How you can Break The Body-Shaming Habit

 

LU 074: Cyndi Springford – Breaking decades of body shame, food rules and exercise addiction.

Video taken from the channel: Life. Unrestricted. (With Meret Boxler)


 

Billie Eilish Sheds Baggy Clothes to Protest Body Shaming

Video taken from the channel: Inside Edition


 

MY BODY A Body Shaming Short Film

Video taken from the channel: Malte Schumacher


 

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Woman Who Falls Into Ice Cold Water Is Body Shamed

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How My Family Body Shaming Me Has Affected My Self-Esteem | Ask Serena | Refinery29

Video taken from the channel: Refinery29


 

HOW TO HANDLE BODY SHAME BY FAMILY MEMBERS

Video taken from the channel: Michelle Elman


How to Break Your Body-Shaming Habit. by Coach Stevo. January 24, 2016. 28 Comments.

Share it: I know a woman (not a client) who, about a year ago, decided to do something pretty radical to her body. It affected everything—from what she ate to how she worked out to the clothes she wore. This experiment was so radical that she even ended up. Instead of shaming your body, try being grateful to your body. This starts with recognising that the harmful thoughts you might have about your body aren’t your own – they are dictated by the media, and they have nothing to do with health. Some of. One of the best ways to break any cycle of guilt or negative comparison is to work on ways to pivot your thought process and try to focus on positive things instead of letting your. How To Break The Body Shaming Habit — CAZINC. Find out why we do it and how to break it. Ser Positivo Positivo Corporal Estampados Textiles Bolsos De Tela Arte Positiva Cuerpo Redondo Decorar Local De Ropa Bocetos Pinturas. Here’s a simple way to start: just track how many times per day your bad habit happens. Put a piece of paper in your pocket and a pen. Each time your bad habit happens, mark it down on your paper.

At the end of the day, count up all of the tally marks and see what your total is. Shutterstock. Who knew: you don’t just eat with your eyes, researchers say you also eat with your ears! A new study, published in the journal Food Quality and Preference, tested how our perception of the sound of eating food affects our eating habits.They had two groups of participants eat crunchy foods, one with white-noise-producing headphones and the other without. The easiest way to break this habit is to force yourself to wake up despite how tired you feel. 2. Checking your phone every few minutes. When we are engaged in a task, sometimes we find ourselves feeling the urge to reach out for our phone to check the notification we just received or scroll through social media. Your habits define you as a person and they are responsible for all the things that you have and do not have in your life right now.

It is not going to be an easy journey as breaking habits you have had for a long time is going to be tough. Getting rid of your bad habits will totally liberate you. It is a great feeling to change something that has been holding you back for a long. Almost 70% of adult smokers say they want to quit; the most common reason given is concern about their health. The concern is well justified. The four leading causes of death in the U.S. Part Two: How to break the habits holding you back from your next promotion | Ep. 146 from The ROI Podcast on Podchaser, aired Monday, 17th August 2020. Last week, we started a conversation about how the habits that might get you promoted could become the habits.

List of related literature:

If you want to change something about your body, do it because it feels good, not out of shame, embarrassment, or self-punishment.

“Astrology of the Moon: An Illuminating Journey Through the Signs and Houses” by Amy Herring
from Astrology of the Moon: An Illuminating Journey Through the Signs and Houses
by Amy Herring
Llewellyn Worldwide, Limited, 2010

willpower or self-discipline than “I thought I looked really disgusting.

“Feeling Good about the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems” by Sabine Wilhelm
from Feeling Good about the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems
by Sabine Wilhelm
Guilford Publications, 2006

These compulsions may look more acceptable than eating, but they all have consequences.

“Anatomy of a Food Addiction: The Brain Chemistry of Overeating” by Anne Katherine
from Anatomy of a Food Addiction: The Brain Chemistry of Overeating
by Anne Katherine
Gürze Books, 2013

If urges that are biologically rooted wither away by being ignored because your emphasis is elsewhere, certainly an acquired habit like smoking will also wither away if you learn to ignore it by emphasizing this commitment to respect your body.

“Trance and Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis” by Herbert Spiegel, David Spiegel
from Trance and Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis
by Herbert Spiegel, David Spiegel
American Psychiatric Publishing, 2008

Other ritualistic behaviors include compulsive calorie counting, weighing oneself several times daily, compensatory exercising for a specific length of time, scrutinizing the contents of the purge, and cleaning and deodorizing the bathroom after purging.

“When the Body Is the Target: Self-Harm, Pain, and Traumatic Attachments” by Sharon Klayman Farber
from When the Body Is the Target: Self-Harm, Pain, and Traumatic Attachments
by Sharon Klayman Farber
Jason Aronson, Incorporated, 2002

of beating yourself up for overeating, being overweight, or having gotten out of shape, acknowledge the positive intent of your behaviors.

“Full-Filled: The 6-Week Weight-Loss Plan for Changing Your Relationship with Food-and Your Life-from the Inside Out” by Renée Stephens, Samantha Rose
from Full-Filled: The 6-Week Weight-Loss Plan for Changing Your Relationship with Food-and Your Life-from the Inside Out
by Renée Stephens, Samantha Rose
Atria Books, 2011

Some of the ways in which we resist this rigidification of the body image, Schilder asserts, are through “playing” with the body and the body image, by transforming these latter through clothes, decoration, jewelry, or even self-mutilation” (Schilder 1950:206).

“Body Images: Embodiment as Intercorporeality” by Gail Weiss
from Body Images: Embodiment as Intercorporeality
by Gail Weiss
Routledge, 1999

Besides, if you’ve persuaded yourself that your body is the problem, then your body image miseries will seem justified.

