Are You Currently Grieving Adjusting to loss and managing grief

 

We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny

Video taken from the channel: TED


 

This is Complicated Grief | Kati Morton

Video taken from the channel: Kati Morton


 

The Grieving Process: Coping with Death

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How to Deal with Grief

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DEALING WITH GRIEF AND LOSS �� (9 things I wish I knew earlier)

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How to Deal With Loss or Grief of Love Ones

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How Grief Affects Your Brain And What To Do About It | Better | NBC News

Video taken from the channel: NBC News


If you try to deny or bury it, it may make you physically ill, mentally and emotionally unstable, quick to anger, and result in longer term effects of depression and addictions. Take a break from grief Just try to do as much or as little grieving as you can manage when you can. Go easy on yourself, grieving is hard work for the body, mind and.

What to Expect When You Are Grieving. Grief is the natural healing process that occurs after a significant loss. We all experience it uniquely, with emotional, physical, and social reactions that. Another model of how to manage grief and loss that can be helpful is William Worden’s 4 Tasks of Grieving.

Task 1: Accepting the reality of the loss. Unlike Kubler-Ross’ model which ends with acceptance, Worden’s model starts with acceptance. His view is that accepting the reality of the loss lays the foundation for grieving. There are many ways that people can choose to cope with grief and loss in their lives, some constructive healthy and others destructive or less healthy. 1527 Albia Road Ottumwa, Iowa 52501 Phone: (641) 682-8772 Grief & Bereavement Issues.

Coping With Your Own Grief. There are a number of well-researched models for managing grief and loss. The one that works well for both grief and loss is by Dr William Worden, a psychiatrist and expert on grief and loss. He talks about being aware of the 4 phases of grief and doing the 4 Tasks of mourning. The 4 phases of grief.

Bereavement is a type of grief involving the death of a loved one. Bereavement and grief encompass a range of feelings from deep sadness to anger. The process of. How to Lose Your Dad in 8 Days: A Guide to Grief in the Era of COVID. Recognize that the world is adapting to life without your dad at the same time that you are.

You’re grieving the. In this article, we discuss stages of grief and tips on coping with the death of your mother. Stages of Grieving. Grief is a part of life that will affect everyone.

Intense grief comes after the loss of a loved one but you may also experience it after the loss of a job or relationship. Mourning the loss of a relationship, the death of a loved one, receiving news of a debilitating health issue, or even the passing of a pet can affect people differently. Grief, and especially grief.

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including: 1. Divorce or relationship breakup 2. Loss of health 3. Losing a job 4. Loss of financial.

List of related literature:

When does grief become complicated and how do we recognize it?

“Principles and Practice of Grief Counseling” by Howard R. Winokuer, PhD, Darcy L. Harris, PhD, FT
from Principles and Practice of Grief Counseling
by Howard R. Winokuer, PhD, Darcy L. Harris, PhD, FT
Springer Publishing Company, 2012

Grief feels even more overwhelming when all the parts and losses of it are dumped on us like crates of old belongings that we can’t let go.

“On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss” by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, David Kessler
from On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss
by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, David Kessler
Scribner, 2005

Indeed, some losses are so profound and life changing that the grief never completely ends, with its intensity, acuteness, and form ebbing and flowing over time.

“Living Through Loss: Interventions Across the Life Span” by Nancy R. Hooyman, Betty J. Kramer
from Living Through Loss: Interventions Across the Life Span
by Nancy R. Hooyman, Betty J. Kramer
Columbia University Press, 2008

In mourning, it is an essential part of coming to terms with loss.

“Oswaal CBSE Question Bank Chapterwise & Topicwise Class 11, English Core (For 2021 Exam)” by Oswaal Editorial Board
from Oswaal CBSE Question Bank Chapterwise & Topicwise Class 11, English Core (For 2021 Exam)
by Oswaal Editorial Board
Oswaal Books, 2020

Grief is a natural reaction to loss.

“Patient and Person: Interpersonal Skills in Nursing” by Jane Stein-Parbury
from Patient and Person: Interpersonal Skills in Nursing
by Jane Stein-Parbury
Elsevier Health Sciences APAC, 2011

What is grief?

“Who Moved The Stone” by Frank Morison
from Who Moved The Stone
by Frank Morison
Faber & Faber, 1968

I have learned the importance of taking the time to formally grieve a loss, instead of unemotionally trivializing or dismissing it with denial.

“The Psychological and Social Impact of Illness and Disability” by Mark A. Stebnicki, PhD, LPC, DCMHS, CRC, CCM, CCMC, Irmo Marini, PhD, DSc, CRC, CLCP
from The Psychological and Social Impact of Illness and Disability
by Mark A. Stebnicki, PhD, LPC, DCMHS, CRC, CCM, CCMC, Irmo Marini, PhD, DSc, CRC, CLCP
Springer Publishing Company, 2012

I Assist with understanding the grieving process and acceptance of feelings as normal.

“Medical-Surgical Nursing” by Priscilla LeMone, Karen Burke, Trudy Dwyer, Tracy Levett-Jones, Lorna Moxham, Kerry Reid-Searl
from Medical-Surgical Nursing
by Priscilla LeMone, Karen Burke, et. al.
Pearson Australia, 2015

If grief is normal, what, then, is “normal” grief?

“Handbook of Bereavement: Theory, Research, and Intervention” by Margaret S. Stroebe, Wolfgang Stroebe, Robert O. Hansson
from Handbook of Bereavement: Theory, Research, and Intervention
by Margaret S. Stroebe, Wolfgang Stroebe, Robert O. Hansson
Cambridge University Press, 1993

Grief is a natural process that we all experience with a loss.

“Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation” by Sandra Ingerman, Hank Wesselman
from Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation
by Sandra Ingerman, Hank Wesselman
Sounds True, 2012

Alexia Lewis RD

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Heath Coach who believes life is better with science, humor, and beautiful, delicious, healthy food.

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  • You don’t move on from the lost of a love one you move forward with it. I lost my parents and my one and only child grief is my constant companion and I know I have to live with it for the rest of my life����

  • I lost my mother when I was really young, I was 8. I wasn’t given an outlet to process it. I don’t think I was able to. I wad probably too young to process my way through the loss on my own, my guardian was offered counselling for me but turned it down. I really wish they’d accepted it. I couldn’t fully process the loss and changes on my own. It isn’t until the last few years that I have been able to start process losing my mum so young and it’s true impact on my life. I really miss her. I feel lost without her and I feel like I really need her. I like to listen to music that makes me feel close to her, I will jump on to any song that makes me feel like she is really there, beside me. I hate that she wasn’t here to see me finish school or go to college, I hate that she won’t be here to see me get married or have babies of my own. I kind of hate that my brothers got more time with her and she got to see both of them become adults, I hate that I never got to have a mother-daughter relationship with her like my friends and cousins got to have with their mothers. I am 24 now. Do you think all of this could be complicated grief?

  • # faq kati Morton
    Hi Kati Morton My name is Jessica whitehead I am your biggest fan for ever I love you and Shaun. I lost one of my best friends from school died by suicide I really miss her like a sister and I loved and cared and missed her.
    I found out that she died on Facebook and then I asked another one of my best friends from school if it was true and she said that it was and a nother one of my best friends told me to move on and forget about her and get over it I have not cryied about what happened or tell anyone that she hade died. I promise her that I would be strong for her family and our friends and I never got to tell her what I was thinking about & that I spoke to her the night before she decided to leave here. I also know she died I blame myself then and even now 4 almost 5 years ago. I didn’t even get to go to her house or her funeral. I hade so many plans to meet up with our friends from school thanks.��

  • I lost my great grandma on December 20th 2019 right around the time I left school with my friend, we were just going to watch high school musical for kicks and giggles and have a good time. After only being at the house for 5 minutes my mom yelled downstairs that my friend had to go home, I of course asked why, she said my great grandma was pronounced dead 20 minutes ago. I didn’t have time to realized what happned cuase I was immediately golfed into a hug by my friend. I didn’t have time to cry or anything, I had to make sure my mom was save as we drove back to my friends house to drop them off, they were pretty understanding of the situation.. it didn’t hit me until that night when I got back home and got ready for bed, i said i still wanted to go to school, but my whole entire grade asked me to stay home.. so I did.
    Now that it’s been awhile, and 2020 has been absolute hell in so many words, the loss and grief of losing her has caught up to me. I’ve been so focused on keeping my family & friends okay, I havent have time to even think about myself.. i hope if your still reading this that your okay and that we understand what your going threw, we all love and care for you. ��������
    (Edit: before any of you asked she would have been 99 in july)

  • I lost my best friend (march 6 2019 i knew on march 8 2019) my cat died yesterday and i knew right awat
    I haven’t seen any of thier last moments

  • I’m not saying anything because I have no right to but the feeling of death is like knots in your stomach like someone punched you or someone is trying to take out an organ in your body, this feeling I’ve felt a lot last year and it’s coming back to get me again but if your reading this you have to know it’s going to be hard and it will never go away but soon it will get easier till your almost better but you will never completely get better and to those who has lost a loved one just know they passed for a reason and they are in a better place, there not suffering any more, you will meet again and don’t forget they’ve already met someone amazing… YOU — let me know if I’ve made your day a little lighter because dealing with what I’m going through now this made me feel a little better ❤️

  • I can’t remember because I was 7 years old when the fire started. And I lost my mom and a lot of my dad and a little sister and a little brother and I don’t remember most about them I still think could i have done everything to help my dad ��. I might’ve done something but I might not have done a thing that thought

  • I just lost my grand aunt, who helped raise my dad, me and my brother. She was the most selfless person I knew, she always but others’ needs before her own. I find that playing piano helped me but those emotions into “art”. She passed yesterday at only 57 from an unexpected stroke… she was in China while we are in Canada, it pains me that I couldn’t see her at least one last time.

  • Thank you so much Kati Morton. These videos really help me I am going through so much loss at the moment. Again thank you so much. God bless all. ⭐️

  • On February 18th,2018, my Grandmother “Mama” passed away. Over 2 years later on May 31st, 2020, my grandfather “Poppop” passed away, but in less a month, 2 weeks later, today, my grandmother became very sick from liver issues which resulted in dementia. I am only in seventh grade and this have been one of the toughest years of my life. It is still unbelievable that both of my grandparents became very sick, and passed around the same time together. Which makes me appreciate the fact that I grew up with grandparents unlike some other people that I knew. Whoever is reading this god bless you and just know everyone goes through things like this in life.

  • What about when grief comes back? My best friend passed a year and seven months ago. The latter half of 2019 I felt acceptance, I was in a good place with it. This January though I just feel pain again..it’s frustrating because it doesn’t feel okay to talk about it now after so much time.

  • I lost my grandma in February then my dad a month later. Im not doing well at all. Started zoloft but its still early to see the benifits.

  • Am not able to handle Grief. My wife died after the delivery of our first baby. Within hours happiest day of my life turns into saddest. Am not able to believe what just had happened, no way this can happen to us. In my memories our last night is fixed. She was in immense pain holding my hand the whole time asking me for water, doctors told me not to give water. I was kept on crying making her remember she cannot give up on me, making her remember our moments. For a moment she uses to show the strong face and again pain comes to her face. I do not remember anything of her apart for this memory. Not able to sleep or eat. Sometime am not even able to breath. The whole night is kept on running in front of my eyes

  • I’ll never wish this pain on anyone. Sucks. I lost 7 people I loved within the past year and I never lost people in my life like this at all. Trusting to talk to people about it so that it doesn’t debilitate my body. Peace and love

  • Ah, how wonderful that you are back! ❤️ I subscribed to your channel a few months ago and was wondering what happened. This is a really good video and many people can learn from it. Lots of love! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

  • Watched a battle buddy die in basic training after stabbing himself in throat with a pen and ripping it. I held it the best I could and put as much pressure as I could. Watching a 17 year old take his last breath two days into reception. There are days like today where I see the pain in his eyes and make things very hard to grasp.

  • I haven’t lost a loved one but one of my biggest fears is losing my mother or any of my 5 siblings… I hope everyone who has lost a loved one in their life copes..

  • Interesting that they say long term grief activates reward centers of the brain, but they don’t expand on that. More information here: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080620195446.htm

  • This is the price we pay for life. Try take heart from the little things and the wonderful times you had. I’m sorry for your loss. If people don’t understand that’s okay it doesn’t undermine your pain or loss. Whoever you lost would want the best for you and want you to heal. Try doing that for them. Be strong and brave for them. Honour their life by living yours. RIP Smudge my beloved cat.

  • I’m 13 and I woke up today at 6am because I heard my mom crying, I went to their room and saw my dad hugging her, I asked what happend and my mom and dad told that my grandpa passed away, I loved my grandpa so much, and now he is gone, I already miss his voice and laughs and I don’t know will I get over it

    Edit: I came back from his funereal and I cried so much, and I still feel sad

  • “God won’t give you more than you can handle”, “they are in a better place”, and “When God closes a door he will open a window”, these are among the most hated things people said to me at 2 different funerals

  • thanks for this I’m struggling hey…My dad died in 2006 and I’ve never been the same I cannot Transform or evolve feel stuck I’ve lost myself to this world…but I remember I used to paint and I was talented perhaps thats where I can use it to evolve..thank for the video. Grief is love with no place to go…

  • My dad passed away two months ago. I’ve been acting fine on the outside and being normal because I feel like it’s my duty to be strong for my mom. I cry myself to sleep almost every night but no one knows. I don’t want to burden anyone with my feeling or maybe I unconsciously just don’t want to talk about it. I’ve always been a cheery and outgoing person and I still am like that on the outside. But on the inside it hurts so much. It hurts so so much. I’m only thirteen and I feel like I have so much weight on my shoulders. My dad passed away four days before my birthday and not having him there just tore me apart. But I of course kept a strong face for my mom and pretended everything was fine. Thank you for the advice I’m considering keeping a journal

  • I didn’t know how grief feels like so I wrote it down while hoping that someone would tell me how it really feels like.
    https://kahaponpaakogising.wordpress.com/2019/02/22/how-does-grief-feel-like/

  • Man, I am so hard in bargaining stage right now. I’m praying to a god that I don’t even know is there. I’m not religious, but every night I kinda just sit there in bed saying over and over, “I would do anything to bring him back.” I cant even believe its almost a year, I spent it all sleeping and crying. I still wake up, look at the obituary on my nightstand and realize, my best friends dead.

  • Lost my dad, mom and aunt within two years. Aunt actually passed on day we were burying her sister, my mother.
    Being a drug addict, I went to a very dark place in my grief. I was ready to give up on trying until one day I got arrested, sobered up and got help with the real issue of healthy grieving.

    It took their passings for me to be a truly better person taking life each day at face value. It’s been almost 2 years sober but I have gained a coping mechanism that I no longer feel sad about them but celebrate each day the time, wisdom and love they shared with me my whole life.

    Hope someone out there can admit they need help through their grief cause it gets easier doing so!

  • I have lost so many people, it started at 3 yrs old father took me to funeral home, 9, 16, 19, 29, 30, and so on, a laundry list of losses.
    To name some. 3 were self inflicted.
    Aunt (illness), 7 yr old neighbor (best friend) who had Cystic Fibrosis, a 19 yr old friend who asked me to go steady, he died 2 weeks later after partying on his birthday (drug and alcohol), I had declined because we were like brother and sister, eldest sister (SI), coworker (SI), pregnancy stillborn at 6 mos., my Mom 6 mos. after birth of (1st born) daughter, second sister (SI) 10 months after Mom. I think you get the point. A therapist I saw recently asked, “How long ago was this?” with each loss I enumerated.
    Now, I live in a retirement community where deaths are more frequent, but it makes more sense, they are elderly. I have known and still know quite a few Centurians. It still hurts to lose a friend, but it is how we all will end up.
    But, tragic, unexpected always hurts. It really affected my ability to get closer to people. Commitment issues.
    Move on? Get over? Suicide, especially, sends me reeling.
    I can appreciate losses. I went to Survivors of Suicide group therapy.

