage, lead hand in hand in manifesting much, much more happiness, pure joy and confidence in the knowing. Namaste…as I am seeing the divine in all.

  • It’s true. I’m a photographer, and 2 years ago I took photos that I was pissed seeing, my photos were not turning out the way I liked plus I did not know how to use my camera so it made it worse. I used to compare my photos to the pro photographers and it crushed me to see how horrible they came out. Now a days my photos have improved so much and I’m more perfect for being not perfect. Plus I know my camera and I’m soon starting a photography business.

  • “I am good because I know God. I am good because I want God. And I am good because I believe in God. And that’s enough.” So so powerful. Thank you Olivia. You have inspired me.

  • Perfection  is impossible because it defeats the purpose of the mission that is growth. Whatever is perfect no longer needs to get better so now it stops growing. Perfection is a catch 22 life is imperfect so perfection is impossible.

  • It is almost impossible to achieve true perfection without either immeasurable talent or immeasurable perseverance, and it is usually the former.

  • Every thing is perfect. its just ur way of perception. Every thing created in it’s best to gives diversity. Purpose of creation in that way is diversity that things exists in that way too.

  • This is really confusing. I’ve heard many LDS members and seen many LDS sources that talk about the importance of being worthy. What does it mean to be worthy? What’s the difference between trying to be worthy and trying to be “good enough”?

  • It’s the environment, I’m a member as well, and since I moved to the USA some people especially in Utah (this is my personal opinion based on what I’ve seen and lived with my mission companions) feel like they have to be perfect in order to be worthy of God’s love. This view of life and non healthy competitiveness is causing depression and feelings of failure. Please stop and see how great and awesome you are!!

  • From the Christians holy Bible only God is know to be perfect but all men are working towards perfection but will never atain that perfection till death calls

  • Right, and how many times was I lectured from the podium, in classes, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect?” All the while, no church leader ever said, “Stop beating yourself up. You’re doing just fine.”

  • But Lisa what happens when you’re a procrastinating perfectionist?? Everything has to be perfect and if it can’t be I won’t try. I have low self esteem though so nothing gets done. Then I try to control the people around me. It just goes in circles!! Control, procrastination, perfectionism is ruining my life. ��

  • 3things i love about myself.
    -I give my all, everytime.
    -I am genuine.
    -I try my best to bring joy to everyone around me.

    I’ve been misunderstood and exploited for this.. but my vocabulary has no regret. I keep being who i amits not just traits, it’s me.. and i will keep at it. Thank you Prince.

  • There’s nothing wrong in chasing perfection. If you wanna be great at anything, you have to be well polish (almost perfect) on your craft. You can’t achieve perfection if you can’t accept that you are not perfect.

  • Prince Ea You are an Asshole. Telling someone to “stop being perfect” is disrespectful, Disgusting, Disgraceful, and Despicable. You are an example of how bad society and social media.