“The Body Image Workbook: An Eight-step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks” by Thomas F. Cash
from The Body Image Workbook: An Eight-step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks
by Thomas F. Cash
New Harbinger Publications, 2008

These kinds of behaviors perpetuate the self-destructive cycle of body dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, shame, and guilt.

“The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook: An Integrated Approach to Overcoming Disordered Eating” by Carolyn Coker Ross
from The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook: An Integrated Approach to Overcoming Disordered Eating
by Carolyn Coker Ross
New Harbinger Publications, 2009

I’ve seen the attitude lately at camps/youth groups/Christian places that says, Why don’t you just find the willpower to stop doing [addictive behaviors] to your body?

“NIV, Bible for Teen Girls, eBook: Growing in Faith, Hope, and Love” by Zondervan,
from NIV, Bible for Teen Girls, eBook: Growing in Faith, Hope, and Love
by Zondervan,
Zondervan, 2015

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

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  • My mom called me fat and she keep comparing me to my other siblings. I try not cry infront of her tho. But also my uncle’s too. They said things to me like that like I’m not hurt inside. My mom even ask me why I take things personally. She even said I have a deep voice along with my siblings. Which made me broken and cried everyday just by thinking about it:/.

  • Someone said to me today I should be body shamed in order to lose weight and I will never be thin unless another person body shames me. Super hurt by this statement I don’t know how and why it affected me so much but I cant stop crying �� and it was done by someone I love so much I feel so angry but mostly hurt. As soon as that person said it in front of very few people I felt so ashamed and tears just started rolling down my face I couldn’t hold it I think this incident hit me really hard I wish I could just leave it but I can’t it’s too painful �� and it just broke my self esteem.

  • My parents both didn’t have any responsibility as a kid and so then they call us there slave and say that’s the only reason they had kids, soon we got older and my mom started body shaming me I’m still only 13 and she picks on me over everything I’m a social outcast in my hole family and the target in my house I can’t speak without someone interrupting me. I just can’t explain what some of the things they say to me are And I know other people have it worse

  • my mum just told me ‘you know fatties don’t get any where in life and right now ur in that state’ I don’t even eat mom she just makes me feels terrible about myself

  • Some people need a high five with a book to educate them on how to be compassionate towards others as for the title of this video they should do something about it

  • The beginning of this year, I went through the same exact thing. At the same time, I was in such a horrible place in my life at the time. So I became an emotional eater. I was at my heaviest at 241 lbs. my family thought I was pregnant or they thought I wasn’t vegan(there’s PLENTY of unhealthy vegan food and I consumed it all). It made me feel like crap. I stopped talking to majority of my family members and decided to go on a self love journey. I wanted to feel better about myself. Started losing weight(for me and no one else), starting changing my appearance(exploring my femininity)and started changing my thought patterns(relationship with God, prayer, gratitude and affirmations). I lost 45 lbs and I haven’t been this happier in a very long time.

  • Wonderful video. I love the advice on not engaging. I am surrounded by people who comment on my daughter’s body and I am trying to make it stop. She is only 1 and I fear it will get worse. Could you please do a video on what you lightly touched on in regards to everything we hear by the age of 7 being what shapes us? Please & thank you!

  • I remember my whole family says that im to skinny and that i should gain weight and it got so bad that i filed for early independence

  • She neglects her health for years….and can’t be pulled out of the water by two men. Instead of being grateful she complains about the obvious observations anyone would make!!! Meanwhile, the two Heroes and the police get no honorable mention!!!

  • My family always fatshames me (specially my sister) I’m so tired of it. when I get mad they’ll say “its just a joke” and laugh at me for getting mad. I always wonder why my body is different than them. I eat the same amount of food they eat but why am I bigger, why do I weigh more? I hate my body. I’ve tried diets and I’ll lose 3 pounds but after losing I gain it back. I wanna starve myself but they’ll ask me “are you on a diet?” and make fun of me for it. sometimes I wannarun away. ever since I was a baby I was already bigger than other people. oh how unfair the world is… ��

  • I used to be a little overweigth during childhood (which i was completely fine with:)) but through middle school I was tired of being bullied by my peers so I finally was able to lose about 15 pounds going into sophomore year (i lost it over 4 months) and haven’t felt so positive in my body before. It’s not really my weight that has made me more positive but actually the mindset that i developed. however, since I am now in the “healthy” bmi range, my parents have been relentlessly shaming me for losing weight. its like they want me to go back to the version of myself from years ago where i was more vulnerable and less condfident. it rlly sucks

  • In 8th grade (I’m a [highschool] senior now) I went to my friend’s house and we went swimming but I didn’t have a swimsuit so I borrowed her sister’s bikini. I needed a new race suit for swim practice and when my mom came to pick me up, I didn’t have time to put my shirt on so I ran outside in the bikini. My mom said I shouldn’t wear a bikini because I’m fat and it looks terrible. After that, I didn’t care about what suit I had, I just wanted to get away from my mom. I went back to my friends house crying. Everyone was so mad about what my mom said. And I actually wanted to die after that. But I’ve learned to accept and love my body for how it is now. And now, that’s the only type of suit I wear now are bikinis, unless I’m at swim practice or at a meet.

  • My mother commented a lot on my weight gain from college and I was so confused because she’s larger than I am (although making progress with her body journey).
    However, I realized that ever since I was a kid, she equated herself being fat with her being ugly. She has her own self-love issues from her weight gain from having 3 kids. I’ve been working for so long to say and do little things to help her feel better about her style, and overall self regardless of her size. Since then, we’ve both had a more healthy outlook on our overweight beauty.

  • This is why I don’t take compliments seriously �� because they don’t mean it. I just know they’re going to say something about my body and I use self criticism for myself to adjust to reality.

  • Yesss!! I LOVE seeing the transformation happen for her in real-time! As a very satisfied customer of SassClass, I highly advocate the FUN and EMPOWERING experience you have there!