  • I lost my father last month from COVID and i cry every night. I searched grieving for a loved one and this video came up. Its easier said that done but this put many things into perspective for me. Thank you

  • I lost my mother at the age of 6 & I’m 51 now, I’m just beginning to intentionally start the grieving process. Up until now I’ve lived this life numb & unaware of my feelings \emotions. ��

  • I have been trying for i am almost to the ten year mark of her death and it does not mader we where really young it still hurts so much and i wish the pain would stop

  • My little bird buddy snowman just died and my bird named pip passed a while back. I love you two, can’t wait to see you both again. Rip pip and snowy ❤️��

  • my uncle passed away almost three months ago because of cancer and I still cry myself to sleep everynight, blaming myself because I was not there when he needed it the most. Everytime I go out with my friends they seem always upset because I’m sad and ruining the mood although they don’t say that openly… sometimes I just don’t want to exist or go out to interact with people because it’s so hard to live like this and not being understood, he was a father to me..

  • I’m dealing with the death of my fiancé of 8yrs and 13 yrs all together. He passed from cancer July 17th and it was so fast. He was diagnosed within the last two months. Well it wasn’t a full two months. He was my best friend. It’s feeling like I have no reason to be here. I’m so devastated and hurting. I keep kissing and talking to his photos. I have the picture of him in the casket.. I can’t live without him!

  • I can’t cope my mother died today she had COPD. I feel I could have saved her. I failed her. I can’t cope. I can’t sleep. I am frightened.

  • My grandmother passed away this evening in our house, I feel numb and everything is blurry and unreal, but I expected her death, because she was very weak this week…

  • My cousin is in a deep place right now, and I’m worried that soon they’ll cut it off, even though they haven’t said that. So much is happening that I’m worried it will be too much for them.. I have major anxiety and have been having attacks almost every night because it kicks in “They could be dead right now.. and I wouldn’t know until tomorrow..” I’m so scared and honestly I’m preparing for it by watching these types of videos, I don’t know what to do since I break down when I try to talk to people about my issues and or worries about someone else. Walking up to them and saying “Hey, I know you’re going through a lot right now, you wanna talk about it?” Should be easy, but I just can’t, because I break. I start crying and immediately fall into another anxiety attack. Attacks have been constant lately, and it’s terrifying, I’m honestly just preparing and avoiding. I don’t want to break down with them, or make them feel guilty for worrying me. But I also don’t want to have that constant stress of thinking they could be gone any day.. I don’t know what to do.

  • Great video. What about the process of grief experienced well before the person passes (when you get hit with the realization that it is coming in the next year or so), especially for one already with a depressive disorder?

  • I lost my dad 4 days ago. From then on I am visiting videos that would help me cope. I dont know that one can ever move on. It’s just a lie. You need to accept the fact and live with it. I am even more worried about my mom and little sister, it hurts me see them cry and there is nothing I could do about it. May god give us strength to overcome. And you the one reading this, plz give a hug to ur loved and when they are still around.

  • Thank u I’m bawling my eyes out I lost my best friend who was like a brother/sister she was so unique and sweet we would both help each other with our depression R.I.P Zoey Harkey

  • I watched someone run over my dog right infront of me, they rolled down their window and smiled at me. “NEXT TIME GET YOUR DOG IN BOUNDS! B*TCH” he laughed and drove off. If only I had her on my leash.

  • My grandpa died today from covid and it still doesn’t feel real, I hate this sickness so much. Im so angry at the people who don’t wear their mask or decide not to social distance. He was supposed to see me graduate high school and become and adult and now because of this sickness he’s gone. Everything happened so quickly I don’t understand.

  • Yesterday, my grandfather died in front of me, He was 72 years old. He was sick for about 5/6 months, it was a heart problem. He had cardio vascular bleeding for last 1 month. He struggled all his life for our family. He loved me more than anything.
    I’m in grief and depression although I can’t cry, I don’t know why.
    Pray for him if you can:)
    RIP Humayun Reza (1948-2020)

  • the feeling will remain with you forever if its a loved 1 how can you just forget the times i lodt my dad 2 days after my 5th birthday the way i said goodbye i woke up and my dad was going to my moms house i couldnt go because i wasnt ready, on the train my dad went to the toilet with his bag and died from hes medication i was so sad and now its coming back to me

  • These stages of grief are really sad and I lost my cat:( but now I can create a story about these stages similar to majora mask thanks for helping me find a way to tell people about what I have felt.

  • So yesterday my mom came home and I found out my 3 month old little cousin died it hurts he suffercated he was cold �� it hurts it doesn’t seem real I wish it didn’t happen ��������������������

  • The whole in m6 heart is sooo painful im crying while writing this i just want to hug them again…. i cant stop crying ive been for the past hour im trying not to mwke noise that im crying…i told my mom its hiccups i feel my heart breaking my whole world is falling…i feel empty i feel so so sorrow..i feel so stupid for all the fights we had i just want this pain to go..
    Pps help i cant stop crying it hurts so badly please someone talk to me.. im so tired i havent slept in days bea if u see this i miss u so much i cant HANDLE this pain i miss u to the moon and back i love u. ����������������������

  • 11 years ago I lost my dad at age 6. I’m still grieving. It never goes away, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt as bad. It’s a part of me

  • I’m watching this while looking at the coffin of my grandmother. This is the first time that someone very close to me died and I don’t know what to react. It is like there is a emptiness in my heart and I don’t know how can I recover.

  • I lost my dad, the funniest, Nicest, affectionnate and cultured person of my life on june 8th. I’m 18, and the last 18 years I spent with him were incredible. I will love you forever dad…

  • Finding out my mom was going to die on the day she did was the hardest day of my life. It’s been half a year from then and it still brings me to tears to watch these kinds of videos.

  • I habe got pber a lot pf loss in,y life!! But untill you have lost a child you have no idea!! Child lost is so different. God is what helped me, got to keep on moving forward. Thank you. Gpd bless you

  • i watched this video the night i lost my Poppie, 5 years ago. i still haven’t completely moved on, grief is slow, but steady 6/28/15 ��

  • i have never had a mum or dad i grew up in foster homes and bording schools, i left school on 1986, i am getting old now, and i cant stop crying as i decided to buy a pet rabbit, from the petshop, for myself as a chreistmas present, and mainly for theraputic reasons. i was over joyed to have a companion as i have never been in a relashonship with a girl, and never had a girlfreind, every day i had a reason to get up in the morning, and i told murphy, this is what i decided to call him, i told him that i love him, and one day i decided to get him a freind, who i called dipsy. dipsy was about six months old, and murphy was just over a year. however in them days,i used to sleep on the floor, now i sleep in a chair,and dipsy would ump on top of me to wake me up, it was his way of saying, good morning its a new day,and he was a ha[ppy little bunny., murphy on the other hand was always being naughty and weeing all over dipsy, i tried to figure out what this behaviour was, the vet said he needed spading. one morning when i awoke i found dipsy in the corner of the room just facing the wall, this i thought was odd, so i picked him up and put him in the middle of the room. when i did this, dipsy walkes slowly back to the same corner and facing the wall, and would stay there and not move. when i touched him, he was very hot, quite literally hot, feverish, so i panicked and i paid a freind to drive me to the vets with dipsy. when i got to the vets, about an hour of waiting, they put him on the table to inspect him, and said he had a temperature, the vet said he was hot, but dipsy was feeling very cold.they gave me the bad news and said he was dying, he just stopped eating, i told the vet, and i then broke down, and started to cry my eyes out, i took some final pictures of him, and said goodbye. they put him down. i cant help thinking weather they were being horrible to him, as on the photo, i noticed later on at home, that one of his toe nails had been torn out. i went home and murphy, a very skitish bunny was hiding under the sink, i had to coax him out. i told him dipsy has gone now, all the time, i poured out my greif on murphy by keeping on telling him dipsy has gone, hes gone now, and when i always said dipsys name, murohy somehow knew who i was talking about, he even looked at me when i said his own name. anyway i would spoil murphy with treats, and he knew i was upset and he wasnt sure what was going on, or where dipsy had gone, but over time my deppression, and living with my toxic mental breakdown as i have borderline p.d and p.t.s.d and the death of dipsy eventually made murphy stop eating his food. so again it was off to the vets and they kept him in for a week, i was not happy with the vets they were injecting him with over ten different medications, he only lost his appeetite, and was not eating, so all the injections, i beleived were making him worse, and i truly beleve they were over charging me as i was in so much debt, so i went to the surgeory and picked him up, took him home, and bought him a leash so we could both go for walks. he liked walks, we only went out twice though, we were not together long enough, i realised he was missing dipsy, and with all the injections and my mental health issues he got very sick and i couldnt cope with a sick bunny, the vet bills were piling up, and i could not afford the money for all the unnessary injections,which he did not even need, eventually i had to give him up to the r.c.p.c.a and a man came and picked him up one morning. but looking back in hindsight murphy was well, there was nothing wrong with him, he stopped eating because of me, being sad about losing dipsy made him sad, and all the injectuons he did not need them, they made him sick, and he was just missing dipsy and probably felt the same as i have always felt, wanting companionship, so now i always feel guilty for having murphy euphanised and taken away from me because i was unable to cope,he did not want to go, he was telling me, and now i am always sad, i have never had anyone in my life, i burnred all my bridges when i was younger, i am now a recluse an old man with lots of remorse and regrets. i am diabetic, ashmatic, have two blood clots on my lungs, on mirtazapine, and espranor. i will be dead soon. my biggest regret is not having girlfreinds,relashionships, or even only having sex twice in nearly fifty years ha ha, its losing my murphy and dipsy. there is no life after so i am in limbo until the best day, which i am truly looking forward to comes,and my anhilation, to me is everlasting freedom, from the pains of being stuck inside a rotting piece of flesh. i have lots of pictures but i can not look at them for some reason they make me emotional and i get upset. i wrote this, i thought it would make me feel better, Murphy/Dipsy i will never see you again, but at least, when anhilation arrives,i can forget, and thats all i want, its what i look forward to, and gets me up on my feet for another day. my beleif in sweet anhilation. and total peace from my painful memories. imagine never dying and seeing your mother ugly face for eternity scares the shit out of me.

  • My friend pass away sine child hood
    ,And i keep feel thing about him every day, it feel pain sad lonely and hurt so bad, sometime i didn’t even know how i feel.but thank for your advice it really help full.

  • Thank you for this video <3 3 of my close family members passed away in the space of 5 months recently, I’ve never lost anyone before then. I’m losing lots of friends rn too:/ idk why this is all happening I feel so so lonely:( everyone around me is healing but I can’t go a day without breaking down

  • I lost my son to a car accident. He was 25. I am not getting better. I see no way I can live with this kind of pain. I have tried everything. I still try to find a way to bring him home. That makes me sound crazy. I think there should be free therapy for parents going through the sudden loss of their child. It’s too much to deal with.

  • My dad didn’t pass but he had a traumatic brain injury and I don’t know if he’ll ever be the same he can’t move or talk so it’s like he’s just there not doing anything I might not ever hear his voice again

  • The night I lost my dog I stared at my shotgun in the corner of my room thinking it’ll be quick no pain thank God I fell asleep that night

  • So hard to grieve with my family cuz they keep talking about God and I’m an atheist so it doesn’t really make me feel better.

  • I just lost my dad 2 weeks ago and I miss him so much when my mom died 13 YRS ago and my older brother 4 years ago I miss them all

  • For the past few months my grandma has been getting worse health wise. She was never particularly healthy prior to the quarantine but all these weeks of inactivity have had their tole and I worry that I won’t have her for much longer. I came here to sort of prepare myself for the inevitable

  • My father died of cancer yesterday. It’s not like we all didn’t see this coming, but I miss him more than ever and I can’t help but wonder what could have saved him. Is there something else we could have done? We are still trying to find a way to tell my four year old sister what happened to her dad. Times are so hard right now.

  • Not just companionship is key but distraction is also key.
    Best thing to do is have an active life, go out and find things to do that involve interacting with people. Do anything to distract yourself, focus on something. You only really grieve a loss if you’re stuck alone for many hours left to think about them.

  • My grandma died yesterday and she was everything to me she took care of me at a young age she was like my mom and I can’t believe she’s gone

  • I didn’t lose a family member, or a friend, but someone that made content that I enjoyed. That person would be Nimblz. I know a lot of people are dealing with grief over his death as well, and I hope we can get through it.

  • I lost my girlfriend to cancer/chemotherapy…. she died between Dec 22nd and Feb 4th. I figured out she died when middle of January came and she didn’t call me. I knew if she was alive, she would have called me by then. It was sad, but that sad yet. My mom told me, “maybe she just still in the hospital… maybe she’s still doing chemo. Or maybe she just couldn’t get a phone card yet.” (she was in the Philipines) Still thought my girlfriend was dead because she would have called me, BUT I was hoping my mom was right. Feb came I asked my mom if I should ask, “my gf is dead isn’t she?” and my mom said, “no. Just ask, how is she doing?” So Feb 4th I asked my gf’s sister, “How is (my gf’s name) doing?” No response. Her sister messages me back almost instantly. So I knew something was up.

    Then a week went by and still no reply on the text. I thought, “yup, she’s dead.” Was sad, but was able to move on. BUT here’s where it got bad…

    March 5th, my gf’s sister finally texted me back saying, “Sorry I didn’t respond. I’ll call you later today after 5.” Five o’clock came, nothing. Then six o’clock, then it was almost 7, so that’s when I texted, “(GF’s name, is dead isn’t she?” her sister said, “Yes. I’m sorry.”

    THAT’S when I felt the major pain, grief, and agony. One thing to figure it out and it’s a whole different thing to have it CONFIRMED. With figuring it out; there’s still that tiny piece of thin thread you can hold onto hoping that you were wrong.

  • It’s so nice to see you again, Ria. You’ve been in my thoughts often since hearing about your losses. It’s good to know you’re getting the love & support you need to adjust to these new changes. Thank you for making this video. It was very helpful & comforting. ��������

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  • Dearest Ria,
    I am so glad you are back. Could totally connect to every word you spoke. I am 28 years old. My father is close to 70 and has high BP and heart disorders. My mother is diabetic for the past twenty nine years. I see that her health is deteriorating. I am scared everyday of my life that I might loose them soon. My parents are my world. I am scared of that inevitable day, Ria. May almighty give you all stregth to withstand your loss. Take care. My prayers are with you.

  • Thank you. I lost my husband 1/12 years ago. It took me 14 months before I felt happy again. He had been ill for years. Even though I felt it an honor to care for him, I felt relief when he passed which caused me to feel guilt. I was 6 weeks before I cried. The social worker said I was feeling, Caregiver burnout followed by caregiver guilt. I had wonderful support. After I settled my affairs, I left the state and stayed by my daughter for 5 months. She had 2 little girls whose child like cheerfulness helped immensely.

  • Should I be concerned that so many of your videos are directly applicable to my life in one way or another?
    Considering the overall subject matter… mental health I probably should be concerned. Darn it

  • My mom passed away six months ago. I still feel so anguished, exhausted, I’m basically disabled by my grief. I’m in bed, wishing I could sleep through this, crying. Idk what to do right now to ease this pain. Seems
    Like there’s no way out of it. But I’ll keep trying. I’m just so frustrated and lonely. And sad.