  • I live in my parents house still and I had a baby. I got a bit heavier and my mom has been commenting on my body ever since. Actually I’ve always been heavier than my sisters and I feel like I have to be like them. Postpartum sucks. But I’m trying really hard to love myself more.

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  • If my ventral vagal nervous system wasn’t robustly built when I was a young child, can I robustly address that now?

    I loooove music and ‘Singing’ and I looove nothing more than putting on a playlist of good music and singing with passion the words with the meaning and the message. Is this that robust answer? it feels so good for the soul ����

  • i used to be quite overweight and when i lost weight my mom sqid a lot of commenting on my body she said i had to gain weight again but i didn’t see why she was body shaming me ��

  • This is a common problem! I lost 30lbs during my senior year in high school and college. Once I got to my junior year in college, I gained like 20lbs and my mom is always reminding me I gained weight like I don’t know.Its mad annoying tbh especially when I’m trying my best to lose the weight again. So anytime she sees me eating a sweet treat she criticizes.

  • My family, especially my mom, constantly fat shamed me. I was given diet teas, so called fat loss formulas, and eventually diet pills in college. The admonishment got worse during college since I gained a lot of weight. After I graduated and moved out, I didn’t have to deal with the fat shaming anymore. I didn’t have to deal with the shame and criticism, and could finally breathe. So I managed to hire an online trainer who taught me how to track what I eat and be accountable to go to the gym. So, I managed to lose a lot of weight since I got out of the negative environment.

  • Lenny is such an inspiration! You can tell her outer beauty is reflected on the inside. <3 So amazing to see Serena helping such deserving young women. Can't wait for the next episode!

  • It’s so funny that you posted this video. I watched a friend of me be body shamed by his father SEVERAL times in front of several people while he was shirtless at the pool yesterday. When I brought it up to his brother and he said it’s been happening his entire life. It broke my freaking heart. I deal with a more indirect type of body shaming from my mother, she doesn’t really know she’s doing it, it’s more of an ingrained behavior, so watching somebody so blatantly fat shame their adult child really threw me for a freaking loop. He’s been sober for almost four years too after dealing with drug addiction, which is where a lot of the weight gain came from. It’s like. Do you want you son sober or “thin”? WTF??? Anyways, great video!!!! Came at a really good time!!

  • Then your family isn’t body shaming you… Girl get you life and stop whining. If you wanna be a BBW BE ONE! if you want to ski down do it. Stop blaming others. It’s you not feeling comfortable with you. EVERYBODY AINT GONNA BE SKINNY

  • I don’t know why but I got unsubscribed from your channel! Mentioned this when I didn’t see this vid in my box! Subscribed right back but what if this has happened to others:O
    Anyhoo this video hit really close to home:( my family is the only remaining bodyshaming crowd in my life, got rid of the rest!

  • all of this makes so much sense. my uncle told me repeatedly from the age 5-18 that i shouldn‘t eat that much or how he puts it “look after yourself more“ and he would give me lecture every time i ate sweets around him to the point that i wouldn‘t eat around him because i was so scared of his comments. my three year old younger brother would always get encouragement for eating and they would say stuff like “ooh you should eat more, guys don‘t gain weight that easily” and i was so jealous of him when i was younger. my aunt and my grandmother still say to me that i would be perfect if i would loose some pounds and i always tell them that my weight and looks did not get me into university and that there are more important things than weight-loss but they always feel like i’m just getting angry or frustrated and answer with “wr just want whats best for you” (lol yeah right) my mother was like this as well but after repeating my stance she started to have my back and is telling my relatives to back off and i’m at least happy that i have one family member that is trying to understand me.

  • Its so tough living with family members who are truly trying to help by giving you weight loss tips or applauding your weight loss when you were sick and you haven’t eaten in a week.

  • I decided to move out for good.. still do my own shit.. I don’t care anymore.. I do my own life.. this is my life and I am in control of it

  • I am not really fat I just need to lose 5-6 pounds but my whole family is calling me fat everytime they see me eating. I got hurt and I started water fasting.I only drunk water for 3 days. I lost 2 pounds but still they call me fat. I am only 14 I can’t handle all this..

  • This was super helpful! Thank you ��. I’m growing some capacity…yay! But when I think about releasing my survival energy, it feels overwhelming because of the trauma from in utero through my early 40s. When I start releasing, will the stuff coupled with specific events release with it? I have so much it feels like it will take forever to release it all.

  • Thanks for the advice <3 I have a mother-in-law who always thinks she's making compliments by commenting on what I wear e.g. "Those shorts look better on you, the other ones showed too much of your ass." and I always try responding by saying something positive about myself but that doesn't make her stop. It's because I keep engaging in that conversation, right? �� I should stop her immediately.

  • This was pleasing to watch. I felt happy seeing Rafilenny gain confidence as the show went on. I hope she continues to go to sass class and live her best life. God bless.

  • during quarantine i got bigger on my thighs and in the stomach area and my mom keeps telling me to lose my weight and that i’m fat. i’m tired of her bc she’s bigger than me!!! also she tries to tell me to wear tighter clothes but i don’t feel comfortable in it…

  • That is so difficult, my mother gets angry when I say she is shaming bodies, she can say things like: ew he is dirty black or wow that outfit looks grows on her fat body. She gets angry when I say that this is nasty, not kind and even racism. My dad understands when I point something at him but my mother is so difficult.

  • Poor lady and who ever those ppl r your mean u need to open your eyes. Ask yourself what if that was you and you got called mean names. Yeah! Think before you say somthing! Lady your beautiful no matter what dont listen to them because they r jelouse that they r not beautiful like you r and yeah i bet your body was numb that looks like freazing cold water. I hope your doing okay.

  • This video was awesome, thank you so much for all you do.

    I did have a question, I have people in my life who I love very much but they constantly talk shit about their bodies. They constantly say things like ” I NEED to lose weight” or “I hate being fat” etc. I never know what to say because I think they’re beautiful the way they are and I feel sad that they think the key to their happiness is losing weight.

    That being said how do you handle these kinds of situations? I want to show them that I love and support them but I’d also love to help them see that they’re already beautiful.

    Any suggestions are appreciated, keep rocking the world ��

  • As someone who has grown up in a very cruel family, I can say for a fact that getting criticized about your body and looks by strangers is bad enough…but being criticized on it constantly by your own family is soul-crushing. They are people who are supposed to love and accept you no matter what. They are supposed to be your safe space from the terrible world outside. Instead, it’s like you can’t escape no matter where you go. I hated going home sometimes, especially when my classmates were being exceptionally mean. I got no love or support from them, only agreement that I was ‘ugly’ and ‘fat’.

  • men trying to pull up what 300 lbs or more its bad for yr health to be so fat and it put those men’s life in danger if you had pulled them into the water

  • Haha karen got people to back her. She’s fat and was in a life threatening situation, which probably she could’ve made it easier to pull her out if she wasn’t as big as two people. She eats the food of two people. Is that not selfish?

  • I mean…if she was in shape she wouldn’t have lost her balance & slipped. TWO grown ass men can’t even lift her out bc of her weight & she’s numb. She’s easily over 220 lbs.
    Idgaf. That’s not healthy or cute.

  • “criticism is not love” �� damn girl, hit me right in the childhood. Both my parents were extremely bodyshaming growing up. And my mom tends to be EXTREMELY critical in general.

  • I legitimately don’t think that she’s fat and she is really gorgeous �� I love Serena’s positive attitude and vibe…everybody needs a friend like that �� and I hope Rafilenni keeps these lessons with her for the rest of her life

  • We want to help women feel more confident! ❤️ If you know anyone that could use a confidence boost, submit here: http://bit.ly/2yP61HS

  • I remember that time when I was eating at the dining table when my mum all of a sudden said “your getting bigger” and the she turned to my stepdad and was like “don’t you think so? (That she’s getting bigger)” and he literally nodded without hesitation. Honestly it makes me feel emotional because I was already hating on myself, I was around 57kg, 5’2 ft at that time and I was only 14.

    I understand their opinion but myself esteem is just on a completely different. Like I feel fat even when I was losing weight and making progress because I still had that fat mentality in me.

    It hurts so much because their my family and if they wanted to be honest with me they shouldn’t have said it in a way that destroys myself esteem so much

  • My dad used to body shame me like when it’s time for lunch he says u don’t have to eat, you look like an elephant and many other things… I look at my mom like I’m about to cry but she was laughing as well sooo, it hurted me for years. I remember one day she told me to lose weight and I shouted at her “it none of your business”, she yelled at me and I cried. Anyway if I had a daughter I will never do this to her and I will not let anybody no husband or shit says any thing. I will encourage her and make her confident ����❤️, but someone tell me how am I supposed to live with them and love them when they hurted me that much?

  • Fat shaming is necessary. Being fat is not ok, its very unhealthy and could result in a number of diseases and illnesses. Being fat is something that can easily being changed people need to stop making excuses and take proper care of their bodies.

  • Honestly people criticize all the time they are never happy. If you are overweight “Oh you’re too fat.” If you are skinny “Oh you’re too skinny.”
    Honestly don’t listen to them anymore do what you know is best for you. It is no one’s business what you look like. Forget about those comments just focus on what YOU want to look like! Love yourself that’s all that matters! ❤️

  • oooh thats make me cry i have the same situation but im skinny and always people told me why you are so skinny that hurt my feeling so much specially when its come from close people that you love

  • My parents and everyone who knows me always body shamed me to the point that I want to k*** myself.The hate towards are unbearable.

  • People suck, I’m on a diet now not because of what people think but because I want to feel better. May every person who said ugly things gain 80 pounds…

  • Thank you for doing this video because my mom my brother and sometimes my sisters join and my grandma sometimes she says it that I’m fat and thinking about this that I’m talking about right now makes me wanna cry throw up how own family could do that do you

  • One time when I was little we had some family over for a barbecue and after we ate I decided I wanted a small pudding cup. Right when i took it out of the fridge my mom shouted at me that I was eating too much. In front of my whole family. It was humiliating. Now I have a fear of eating in front of others. I’m 19 now and she makes me feel guilty every time I have a few unhealthy days. She’ll say things like “weight sneaks up on you and it will be harder to keep it off the older you get” and “fine, eat what you want but don’t come crying to me when you get fat.” She also claims that everyone my age eats healthy and that I should too. It’s exhausting. She seems to get so much more worked up when I eat junk food than when I restrict calories to the point of me feeling sick. I already struggle to find balance and this just makes it so much more difficult.

  • There is such a cognitive dissonace about how womanhood expresses itself. Women, even athletes have at least 22 percent body fat to function. There are a myriad of body types too. And yet three seems to be such a tiny little box for us to grow into/squeeze into. I have six brothers. Raised in Ireland. Was never ‘overweight’ and still, I was traded as, from a young age, I had that Hips to waist ration going on, surrounded by my friends who were more boyish for longer. Hence, predictably, an eating disorder and body shame followed. It is only after having my son that I realise how ridiculous it is. We all deserve human dignity and respect and that includes self respect. Delighted this young lady found an incredible mentor.