  • Taking out about the matter is the first step as said in this video is also one of the basics in stop worrying and start living book

  • My kitten died last night we had to put her to sleep she had cancer and anemia the vet said with all the money in the world we probably couldn’t fix her and I was listening to my mom talk to the vet when she said if pebbles was my own I would put her to sleep I hugged my dog and just broke out in tears the poor thing deserved a longer life 10 months is too short I remember my last words to her “I love you pebbles I will always remember you, don’t worry my baby you will be pain free soon” I love her so much I’m crying righting this I just keep thinking of how her life was too short but she was always happy and had a good home. I miss her I know how all of you guys feel. God Bless.��������❤️❤️❤️

  • What if I still cant look at mementos… is that denial? Is that just something that passes? I can t be happy about it even tho I know it was right… I miss him too much

  • I just lost one of my dogs suddenly.. and it was hard, much harder than previous pets. I truly thought she would get better, but she never did. She was only 4 years old. There are still times I think about her and I just break down and cry. You’re right about the fact the people don’t understand. My dad never even called me or asked me how I was doing when he saw what happened. The people you think would understand and be there just aren’t…

  • Thank you. My grandma passed away on 4/2/20. She was suffering from kidney failure. I miss her so much. Helping my mom clean up the house is hard sometimes, and seeing my grandma’s car out in the front. It really hits you.

  • Hello Ria, I am so sorry for the loss of your parents, especially you being so young. Thank you so much for this video because it has helped me so much! I just lost my sweet mama on May 24th unexpectedly. My mama was my dearest and best friend and I just don’t know how to do life without her. My Dad is really having a hard time being they were together for almost 64 years. Like you said I’ve lost grandparents but I wasn’t real close to them so losing my mama was so close and is so very hard. I am so disappointed in people that I thought for sure would be right my side and be there for myself, my dad, and my young adult children but weren’t, how do you deal with the disappointments? I’m trying not to be bitter especially because I thought for sure my in-laws would be right there especially my MIL because she is next in line to be a mother since mine is gone.
    Hang in there and I’m so sorry for the loss of you father and your sweet cat. Life is a challenge sometimes but we have to keep going forward don’t we?!��

  • Today I’m here because I lost my bestfriend 3 days ago, we been friend for 7 years. Thank you for this video, it does make me feel better. But does deleting his photo/video help?

  • Welcome back Ria, we’ve missed you, but we certainly understand. So sorry for your loss. I can relate because I lost my dad this year on April 9th and also because of Covid-19, I want

  • Ria I am so sorry for your losses.:'( I cried with you. You are a very inspiring woman and I truly believe that the people we love and lost, do live through us in some ways. You have helped me so much through your educational videos in controlling anxiety, eating better and smarter and my well being overall. I am so thankfull. You deserve so much love, harmony and peace in your life! You were strong enough to deal with such great losses and to my eyes you are nothing less than a hero for still being you, doing you. I am 35 years old, not married yet and still living with my parents who they are dealing with a number of health problems. I am hurt to see them getting weaker and weaker every day, no matter how much I help them and my support system is very very limited in case something really bad happens. This video was extremely helpful. Thank you! Best wishes to you. <3

  • Hi Ria, welcome back to YouTube. I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting this video. While I haven’t been through the same level of grief as you have, I will definitely take the things you’ve said in this video and reference it in the future.

  • Sorry for your loss.. I’m sure many of us can understand. It was a great video… I know that a lot of us just brush our feelings when we feel grief and realise that it’s buried deep within us and can erupt anytime… It’s always good to let yourself feel it and get help if needed.. it’s nothing to be ashamed off..
    Yes, loosing pets is something else.. many don’t understand it.. I had cried for a whole week just because I had to give away my dog… Can’t think of loosing him.
    Writing and art are always helpful. I think it helps us process the emotion better so that we can come back to everyday life faster.

  • Hi Ria, it’s so good to see you back. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

    My friend, whose mom died wrote this: “This morning marks my two-year journey with grief. Some days are ok, others are “how am I even doing this?” We come to an arrangement with grief. It walks beside us; not in front of us to dominate our future, nor behind us to push us down. But it’s always at arm’s length.”

    ❤️

  • My dearest mother passed away in May of 2019…..and to be honest I am not the person I was. The Grief is overwhelming and palpable. I lost my brother in 2016. I do however sometimes feel that in my world, husband, friends, coworkers etc do not understand the deep grief that I feel. I also was ok initially……but now I just can’t seem to get out of my own way. I am trying I really am but it is so difficult. Losing her is on my mind 24/7…..she is in the moments I wake for a brief few moments in the middle on the night. I honestly do not feel I will ever move forward….I am stuck. I am also very sorry for your recent losses…..so sad. I have pets and have lost many and it is never easy.

  • Hi Kati! This year has been really rough for me. I lost my grandma on my mom’s side, my great aunt on my mom’s side, my uncle on my mom’s side, and just recently my grandma on my dad’s side. I haven’t really grieved the loss of my recent grandma passing away. The day she died I cried and this past Friday I cried too. I don’t really think I’ve accepted it yet and I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow but I don’t really want to talk about it cause I have a feeling I’m going to be super emotional.

  • That was a beautiful video.I know it must have been difficult to make.But I know it’s help me so I’m sure it has helped others.Sorry for your losses.

  • Hi Ria. I really missed you and I truly appreciate this video. My uncle is really ill with stage 4 cancer. I’ve been avoiding my family because I just don’t know how to deal with his illness and his inevitable death. I don’t know what to say or do. The last time I called him, I just cried profusely and told him the line was bad. I haven’t called him since. I haven’t called my cousins or aunt either. Although death is part of life, I don’t know how to deal with it…
    I am really sorry for your losses. You have a very healthy mindset and supportive people around you. And I pray you will get through this in the best way possible.x.

  • Hi Rea! I am deeply sorry for your loss! And I completely understand you, my cat passed away in April this year so I agree with you that pet loss is really hard. I’m definitely going to try to make a memory box for my cat. Sending you a lot of hugs and positive vibes. Take care. ❤️

  • Grief is chaotic it does not happen or come in stages. That is a common misconception/misunderstanding. It is not linear. ‘An all over the shop experience’ (Coping with grief)

  • My rabbit passed away this morning,all I’m gonna miss is touching his small furry head and giving him kisses.. I didn’t get to say goodbye.��

  • Very well done and personal video. I am sure it will help many people. Loss isn’t just about people or pets either, it can be about anything. Even just our routines. 2020 and this ongoing pandemic has many people grieving various types of losses. Your video is very timely. My deepest sympathies on your losses. ❤️

  • Thank you for posting this. It’s so difficult to talk about something so personal like grief and loss. I hope it is tiny consolation to know you are helping others. I’m someone who stuffs feelings down. I suspect maybe it’s causing long term depression. I know it’s actually very weak not to be able to feel your grief fully.

    Anyways, I’m so for your pain and loss. I hope your healing continues. Thank you for your video. Here is a ��!

  • I’ve never actually felt grief from the death of a person but a few months ago my Macbook broke, I could barely afford a repair or a new one, and i felt devasted. I loved my Macbook more than anything, to me it wasn’t a meaningless material want, it was an endless source of knowledge, a way to conveniently and neatly store literally all my thoughts, and a means of self-expression and finding a voice. Tears fall on my phone as I write this. I am a heavy-writing logophile who writes, like, loads and loads and loads. And since my Macbook’s death, I had to write everything by hand, or at least type it on my phone. Everything was scattered everywhere. Bedroom, classroom, office, phone. I wish I could easily assemble it all, it would be very useful as an ambitious songwriter who wants to form a band soon. Almost every night I have recurring dreams of my Macbook working. I want a new Macbook, like, right this picosecond, I don’t want to live such a bitter, spiceless life anymore.

  • Welcome back Ria, thank you for making this video to share with others how they too can deal with grief in a healthy way by having outlets and support. Keep up the good work!

  • Dear RIA, so sorry for your loss. I’m 62 and I still cry like a baby when I lose somebody I love. My heart breaks, but I recover and begin to incorporate the grief I feel into my life. Even in the depths of grief you and I can find an enduring love, and that is what we are all made from. Hugs from me to everyone who is struggling to come to terms with loss. Xxx

  • Sorry for your loss. I understand. My mother died in a car crash and my father died 2 yrs later ( he had cancer)on his last trip to italy. It was difficult. That is exactly what I felt, an overwhelming sense of sadness. But it did get better. I spk of them all the time. They are still part of my life in memories. It will get better….in time. ⛅☀️

  • I lost my Mum (8 months since her diagnosis of Pancreatic Cancer) on May 1. I cannot describe the relief I felt watching this… for so many reasons. Thankyou thankyou thankyou.

  • Sharing w my friend who lost her husband suddenly! Thanks for sharing! I have lost both parents and your video helped me a lot! ❤️ to you as you grieve!

  • Heartbreaking ������ how do you deal with this pain? I can’t even watch the video because this feeling so overwhelming, can’t concentrate. ����

  • Worse than going through grief is being born into a degenerate bloodline of drunk zombies who love their pleasures more than you. Spongebob squarepants is no replacement for a father. I will never forgive my mother and I will never forgive the Catholic church which enabled her dysfunctional life with black magic and manipulation.

  • I lost my aunt last night. I can’t imagine losing my parents. Your NOT ALONE. It will be ok there in a better place. There always with you now. I’ve been depressed ever since because the day before she died I didn’t go over to her house for some reason. I’m so sorry Rene. R.I.P Rene Shapiro august, 5, 2020

  • School starts in a few weeks and something happened to my friend and I don’t know how to go about it either do I bring it up or stay quiet, I’m scared that if I bring it up I’ll get teary when it’s happened to my friend but not me there’s a chance he might get mad or sad, I feel so bad for him, my friend ��

  • Beautiful changes will soon take place on earth! Psalms 37:9-11,29; Revelation 21:4,5; Daniel 2:44 and then this amazing blessing will occur, John 5:28,29. Please read what Jesus said about his friend Lazarus at John 11:11-14, 43,44. Now please read Jesus’s promise to us once again at John 5:28,29. Believe? Isaiah 55:11; Psalms 83:18.

  • My mother’s death was in 2994j, the day before Thanksgiving. It took me years to reach the last stage of grief-acceptance. It was last November 2019! I was in anger and depression for a very long time. Now I have to help my best friend with her grief of losing her husband after a serious auto accident, It’s not easy for me to see her in such pain and it’s bringing back feelings of my mother’s death. I think I might suggest that she go and talk to my therapist about it because she’s really hurting.

  • Hey. Didn’t ever think I would be here in this kind of comment section but. Here it is. My mom passed a month ago and, it wasn’t Covid, we still don’t know tho. And. I was already on a spiritual journey about a year before. And loosing my mom gave me my “ spiritual enlightenment “. If anyone understands what I mean. I was already taking care of my lil sister and my own daughter Before (I’m 22). And when I step back and look at the universe, I had to see that everything added up and happened for a reason. I accept her body is not here. But too many situations add up to her soul is not gone. We still see her in our new house, my lil sisters dreams are on point with conversation and the time of 4:44 ( guardian Angel time & happened to be her favorite number). So all this to say, when you find “ A New Normal “ after a loss, you will always have triggers in life that effects your moods. Having positive affirmations help a lot. And when you realize what we Believe as “ Time” doesn’t exist, we are all in one with the spirit world. You have to practice vibrating highly to Tap in to that side. Then you have a guardian Angel For life. I hope I made Somone feel a little better! Peace ☮️ �� ��

  • When I realized this horrible cycle don’t stop I felt like I was being tortured. The longer it keeps going around the more I just want to be done I’m so tired

  • I’ve never succeeded at finding any acceptable “sense” in our loss and the kind of person he was makes it even harder. He lived by the olive branch (of peace and for it) and he died by the sword? There’s no way to put how he lived when he was here with how he left this world, and the only I can do is what another family member (of another 9/11 victim) said: We choose to remember how he lived when he was in this world, not how he left it.”
    But it’s not a perfect plan and I have no defense against the release (on semantics of the English language) of one of his killers.

  • I lost my pet mouse, just a day ago. I cried, so much. I feel like i’m crying and feeling so guilty about it to much.
    A day later, still, if I sit, lay, look at, touch something, or remember him, I completly break down in tears.
    I feel like it’s my fault. I am so. sad.
    I buired him, and I am still so sad.
    The thing is, he was very very sick when I got him, and I thought I could handle him, but apparenly not. He was only a week old, I did everything I could, but then he died.
    I only had him 3 days, before he died. I am so sad, though, I don’t know how i’m so attached only after 3 days.
    He was just, so adorable.

  • When I took my babies ashes to the top of the mountain to spread their ashes I put their ashes in a plastic container and spread their ashes…I burned the plastic bag they were in and their urns on top of the mountain and put water in the plastic container I carried them in up in to the mountain and swooshed water around in the container and drank the remaining ashes, their dust. I love my babies, constantly dream about them, I wish I died with them.

  • The main problem is calling depression sadness and then making the correlation with grief. Depression is NOT sadness. You can be emotionless, irritable and grumpy when depressed and feel no sadness at all. Sadness about something is NOT depression. Generalised sadness that pervades your life and makes you dysfunctional and has no known source or cause in your life, that may be a major depressive disorder… or maybe your whole life is sad! Circumstantial pain is also NOT depression.

  • I have watched this video several times and recommended it to others in some of the groups I belong to on Facebook. I lost my wife of 40-years on Feb. 3, 2015, to complications of Diabetes. I get the moving on. I have also spent so many years, buried in my own grief and pain from severe abuse as a child. I get it. I made the conscious choice to move forward with my life. I was in counseling for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and CPTSD. The doctors kept saying, “Moving On.” I about walked out. When they asked me what was wrong, I told them the difference between Moving On vs. Moving Forward. Interestingly, they changed their method and began using the Moving Forward in their sessions.
    Have I found love in my life again? No, yet I know it will be there. My late wife will always be with me, and I would not want to change that for anything. My life has changed. The abuses from childhood forced me to become someone I never was, yet I played the game. I was a lost, frustrated gay boy, closeted, and buried deep inside me. My late wife knew this and gave me her blessing to come out. I am still working on finding that lost gay boy, and keeping my heart open for love. Thank you, Nora, for this video.

  • You are amazing ❣️ I cryed through the whole thing
    In the last 4 years I have lost 5 loved ones
    I don’t comment much I hate typing texts
    You are extremely precious to me and brave doing these videos i cherish love admire adore you �������� and your huge heart ❤️ for helping people I’m the luckiest girl in the world to learn from you I relate �� thanks for your precious help Kati love love love you ��❤️ Nik �� a girl from Western Australia ���� Perth �� WA ������������ ����������������

  • Thank u so much for this video! It’s very helpful. I just realized I’m still grieving my aunt who passed away 4 years ago! Imagine it was already 4 years. I thought already accpedted it 2 years ago but then, this coronavirus came and it forced us to remember things we never actually remember in a normal basis… To think I never moved on yet…

  • My Great Great Grandmama passed last month on saturday 28th of March and i am still greiving and i am hurting and processing and i have.nt cried since my Great Great Grandmama passed away but i am crying in the inside but i know that Great Great Grandmama is looking down on all of us RIP to Great Great Grandmama is it normal not to cry
    I know that my Great Great Grandmama will never ever be forgotton may ypu continue to RIP

    May you continue to be loved ��������������������������������������������

  • I think I ve gone through this one year ago. It was hard for me to deal with the grief, I was not capable to let it out and express is, maybe because of the reasons mentioned in this Video. In this time I went to a christian therapy and they probably didn’t knew how to help me to let it out, I didn’t even knew that something like “sabotaging” your own grief is possible. I am planing on leaving the church and the therapysts. although a long time has passed and I am much better, I feel like wanting to grief more and to deal with my sadness. Should I just leave the past or should I try to let it out, even if a long time has passed?