  • My mom always make fun of me in front of relatives.. Not only that she’s never missed any chance to make me feel ashamed…… Whenever any clothes doesn’t feets me or.. She always laughing and make fun of me in front of sellse man…

  • Hi Michelle. Congratulations on your “How to handle body shame from family members” inspirational thanks for sharing. Your family are your worse enemy they know all about you and talk about you. My mother Kathleen fat shame i Morine Barnes to get rid of me to my oldman. I am welcome round his mothers house fat 12st and my mother can go home to Jamaica. Morine Barnes 60. Donald 61, Myola 40 & Rommel Edwards 37. Graham 90.

  • Well if you weren’t that over weight it would have been easier to pull her out. At least the fat is keeping her isolated. That is some awesome strong men.

  • I’m a 36 year old gay man who has put on extra weight to due drinking and poor eating habits, my self esteem has be horrible for the past year. This video really inspired me ��

  • “I deserve to be myself.” When I say this out loud I feel anxiety Creep up the back of my neck and shoulders. When I say it to myself inside, I smile. What could this be? I have my own idea but desire your take on it. Thank you in advance for your reply.

  • For a very long time every time I would talk to my Dad, the subject of my weight would always come up. It still does but he ll just ask me if I ve gone to the gym. It really didn’t/doesn’t help with my self confidence.

  • I know that, there’s almost no family reunion without someone pointing out someone else’s weight. Maybe it’s a generation gap thing, but still I mean it’s something they’d never tell their friends or colleagues, so why talking like that to your family members? I just don’t get it..

  • i am so so happy that you guys didnt strat with taking her to the gym but rather help her psychologically break the negativity!! I love this!!! wonderful job guys!!

  • I had bad acne as a young teen, and as if i wasn’t already self conscious enough my mother would say how “ugly” and “horrible” my skin looked. Shit still affects me

  • My grandma struggles with body issues from a past abusive relationship. Which she then pushes on me but it’s gotten much better since I’ve talked to her about how hurtful it is.

    I’ve upset people by not hanging out with them anymore and kind of cutting them out of my daily life because they trigger my anxiety etc and it feels like a broken record to constantly fight about the same things. I know I’ve hurt them by taking a step back in friendships but I feel better for it.

    Great video! ����

  • I know I wasn’t the only one that was shook when Serena started speaking Spanish I really thought that she was Caucasian lol and I can relate to this video �� aside from family criticism, men and society/social networks beauty standards are ridiculous �� and a bit overwhelming as well

  • “At this point, Miller is dead weight.” Nice going, narrator. If a thin woman had fallen in, I somehow doubt the term ‘dead weight’ would be used lol. Body-shamming propagated by media.

  • Once in a while my mom tells me that i gained weight. She says it in a way that sounds reproachfully and judging and she doesn‘t seem to see how much she hurts me with it

  • Yes ets cheer when she takes of her shirt when she is struggling with image and trying to send a message. I saw a video hearing that’s all I ever wanted. Like wtf why is worse for wearing what she wears

  • . I used to weigh around 105 when I was in 8th grade and played soccer. Then I gained 40 pounds freshman year and I hated myself. Then sophomore year I tried my hardest to lose weight but ended up gaining 25 more pounds. I am currently back at 140 and I finally love my body but my parents always bring it up. And it hurts because I love where I am rn but they don’t and think I was better at 105:(

  • I really wish this shared your outfit details! I really love the blue and pink suits and matching gym sets, and would love to know where they’re from! Serena has a great fashion style, and I’ve been looking for clothes like these. I’ve looked on Serena’s Instagram as well and can’t find any clothes details there either, unfortunately.

  • My father wanted a daughter who was thin and blonde with model like features because then he could show off to other people and say my children look better than anyone else… I’m the opposite..so he tells me to this day how ugly I am.. it’s ok tho..I love myself very much and wouldn’t want to be anyone else.. always remember to love yourself and try not to let people influence your idea of who you are! ☮️we deserve better ��

  • This video speaks to me so much. My mum grabs my hips and sighs to let me know when she thinks I’ve gained weight. My weight is not the problem. My weight is between me and my doctor. Her criticism of my weight feels like rejection and hate from someone that is meant to support me. I set firm boundaries with her now. I say things like ‘I will not allow you to speak to me like that’ or ‘we are not discussing my weight’ and I literally leave the room if she won’t drop it. She has internalised fat phobia. Fat does not define your worth. I workout for me and have had to work super hard to unlearn all this body shame and Hate. CBT has been amazing for me. Doing the ABCI acknowledge (that I hate my body) Because (I’m constantly being told I’m not good enough ) but I Choose (to be kinder to myself/to love the skin that I’m in).

  • https://youtu.be/UHtBIYeyHMo Hi I am Rafilennys Boyfriend and I support her in everything she does I made the song treat you right for her

  • Hi I am Rafilenny Jimenez Boyfriend I support her in everything she does I wrote this song her take a listen https://youtu.be/UHtBIYeyHMo

  • One day my mother said “What did I do to God to have fat children?” Knowing that two out of her 4 girls were considered a tiny bit overweight. I love her and she’s really body positive today but when she said that a few years ago I just lost it

  • My dad frequently screams at me about my weight and the last time he said I wasn’t his daughter then pointed at a picture of me a year earlier saying that was his daughter and is now forcing me to workout every day with no breaks, my mum agrees with him but buys me sweets and my brother says similar things to me, that’s not even the start of it

  • My uncle will always compare me with his daughter how she was skinny and smart and blah blah! My what hurt me the most was when my dad told me that he got a gym membership because he didn’t want a FAT DAUGHTER! I lost the weight but do I feel better? No I don’t I still feel like shit and I still have these insecurities and I always feel like I’m not enough ��

  • Its so funny when she was asked who called you fat?: My Mom. LMAO! ���� but thats reality, even my own Mom warn me when Im getting fat and when i have pimples too.