    I have a idea for a new video too. Maybe you could speak about the harm and danger of therapists who aren’t that Aware and good, maybe you could also talk about how to deal with them

  • Could these stages apply to a break up or other forms of loss other than death, or is this process specific to the loss of a loved one?

  • My dad died a month ago from pancreatic cancer 7 months from diagnosis. He was 51. Thank you I really need a therapist and will set up with one.

  • My grandma passed away a few hours ago. At that moment I just got home from work and my sis called me to inform me that my grandma was dead. I was shocked, so much impact that my brain suddenly became lifeless for a few minutes. I laid on the bed, thinking about moments of me and my grandma, looking through our pictures in my phone while thinking what happened.
    My parents later told me that she only had a stomachache, but somehow the pain became really intense and she passed away. She’s 95 years old. Anyway thank you for the video, it helps me get through this a lot. Respect for you ����

  • My mom just died and I see the way I cause myself emotional pain. I second guess myself on what I could have done differently.

    Then, I realized that I am not able to see everything I am a limited human being.

    I have no super powers and I am not psychic. I could not have performed a miracle

    It helps but there are many assaults like this

    Your video on complicated grieving was a big help.

    I have a better chance of getting through this now.

  • I lost my other cousin when he was 30 in December. I was attached to him growing up I’m 15 and this loss made my world come crashing down I’m still learning how to accept this. This is the first death in the family that really hit me and that I could clearly remember. It hurts I miss him so much

  • Kill the five stages of grief. Forget about it because it puts an unrealistic expectation on the bereaved and they often think that they are grieving “wrong”.

  • I’m watching this for my dog I haven’t lost him yet but he has cancer and he’s suffering from it and we are going to haft to take him in soon I really just don’t know how to feel I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want him to suffer I’m in a really bad place right now

  • Even if no one reads this I really need to say this since I want to tell someone but I just don’t trust anyone. I lost my dad 2 years ago due to a stroke when he was 52 when I was 10 almost 11 and I was much more closer to him than my mom we shared so many of the same interests and hobbies. I wasn’t able to talk to him once we arrived too late but I’m so glad that the day or two before I went to lunch with him and I remover talking about football with him since I didn’t really understand it. I know people grieve differently but my mom never seems to express that she’s sad. I don’t understand how someone can go from loving someone for so long and when they die, just move on. She got a new boyfriend a year ago and as much as I’m ok with him and I want her to be happy, it makes me question just how you can love someone for so long and seem to move on like nothing happened it just makes me wonder what true love is and if it exist. And what were to happen if she somehow met her current fiancé when my dad was alive. It annoys me how they sleep in the same bed even though there not married and haven’t even told my dads side of the family that they are engaged.I also like to lock my door because it’s my only since of security and the only place I feel free to cry but my mom wants to rip down my door which I’d feel even closer to becoming depressed. My mind right now is a mess my heart hurts as I’m crying on my bed in the dark righting this not being heard by anyone. I don’t like any therapist I’ve tried enough to know that’s not what I need to help me. I wish I could meet another 13 year old girl who reacts the same way as me so we could talk and just help each other but all the groups/camps I went to were already with weird people and no one I could relate too. Tonight I’ll probably cry myself myself to sleep it’s been the most tears I’ve had for a while

  • My mother died when I was twelve almost four years ago and she told me before she died that she would always been in my heart and never forget me but if I’m honest I loose hope and think she’s not looking down on me because I don’t get signs. I miss her touch. It’s been over a thousand days, cancer is horrible and should be the one that’s killed

  • This has helped me a lot!

    I just put the question up on my PC what is it that is keeping me from processing grief and a flow of stuff came out.

    Then I used some cognitive therapy questions to challenge them and I thought I was healed.

    but I see that this is repetitive and I just repeat the process so that my brain knows that I am not kidding and I am serious about this and I think I’m going to be okay

  • I the last 4 months my 3 unlces and one aunt passed away and i was really sad but i tried to get over it but that didn’t work I just let it all out and i feel like im at peace and now i just cry every once in awhile and thats helps.

  • Sorry for your losses. �� I lost my grandpa to Covid-19 about a week ago. & It has been very difficult on my family & I as it’s a very unique situation. I now see a therapist who recommended what you shared, & the Grief Recovery program & book, which has been really helpful for me with previous losses.

  • Great discussion just also wanted to mention that you’ll probably want to correct your misspelling of the word trauma (you wrote truama) in the potential causes note that appears on the screen 😉

  • I’m sorry for your loss. I was touched watching this video. I lost my grandfather last year, and in 2014, I lost my dog Nick ��. Your video is sure to help many people across the world. Greetings from Brazil ��

  • About 4 months ago I lost the one person Icould really connected to, he is alive, he just doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I thought I couldnt lose anything more but the other day we had to put one of my dogs down and the other one has no idea yet and they are siblings and have never been apart for more then a few hours. I just can’t stand existing anymore. Everything I see makes me think of him and I can’t stop hurting and crying. She didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. I was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes forever and when I close my eyes at night, all I can see is him looking at me kinda confused and out of it. And I can see his body go limp and then list of things he will never do again or get to experience fill my mind until I cry and scream for hours. I can’t make myself eat or drink. So tired of loosing people and feeling this way. Just want him back. But he never is coming back…never ever. And everytime that realization hits, I feel like my heart is being broken all over again and my lungs are being stepped on. And I’ll never get to give him one of those pupacino at Starbucks, or bring him to my college dorm. I’ll never get to walk him again or see him sitting backwards on our outdoor furniture. Hell never hide away from people in my room with me again and there is nothing I can do to change that or go back in time to experience it all again. I’m stuck like this and there will never be a way out.

  • I’m 17 months into my grief and I made this channel to dedicate to the loss of my daughter. I hope to help and support those who are grieving

  • My wife, the most gorgeous human being i have ever met in my life, passed away in the morning hours of 12th April 2020. It was so shocking and unexpected. Its been four weeks and I’m still trying to recover from trauma. She was 35. She left me with two beautiful angels, our daughters (5 and 1) who give me the reason to move forward. She was such a pure, kind and loving person, but the universal powers were so cruel to take her away from us so unfairly.
    I truly love her so much. If not for my daughters I would’ve joined her by now. I’m sooo broken and I can’t (and will not be able to) make up my mind fully, but I know I have to move forward for the sake of our daughters. I love you Rajee and I miss you so much. Please stay where ever you are, in peace, I will raise our daughters to become who you wanted them to be and join you when they are ready to let me go.

  • lmao…last spring semester a grandparent of mine was slowly dying and i kept asking God to give me the pain instead or to kill me off instead. It was also academically super stressful and i had to pull all nighterse like once a week. I ended up getting a D in a class i had to pull all the all nighters for and when i was hundreds of miles away from home during the summer for work that grandparent died and I was all alone. Life’s a bitch.

  • Ria, I understand. I loss my cat suddenly. He got liver cancer. I got him after loosing my father and we had such a special bond. He was my baby. It took me so long to accept his loss. I didn’t want to process my dad’s death. So when my cat died it all hit! I lost my mom a year and a half ago and I wrote on paper how I felt and still do. It’s hard. All I could think of was her illness and watching her suffer. Journaling does help. I pray that God continues to comfort you as he is doing for me. ����❤️

  • I love how authentic you are, Katie. As a Fellow Therapist, I completely agree about the importance of therapists seeking therapy. So crucial:)

  • My granpa just passed away
    I was very close with my granpa
    and i remember delivering food when he was at the hospital
    And saying goodbye for the last time…
    I can’t forget him
    Just can’t

  • Thanks for sharing an amazing video Katie..it was very powerful. Your videos make my life so much easier.

    Also, I found a Ted Talk on dealing with unpleasant emotions (especially grief), and it talks about riding the 90 second waves of emotions. I used the technique personally and it helped me deal with grief in a profound way. Hope you find it useful. (Link below)
    https://youtu.be/EKy19WzkPxE
    Thanks again for creating the awesome life saving content. Stay blessed!

    Sincerely,
    Gagandeep Singh

  • I searched this cause my dad is going to die soon. His name is Thomas Michael “Wade” Wilson. He has cirrhosis and diabetes. Hes 70. He was born on Oct. 26, 1949 (scorpio) in Ohio and got a bachelors in creative writing and english lit. Hes traveled all around central america and southeast asia. Hes a wonderful generous intelligent gentle kind-hearted tough and wise soul who loves his daughter! Me! �� please God give me 1 more year with him I’m begging you please. Amen.

  • My father passed away 5 years ago but whenever Christmas starts getting here I just feel dead again..right now having a mental breakdown (,:

  • I just lost my favorite cousin, my heart is broken and I’ve been crying on and off since 8pm yesterday. It’s not 6:30pm the next day and the grief hasn’t subsided.. I want her back guys ������ this is so hard

  • my fear of a death of a loved one is:
    never talking to them again for a LONG time
    and also seeing them this is kinda why
    i dont fear death

  • TW for suicide, eating disorders, self-injury, sibling death, and dysfunctional families. I’m sharing my story for the sake of giving an example of complicated grief (for which I am currently in therapy).
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    So, I’ll start off by apologizing because this will be a lot of info, but I do think my story is a perfect example of complicated grief. To start off, you’ll need to understand a bit about me, first. Throughout my life, my family has been extremely dysfunctional, manipulative, unemotional and unavailable, and ‘perfect’. Around age 9, I began to develop an eating disorder. At age 12, I was ready to die. By age 14, I’d begun using the eating disorder and self-injury as coping mechanisms for the ‘perfect family’ life I was supposed to be living. I got no validation from my parents, my brother was always ‘better’ than I was, and my issues compounded upon each other until I reached a point where at age 19 I was hospitalized. The year after I had to leave college because of my hospitalization and mental health problems, I reentered college and everything was looking up and my eating disorder, self-injury, and mental health were more under control and doing better (after lots and lots of therapy). Then, only 2 months into my freshman year of college, my brother committed suicide while my parents were attending my college recital, the week after Thanksgiving.

    When I heard the news, I went into shock. I didn’t react, I didn’t cry or scream or freak outI had no emotion whatsoever. It was almost as if the person I had been was immediately removed from my body and I was floating through time and space. I thought that I had to be the strong one for my family, the one who didn’t cry and the one who helped to plan everything. I thought that it was my fault my brother died because my parents were with me instead of with him. I thought it was my fault he committed suicide because he had never been given the same amount of attention that I had always been given regarding mental health. Everything that happened with his death was obviously my fault. Within one week of my brother’s death, I simultaneously got my life together on the outside and fell to pieces on the inside. My eating disorder returned, worse than it had ever been, and the self-injury was viciousI had gotten sooooo triggered by his death and no can only associate the suicide with my own mental health problems. I wanted to exchange places with him. I did not cry about my brother’s suicide until THREE MONTHS after it happened, and even then I did so alone, in my room, sobbing over my computer as I looked at his photo. After I cried once, I never did so again. I finished up college despite my seriously declining mental health and started my life afterward.

    It has been 7 years now since my brother committed suicide. I have not processed his death, what happened at his funeral, how my best friend stopped talking to me within 2 weeks after he died, how I feel about having to be the rock for my familyI have not processed any of it for the sake of maintaining that ‘perfect’ image of life that my parents are so incredibly proud of right now. In terms of complicated grief, it has been an extremely traumatic experience that is combined with my previously existing mental health conditions, the loss of my closest and dearest friend, and a great multitude of life changes. For me, my brother’s death is interwoven very tightly into my other mental health issues as well as the dysfunctional family dynamic that exists at home. I do not even want to hear my brother’s name, nor do I want to discuss him at all, ever, with my family. Thanksgiving and every other holiday is a nightmare, I am still struggling with the eating disorder and self-injury, and I have yet to let go of the facade of a ‘perfect’ family. Complicated grief…is my life.

    I know this was a lot to read and very sad, so if you’ve read this and found value in my example of the topic of the video then it was worth posting. Also, don’t worryI’m currently working through all of this (and more) with an excellent therapist.:)

  • Everyone is sharing their story, so I feel obliged to share amongst you all if that’s okay.

    I recently due to therapy discovered that I was living in a toxic household that has been negatively affecting me my entire life. I had a dog that was basically my everything. My comfort, my happiness, my peace. Whenever there was a fight, or an issue, I would go to him, and we would both be scared but we would be calm together, if that makes sense. He would even LITERALLY smile whenever I got home or spoke to him really sweetly. So long story short(er), he couldnt get up one day while being very old so we had to take him in. As I said, this dog meant SO much to me. But instead of being able to say goodbye and sit down next to him, I had to comfort my parents. My Mom was a mess, crying uncontrollably before we even got him to the vet. I was calm. I felt I needed to be for my dog and my parents. Once he had passed, it was right around the time of COVID breaking out worldwide and the USA was going to shut down and we weren’t sure if we would be able to get Chatter’s (my dog) ashes. I had to call the vet myself, which I have a hard time making calls already, ask them if I could still get him, and then when they said yes and I told my parents I was going to get him no matter what and if they wanted to come now was their chance, they both stayed home. So I went to pick up my sweetheart’s ashes with only my boyfriend. No family. No parents. I’m thankful for him of course but I needed more. Now, months later, and I’m crying daily. I now get that it’s because I felt forced into taking care of everything that was going on that I didnt get to really get MY time with MY dog. To say goodbye. And of course it’s all inflamed even more so because he was a DOG. So its REALLY hard to get it across to people how freaking insanely painful this is for me and I often feel judged or guilty FOR my pain. You’ve helped me realize ALL of this leading to me experiencing complicated grief. So thank you so much Kati. Thank you thank you thank you. I no longer can afford therapy so videos online are all that I have to go off of. I will work to heal this infected wound now that I have identified it.

  • To cope with the pain of losing a loved one, we need hope! Jesus gives us hope, he knows the pain of death, losing a loved one. He experienced 6 he death of a dear friend. Let’s consider his encouraging words. John 11:11-14, 43,44……..Lazarus heard Jesus voice and came out of the tomb, out of death! Please read how our loved ones will one day soon hear that same Beautiful voive….John 5:28,29. Very soon great changes will take place on earth: Psalms 37:9-11,29; Revelation 21:4,5; Daniel 2:44 and then……John 5:28,29! Do you believe God’s Word? Isaiah 55:11; Psalms 83:18.

  • I lost the cat that I love so much. Yes, its only a pet but the pain for me is much bigger compared to when my grandma and granpa died.

    I remember when we rescued him and he was just a little kitten and all the memories keep replaying on my head. I cant stop crying

  • Painful unexpected Divorce also falls under this category and “Moving on” is heard constantly. I have never felt that kind of pain. I would have preferred that he had died. At the least I would have known he had loved me still then.

  • That is a great idea to write a letter or put your feelings in a journal Ria. When I lost my brother and mom,I waited a couple of day’s,then I took a box of Kleenex in the bedroom,told my husband I need to be alone for awhile,and bawled like a baby for a couple of hours. Then when no more tears would come,I took a long hot shower,which to me symbolized,”the end” of the initial mourning process. Although there we’re many more time’s I got sad, I had less and less of those time’s,and they got milder each time. It’s true that “time heals”. Now I am able to look back on all the good memories with them.

  • As the prime caregiver to my Mom who had dementia, the grief of losing her came long before her actual demise. Grief is a black hole you descend into, and slowly, very slowly, work your way out of only with time. It’s excruciatingly exhausting.

  • I lost my dad in January, my grandpa on my best friends birthday, and my grandma on july 3rdall this year… and I feel completely homesick without them. Sometimes it feels like itll be impossible to get over it or get through it

  • hi katie, i know this is an old video and you might not see this but i have a video topic/question. i’m 14 and i haven’t lost anyone close to me but on march 15th 2019 my dance teacher past away. he was more than a dance teacher he was a mentor and a man i spent more time with that my own dad. he taught me life lessons and shaped me as a person. i was broken hearted anytime i think about him or see pictures or memories from around that time, it was so dark. but i am still crying and heat broken every night. i can’t breathe from crying and i miss him so much. can you do a video with how to deal with old greif or maybe a better title i don’t know how to word it. but just dealing with a loss a while later. thank you!! also i don’t feel like reading this over so sorry if i had misspells or it doesn’t make sense

  • My dog has cancer and she’s been with me and my son for almost ten years. She’s part of our family. While she’s been sick I lost both of my parents within two months of each other. Grief has been so hard because my parents were my life and helped me raise my son

  • What do you do when your BF of two years wants to just be friends after losing both his grandfather and father in less than three months? He told me he doesn’t know if we’ll be together again..:(

  • I lost my dad, and then three months later I lost my brother it was a year ago yesterday that my brother passed away and I’m having such a hard time. Thank you for videos like these. I have so much anxiety I feel like I’m going to snap and go crazy and it scares me and makes me question my own mortality which makes me feel selfish, all these weird feelings I’ve never experienced before, panic attacks every single day. It’s really hard but I just keep telling myself it will get better. So to everyone this too shall pass and we will all get through it

  • Its only been 10 months since my grandmother died and 4 years since my mother passed. Lots of things happened afterwards such selling house and me having to find a place to live (I was her at home caregiver). In the last two weeks I’ve been lashing out and I feel ashamed. My mind has had time to relax and the grief gets triggered by the most simple things. I apologize but it also takes me awhile to gather my thoughts to correct my behavior, something I’ve never struggled with before. Not having that sounding board or just having someone to talk to who understood me better than my parents feels crushing, especially now that there are incoming life changes again. I’m all over the place.

  • 7 weeks ago yesterday one of my classmates died from an accidental bicycle accident. I never talked to him but I had seen him around school several times. He was one of the popular kids and everyone was affected. I still think about him a lot and I have learned to move on from this tragedy, but a lot of my friends were close w him. I think I might still be in denial that he’s actually gone. but I know he’s gone, I just don’t really know what I’m feeling.. like although I didn’t know him at all, it still makes me sad. and he was only 15:(

  • This video sucks. I don’t resonate with a single thing this woman is saying… firstly I never went through the “stages” certainly not in that order. I just felt and still do feel pure sadness, pain, love and just missing my father. Also therapy doesn’t work for everyone. For me, it’s being in nature, floating, processing on my own, certain music and just talking to my dad in hopes that he is listening.

  • Welcome back Ria! Glad to see you again. I had a very bad relationship with my mom and when she passed away, I had a hard time processing that and also what had happened to me as well. It went bad for more than a year until i talked to a therapist

  • Your Pryda was my Andromeda. Very, very special cat!! Also the lose of my dog was extremely hard. Animals are with you every day and the unconditional love you receive from them is unlike anything else. I’ve had a couple other cats that I had to put down, but I was there with them which helped me a lot. I know some people don’t want to be there, but for me it was very helpful to know I was there for them and they felt my love for them when they passed. With Andy and my dog I was not able, for different reasons, to be with them, so getting over their passing was much more difficult. I still consider the day I lost Andy to be one of the worst days of my life. That may sound overly dramatic, but there were extenuating circumstances that added to the whole terrible day. I grew up with animals my whole life. The only time I didn’t have an animal in the same house with me was in college and for about a year and a half after losing what was then my last cat. This was after a three year period of losing an animal a year, so I needed a break. I now have another cat who’s been with me for about 9 years. Losing an animal is extremely difficult and not everyone gets just how hard it can be, but having an animal in your life, however briefly, is so worth the pain because the joy they bring lasts so much longer.

  • I loved him and he loved me yet we never got to actually date and I have peace knowing that he loved me just as much as I loved him. ❤️ He died literally in early July and I am emotionally shattered. One day my spirit will be with him again.

  • I lost my partner of 18 years over 14 months ago & I’m still feeling anger & bitterness. I’ve managed to push everyone away with it and Im really scared I’m never going to move on. What should I do??

  • I just lost my dog a week ago. First one I have lost who I loved… I grieved before she was even gone too because we had to put her down.:( 2007-2019 <3 So, still hard with out my dog...

  • This past December I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my 26 year old son. He was living in FL at the time with his best friend and his 2 and half year old son from a long term relationship that didn’t work out and she left him. It was the most devastating and painful feeling I have ever felt in my life! At first it seemed like I was handling the loss normally but then something changed. I was unable to get out of bed for days at a time. I felt lost and hopeless and all I wanted to do was to go be with my son. I stopped eating /drinking regularly. Life held no meaning to me anymore. My birthday was 2 days before Patrick’s death and we had video chatted for about an hour making plans for me to move down there to be closer to him and Ryan. I was happy and excited about my new future in FL! Then two nights later the police called to tell me my son was dead. I felt that not only had I just lost my son but I also felt like my entire future died with him. Three weeks later my stepfather died after being very ill for the past 2 years. A few weeks after that I suffered a stroke.I knew something was going on with me but I couldn’t figure out what it was besides my grief and depression. It actually was this video that caused me to call my PCP. She increased the dose of my anti-depressant which helped. I also went back to see my psychologist who I have been seeing on and off for 20 years. She confirmed it seened to her that I was suffering from complicated grief. That was just last week and I am scheduled for another session with her on Tuesday. So ty for making this video and alerting me that I may be suffering from complicated grief.

  • I think I’m dealing with complicated grief my family had 3 murders within 4 months during this time we had 4 other deaths while at the same time my old man bike duck was cut durning surgery long story short he died within a year and half with liver failure right after his death my son got locked up for cruelty to children and I can’t see my 5 month old grandson and can lose my son to prison he out on ankle monitor but taking things out on me both of my kids during anger said I should have been the one to die plus I’m bipolar and my therapist want see me because I don’t have 150 dollars for missed appointment some time I wish it would have been me to die to

  • Impacted grief is behind so so so many of the world’s and society’s problems. I found this talk just so perfect and am so grateful to the presenter. I am going to ask a few friends to experience this. Sorry if my name icon comes up 2x. Some sort of computer glitch with we don’t know how to fix.

  • I lost my dad on the 19th August. I was with him in the morning just laughing and joking and the same night my mum rang to say he had passed. I miss him deeply. I miss him. That’s what is hurting the most

  • Today marks 3 months since my grandma passed. She was like my mother… the pain never leaves and the tears are still coming down. Never had to deal with death before and this is so unreal. Wish 2020 never happened

  • I found my mother after she passed away today, and needless to say it was the hardest thing i’ve ever gone through. She was on hospice care for all of two weeks after being discharged from the hospital to come home. This video definitely helped me understand the road i’ll be going down for a while. Thanks Kati!

  • At 2am yesterday my grandma had a heart attack, they brought her back but she isn’t herself. She’s on life support at the moment, tomorrow they’ll take her off life support to see if she can actually live or not. It doesn’t look good at all, I have no hope. All I can do right now is pray to God, but I believe it is her time.

    Rest In Piece Nana, we will remember you while you fly with your beautiful wings in heaven. We love you, and you are with us in our hearts. It’s not fair that you left us this early, but life isn’t fair. Don’t let our suffering tear you, we just want you here. And by sprit, you will always be with us.

  • Grief is tough. I’ve lost many people in my life (Mom, Dad and brother). There is no moving on from loss, but there is moving in a direction of moving with it. I still cry. I still miss them. I still wish they were back in my life, but I move through it during the day. Be honest with your feelings. Don’t try to put on a brave face. Talk about it with someone who understands. I have a little support group who has also lost someone they loved. Try doing that. It does help.

  • My grandma died today she was so happy yesterday im having a mini panic atact it so hard to feel this pain she told me that she will maybe be on my birthday home.I miss her so much❤

  • My dog passed away years ago. The grief didn’t hit me until 2 years later, I was in denial for 2 years. I know losing a dog isn’t the same as losing a human, but she was my best friend and I still miss her so much.

  • Dawg my uncle just past this morning we where talking story and everything then he got a heart attack I hope he’s at peace ��������

  • My great grandma passed yesterday at almost 81 years old. I don’t know if I will even be able to go to her funeral. We didn’t always see eye to eye but I miss her so much. Rest in peace, grandma, I love you ❤️

  • thanks i really needed this, someone who used to babysit me when i was little passed away today and i feel horrible because i was really young and i remember some memories with her

  • i lost my dad when i was 18/19 here is his story
    my father was diagnosed with stage four cancer, in May of 2016. The cancer was in remission thanks to chemotherapy. Then in December my dad was diagnosed with heart failure, and was scheduled for a triple bypass when he was diagnosed w/ heart failure he was forced to stop chemo in February, When we had a large snow storm the operation was postponed till March 23rd.
    On March 23rd, we packed up everything and traveled to New York City where my father had his operation one of my dad’s coworkers was nice enough to let my mother and I stay at her apartment, while my dad recovered. We ended up staying two weeks, all the while I had school work to do every day as I emailed all of my teachers letting them know what was happening. After multiple complications and a gallbladder removal my dad was thought to be well enough to go home.
    Upon returning home I went back to school and life was basically back to normal, but that was not meant to be. In April dad ended up back in the Kingston hospital ER then Father was transferred back to the New York City hospital and stayed there I was once again missing school so I tried to get as much work as I could done. I convinced my Us government teacher that by staying by my dad’s side I was earning community service hours as it meet with all of the requirements And he accepted my request, so I locked in a total of 57 hours the requirement was twenty. At that time he started to decline and was diagnosed with acute kidney failure he was brought home on Saturday I was still making up work.
    On Sunday April 23rd 2017 my dad died and I pronounced him at 3:30 PM. I then returned to school. I am so glad that I went back.
    in this part i am going to tell you to the best of my memory of what happened to my dad medically unlike the other story there is no personal stuff (sorry for any spelling errors):
    here are the gross details as best remembered starting March 23 he had a triple heart by pass operation and about 3 days after he began to look jaundice the Drs. did a number of tests to check his liver the results came back that his liver was okay so the Docs thought he had gall stones but after some more tests they found that his gallbladder was failing the Drs. removed his gallbladder and put a stent in to drain the bile that had built up. he recovered well from that. (So just so you understand March 23 he had a triple heart by pass operation which is a large operation and he had some time to recover and then in the same week he had his gallbladder removed.)
    he was discharged about two weeks after both operations. he seemed to improve.Some time in April dad was okay. he then became very weak and was vomiting pure bile( he would continue to vomit pure bile till the very minute before he died because of the blocked stent) he also had a low grade fever and could not climb up the stairs to the bedrooms so mom called 911 and he was taken to the closest hospital he stayed there for about 2 weeks during that time the Drs. thought the stent where his gallbladder had been was clogged and they tried to remove it but failed Drs said that dad should go to the place that he got the stent in the first place. so in the middle of the night he was transfered WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE back to NYC.
    the Drs said that they tried to remove it but mom and i think he was experimented on after the operation the nurses asked about his mental status which of corse alarmed my mom after about 2 hours he finally woke up. he remained at new York presbyterian Columbia for at least a week and developed a rectal bleed then there was blood in his urine he also had severely swollen ankles the nurses placed a foley cathader to help him the ran some tests and that is when they found that his kidneys were failing so they adjusted the IVs so that less would end up in his feet the final blow came when the cancer came back and at that time he wanted to go home because he knew that this would be fatal.on Friday i noted that he was aggressive i then googled the symptoms of dying and aggression is a signs of death at one point he tried to take out his catheter. i then noted that his color was changing he was still vomiting bile.he started to show more sighs of death. ( the Drs said that he may not survive the 100mile trip home )
    he was brought home on Friday night alive and by Saturday his breathing was now a pronounced rattle and there were pauses in between each breath he was still vomiting bile. he survived the night his sister (my aunt Chrissy ) watched him.
    Sunday came and he was still alive and completely conscious his breathing was now a pronounced rattle and there were very long pauses in between each breath he was still vomiting bile. at about a minute or so he said to mom “i cant do this ” and she said “then don’t” and that is when he lost his pulse and he stopped breathing and went unconscious and died. The time was 3:25 my mom told me at 3:30PM and that is when I pronounced him.

  • i lost my grandfather today. i hope my father wont pass away early because i’m not ready to handle the grief that i can only imagine about.

  • If your going through a hard time with a love one being lost.I want you know they would want you to be happy and enjoy life. I know I’m just someone from the Internet but I’m real person who makes mistakes and has some bad and good but I real and I care. Stay safe ❤️ and enjoy life cause u never know.

  • My first friend, my best friend since we were 1, passed away today. He was only 13, I feel so terrible. He was amazing at art but quit because of Covid for some reason. He was found 5:30AM this morning.

    Love you Rey, it feels so unreal and unbelievable.

    8-19-20

  • I lost my childhood friend. He’s always been sick but it still hurts. He died last year and me and my friends don’t talk about it anymore so we don’t have to feel the pain but I can’t do it anymore

  • My family just lost are baby chicken that was 10 days old. My sister is very sad so I’m glad to come across this video and reading the other comments. She is crying as i write this��

  • I lost my mom march 1st and it still feels so unreal to me I will miss her so much she was just 41 and I just turned 18 I have 2 little brothers 8 and 5����

  • my nan passed away in march from cancer and im still not over it because she always looked after me and my siblings like she would take us to school when my parents were at work and also take us on holiday:( i miss you nan ��❤️

  • I have been looking and looking since 2006 when my father died to be able to talk with someone, to be validated to explore my sadness… nothing, not one person/therapist has helped. This video is the closest to being acknowledged that I have

  • I lost my father figure and mom due to the covid-19. I send love and prayers who have also lost loved one’God has a plan he has exepted the in heaven and they are watching over you❤

  • A friend of mine passed away ago at the age of 13, in a car accident. His older sister, age 23, was also killed after their car crash and caught on fire. It happened in February 2019. My heart still aches like crazy. I miss him so much! My heart use still completely shatterd.

  • My friend has been missing for four days and i just found out that they found him but not alive. I feel almost guilty, I wish I could’ve done something before that could’ve prevented it. He was only 17 years old. I don’t know who to talk to. Everything feels so surreal

  • I lost my Mum 14 weeks ago today and I still sit and cry every single night.I still can’t really take in that she is gone.I can relate to every single person on this comments.Grief hit me like a brick wall.Hitting 40 and still cry like a baby boy.I miss my Mum so much.Thoughts with you all.

  • It’s been 5 months since I lost someone extremely close to me. He was like an older brother to me. Ever since then my life has completely changed and I’m totally lost.

  • Thanks for this video…I lost my fiance to Covid in early April. I talk to him still every night b4 I fall asleep. I write journals to him weekly. I listen to our favorite songs. It does help me along in the process.

  • Last month, I lost my beloved wife of 30 years. We were inseparable 24 hours a day because we were cross country truckers. She died suddenly from blood clots. She was my whole world!!! The title of this video is “HOW” to deal with grief but you never tell us how!!! You just listed the 5 stages without giving any advice or recommendations to “HOW TO DEAL” with Grief.

  • Mum an dad both passed within 24 hours,5 years ago,then a while later my aunt,then my father in law and a year after him my wife,just 58 a week before she passed.
    Life fucking sucks!
    My life is improving,happier with much greater respect for everybody and everything

  • I lost my horse in may, i know it sounds stupid but that horse saved my life and I can’t get over the fact that he’s gone. He was the one thing that made me actually happy and I still don’t know what to do with myself

  • Lost my cat last night, I have 2 bigger cats who always gave the littler one extra aggressiveness because he was new. About a month after, we got the one who passed, they bonded immediately and became best friends. Now I see him lying on his grave or calling for him in the woods.