  • This is a lovely video that unfortunately too many people need to witness. I love your advice about not engaging; however, every time I try to shut that conversation down, or walk away, I get dismissed for ‘being too sensitive’ or ‘being unable to handle the truth’. It just leads to holier-than-thou “insults are love, and you need to be able to take it” comments.

  • My mom used to tease me for being heavy when I was younger, I developed an eating disorder and now in my early 20’s I’m underweight, and now she teases me about looking like a stick ��

  • I’m uncomfortable with my body from the prep from my school she would just say “I’m going to beat you! ” And then she would win and say HAHA fatty!!! I would try to kill myself at night but my brother would stop me. the prep wouldn’t just say that she would say “Ew!!! It smells! Just like u!!!! ” She would do it in front of everyone…… One time I was doing a school captain thing and then she would notice that no one would vote for me and she had the guts to say in front of my face “no one votes for u! ” She didn’t do it in a nice way… And then she would not bully anyone else. I’m year 6 and very insecure if u have the time to reply or help my problems please just help me…….. ❤

  • My parents tell me to loose weight on a daily basis even though im at a very normal weight. Its hard. eventually what they say will go in one ear and come out the other. I use to be forced to go the gym now i kind of enjoy it.

  • Its difficult to handle the comments and advices to do things. And abuse starts at home. Everyone comes with bundle of diet plans and workout ideas..

  • When I was skinny I was boxy and a stick according to my mom. Now 35 pounds up, my thighs are too thick, my stomach protrudes and Ii look pregnant etc. Wouldn’t matter what I look like, it’s never what she wants, but I’m happy with myself.

  • Mt dad fat shames me infront of relatives and my friends ����. When i losed weight before over 10kg it was still Not enough. I still Get shit talked by my dad. So i gave up and gained 20kgs. And he keeps telling me i was better before but i never felt better even when i losed weight. Now everything is worse and I don’t know how im gonna lose weight. Everything he tells me JOKES infront of my step Mom or friends Like it hurts and it sticks to my mind everyday it reminds me of what he tells me ����

  • At least you were outside living life not being an ugly hearted troll sitting behind a computer screen n pretending to be someone perfect!

  • I haven’t eaten more than 300 calories in a few weeks bc my family and mom and sister especially call me fat because i “eat” all the time even though, I am down to only one meal a day while my family can eat whatever I want and whenever they want. I also never got bothered by these comments until about age 13 (right now) and I don’t have an appetite anymore and I’m used to turning away from the kitchen and I’m honestly a bit worried about myself because i just realized that i dumped my meal out the porch:(.

  • My mother always points out my acne and makes me feel bad. She also points out when I gain weight. This has been going on for 10 plus years. This video really touches home for me.

  • Around 27:20 about carrying burdens. I feel my family sees me like my mother although I’ve been exposed to more education and I’m well aware of a lot of things. When I think of myself having a child I feel like people don’t think I can take care of one… I’m starting to think it’s something like your talking about.

  • hey michelle, im so grateful i found this video because i was just body shamed by my asian family yesterday (mind you they have been doing this to me my whole life, but each time it happens, the more it hurts, makes me sad, makes me hate myself, and want to hurt myself) and i’ve been looking for solace, help, or at least someone that can relate with me or be able to give advice on how to handle a situation like this. my family is from hong kong, guangdong. they are VERY traditional and have no filter whatsoever. having caused me a lot of pain and self hate growing up. and im 22 now and they are still talking to me like im an object and that it okay to freely and openly call me fat or make comments and demands about my body. thank you so much for making this video and talking about a snippet of your experiences. its been helping me through a really tough time in my life right now, especially with ibs and fibromyalgia as well.

  • This is such a relatable video <3 I grew up hating my body, and even though I've worked through those struggles and insecurities now, it can still manifest in my life now in certain situations. I loved the part where Hunter and Serena joined in on the smashing of the plates it's a reminder that even super strong, successful and beautiful women share these same universal feelings sometimes. amazing job!!

  • I grew up with fatphobia and bodyshaming…from childhood till adulthood including mobbing by peers. It was horrific and I am in therapy because of it, and I am now over 35. It has scarred my soul tbh.

  • I really believe that the things our family say to us are a result of their own stifled internal growth and lack of confidence. They judge themselves and want something different for you, so much so they say the very things that hurt and stunt our growth. I feel sad for the family members who lived so long hearing and saying terrible things to themselves and their loved ones. How miserable they must be.

    The first times your family makes a negative comment it seems to come from left field because you were once blithely confident and happy doing your own thing. It can take a lifetime of struggles to get back to the confidence you had as a child. Or at least it can feel like a lifetime. It is possible though. I believe that it’s possible for all of us. Good luck on your journey.

  • Billie Eilish is one of the few new, artists who become very successful in doing her job (music) and not using her body like a public prostitute.

  • Years ago i had friend she was like M/L size ans her brother was joking that she had big ass long story short she start working out and dieting and afterall she become anorextic �� now she is over 33 y.o. and its past but it was scary!

  • So she tried to show body positivity by stripping of and showing her perfect body? I love the message she was trying to spread but she could’ve done it differently

  • Girl get Over it, those People Saved Your dam Life!!! Okay, someone Body Shamed You, Get Over it. You know that was Not a Easy Task at all, (Maybe, next time it may Not be Enough Men, to Rescue/Retrieve You) This is a wake up Call, “Save your Own Life and “Change your Life Style, Yes “Life Style, (No Diets) Watch what goes into your Body..Spiritually and Physically..

  • Bet she wouldn’t have fell in if she didn’t lose her balance.. come on now ur going near icy water ur life depends on every more u make. If u can

  • Why do people still GAF about comments from strangers you’ll never meet. Who gives af do what you want. She didn’t even publicly thank the guys that kept her on the planet. Just cared about trolls on the internet. That’s not grateful in my respective opinion

  • This is a great video good advice about not engaging. Thanks for creating safe places to have these important discussions.