  • I have lost both of my siblings, less than two months apart from each other. I am just here, cause I don’t feel like I am handling it well at all. I don’t know what to do, and it hurts so much, it’s an unbearable pain.

  • Lost my friend to Cancer but she was a strong fighter and an amazing person, she will forever be in my heart even if i cant accept that she is fully gone������

  • I have recently lost a 6 week old kitten to a very gruesome death. He was half eaten. A friendly stray cat had a litter in our backyard, and I was trying my best to care for them given the circumstances of the house I am living in isn’t mine. I feel I made silent promise between myself and an animal. A promise that meant I was suppose to protect them and keep them safe from all harm, and I feel like a failure. I can’t stop feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt. I spent almost 4 hours everyday with these kittens. I bottle fed them, played with them, and talked with them. I feel it is wrong for me to grieve the life of something that may have been small in comparison to a human. But these kittens truly felt like my babies. I recently surrendered the rest of them to a local animal sanctuary/foster home. Tomorrow I’m bringing the mom over to the sanctuary to be reunited with her babies. I hope I gave them the next blest thing they all deserve.

  • Thank you. Just lost my Mom, and had to go to discuss funeral arrangements today. Anger, Guilt and Brain Fog issues keep popping up. I miss my best friend. I’m her only child. This is rough.

  • We lost our dad a few months ago and I saw my brothers and my mom deal with them in so many ways

    My older brother dealt with by anger

    My middle brother started having separation anxiety and started going everywhere with my mom

    My youngest brother talked about it more

    And last but not least myself. It took my mind to catch up with my body. I’m my mind he was still there and it took a hard toll when my mind started catching up and I now cuddle his clothes at night. Remember it’s ok with how you deal with loss, there’s no silly way.

  • Hi, Kati. I know you posted this video 6 years ago and I hope you see this because I feel like I have a really great idea for a video. A few days ago I found out that an amazing young woman I met in in-patient eating disorder treatment passed away due to complications of anorexia. It was also her 23rd birthday. I have been so unbelievably sad and feel like I have gone through a few of the stages of grief already, including anger. The other day I felt so angry and fired up and motivated to do something to spread ED awareness. Yesterday, I seemed to be okay because I was really busy, but today I feel like I am just so sad and barely holding it together. I’m really surprised by how this loss is affecting me. I only knew Becca for a short time and I didn’t really keep in contact with her after I was discharged from IP treatment. I feel really bad about that, but I also have social phobia, so I tend to avoid socializing. I witnessed her struggle via her posts on Facebook, and I actually had to do a 30 day snooze on her posts because I found it kinda triggering to see how much she was struggling and how unwell she was beginning to look. I am grateful that I am finally at at point in my recovery that I feel like I am really doing well, feeling free from most of the ED thoughts and even feeling comfortable in my skin for the first time in my life! It’s amazing being able to reach this point. Anywho, today, I am just feeling so sad and keeping wondering why I have reached a breakthrough in my recovery, while my friend didn’t. She was just one of the sweetest, most beautiful, positive souls I have ever met. She was only 17 years old, but she was the one person who was always trying to help and cheer everyone else on while we were at treatment. She was just such an incredibly smart and compassionate young woman who truly inspired me. I have found myself thinking about her often. I think that’s why this loss has been hitting me so hard. How does someone deal with this type of loss and accept that some people just cannot recover from their illness even with all the treatment and support around them? It just seems so unfair. And what can I do to raise awareness about eating disorders and help to prevent other amazing people from getting caught in this devastating illness and ultimately losing their lives to it? Is there anything I can do to make a difference? I would really love to use all of the strong emotions I’m feeling over the loss of Rebecca to do some good. I know that’s what she would’ve wanted. Thank you. Keep on fighting, everyone. ❤

  • Thank you for this video! I’ve created a framework to help others move through grief. I believe that no one should have to grieve alone. I did and I don’t recommend it!

  • I lost my beloved parrot who was more like my own son
    My heart is broken and the saddest thing was i wasn’t there with him when he died

  • its like my tears are dried and sometimes i have to push back my tears of blood in front of people..but only Allaah knows my pain..

  • My older brother died August 10 2020 it was suicide over a girl they were talking and the girls mom wouldn’t let him see her and they were gonna talk but her mom wouldn’t let them talk so he shot himself in the head but there still looking Into it they don’t know if he did it of somebody else. He moved out 4 days before the accident he said bye over video and message but nobody thought he would die it’s not like him to do that he picked up a gun the day before the suicide thank you for reading he was 22 years old

  • My baby, Abigail Hope, was born on February 22, 2020 with no heartbeat. She was only five days away from her due date. I will never ever be able to “move on” from what happened to her… I will always love her and miss her. Sometimes I can bear it… other times (like now) the pain is crushing. I fully know I will always hurt for her. It may develop into a constant dull ache with bouts of emotion… but it’s never going to leave me. I have comfort knowing she is in heaven. But will miss her until I get to meet her again.

  • Been there. Been through that. I find acceptance to be the only thing that works. Everything else is useless, unproductive emotions and wastes of time. Perhaps I think this way because I am a person who has habitually suppressed emotions since I was very young. I only care about results, and obtaining them right away. Venting, crying, regretting, meditating, etc., do NOT accomplish anything. A bottle of whiskey is what I prefer to clear out my mind and as soon as I sober up again, I immediately jump on any tasks that have to be done. Getting shit done is the only “coping” that works for me.

  • I lost my sister/sister in law (but she was my sister.) She was only 18 years old and a few days away from her 19th birthday. I already dealt with depression, anxiety, recovering from an eating disorder. Now I feel so heartbroken and lost. I miss her so much. I just want to see her again. I want more hugs, I want to see her beautiful contagious smile, I miss her kind soul. I miss every single thing about her. Every day and night ive been having panic attacks and still can’t believe this is real. I cannot believe I wont see her again during holidays, visits, hangout etc. I miss you so fricken much sweet angel. Until we meet again. I love you so much.

  • It actually is very uncomfortable. I just don’t know what to say to anyone who is grieving. It really is such a huge unimaginable loss. People go through such terrible things throughout their life and are still expected to simply just move on and leave that part behind. Just because people who haven’t been through anything like that are uncomfortable talking about just like me. ����
    I am sorry for such unfortunate events in your life.

  • My aunt passed last week she brought me up as a baby she became ill in later life I became her caregiver so we lived together just the two of us for almost 32 years, I feel very blank last few days.

  • My son just lost his best friend to suicide. She jumped off an I-65 overpass. I have known that family since 1980. This girl was intellectual, sweet, and beautiful. She had so much to live for. Another young person, who I watched grow up, committed suicide in the very same manner. He was a young, successful attorney.
    It is still so surreal to me. It’s like I have not processed it yet. If anyone that I am close to ever dies under mysterious circumstances, then I will be the number one suspect. I am so stoic for a time. When my parents died it took me months to wrap my head around it. I am an only child. Don’t know if that has anything to do with it or not. I once had a therapist who asked me why I never cried. I do. When I am at home. I cry until I am dehydrated.

  • I’ve never lost anyone before or knew how sad it was to lose someone but today I just found out that my mothers brother past away even if I never knew him because he lived far away from us and I’m only 13 it took a big tole on my mom who knew him her whole life and to lose another brother must her hurt so much and I dint know how to help her an anyway I just saw her sobbing and I couldn’t help to cry even tho I didn’t know him he must have ment to much to her I just feel so sad and I hope that for everyone who reads this knows that the person who passed away must had felt to much love for you and got to at least know such a great and beautiful person I love you all and hope that you all fell well and better I know that I have no idea what pain your going threw but know that they loved you❤️

  • My mom just died out of nowhere about 2 weeks ago. I was out of town at work, working night shift, and woke up in the evening to a phone call from my sister, crying with the simple words “mom died.” I’ve went through the grieving process with my Dad, it’s sad that death is a business. The funeral home, the burial, the estate. Once all that process was done, and there was nothing left on my checklist. I went through a dark time of depression, so dark that words can’t describe it. Holding my gun to my head just sitting I front of the mirror for hours. They say mirrors are portals to another world, and my house felt so heavy. There was always a dark presence around me. I’m a musician, and while mixing a song, my sister walked through the door; normally she would come up to me, and she ran away. Saying there was a giant dark figure standing behind me, it was guiding me. My Dad died staring in my eyes, I only saw my mom the last time the funeral home let us see her. She was so cold. I knew instantly that we’re souls, and our bodies are only a vessel. I’m worried that I’m handling her death so well, even though there’s a small grief there, I’m moving on with my life as normal. I can’t place why. Anyway, it was nice to write this out, even if no one reads this.

  • My grandfather passed away a few hours ago (07/08/20), it was due to natural causes. This is so sad, it seemed like he was recovering from what he suffered. He was a gentleman and he cared about his family, he was a good person. I regret not spending so much time with him lately. Wherever you are now, rest in peace my grandfather, I send you a hug, I love you very much, I will always remember you.

  • What can you do if can’t figure out where you are in the process? The reason I ask is that I lost both of my grandparents and I am not sure what I am going through

  • When caregivingbefore they die, you want the suffering to end and In that sense, when they die it can be relieving, but at the Same Time, if you were Really close and Loved them Dearly, it is still Agony…it’s like the Worst Hurt Imaginable, while also being a relief…

  • dear Lord Jehovah I pray to you that you bring some comfort and peace to those that are mourning in their times of grief, I pray that you help and heal them… in your holy sons name, Jesus Christ amen….

  • Thanks for the insight Kati. I recently figured out that I’ve been experiencing a type of complicated grief. Glad to know I’m not alone and I’ve been reaching out to family members more now.

  • I already learned from this video the 1st time I was dealing with complicated grief. My main issue was I am a strong person & I was beating myself up for things I could have changed. Why I did or did not do this… what was wrong with me? I know now I was out of myself due to shock & fear. I’m journalling & other things now thanks to Kati. My therapist dumped me without warning when she knew I was turning 65 & soon to be on a Medicare plan. I don’t trust another at this point but will try eventually �� My problem now is apparently my family has decided 6 months is long enough although I realized 2 months ago that they were no longer asking how I was especially with the holidays. It was okay (?) with me because I am getting by. I no longer have out of control emotions & have good friends who check on me as we normally would anyway. I would love to see a video on others who decide for you what’s best for you. I journaled about it yesterday got angry & really want them out of my life. You cannot help who your family is but you certainly can create a new one.����
    I know I sound very bitter. Well, it was a bitter pill.

  • Very very soon great changes will take place and no one will say “I am sick”. Isaiah 33:24. But first these things must take place. Psalms 37:9-11,29; Revelation 21:4,5; Daniel 2:44; John 5:28,29. We are living in the “last days” of wickedness and soon beautiful changes will take place on earth. Isaiah 55:11; Psalms 83:18.

  • It’s my 7th week of feeling nothing and emptiness. This episode is the heavier since my breakdown in 2018. Back then. I did not know anything. However, after 2.5 year of therapy, I still experience the same intensity. I can’t pinpoint why. I just feel numb. Any pleasurable activities such as eating food feels like a chore.

    I have a good job, a good social circle. My life is not pefect but I would say it is pretty comfortable. It is frustrating to figure out what makes me feel numb when everything surrounds me feel great.

    Watching this video reminds me of my childhood where my parents dont fulfill my emotional needs. I cant get angry to them because it is a waste of time. I just work on my own, find a life of my own.

    Now I am in that stage where I completely living a life that I want to live. Yet, I havent spent time to grief the loss of parental role that I crave. I denied it and pushed it away in order to work hard and achieve my dream.

    I did cry a lot watching this video. The memories come back and those are painful. These painful feeling is much better than feeling numb. Thanks for the video. I will work on this with my therapist.

  • I found my step father dead yesterday, at first i was very emotional and now i feel nothing. I dont know whats happening but it doesnt feel right, i was very close to him so i should be a mess right?

  • What about complicated grief that’s not about someone actually dieing but grief about something that’s died or was stolen that you can’t get back? A lot of what you’re saying is very relatable to another form of loss.

  • My boyfriend passed accidentally, he was abusive sometimes not always. I don’t think I processed the abuse so now I’m so depressed missing him and feeling like I’ll never have answers to all the whys and the need to apologize that maybe it was my fault he was triggered and lashed out at me or projected on me from his childhood trauma and abuse.

  • My mom passed away in February 2019 at 95. I have moments when I’m down in the dumps and have crying spells. My dad passed away in July 1995 at 85. I miss him too. But, I took care of my mom during the last 5 years of her life. I had home health care nurses and assistants, helping me out, which was a big help for me! I’m forever grateful that I’m retired and was able to spend a great deal of my quality time with my mom!! I’ll love her and miss her forever!!!������������������

  • Drinking and smoking are the only things that work for me. No effort required. Just pour a flask and light up… Do not believe the virtue signalers when they look down upon “vices”. They WORK. That is why any ban on tobacco or alcohol CAN and WILL cause real civil disturbance and possibly a violent coup against any government that tries. If you need a bottle of whiskey or a cigarette/cigar, do not hesitate, go for it. As long as you manage your intake and moderate your consumption of these items, you are good to go…

  • This is really relevant to me. Thank you so much for posting! So much makes sense. I think I have issues of this kind related to my death anxiety.

  • Is this a joke? You’re a trained professional and don’t even know the stages of grief off by heart? Your energy is erratic and there is nothing calming about you. You’re in the wrong field. Go be a lawyer.

  • My dog passed away yesterday after hour of suffering. I loved him more than anything in the world. He was getting sick and sick again and again. I can’t stop myself,Am just crying and crying. I feel like i don’t want to live anymore.
    No one is supportive, can’t talk to anyone.
    16-08-20

  • I lost my mom 16 years ago and then my stepmom (who was also my moms best friend from jr high) 6 months ago. My therapist just explained to me that this is a type of complicated grief. We are in the beginning stages of working through these losses and dealing with some of the unresolved emotions related to losing my biological mom. Thanks for this video!

  • People tell me to forget my children. My children don’t speak to me because of their father. My children are not some people in the past that I can put aside. My children are a part of me, and they are here in this moment with me even if they are not aware of it. I never forget them. Some people would call that grief, and it is, but it is a good grief, because by not letting go, I make them real, and some day that will pay off, I know it will. By wishing them real, they will become real. I will keep that in my heart until it becomes real. That is my forward.

  • I am an only child, and when i lost my dad and two years later my mom, i was looking at my phone and realized i will be the only one left in our group chat room. I continued to pay for my mom’s cell phone bill so she does not leave the room. Few months later, when the company knew she no longer resided in the place that was set as her place of residence, they cancelled her account and her id in the chat room switched to ‘unknown’. I completely broke down that day.

  • My boyfriend’s best friend (who I was also friends with) very very recently killed him self, and I completely stopped my grieving process to help my bf grief and be there for him. Now I feel that I don’t have the right to grief him, because I didn’t know him well. I’m also angry because he has brought on so much pain to everyone who loved him. I feel numb, but I also feel so much and everything is confusing

  • Thank you for this, I lost my mom almost 2 months ago, I’m still suffering in pain and regrets, i love her so much, She was a great mother at all, I am so thankful to GOD for our Happy Memories. It was difficult to realize that she wasn’t at your side anymore�� I was praying for my recovery and for my family.. Again thank you for these��

  • I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to this podcast just in the past couple of months. it makes me tear up every time, but i can’t help but feel a connection to the talk that helps me understand that i can move forward without completely leaving the past in the past

  • Death is inevitable for everyone it’s best to accept it and to be happy they were in your life for as long as they were, your loved ones wouldn’t want to see you sad they would want you to be happy that they were there.

  • A year on from my dads death I’ve found this video as I’ve been struggling I cared for my dads for ten years due to strokes he finally past last april 11th and he died of kidney failure and pneumonia I have a strong feeling of guilt I couldn’t prevent his death as I had before I feel selfish for feeling like this coz its wrecking my home life this video has helped me loads identifying a lot of points to work on and get help for thank you for doing this video

  • During March 2019 there was a fire in our house while we were all away and it killed both of our dogs. It was, as you can imagine, really an unexpected and traumatic experience. I didn’t allow myself the time to actually go through the loss of my pets because we had many consequences to face after this, we had to move and live in a tiny apartment for over a year while handling other forms of stress and I didn’t think I “deserved” the space to grieve because it seemed like such a trivial matter from the outside. I didn’t even tell most of my friends about it. But the truth is that I still miss them more than anything else. We have two cats which I love really much, but I can’t form with them the same kind of relationship I had with my dogs. I think I probably should find someone to talk to about this.

  • I was under the understanding that the stages of grief eas actually for the person who was dealing with death themselves and where grieving from the death sentence…

  • Personally, I think acceptance is the easiest part. The hardest part is to move on from all of the memories and past you share with that person. My best friend passed away 3 months ago. I have accepted the fact after 3 days, but those memories and flashback and the “habit” drown me. It’s overwhelming that the person I talk to, make fun of every day is no longer there. It hurts like hell.

  • hi I’m here cos I’m sad I accidentally put the wrong book in the donation pile and now I don’t have my favourite childhood book…

  • What about the grief of taking care of a progressively mentally ill son knowing it isn’t getting better. Still having to take care of the sick person without having the skills to know how to weather the demands and terror of regular emergencies of his inability to make safe choices. My precious beautiful son, with bright shiny eyes and joyful disposition who began to withdraw around age 10
    until being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at age 19. He is 45. I am 72
    The rest of our family has cut us off. Taking care of my precious son without support from family or anyone as he progressively sinks into dangerous delusions. I just cant listen to your cute rapid quips about complicated grief. I just get mad listening to your “tricky” ideas of grief. My grief increases as I am unable to meet the needs of my son or find adequate medical help for him. I am exhausted. I need help. I cannot find it.

  • Hi kati, I lost my auntie eileen last week, she was like my counsellor, the person I’d always talk to whenever I was upset or having a hard time being a mother, she was always there for me, and would visit me every month, now that she’s gone I have no one to help me or make my anxiety go away like she did. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do ��������

  • My father in law passed away almost three years ago. He was married to my mother-in-law for almost 53 years. She has steadily declined since. We have taken her to a psychiatrist, where he gave her some presciptions that seemed to help her for about 7 months, but now she has sank once again. She refuses therapy, touting it costs too much. We have offered to pay for it, but she doesn’t want to seek someone to talk to that could help her through the grief. She also lost a child by accident when the child was 12 years old, but never sought counseling/therapy. That was in the 1980’s, it’s been that long. She doesn’t want to eat, she lives in worry and fear. It’s very difficult to watch and deal with just trying to keep her alive. We are at a loss.

  • Just lost my grandad suddenly. I’m also in Australia, he died back home in the UK. Never got to say any final words or see him. The last time I saw him was two years ago. I can’t afford to go to his funeral. We were incredibly close both being musicians. Can’t describe my pain.

  • thank you so much, im 18 years old. a few weeks ago my grandmother died and whilst it hurt. losing my dad two years ago was agonising he was the best dad ever i have dyspraxia which means my co-ordination is slihhtly worse and he was amazing he took time to help me with so much stuff. not only was he amazing like that but also when i was sick or upset or having a tough time with schoo. he’d always be there for advice or a hug, watching him waste away with bowel cancer was excruciating i spent a week in my room crying. because i was remebering loqds of memories but also coming to terms with the fact id never see him again. i was also massively in demial for about six months it was only when i woke up on my 17th birthday and went into my pearents room and realised i wasnt going to hear him say happy bitthday to me. i sunk down on my knees and cried. becuase i knew he was never coming back.

  • I have a question. I understand the basic definition, but what if a person has a trauma that causes personality change and that person grieves the loss of their personality in a way that seems like complicated grief? They even talk about their personality as a “beautiful” person for whom they yearn.

  • This kind of grief is so much harder to overcome. It comes out of nowhere and really can interrupt you ability to work through them

  • This helps a lot. I lost my dad I’m 2016 then my first husband in 2018 and then my fiancé June 10, 2019. It’s been crippling on top of the persistent abuse and stress from my job of over 20 years. I’m not healing at all. Life sucks and I’m so sad most of the time. I feel it physically too. This is so hard.

  • Lacking the authority Usually appropriate to a teacher,especially of psychology but she said so much which made me believe she understood the subject.
    It’s taken me 19 years to look up ‘complicated grief’.I just don’t know why it’s taken me this amount of time.

  • Really good info but you talk so fast its hard to keep up, espec when taking notes, so i stop it and go back.
    in the past 14 months a) Father died b)Step mom died c)my only brother died. d)going thru nasty divorce e)losses of family relationships due to ex wife badmouthing gossiping f) lost $150,000 inheritance due to ex wife influencing step mom to hate me and take me out of the will
    there is more but its overwhelming. My therapist never gives me enough time in a session to even communicate what I am feeling, we only have an hour, therefore here I am trying to diagnose myself and heal myself.

  • i’ve been watching this & watching this & reminding myself of the lessons she shares over & over this past month. i recently came across the TEDRadio interview that included her, and came across this today. even though this talk is about the passing of your person, i’ve been going through the loss of someone who i thought was my person… my first heartbreak. i know this is in no way comparable to death, but i believe there’s still a level of grief and loss that comes along with your first heartbreak. i still love him with all my heart, but i’m learning how to move forward with what i have left of him now.

  • I still grieve for my father who died almost 5 years ago. My stepmother gave away all his stuff and kept his ashes and she disappeared from our family. She has her family hide her from us. I want some part of him and she keeps that from us and I know I’ll never get anything of him. All I have are pictures. I can’t seem to stop the hate that pops up with the loss.

  • I lost the love of my life/best friend last year, on dec 31. He was in another country. We broke up because I became a Christian and he wasn’t ready. I remarried to stop myself from going back. The marriage to this new guy was a disaster. My ex was amazing, loved me to death. Literally. Pined and eventually he stopped eating, sent me letters and songs which I never read/heard. He ended up leaving to another country that I frequently visit. Eventually I separated w my husband (he was emotionally abusive).
    At one point I ended up going to that country where my ex was, to record some music, he was there, as usual making the world spin for me. We weren’t intimate again, but we hugged and kissed and it was like before I wanted to go back w him so bad but didn’t because of the commitment to my faith and my testimony. He understood and we remained really tight, close. Went back to Canadahe stayed behind. One day I just knew he was going to die, 3 times The Lord told me. don’t know how… but I knew. After that kept having dreams that he was taken from me. One day a few weeks prior he told me that he was so worried about me he had a dream that I was sobbing uncontrollably and he tried to comfort but nothing worked. I was devastated in his dream. Same night I had a dream that a flood came and took him away… cant recall the details. Only that my kids survived hanging onto something that wasn’t me. More like a table. On Christmas 2019 I didn’t want to contact my ex till New Years. Didn’t want him to get depressedon New Year’s Eve while everyone celebrated, I just prayed and was miserable missing him. Got up early New Year’s Day, made coffee and readied to Chat w him open computer and first thing I see is a public note about his passing. he was a known musician in his country the note was to the public not to me.

    I literally buckled. Lost it. For his celebration of life I had to go into my files for pics etc. Found the letters and songs… revolving aroundand in every one saying “I’m going to die without you, don’t let me die… “ give me a chance to make you happy forever, want to live to make you happy “ (he always knew howonly one ever to know). Cried every day all day for 6 months. The next few months aImost every day, not all day. I have littles from my new marriage. Barely talked for a year. My 2 year old still can’t speaklack of stimulation from silent crying mom. (Me)

    Eventually Went to a therapist. On insistence of my family. She was Christian. Showed me the pride in my position, thinking I could do things better than GodI had thought I would be more merciful cause I wouldn’t have offed him. But I accepted and I repented and God talked to me again and explained things to me like the fact I was here living my life while he pined his away for 5 years since he last saw me. (The Lord had stopped speaking to my heart for the while i was angry, which made me furious.)

    I was ok for a while till the anniversary came along. Fell off the wagon, gained weight eating chocolate drinking coke all day (self destructive he did the same thing when he lost mestopped eating except cookies and coke)
    Can’t shake it. Guilt. Sadness. Just can’t process this. I had normal grief years ago when my gramma passed. I loved her she was my fave I was hers… but this… abnormal. Complicated grief. To make matters worsealone in the thick of it. Everyone around me disappeared… zero support, ppl saying get over it, you weren’t together anyways. Everyone ditched me on the matter. I know they thought I was like those ppl that make death of others about thembut he meant so much to me. We were soul tied in a bad way.

    No one would talk about him except my mom and my therapist for $100 a session.

    I’m still in the dumps. Though not as far down. My heart still shattered. So much more to the story. �� question: can complicated grief be resolved? Sometimes I’m afraid to resolvelike I’ll lose him more. I’m only on min 10:32 into this vid but had to share that. Why? No clue. Just know that my guilt is legit. I am
    a factor in his death. I could have done things differently. Also difficult to accept grieving in this way and fighting w God being a Christian myself. Have 4 of the five conditionsand the 8 of the secondary list.
    Depression, loss of enjoyment of life and anxiety at times. Though more depressed than anxious. Feeling more like I give up. Can’t handle the thought of going back to the therapistjust want to melt away and feel guilty because I know that’s wrong. His last words to me werehave a “happy” holiday. Signed your ghost friend.

    I still don’t know if it was a suicide. I don’t think it wasbut No one investigated just buried him, alone w no one who loved him around to see him go.

    Ohto further compound things I have an autoimmune disorder and in pain all the time and am a single momreally really hard to love life again guilt because I’m a Christian and should be dealing differently. To boot the year before he passed I lost my church of 14 years and that in itself was so so hard. So hard to navigate this world alone and in pain but I NEVER want to be with another man EVER again:(

  • This video helped me alot identifying why I’ve been struggling with the sudden death of my mother, and loss of a pet shortly after. Thank you.

  • I hate grief. I don’t feel like this video explains it all it’s a very compartmentalized way of going about it. Someone mentioned Tony Walkers new stages and that makes more sense to me but mine went from losing him to wondering where he was and if he’s safe so..”wondering” isn’t part of the stages but if something is there and then isn’t there-there’s a lot more that goes into that. Loss can get really existential.

  • Can complicated grief be caused by the things due to a narcissistic mother? Hit by a drunk driver, going through back surgeries, I was on way too many prescriptions to process my mother shooting my wolf dog I raised since he was 23 days old & her trying to quick claim my land & home. Since boundaries up,she is furious & I’m the 1 in therapy. It’s worse than my SMI missing husband. Went hypothyroid to hyperthyroid in less than 2 months,gaining weight ect. I put myself in rehab at 21 for a year to process my life. Everywhere are triggers here now & she will not move out. Therapist suggests evicting her but the guilt. She is the biggest heartbreak of my life.

  • My aunt JP just passed today-like a mom and BFF in one! She was always the ” cool aunt” and then lived with me and by daughter for past 12 or more years. Your video was perfect timing. Tx for all your hard and genuine work! Many of your videos have been educational and supportive. I am a fan.

    Grieve your own way an own pace and speak of your loved ones. She was Our Family Historian and will be missed and loved and rememberes. A giving thoughtful and strong Buddhist. Nam myoho renge Kyo and God bless her

  • my grandpa died 2 days ago, and i dont know how to react since i was already suffering from major depressive disorder before, now i sleep all day and staying awake is painful, the pain feels like its burning me, and my depression is worse than before

  • Well let’s just clarify right now the DSM-5 is no bible that’s for sure or it is a bible ie it’s written by fallible humans! Next time they update it maybe all the objections to that diagnosis of major depressive disorder if you are still grief stricken after 2 or 3 months when someone very close to you died…. maybe when everyone object in the profession and the clients they will update that and remove it altogether. Depression and grief are not the same. Grief is pain of loss of someone. Depression is how you feel about yourself, or can’t feel at all. Grief is a process. Depression is a disorder…. etc. You see.

  • I just lost my Dad. He has been in my life for 55 years. I learned too late that he was my very best friend. I feel grief, regret, guilt, remorse and unbelievable sorrow. No words can describe what I am going through. I really don’t feel the words of anyone can relate to or alleviate my sorrow. I will grieve, and rightfully so, for the rest of my life.

  • I just found out that someone who took care of me as if I was their own child when my adopted parents were abusing me passed away she was an amazing person with the kindest and purest of heart I just wish that I could see her one last time to thank her for everything that she had done for me. She was just too good for this world I guess. Much love to those who are suffering from grief,, stay strong for them��������

  • I think what can make grief more complicating is that everyone seems to have different opinions about “how” someone should grieve. I decided to make a video about the 10 things I (unfortunately) heard while grieving the loss of my father and alternatives that may be more sensitive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bsl1Xa4MGw&t=1s Thank you for your video!

  • Kati, thank you for this video. I’ve finally reached out to someone to help me process various events in my life that have been compounding over the years and this video has finally put a few things into perspective for me regarding trauma and processing of grief and loss. I also work in hospice as a social worker where I have to educate families and clients about grief. This was beautifully explained. Love your videos, they are super helpful.

  • I must say right now yesterday it was Christmas 2019 I was concerned about my younger brother recently lost his beautiful wife who died suddenly of a heart attack @ work passing away at the hospital….yrs too young 47!
    Just writing this tears streaming down my face……
    I’ve got to say as well I’m mentally ill ive rapid cycling bipolar disorder,the harder to treat.
    So,not getting a quick call from my brother I’m so close to I actually wrote in the email I’ve been so supportive of) I told him I understand this is a tough time for you,but I’m hurting too.WOW!!!! THE CRUEL EMAIL I RECEIVED IN RETURN left me in �������������� then angry! My brother said I’m so selfish how could I not understand his pain, HE NEVER WANTS TO BE IN CONTACT WITH ME AGAIN!!!!
    I simply broke down,& wept.
    Called my sister,cancelled our dinner tonite she asked why?
    I read her the email word for word.
    Of course,she won’t get in between.
    I tried to email back.
    Again,he said don’t talk to me,goodbye…..
    More tears.
    Knowing I’ve to look nice for dinner I’m still in bed super depressed no motivation
    Haven’t even washed my face/ brushed teeth.
    Don’t care about a damn thing.
    It feels like another death actually.
    I’ve always been SO CLOSE ago my younger bro
    Those words were like daggers to my heart bc everyday since wife’s passing I’ve emailed & beenSUPPORTIVE!
    Totally unselfish!!
    I can’t give anymore
    I’m done
    I’m spent
    I’m sick
    I’ve lost her too loved her too!
    The fact my brother hates me is simply too much
    I’m living in the depths of hell
    I feel like when my beloved Dad died
    Lost
    Confused
    No place on earth for me

    That exhaust me plus recovering over pneumonia & bronchitis,now getting another infection!!!
    So frustrating.

  • I hardly cried when my mom died. I had just gone through divorce and health issues and was now a single parent, plus some family of origin dysfunction came to the surface during her illness and I felt significant alienation. The day my mom died my ex asked me and our son over to his and his new wife’s place to tell us that he had been diagnosed with throat cancer. All my focus was on being as solid as possible for my son’s sake. I didn’t cry for the loss of my mom until about a decade later.