    Do you have any thoughts on how to deal with the same issue when it’s portrayed as a caring thing I.e a present is a book on how to lose weight or gym equipment etc but it’s a gift

  • I’m 15 years old and right now I just needed motivation coz I just can’t take it anymore.. People calling me fat it’s not just that. They think that I eat alot and in reality I eat the least and workout. So instead I just lie and say that I eat everything which is a lie… And that breaks me alot��������

  • If bodyshaming come from your family or friends, They truly did IT out of concern.If someone close too you Said that you Are fat, its time too do anything about your weight.But if someone outside, like a Stranger Said that you Are fat, that is bad behaviour.That person could shame their own fat.

  • The entitled feminist mind is a fascinating thing. A normal person would have maybe publicly thanked the two heroes that dragged her morbidly obese carcass from the icy water. And yes, fat people falling is hilarious.

  • Okay… so first thank God she is still alive and these good men were there just in time to save her. Now I’m going to say something that I’m sure will trigger a bunch of women and especially feminists and SJWs but I don’t care. She needs to lose weight for the sake of her health, her body, and more importantly her life. Like it or not she would have a much better chance of getting herself out of such a dangerous situation if she had a slimmer figure and was healthier. And before anyone accuses me of body shaming I am a big person who also needs to lose weight and be healthier. At one point I weighed three-hundred pounds and was considered to be at high risk for a heart attack and who knows what else. Obesity is a very serious problem in this country that many Americans would rather not deal with and face.

  • Books I found to empowering “Women who Run with the Wolves (anything by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Este)” Warrior Goddess Training, Awakening Your Inner Fire (Anything by HeartherAsh Amara) The Princess Saves Herself in This One, The Art of Communicating (Thich Nhat Hanh )and The Body Keeps the Score, Brain, mind and the body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van der Kolk and Fierce FairyTales By Nikita Gil.

  • I’m a 15 years old body ashamed girl. I am tired to judge myself everytime I look into a mirror. I am tired of all this. I am tired of being uncomfortable in my body. I am 5’7 and my weight is about 80kg. This number scares me even that ik that Muscles are more heavy than fat. I do a lots of sports but I think I’m still fat. A lots of people told me I’m fat, even some says I’m not. Nut I heard too much that I’m fat so I’m believing it. I look around and there are these beautiful people with nice bodys all arond. But sometimes I feel beautiful. Only sometimes. Why does people judge you for your weight or your body. It’s not their body. It’s mine, so I don’t have to listen to them but they all are beautiful and I wanna be beautiful too. Just like…
    …WHY AM I LIKE THIS

  • I am not saying this in a negative manner….this woman may not be twiggy no….but I see lots of muscle to her arms shoulders and torso and a TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL FACE….muscle weighs more than soft adipose tissue. Hats off to the men who pulled her out even though it was a struggle CAUSE YOU DIDNT HAUL UP A WALRUS YOU ASSISTED A FROZEN MERMAID…..

  • Let’s be 100% honest though, if she wasn’t so damn big, they could have pulled her out straight away. She nearly died because of her size, too heavy for them to lift her. Instead of being insulted, maybe she should have a serious think about that.

  • i really shouldn’t be here but this happened yesterday i was at the pool in a two piece swimsuit with a friend she jumped off the ledge into the pool i was about to when my mom called me over and said “ you really shouldn’t jump you’d make a splash and you’d sink a lot faster and get hurt” idk it just broke me i’m 11 yrs old idk what to do after that i quickly grabbed a towel to cover up idk if it was her intensions to say that but it really hurt and i start school tomorrow and i’m really scared to go out in public now..(also i’m not even that heavy my friends are just skinny but now a feel heavy:()

  • I’m 11 and my mom and dad were abt to go get ice cream and I said “could I get one” then they were like no you eat to many sweets and are getting fat it hurt I cried for abt a hour and idk what to do and they do that several times and already insucure and I tell my friends abt it and they don’t understand.. Ik mine isn’t as bad as the others but it still hurts

  • Lenny you are extremllyy beautiful. You have beautiful features and you seem like you have a really beautiful personality. Keep doing you girl!!

  • Omg I cry! My family also treat me bad because of my weight it sucks my self love is so low I haven’t left my house in 2 years I only leave my home to work or groceries shop and I’m embarrassed of myself I use to weight 240 n now 210

  • My best friends have very different opinions about these topics (they’re not body positive), and I really wanted them to change their mind about it. They’re really great friends except for that fact, so that’s why I wanted to change their mind. I guess I can’t really change their mind, but I hope I can get them to be open about it and maybe learn more about it. Anyways your video made me feel better, so thank you!

  • ok im going to say this the best way i can WHO EVER WAS SAYING RUDE STUFF ABOUT HER SHUT UP IF U DONT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY KEEP IT TO URSELF

  • I mean you did look like a walrus after being pulled up too the dock tho. ���� just be happy those guys saved your life. Maybe this was a wake up call for you too start using your free time going to the gym instead of ice �� fishing ��

  • Calling her names isn’t right. But we can not ignore the fact that if she had a little bit more of a HEALTHY body weight. This wouldn’t have almost killed her.. I know that “bodyshaming” is a thing right now. And again calling her hurtfull names is very unnecessary and sad. But should we also just ignore the fact that being obese is really unhealthy?

  • I find it hard to be confident when it’s the people you’re supposed to trust and the ones who are raising you to be a better person.

  • Thanks for another terrific topic. As someone mentioned earlier, it was so articulate. Thank you for explaining self sabotage so clearly. For someone who swims in a sea of jumbled thoughts and emotions most of the time, you bring such clarity to the muddle, and intuitively I know what you’re saying holds so much truth.