  • I always tell ppl, the big hole in my heart caused by my father’s death never healed. If anything, it got more painful, and he died 18 years, 6 months, and 14 days ago <3. It still feels like it happened today. I'm still there. I've carried it with me all these years. When I realize it's been 18 plus years, I feel shocked. Did all this time really pass? How? And how did I get from there to here?...because I'm still there.... One copes, one survives, one does not move on, one moves forward with it. She's so right. <3

  • Thank you for explaining. This was helpful to me. I’m trying to process my estranged fathers passing. It is certainly complicated.

  • Hi Kati…. thanks for this video. This is new to me but has helped. I believe I have Complicated Grief but it is not due to a death but due to a marriage separation. I notice you omit this from your clip (and focus on death only as the loss creating CG) so is there any reason for this? And would this lead you to challenge my understanding that I have CG? Thanks, Tony.

  • Hmmm. Shame based. Also maybe, a situation where you were keeping someone away due to a grudge or inforced alienation, then that loved one dies or suicides and the loss is compounded by the awareness of all the time you wastes keeping them at arms length. And its too late. So grieving layers of regret too.

  • i am really sad RN i cant even get with the fact that all that happened was real
    i didnt spend a lot of time with her in her last days and it feels so bad
    i feel guilty

  • Thanks for this video. My mom has complicated grief (and probably depression/anxiety as well). Her behaviour and character changed immensely especially the last 4 years. Gerring extremer as time passes. My dad past away 11 years ago, not peaceful. She never got over it and couldnt taste anything for over a year. She frequently spoke/speaks about killing herself, having no value in life. At the same time drawing all memories of my dad into a negative light. “Cause you shouldn’t forget what happened!” Also some other odd behaviour. She is seeking mental guidance. But she has 1 appointment every 2 months due to waiting lists etc. Idk if the help she’s given helps. But I will surely show her this vid in hope she understands it.:)

  • Yes, I experienced complicated grief with many of the negative effects listed by the therapist.
    I chose to ignore the loss of my mother and pushed the reality of her death, also in awful circumstances, to the back of my mindwhere it festerd for decades playing the devil with my consciousness.
    The effect caused me strange behaviours and thoughts.
    Looking back later I saw I was fighting a powerful sense of guilt of my disrespect to my mother when I admitted my disrepect to her to myself many years later my chronic distress vanished like scotch mist!
    If only I had the honesty to own my disrespect to her after her death and grieved her loss as the therapist described above.

  • Here for my sweet angel of a grandmother, who touched my heart more deeply than anyone else has in the entirety of my whole life. She passed away on 2/3/18 from pancreatic cancer. I miss her every day.

  • When I went through a breakup last year, it was definitely an invalidated, sudden loss. And I was not kind to myself about what I was feeling and how long I was feeling it. Thanks for the reminder that made sense to go through that.

  • I feel like this describes my situation completely. I have stuffed the pain down for so long I now have physical symptoms. I lose my vision, I hurt physically, I lose my speech, I go numb on half of my body, and get very confused. If it were not for my kids I would not get out of bed.

  • I’m only a month after the loss of my mother, but my therapist thinks it’s very likely already showing signs of complicated grief. Anger and numbness, isolation and feelings of bitterness and distrust are high, with sadness not being the overriding feeling. Can you actually diagnose it that early? We knew she was dying of cancer some 4 months back and I seemed to go into full blown grief early (probably because she was so crippled with it she was barely even the person I knew for a long time)

  • This week is the painful anniversary of losing my son at 18 which is same week as his birthday. I really needed this validation that I’m not going crazy. Thank you.

  • I just lost my pig today, that may sound weird but he was my happiness and he was my everything. I can’t deal with it I can eat anymore, I can’t sleep anymore and I can’t stop crying. I haven’t told anyone yet because I hate expressing my feelings. I want to be with him I am struggling with suicidal thoughts. I can’t do this. I mis him so much it hurts.

  • I’ve lost my eldest brother, my dad, my sister, my other brother, all 4 grandparents and my cat…. They death of my cat was the worst one to get through! Damn it I loved that cat! I hated my dad and the things he put us through, the World is a better place without him, but I do feel a lot of guilt, and rightly so, because his death was somewhat my fault. Really I try not to think about it, any of it, and I’m getting pretty good at death, it doesn’t affect me anymore, some say I’m stonecold, I suppose I’m trying to put a lid on it. My brothers and sisters deaths were a shame, really though they did stupid things, and it had consequences, my grandparents were hella old, so you know whatever. But it bugs me that I have to feel all this annoying ass guilt towards a man that I hated with every fiber in my body, and dont get me wrong I’m glad he’s gone, I’d just wish I didn’t have the guilt of having been a part of that, though in the end it was his own choice.

  • I lost my grandma in April this year. The 15th. We had to go to our moms that day. I remember my dad and stepmom waking us up at 9 am, calling us to the living room. They told us grandma was breathing funny and that this might be it. She had cancer and called hospice the Friday before.
    We went and said our goodbyes. 12:37 pm, I believe that’s when she went. I went back there, and that was the last time I saw her body, lifeless.
    I was in denial for a while, and her death has only really hit me these last couple of months.
    I miss you grandma, I’ll never forget the fun times we had <3

  • I lost my dad in the beginning of this year, it’s so hard and sometimes you’re crying and you can’t make it through your words and sometimes you’re cracking jokes it’s so bizarre.

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  • Hello, Hello Ria�� I was happy to see you again. Your honest, insightful words and raw emotion WILL help people�� I lost my mother in 2013 and a 1 year old cat very suddenly in March. It is a very personal process that we all have to go through at our own pace. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom�� I’m sending you warm, healing thoughts from Cape Cod ����

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  • I understand more of what I’ve been going through Sence listening to your video just now. I have talked with DR. That told me I was dealing with complicated grief but I didn’t understand it ���� I do now thanks to you!! Tyvm for explaining so well, it’s like you reached into my heart and mind and pulled all this out!!!

  • My grandma and grandpa died last year they both died at a hospice place my grandpa kidney wasn’t working good anymore and my grandma heart wasn’t working good anymore and her kidneys too. I miss them so much and my great aunt just died last November and my uncle died in December 2017 I miss them so much

  • I lost my dear Father in Law….His loss triggered the loss of my own Dad..I just hope there is an afterlife, and that they are in the sunny uplands of a peaceful place, reunited with their loved ones.��

  • Really appreciate your videos, Kati. Do you have suggestions for online/virtual programs for clinicians seeking grief counseling certification/training?

  • Love this talk, so true, Nora has really spoken to me. I have gone on to read her books and as I go through my husband’s cancer diagnosis, I take comfort knowing there is a place for me to share my grief and sorrow.

  • I lost my grandma on the 14th of June 2019 she died in her sleep no pain. I’m angry and depressed that I didn’t get to know her better.

  • I am so sad… I lost my father and my grandmother, about 1 month ago. I can’t stop crying. Sometimes I think I will never be happy again.

  • There is a wonderful hope for our dead loved ones. Please read John 11:11-14 then read John 5:28,29. To be encouraged more, go to jw.org

  • I lost my soulmate suddenly to a car crash 22 years ago, and was left with two young children to raise on my own. I never had a chance to say goodbye, and, in fact, because of the turmoil the morning she left for work, it was only the second time in our marriage that we didn’t kiss each other goodbye. The kids are grown and mostly gone, and I found a way to go on with life, but in finally finding the courage to watch old videos for the first time in 22 years I have triggered my unresolved grief, and I’m having a terrible time realizing I will never see my wife again. I haven’t found a way to say goodbye because I don’t want to say goodbye. I still can’t imagine living my life without her. I don’t want to experience life without her.

  • What helps me the most, after having to lost too many loved ones at a young age, is to think about the love we shared. I’ve always found that love is more powerful than the pain of their deaths. Even though the pain exists and hurts like nothing else, the love never dies. That’s something that the death would never took away from me. I still cry like the days they’ve passed away, but that love they had given me it’s enough to fueling the joy of having had the chance to meet them.

  • I lost my mum this year to suicide. And I feel numb most weeks but then I burst into anger an tears, I miss her everyday and I wish I didn’t argue with her the day before she took her life, I wanted to tell her I loved her
    I just want to go back in time and hug her..

  • I lost my Great Great Grandmama on the 28thof March and i am still Griving even know it only happend last month i still feeling the pain its feels so numb since then i have.nt cried and i am still not crying it feels like my heart has being brooken RIP Great Great Grandmama you will always be in are heart you will never be forgotton ������������������ i trying to heal but i still can.t heal i am still not ready to talk to other ppl becuse other ppl might not have being through and i feel that i am not ready

  • This didnt help me at all (sorry) its just my parents means like the world to me is it because i have severe thanataophobia or is it that i really love my parents

  • Thanks for putting this out. Gives me hope to see that we all go through similar things during this tough time.

    I have started my own youtube channel that shares my personal journey of healing after the loss of my Dad. If you’re interested, please checkout my newest video:

    https://youtu.be/pFj9v2Pfkl4

    I hope you like it and consider subscribing!
    I’ll be posting weekly on topics that cover his wisdom and that which I’ve gained throughout this process and my life.

  • I think complicated grief can be caused when there’s an element of PTSD. I was a carer for my mum for over ten years and she suffered so much in the last six months. I’m now finding it very hard to process the grief, being haunted by memories of her suffering and the stress we both went through. I just feel completely traumatised by the whole thing and have wished that I could die many times.

  • Thank you this is explaining me perfectly, I was lost because I couldn’t understand what I am feeling. I didn’t deal with it I partied for years and now 19 years later I’m facing dealing with a double tragedy a violent loss as you explain.

  • Over one year ago and yet Nora’s presentation is timeless and significant and moving! I”ve endured tremendous losses the past 25 years (Dad’s anniversary of 25 years June 11th) and I promise you he continues to guide and share messages that have deeply helped open me more and live to help my clients move beyond grief, navigate transitions of loss and give a new purpose. Nora is so moving!

  • May Godess, the ALMIGHTY Sustain Your Humorous Approaches! Gifted SMART YOU CONTINUE TO COPE WITH CHALLENGES at Stake! ������������������

  • I just recently lost my spouse of 10 years, on May 8, 2020. It’s been a month and I’m struggling. I’m by myself, his family members have always hated me and spread a lot of lies and bullshit on social media. I’ve had no time off work because bills need to be paid. I feel like I’m cracking. little things trigger me like his clothes, shoes, driving past places we used to go together and I cry. I hate going out because I see people as couples, in restaurants, movies and I’m by myself. It feels awkward, lonely and the silence is so loud. It’s so hard to move forward. The future that we had planned is gone and I have a hard time seeing any future at this time.

  • I sit here today,my husband died today at 1:30 p.m. this afternoon. We were together for 19 years. I found this video, listeningand understanding how lucky I am and was to have found that person that got me. My biggest fear is going to sleep tonight, and dreaming something does going to make me cry tomorrow. Thank you for posting this video. It helped me a lot.

  • What a fantastic talk! So many people think that we will grieve and then magically return to “normal”. It just isn’t possible. People needs tools and skills. No one should grieve alone.

  • I know this is hard to understand but I lost my beloved horse 2 weeks ago after 19 years together. He was my world, it was so sudden. My heart aches to cuddle him one more time. I’m struggling so bad without him.

  • I lost my nineteen year old daughter a week ago yesterday. She was my only child, my soulmate, my best friend, everything. I’m existing, but I’m not living right now. Knowing my daughter would be crushed to see me like this is the only thing driving me to keep moving and trying to find my way back up from this feeling.

  • Well said, you can’t get over it, you have to get through it, and it stays with it. The fact is that the death of a loved one changes everything and for ever.

  • My grandma died an hour ago and I couldn’t even say goodbye or say sorry for things i said or did wrong and i couldn’t even see her because of stupid corona virus because hospital doesn’t let in even relatives.

  • This is so important. I am 61 years old, and was married for 39 years. He didn’t die (we are divorced, after other trauma as well). You absolutely don’t “move on.” You “live with.” I am so grateful for you!

  • My Father recently died after 10 months of battling after falling from a great height. It’s still a shock but he passed peacefully in his sleep. I just turned 20 in late March

  • I am sorry for your loss. My father died when I was 8 years old. I have never processed my emotions about this loss properly. I understand your pain. Thank you for this video. I wish you all the best

  • i lost my grandma over a year ago, and i’ve cried about her every week since. i feel so helpless. she made me feel accepted and safe in a way that no other family member has. i miss her. she was the best person in my life. i love you, grandma. i wish you could have seen me grow up. i wish you could see me figure out myself. maybe i could have re-introduce myself. i’m not your little granddaughter. i’m your grandson. thank you for caring about me, grandma. i love you.

  • One life lesson my dog Che Che who recently passed away, is that she made me face the reality of death. Life is too short. We don’t know when our loved ones leave us physically. She made me realize that it’s okay to think about death because that’s life. She made me realize that there is no need for hesitations, planning too much, waiting before it’s too late. Love your loved ones, always be there for them and cherish every waking moment with the people you care about. And whatever you must do, do it before time runs out. Live without regrets.

  • Never knew of this term until today.  My significant other passed away in 2001 thanks to cancer.  She was a school teacher with a master’s degree.   I’ve been alone ever since in the relationship department.  I still visit her grave 2-4 times a year.  But life goes on.  I have accumulated great things over the years.  I enjoy where I’m at.  I’m about to find major wealth when I submit a new idea for a patent.  I always have a lot of hope that things will always get better.  I work too much.  I run jobs that others have difficulty with.  Finding another person to love would be nice but I don’t really expect it to happen again.  Was on a dating site for more than 3 years and never found someone that could be matched with me.  God’s will I guess.  Maybe I have complicated grief or something similar.  I keep thinking sooner or later the right person for me will come along one day.  I used tto go out to the local bars just to hang out.  Play pool table games, etc.  There’s a lot of other people out there that are a lot worse off than me.  At least I’m not homeless or locked up somewhere.  Will keep my life going the way it is.  Could be better, and then things could be a lot worse.

  • I totally understand your grief over your cat. People who minimize pet loss probably have never had that unique and close bond with a pet.

  • My gf was confirmed dead two weeks ago. My mom said it’s been two weeks already, move on with your life! Enough is enough! Maybe my mom doesn’t know what it’s like to lose your loved one.. I mean… THE ONE.. in a boyfriend/grlfriend or romantic relationship. Her husband is still alive. Is it normal to lose the love of your life, it be 2 weeks, and even 2 weeks, you still feel major pain about it as if it were the first day you found out?

  • My grandad died over 5 years ago but I realised I never did, I’m actually just starting now. During those years I had really bad untreated mental health, I suppressed everything. This video was so so helpful, thank you!

    (My grandad raised me all my life, we had a very close relationship )

  • My grandpa just died and I feel like someone is stabbing me right now and im in shock I can’t copy with it, my dad just left me now him,why can’t it just be me next������

  • What she says abput that connection of calm-I recognise that. It has only been 2 weeks today since I lost him to leukaemia and I am still wildly stalling but I have been watching this Ted Talk in the morning to feel calmer.

  • I’m in immense pain right now…I’ll never be the same person again…I never experienced grief in my life and then from all last year until now I’ve experienced 7 losses that had some significance to me all at once. It’s just unbearable. I’m only 20 yrs old. The immense pain I feel….and 2 of them were murders. You just don’t know what to do with yourself. You really have to live with it. I’m just spending so much time with my family right now. I’m just very happy that I’m alive to do what I want to do in my life. I’m just trying REALLY hard to talk to people. Just trying to get a lot of rest and take care of myself. I’m so grateful my mother is still here with me. And my sister. And my dad. I’m blessed. I love you all ❤️