  • Dear Irene and team, what a great talk yet again! Thank you for your wonderful work!

    BTW, here’s some interesting etymological information about the word “Personality”:
    -In Ancient Greek: prósōpon [
    πρόσωπον] meant face; appearance; mask used in ancient theatre to denote a character or, more generally, a social role
    -In Etruscan [φersu] A mask. A masked individual, often performing in funerary games. An actor.

    -From one or both of these two sources it finally went into the Latin persona: person. Character. Mask. Person, personality.
    (Not wanting to be a smartass at all, it was Alan Watts who mentioned this first 😉

  • Hello. My daughter was recently diagnosed PNES (psychogenic non-epileptic seizure) She is 23 years old. She was diagnosed as epilepsy when she was 8 years old and taking seizure meds ever since. Can somatic experience help her? Thank you.

  • I Thank God for the education you bring and share with us. And you do it in such wonderful way. Thank you Irena for great work you do. Would it be possible to do deeper talk about chronic insomnia? I think there are lots of folks having the condition and not linking it with childhood trauma.

  • Parents need to realize that what they say matters. My parents always brush it off when I call them on the way they talk and say things like” well I don’t mean that
    “ or “ it’s not meant to be personal”. Um…. I am your child( regardless of my current age) and you are supposed to be an example of how I should act. You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean, especially to your kids. If you need to vent, get a journal or a therapist since your child should not be a place for you to vent. That is completely inappropriate and WILL mess up your relationship.

  • I wouldnt say im fat but i do have a stomach and back rolls and i started to eat less and i couldnt exercise because my mom wouldnt let me go to the gym in fear of being kidnapped(shes protective) and it was frustrating because i was hiding my body in baggy clothes just so people would see the stomach or my back. I barely eat anything and i dont eat sweets often so why am i still fat? i wanted to be skinny because skinny girls are pretty and im not pretty because im fat. Luckily soon im going to start the gym and ive gotten better at my own body image,i dont think im ugly but i can do some work, i just want to be able to look in the mirror and feel at least 90% good about myself and to look good in picures

  • I’m late but I love this!! This lady is beautiful just as she is. She is enough!! Such a sweet personality too! Body positivity is so important. Size does not determine self worth. “Be your own kind of beautiful”….I wish her all the best on her self love journey! ♥️♥️

  • A parents’ role is to shape their children and the decisions that they make, steering them away from harmful choices that may seem desirable because of their lack of experience. Not to just support them blindly in whatever they do!!

  • Wish you could go over brain fog, how it incapacitates you and being dysregulated for so long. It’s hard for me to move forward and when I do have clarity it always rears it’s ugly head to where I’m overly anxious do back into freeze….so sick of this. It’s been years of this…which has made me isolate and now have a sleep fear phobia. Anyways hope to hear from you. So I sabotage due to probably learned helplessness and the brainfog is the coping mechanism due to emotional abuse and narc stuff. Gaslighting.

  • I had to move back in with my mom after having freedom for several years. The damage to my health couldn’t be more obvious… weight gain like I’ve never experienced, plus what appears to be rheumatoid arthritis. The stress of raising my son in her house and constantly encountering the same toxic methods of child rearing that she used on me is re-traumatizing but eye opening. I’m grateful for this experience but I have got to find a way out before my health fails further.

  • This should be a wakeup call for her. She wasn’t capable of basic self preservation because of her overly excessive weight. She needs to diet.

  • People telling me like I’m pretty and idk if I am but they are bodyshaming me. I’m skinny and idk they are telling me I’m flat and laughing about that. It’s hurting me a lot

  • Your skin isn’t paper don’t cut it
    Your face isn’t a mask don’t cover it
    Your body isn’t a book don’t judge it
    Your heart isn’t a door don’t lock it

    You’re beautiful❤️

    Be you…….

  • you comment, i train, you open your mouth, i train, you do whatever the fuck you want, i still train, because i want a healthy, stong beautyfull body, not designed by magazines, not copiing from instagram, but something i believe is fit to me. This is my physical form of my soul, this is where my mind lives. dont accept something that you can change!! get up and fight.

  • I see a lot of comments saying that the crowd is cheering for “bad reasons” not realizing that 90% of the crowd was 14 year old girls. I worked that concert that night and they were cheering cause it’s their favorite artist!!

  • Her “fans” were screaming when she showed her body I would have probably been like “put clothes on you don’t need to show your body!!!” I think it’s disgusting the way the crowd shouted and cheered her on they weren’t even listening to what she said.

  • Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. That woman almost died. Anyone could have fallen through that ice especially if you fell from the dock. She is a beautiful woman and im happy shes ok

  • It’s interesting that in certain areas, countries, cities, states, it is “okay” for someone to criticize someone’s body, but in general, it is not okay. I am Asian and live in the states. My family saying something that is so damaging to my health, physical health, size is not right. If we lived in Asia I’m sure it will be more prominent in that family friends would probably be saying these things to me (although I will not accept it). Luckily, that does not happen to me here in the states.. It doesn’t make it okay anywhere you live. I tend to keep in mind that any time my parents say something, it is THEIR own opnion and not true. I will choose how I take their opinion. Thank you for addressing this. Boundaries is another issue I am working on as well. Great video/talk!

  • I know she is getting body shamed, and that is really sad but let this be a lesson that in order to survive a certain amount of scenarios like this you have to be physically fit

  • I listened to the whole thing and nearly cried because people do that to me and all the things she said just hit me in the gut but like in a good way, and she’s so beautiful, with or without the baggy clothes, I hope she knows that.

  • Thank you for this wonderful interview, you both are incredibly inspiring and genuine. I felt you two were speaking through my experience, mind and heart. Thank you!